The Illusion Of Stress

Hello beautiful soul and welcome.

Today we are going to talk about stress and stress management.

I often feel like to describe stress as an illusion and people get a little bit confused because they think that I'm saying that stress doesn't exist.

But what I really want to say is that stress is an illusion and we give it power to exist.

Stress is a mind that repeats something in a cycle over and over and over like a CD that got stuck in play.

We have to understand that by thinking about something we are not doing anything for it.

It's not that by constantly thinking,

Oh my god I have to do this,

Oh my god I have to do that,

Oh my god my children,

Oh my god the lunch,

Oh my god my work,

Oh I have to do that,

Or thinking about oh my god it was so stressful today,

I had to do this,

I had to do that.

It's not that by doing this we're actually fixing something.

Learning detachment from events and situations is vital in order to destroy this illusion of stress.

I will make a couple of examples.

You work as a waitress and the restaurant is full.

Full at the point that you realize that you are actually less people than what is necessary to handle the situation.

And the salad,

The salad and lettuce,

It's finished and some people in different places,

In different tables are complaining for the salad.

A person that is too attached to the business will take on their shoulder responsibilities that are not theirs.

Individual A will feel the responsibility of fixing the problem.

It will feel the responsibility of running out of the restaurant,

Find enough license on something that is open and go and get some lettuce.

It will feel like running left and right to keep up with the amount of people that are presenting at the restaurant and they are clearly understaffed.

Person B would realize that it's not their responsibility.

He does not have to run more because they are running out of waitresses.

He will do what he can.

And if the salad is not there,

Well,

It's not the waitress responsibility.

So if a customer complains,

The waitress is not responsible for what's happening.

This is not its own business.

When it's about responsibilities that are of others,

We need to recognize when we are too good at the point that we become fool and foolish.

I can stress out about my children.

I can stress out about my health.

I cannot stress out about something that is not my responsibility.

I coach many people that they have this tendency of people pleasing,

Of constantly bending and doing more than what they are actually rewarded for.

Doing that extra miles for no money,

For no reason.

We cannot control everything.

And stress,

It's a way that society is telling us that everything must be under control.

We have to have the control of people,

Action,

Of situation,

Outcome of situations,

Expectation,

Results,

We put pressure and we easily freak out when things does not go our way.

And this is limiting.

It creates stress,

It creates stress and it creates a lot of tension.

And the brain enters a kind of loop.

We become addicted to this sensation.

And our body will enter like tantrums of behaviors,

Like children.

Our body will sit there and overthink and press play to the CD that will go in a loop over and over repeating the same thing.

And that will give us a sense of control.

Like,

Well,

I've been stressing out about it.

Like,

This is how the body reacts to give you the illusion that there is some sort of control.

You are focusing energy into those topics,

Into those areas,

Into those thoughts.

And so that gives you the illusion that you're actually doing something about it.

But the truth is that you are not.

Thinking about something is not changing anything.

It's not bringing you less stress,

It's not making things more easy,

It's not solving the situation.

What solves situation and issues are actions.

The mind is just a problem solving tool.

We have to use it when we have to find a solution and then the body will act out the solution that we found.

So we have to catch ourselves.

We have to become aware when we spiral down this stress tangent,

Like this path of going into desperation and overthinking and overworry and feeling what that actually creates energetically to our body.

If you will be able to become slowly,

Slowly more aware and conscious,

You will realize the incredible amount of frustrated energy that it's been radiating through your energetical field.

You will literally sense how bad is that energy,

That it's running up and down your spine and is making you feel anxiety,

Frustrations,

Worry,

Fear,

Impotence.

You will feel powerless.

And our mental energy,

It's quite limited.

And this is something that people have struggled to understand is that it's like having a wallet.

We have this amount of money inside.

This is the amount of energy that we have in our vessel.

And every thought we make and every action we make and every focus we give to different thing in our outer reality or inner reality,

It's costing money.

It's costing.

So every thought requires a certain amount of energy.

So how much energy are you actually wasting?

