Practice Of Returning Series: When Stillness Feels Unsafe

Welcome.

I'm glad you're here.

Today we're exploring an experience many people quietly struggle with but rarely talk about.

That state when stillness,

The very thing that's supposed to feel calming,

Actually makes you feel uneasy.

Now this can show up as the urge to look for bad you're just sure is there when things seem to be going well and the sense of constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.

In this space,

Stillness and calm can feel either boring or unsafe.

Now the root beneath both experiences is the same and it can make it really challenging to heal when the healing process itself feels unsafe.

Now before we begin,

I want to offer a gentle reminder.

Learning to feel safe in stillness can sometimes bring up memories,

Sensations or emotions connected to times when you felt unsafe.

This is a natural part of the process but it can feel intense.

If at any point it becomes too much,

It is completely okay to pause,

Step away and return to this practice another time when you feel ready.

This is your practice and your sense of safety always comes first.

With that in mind,

Let's begin by gently settling into the present moment.

Maybe you've tried to sit quietly only to feel your chest tighten.

Maybe silence feels too loud.

Maybe the moment you slow down,

Your mind starts to race,

Your body tenses or a wave of emotion arises that you're just not really sure you're ready to meet.

For some,

Calm doesn't feel like calm at all.

It feels vulnerable,

Exposed,

Unpredictable.

You might even find yourself avoiding rest,

Avoiding quiet,

Avoiding the very spaces meant to help you reset.

If this feels familiar,

Know that nothing is wrong with you.

Your system has learned at some point that stillness wasn't safe.

Maybe because slowing down meant feeling things you just couldn't process at the time or because quiet moments historically came with conflict,

Uncertainty or threat.

Your body is responding exactly as it was designed to in order to survive.

Today,

We're not forcing stillness.

We're simply meeting the part of you that feels uneasy with compassion and curiosity and helping your system discover a tiny pocket of ease within that discomfort.

Now,

Before we go deeper,

Let's create a soft landing.

Not full stillness,

Just a gentler pace.

We're preparing ourselves to receive support and reminding the system that safety can grow slowly,

In layers,

At a pace your body chooses.

Let your body find a position that feels as comfortable as it can right now.

You don't have to be perfectly still,

Just let yourself settle at your own pace.

Take a breath in through your nose and release it through your mouth with a soft sigh.

Let your eyes find whatever feels easiest.

Closed,

Open,

Somewhere in between.

Now bring your attention to one point of contact in your body.

Maybe it could be your feet on the floor,

Your hips in the chair,

Your back against a cushion,

Or even the feeling of your hands resting together.

Just choose one place that feels neutral or steady.

And let your awareness rest there,

Lightly,

Like placing your hand on a doorknob rather than gripping it.

You might notice a temperature,

A bit of pressure,

A sense of weight,

Or simply the fact that you're being held by something solid.

There's no need to quiet your mind.

There's no need to silence your body.

We're not aiming for emptiness.

We're aiming for anchoring.

And if it feels better to move a little,

Like rocking,

Shifting,

Or stretching,

Let your body respond to that.

Movement is allowed here.

Your nervous system is allowed to participate.

Take another slow inhale.

And an easy exhale.

Let this moment mark the beginning of your practice.

Not absolute stillness,

But supported presence.

For many people,

Being still or quiet doesn't feel restful.

It feels threatening.

That's because the nervous system has learned that stillness can expose underlying tension,

Anxiety,

Or unresolved trauma.

It's like when the silence gets too much and all the voices start in your head.

When the body and brain are on high alert,

Pausing creates space for sensations,

Emotions,

And thoughts that may have been suppressed.

In other words,

Stillness amplifies awareness of what your system has been trying to protect you from.

Physiologically,

This happens because your nervous system is tuned to detect danger.

When you're moving or distracted,

Energy is being directed toward action and external engagement.

But when you stop,

That energy shifts inward.

Your heart may race,

Muscles may tighten,

Your mind may spiral.

These are classic signs of the sympathetic nervous system kicking in.

It's not that you're doing it wrong.

It's that your body is doing exactly what it was designed to do,

Which is keep you safe.

Sometimes in response to this,

We fall into the pattern of believing that safety must come from outside ourselves.

That because something external made us feel unsafe,

Only something external can restore safety.

But that isn't true.

When something outside of us makes us feel unsafe,

It's not the external world itself,

But the loss of our own internal sense of power to feel safe.

The path to real safety is reclaiming that power,

Learning to become our own safe place,

And training the nervous system to respond to calm rather than threat.

