Tonglen For Diminishing The Three Poisons (No Music)

Today I'm going to offer you a Tonglen practice to transform anger.

According to Buddhist philosophy,

Anger is one of the three poisons,

Which include greed,

Raga,

Hatred or anger,

Dvesha,

And doha,

Delusion or ignorance.

The three poisons are explored from a neuroscience perspective and a Buddhist perspective,

In a series of conversations between the Dalai Lama and scientists.

Through multiple studies conducted all over the world,

They found that 1.

Destructive emotions like greed and anger contribute to more stress and can lead to health problems,

And 2.

That people who meditate,

From Buddhist monks to lay people just learning to meditate as part of the studies,

Have less destructive emotions and that meditation helps transform these emotions when they arise.

From a change-making perspective,

Anger is where we desire change.

Anger is an extremely understandable response to injustice,

And we can't change anger and hatred in the world by adding more anger and hatred to it.

Anger can be an indicator light.

It can show us where we desire transformation,

And where we experience the suffering of the world,

It can show us where we desire change.

What I have seen work with my own eyes is the transformation of anger.

We're not aiming to repress it.

We don't want to express it and hurt those around us and ourselves.

But there's another option,

And that is to transform it,

To compost it.

We're not letting it go out into the world as it is,

As anger,

But transforming it into something new,

Where beautiful things can grow from it.

Today we're going to first work on transforming our own anger.

Because it can be difficult to breathe in all of our suffering,

We will awaken our hearts,

Our better nature,

Our Buddha nature,

First.

Give ourselves and receive some metta,

Some unconditional loving-kindness,

And then we will offer that same unconditional loving-kindness to our anger.

This is an advanced practice.

So be gentle with yourself.

It takes practice.

My teacher once told a story about when he was fortunate enough to have an audience with the Dalai Lama.

He asked him,

Is it okay to do tonglen practice by receiving love and giving,

Letting out anger,

Etc.

?

The Dalai Lama smiled and said,

It's okay.

Let me ask you,

Where does it go?

At that point,

I'm certain he had a revelation or he wouldn't have shared the story with us,

As I certainly did when he told me the story and it changed the way I think.

Even though the earth or the river or the ocean seems like it can probably handle our emotions and our grief,

If we know how to transform it,

Why not?

If we know that everything is connected,

We know that whatever we put out there comes back to us.

So let's put out love and compassion into the world.

Now,

Instead of releasing my anger into the world,

I offer it compassion.

And I let the vibration of love,

Which is higher than that of fear or hatred,

To transform it.

If this all sounds like rainbows and butterflies,

Wonderful things,

By the way,

It is more than that.

I have seen this process work.

I have seen it work in myself.

I have seen it work in my children.

And I have seen it work in community with adults.

Just by breathing in the anger,

Frustration,

And letting it be cleansed through my clear heart and intention,

Breathing out love,

Peace and calm,

It has changed in real time the interactions I've had with people.

Again,

This is an advanced practice.

It takes time and effort to learn how to do this.

But that's why we're here.

So that after practicing this for a while,

When we're in a situation where we have anger arise in ourselves,

Or someone is expressing hatred or anger towards us,

We know what to do.

We know how to do this.

So let's try this.

See how it feels.

I invite you now to close your eyes.

If you're in a space that it's safe and comfortable for you to do so.

Take a deep nourishing breath in.

Establishing ourselves in the here and now.

And release it.

Adjust your comfort level to be optimum.

We're going to be working with some potentially tender feelings today.

So let's offer our bodies the most compassionate and comfortable position.

Being as gentle with ourselves as we can.

Take another deep breath in.

And let that go.

One more time,

Taking a deep breath in.

Feel where the air is coming into you.

Into your nose,

Down your throat,

Into your lungs,

And deep down into your belly.

And on the out breath,

Feel it come out of the belly and up into the lungs,

Throat,

And out through the nose.

Now let's awaken our hearts.

You can place a hand on your heart if that feels comfortable.

Giving reassurance to the heart space.

And bring to your heart mind someone who you love unconditionally.

Or someone that represents the feeling of unconditional love to you.

Breathe in that feeling.

And on the out breath,

Offer it to yourself.

Feeling that resonate through your whole body.

Again,

Breathing in the feeling of meta-unconditional love.

And on the out breath,

Flow that feeling out into the world.

This heart space,

This is who you truly are.

Love.

Loved unconditionally.

Loving unconditionally.

Remember that as we move into the Tonglen practice.

Bring to your mind something that makes you feel angry,

Resentful,

Or hatred.

Take a deep breath into it.

Just noticing.

Keep breathing.

And notice where the anger is arising in your body.

You can either place a hand or your loving attention in that space.

You might feel it in your heart,

Or in your jaw,

Or your gut.

These are clues about the root cause that you can explore later.

But right now,

With your awareness in that space,

Bring some gentle movement into that area of your body to soften it.

Now that we've identified where the anger lives in our body,

Offer it some compassion.

