Okay,
So how do you stay safe when you practice mindfulness?
And if you're new to this that might actually seem like a strange question You might wonder well,
What's not safe about practicing mindfulness?
But if we back up for a second and reflect again,
Wait,
What are we doing when we're practicing mindfulness?
Part of it is about meeting whatever's happening.
And of course some of our experiences are going to be uncomfortable stressful,
Frightening and it's possible that as we're learning to do that,
They can get too much for us.
You know,
I spoke before about experiential avoidance and how mindfulness is the antidote to experiential avoidance.
Well,
Of course there are good reasons that we do avoid painful and uncomfortable things.
It can be protective.
So mindfulness is not about going charging headlong into things.
But actually we can learn to do this with a real sense of care and even we could say respecting uncomfortable and difficult experiences so that we don't go charging in headlong or find ourselves overwhelmed by what's happening.
But at the same time,
Step by step,
Piece by piece,
We can learn to open up to things so that we actually get the benefits.
And so one model that can be helpful in terms of how to explore all of this safely is called the Comfort Challenge Overwhelm model.
And so I'll take you through these three so you can get a bit of a sense of the territory of how to navigate mindfulness and stay safe as you're doing that.
And so with the Comfort Challenge Overwhelm model,
The first part is comfort and this is about recognizing that we have experiences and situations and contexts where we feel really comfortable and we can really rest and recharge ourselves.
So this is actually a really helpful thing to be able to do and that is part of mindfulness.
You know,
One of the dimensions of mindfulness is what I like to call how to rest your mind and something like mindfulness of breathing is a good example of this.
Learning to connect with something that is restful might also be something like feeling your feet on the floor that helps to calm you down.
You can rest your mind with it and it supports a sense of grounding and resting and calming and steadying.
And so this is a really important and helpful part of mindfulness.
It in a sense strengthens us.
But you might already have a sense you can't live there with everything always comfortable.
Part of life is always going to be uncomfortable.
And so mindfulness also involves the second piece,
Which is the challenge part of mindfulness.
Learning to open up to things that are uncomfortable,
That are challenging.
But when we have a sense we have enough capacity to do that,
You know,
We can do that without it freaking us out or overwhelming us.
And whilst it might be uncomfortable,
We still have a sense of being grounded and open.
We have enough resource to be able to meet what's happening and have a sense of flexibility,
A sense that we have some agency and choice in the process.
And this is really helpful.
This is where a lot of emotional healing takes place in this learning to open up to what's happening.
So you've got the comfort dimension,
You've got the challenge part of this,
And then there's the overwhelm.
Recognizing that there at times may be experiences that are too much for us.
We don't have the capacity to meet them and have any sense of spaciousness or groundedness or just having a basic sense that we know what we can do.
It's all too much for us.
And in terms of navigating the overwhelm part of this,
There are two parts to that.
The first is becoming familiar with this,
Actually learning to recognize,
Oh,
I'm overwhelmed.
And there are some simple symptoms that you can be on the lookout for.
Some of these are about what's called being hyper aroused,
A kind of physical,
Emotional,
Mental arousal that is too much for you.
It might be heart beating or sweating or restlessness,
Could be disordered,
Chaotic thinking,
Or emotions that simply feel like they're too much for you.
And this is not that everything uncomfortable in that domain is to be avoided,
But learning,
Oh no,
This is too much for me.
Or it can go the other way,
Actually,
And we can shut down,
Numb out,
In a sense,
Switch off.
And in a way that's distressing.
So this is not sort of run of the mill,
Mind wandering or snoozing a little bit.
But again,
We can learn to recognize this.
And once we've identified,
Oh,
I'm overwhelmed,
Then knowing the simple things that we can do to take care of ourselves and in a sense to regulate ourselves.
And as you're exploring mindfulness,
Some of the simple options you have.
The first one is you could guide your attention to something that's more comfortable.
So for example,
If you're exploring an emotion,
Say something like anxiety,
You might feel that in your chest,
For example.
And then you have a sense,
Okay,
This is too much.
You could guide your attention to the soles of your feet,
For example.
Another thing you could do is if your eyes are closed,
You could allow them to open.
That actually supports a sense of spaciousness.
When our eyes are closed,
Our inner world intensifies.
So eyes open is one possibility.
Or you could move your body in a way that feels comfortable.
Sometimes people feel a bit stuck with mindfulness,
Almost a sense that they're not allowed to move.
And actually that's not true at all.
So you could move your body in a way that's comfortable,
Or you could get up and do something else.
The real thing here is learning to identify when you're overwhelmed and knowing the choices that you have.
And also appreciating that all of these,
The comfort,
The challenge,
The overwhelm,
They're all part of the territory of learning mindfulness.
So it's not that things are going wrong if some challenge or overwhelm is happening,
Or it has to always be comfortable.
And this is,
In a sense,
Part of life,
Isn't it?
And so it can be helpful to,
In a sensible and straightforward way,
To actually engage with this territory and learn how you can navigate it.
And also remembering that you don't have to do this on your own.
So remembering that piece of how to enjoy mindfulness,
That connection can be part of the learning process.