Now,

Grounding practices help us because they give your system a way to feel safety while staying present with the sensations that make you feel uncomfortable.

By slowly noticing the body,

The breath,

And the environment around you,

You signal to the brain that it's safe to maintain alertness without panicking.

Over time,

Repeated gentle practice teaches the nervous system that stillness doesn't always equal danger,

And it allows calm and quiet to be experienced as restorative rather than threatening.

Now,

This process is an instant.

I wish that it was.

Just as a body accustomed to high alert doesn't immediately relax when it stops moving,

The nervous system needs repeated experiences of safety and stillness to recalibrate.

Each time you practice,

You create a small window of trust,

Proof,

Evidence to your body that it can remain present,

Grounded,

And safe,

Even in moments of quiet.

Now,

Let's go ahead and practice feeling safe in a grounded practice.

Let's begin by finding a comfortable position,

Sitting,

Lying down,

Or whatever feels supportive for your body right now.

Allow yourself to settle,

Letting the weight of your body be fully held by whatever supports you.

Take a slow,

Intentional breath in through your nose,

And let it release gently through your mouth.

Again,

Breathe in,

And exhale fully,

Noticing the small rise and fall of your chest or belly.

As you continue to breathe,

Bring awareness to the points of contact between your body and the surface that supports you.

Feel the strength of the ground beneath you,

The chair holding your weight,

Or the floor supporting your legs.

Imagine the ground is warm and steady,

Like sunlit earth holding you gently but firmly,

Supporting you without effort.

Now place a hand on your chest,

Your belly,

Or whatever feels natural.

Feel the warmth and weight of your hand,

The subtle movement of your breath.

Picture your hand as a small anchor,

A safe harbor for your energy,

A place where your body knows that it's seen and supported.

Slowly scan your body,

Noticing areas of tension or tightness.

Don't try to change anything,

Simply notice.

With each exhale,

Imagine a gentle wave of calm washing over those areas,

Like sunlight softening shadows,

Or water smoothing pebbles in a stream.

Each breath releases a little tension,

A little fear,

A little resistance.

Now gently bring your attention to the idea that safety is something you create within yourself.

With each inhale,

Imagine drawing a soft golden light into your center,

A quiet reservoir of stability.

With each exhale,

Release the notion that safety must come from outside.

You are reclaiming your power to feel safe,

To be your own calm,

To let stillness exist without threat.

If anxious or fearful thoughts arise,

Notice them without judgment.

Imagine placing them on a floating leaf or a cloud and letting them drift gently down a river.

Each time you return your focus to your breath,

Your hand,

Or your body,

You're reinforcing your internal safe space,

Like planting small flags of calm and stability throughout your nervous system.

Spend a few more breaths here,

Noticing the rhythm of your inhale and your exhale,

The support beneath you,

The warmth in your hand,

The golden light at your center.

Let the understanding sink in.

You are capable of safety,

Even in moments of quiet,

Even in moments of stillness.

As this practice draws to a close,

Take one last long breath in and release it fully.

Gently wiggle your fingers and toes.

Notice the world around you,

Carrying this sense of internal safety and steady energy with you.

Take a moment to notice how your body feels right now,

After practicing stillness and reconnecting with your breath and your presence.

You might gently consider,

What sensations or feelings arise for me when I allow stillness?

How does my body respond when I slow down and notice it without trying to change anything?

What small actions,

Boundaries,

Or reminders might help me feel safer and more grounded in moments of quiet?

And how can I invite stillness to be a gentle,

Supportive presence,

Rather than something that feels threatening?

There's no need to answer these questions immediately or even fully.

Simply notice what arises,

Allowing your thoughts and feelings to come and go with curiosity and compassion.

Now take one more long,

Grounding breath in.

And let it fall out slowly,

Releasing any lingering tension.

Imagine a soft,

Warm light filling your body,

Carrying with it the understanding that you are capable of safety,

Calm,

And presence.

Let that light settle in your chest,

Your belly,

Your heart,

Or wherever you feel it most.

As you move forward,

Remember,

Stillness isn't a threat.

It's a doorway to your own internal sanctuary.

You can return here anytime.

You can become your own safe place,

Moment by moment.

If this practice helped you reconnect even slightly with your own inner calm,

I invite you to follow Create the Calm here on Insight Timer.

You'll be notified whenever I release new teachings,

Practices,

Or classes,

Including my full class on this topic,

Coming Home to Your Body,

Designed to help you reclaim safety,

Presence,

And steady energy in your daily life.

Until next time,

May you carry this sense of grounding,

Reclaiming,

And calm with you,

Now and always.