On the next inhale,

Say to yourself,

Say to your anger,

Hello,

Anger.

I see you.

And on the exhale,

See if you can say thank you to your anger.

Thank you for showing me that.

Thank you for showing me my unmet need.

Thank you for showing me the injustice that I've been feeling.

Inhale one more time with an acknowledgement.

And exhale with a thank you,

Sending your anger,

Love,

And compassion.

Where you're feeling angry or frustrated is just alerting you to something that you would like to change.

A need that isn't being met.

A place where you don't have the skills yet.

Or something in the world that you would like to change.

Anger was never changed by adding more anger to it.

So we offer love and compassion and acceptance for what it is now.

And we say thank you for letting us know so that we can do the work of transformation.

At your own pace,

Let's breathe in this space for a few breaths.

Acknowledging the anger that's arising in us.

Moving this space physically,

If it feels right.

Continuing to offer love and compassion.

You may notice it changing,

Diminishing in the presence of love,

Or it may have migrated to a new spot.

Just keep acknowledging it,

Even as it moves or fights back like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum.

Keep acknowledging on the inhale,

Bringing movement to the space and offering it love and compassion on the exhale.

Now that we know what it feels like to have anger arise in us and to meet it with love and compassion and understanding,

We're going to practice this now on someone else who we know is suffering.

Someone who might be ill or struggling or in pain.

When you breathe in,

Imagine that you are breathing in that suffering.

Breathing in their pain and let it be cleansed through the loving care of your heart.

And on the out-breath,

Send them the ease to their suffering.

Send them healing,

Peace,

A balm.

Let's do that again.

Breathe in their suffering,

Their destructive emotions,

And send them the opposite.

On the out-breath,

Send them compassion.

Send them contentedness and understanding.

Let's do this for the Earth herself.

The living,

Breathing planet who sustains all life and is experiencing all of the suffering that she is experiencing.

Breathe in the grief of the Earth.

And on the out-breath,

Send her compassion.

Send her healing,

Send her love into all her hurting spaces.

Again,

Breathe in for the oceans and the rivers that are polluted and the scorched Earth.

And breathe out,

Showering her with healing and love.

Lastly,

We're going to exchange with everyone on the planet.

People,

Plants,

Animals,

All sentient beings.

All who are experiencing anger,

Resentment,

Fear,

Hatred.

Remembering that this can include you too.

Breathe in.

And on the exhale,

Offer everyone on the planet,

All sentient beings,

The gift of compassion.

Breathe in that fear.

Let it be cleansed through your heart and send out patience.

Again,

This time breathing in for those experiencing anger.

And on the exhale,

Offering them the gift of forgiveness.

One more time.

Breathing in for those feeling stuck in resentment.

On the exhale,

Offering them the gift of acceptance.

When we offer our love and compassion to those who are experiencing destructive emotions,

The emotions of hatred,

Ignorance,

And greed,

We heal both the perpetrator and the victim,

Radically,

At the root.

When we offer our understanding that hatred and anger are directed towards us,

It's just an expression of an unmet need or the expression of a skill that they don't have.

We're able to see with new eyes how that can be transformed.

The Buddhist mantra WUM THARE THU THARE THUDE SPAHA means I bow to you,

Compassionate one,

And put a blessing on it.

WUM THARE THU THARE THUDE SPAHA We're going to stay in this space for a little while,

Either in silence or repeating the mantra WUM THARE THU THARE THUDE SPAHA If you don't know the mantra,

That's okay.

Existing in the spirit of the mantra,

In being compassion,

Being compassionate,

Is the greatest way to honor and bow to the compassionate one.

WUM THARE THU THARE THUDE SPAHA WUM THARE THU THARE THUDE SPAHA Let's say it together a couple times.

WUM THARE THU THARE THUDE SPAHA WUM THARE THU THARE THUDE SPAHA WUM THARE THU THARE THUDE SPAHA WUM THARE is fine if you can't remember the whole thing.

Begin repeating WUM THARE THU THARE THUDE SPAHA to yourself.

When you hear my voice,

Just sit quietly with your eyes closed.

WUM THARE THU THARE THUDE SPAHA Sit gently with your eyes closed.

Letting go of the tonglen practice.

Letting go of the mantra.

WUM THARE THU THARE THUDE SPAHA Begin to bring your awareness back to this present moment.

Taking a deep breath in,

And letting that go.

Another deep breath in,

And let that go.

Begin to bring some movement into your body.

Wiggle your toes and your fingers.

Stretch your neck.

When you're ready,

You can slowly open your eyes.

Thank you for your practice.

Thank you for transforming your own anger.

The world is a better place for it.

How does it feel to be a conduit of love?

To abide in your true nature?

The fruit of any spiritual practice is compassion.

How does it feel to have the power to transform destructive emotions?

As you go about your day,

You can notice whenever someone is feeling agitated or angry.

Just quietly breathe in their anger and frustration,

And send them love,

Compassion,

And understanding.

See how that unfolds.