Because you are thinking about your mother,

Your father,

Your responsibilities,

Your children,

What to eat for dinner,

Your job,

Your past worries,

Your future worries,

Your present worries.

And then you ended up being absolute depressed and drained,

Depressed,

Sad and anxious.

And that is not because you are actually those things,

But you run out of battery.

You have not got,

You haven't got any energy left.

So stressing is an illusion because we choose how to react to those things.

We have the power to choose how much energy am I going to waste thinking about that,

Thinking about that,

Stressing about the other thing.

And how much do I have to carry worries for others or of others?

We have to become extremely selfish,

But is a good selfish.

I will not carry stress that is not mine.

I will not carry responsibility that I'm not paid for.

I will not stress about something that I cannot control.

I cannot believe that by repeating same thought in my head,

I'm actually doing something to fix it.

We have to become more aware of what we do with our mental energy,

Where we focus it on and how much we are wasting.

I have plenty of people that I coach that they literally have this energy and just overthink about everything in their life and then wonder why they are completely drained.

I have people that I've coached that they cannot say no to their boss,

To certain requests from the environment because they are not able to say no.

They cannot stop to please,

Even though they can clearly feel that they do not have enough energy for something or it's not their responsibility or they are not being paid for or it's too much to ask.

And it's important that we understand energy.

We can give to people when we have more than enough energy for ourselves.

When we have so much energy that it's overflowing out of our vessel,

We are so vital and jumping and full that we can help others.

We can overstand our energy.

We can take more than what we normally would.

But if we don't have enough energy for ourselves,

We must say no to anything else because we cannot barely even function for ourselves.

How can we function for others?

We have to become detached from this need of control,

Outcome of situation,

Action of people.

We have to stop creating our own script in our head for people or situation or outcome of situation and then get mad when they do not fit the script that we wrote in our head.

We have to learn that stress is an illusion that you willingly create.

So stress,

It's living in your head.

Stress is creating scenarios after scenarios in a repeating loop in your head.

Stress is a trauma response.

Stress is an illusion.

It's absolutely controllable.

It's absolutely possible to detoxify from stress.

It's possible to be addicted to stress.

We are always at our phone.

We are always smoking,

Social media indulging.

We are always creating more troubles than solution.

We are getting lost in scenarios in our head that we cannot actually fixing by thinking or imagining.

We take on stuff that is not ours.

We take on things that we are meant to say no to.

We are making thoughts in our head that are draining us of our precious life force energy.

We over mentalize.

We create a full life in our head and this is draining.

Take an elevator when you feel that you are in your head,

When you can catch yourself,

Giving power and focus to this illusion of stress and being up in your head.

Imagine you to be able to take an elevator and press a button and from your head you move down to your heart.

Feel the chatter left behind and you moving down to your heart space.

That is who you are.

That is the energy that you have to bathe in,

That you can swim in.

It's your heart.

It's an essence.

It's presence.

It's something.

It's a feeling.

It's a sensation.

There is no words.

There are no stories.

There are no faces.

There are no outcome.

There is no scenario.

It's just a presence.

And another aspect of stress that people often do not really consider is that stress get created when we are doing too much of the things that we don't actually like or we worry too much about things that we cannot actually control.

But also stress get created when we're doing too little because we can be overly stressed for a number of reasons but we also can be underly stressed that creates stress anyway because when we are not using our life force energy we are not putting it in things that make us feel alive,

Vital,

Fulfilled,

Excited,

Content,

Open.

Things that doesn't make us feel in expansion.

Then we create an underlying level of stress that can look like depression,

Malincony,

Sadness,

Frustration,

And we can be equally stressed when we are actually doing too little of the things that we really should do.

The things that really are important for us.

And we can also be stressed for doing too much but too much of the things that are not actually beneficial for our life.

So this is another point that people really need to be aware of.

Well,

Thank you so much for listening.

I hope you enjoyed this session that talks about stress and if you want me to make a course that goes more in details on how to actually create some healthy stress management let me know and I will do so.

I can do a course with different techniques and different methods.

In the meantime,

Enjoy this beautiful day and namaste.