Letting Go | Ven Canda

Tonight's talk is a little bit more on the profound side about letting go,

Which is one of the most profound and perhaps hard to grasp concepts.

Ha ha,

Hard to grasp letting go.

That's terrible,

Isn't it?

And yet it's the whole thrust of the path.

It's the whole movement and inclination of the path,

The whole movement of the mind that gradually step-by-step takes us into these deep states.

So the Buddha said,

Rosagaramana prithva labhatisamadim labhati cittaikagata And that means that if one makes the main object or the main inclination,

The general thrust,

The general sort of inclination of the mind,

One of letting go,

One of giving up,

Renouncing,

Giving things away,

Giving things up,

The most important thing,

Then one easily stills the mind.

I was gonna say gains,

But really it's about settling the mind and one's mind becomes cittaikagata.

It means like one pointed.

Sometimes Ajahn Brahm describes it as one-peekedness because the word aga can be a peak.

And if it's ekagata,

It's like gone to oneness.

So whether it's the mind in one point or the mind at one peak,

It basically refers to the states of Jhana and deep Samadhi.

So what is this letting go and where does the Buddha talk about it?

So the first most obvious place is in the Eightfold Noble Path,

Again,

Under the second factor of right attitude or intention.

And in there it's called renunciation nekama.

And this is what Ajahn Brahm translates in his little catchphrase,

Make peace,

Be kind,

Be gentle.

So these are the three right intentions.

Make peace is the renunciation.

Be kind is the non-ill will and be gentle is the non-harming of those three right intentions.

So making peace suggests that we're not just throwing something out through aversion or through ill will or pushing something away,

But we're actually following a different pathway in our mind,

A pathway that leads away from suffering and inclines towards peace.

And of course that is,

Moving towards peace means a gradual emptying out of the mind of all the burdens that weigh us down.

First we start with the past and the future.

We clear the mind of those concerns.

We throw them out,

We let them go and peace deepens as a result.

And then the second place is in the Third Noble Truth.

So the truth,

First Noble Truth for those who are not so familiar with Buddhism,

The First Noble Truth is that the truth that there is suffering.

And suffering is an intrinsic part of life,

Really inseparable from life.

And there's a cause of suffering.

And there's a way to end that cause.

There's a way to abandon the cause.

That's the Third Noble Truth.

And the Buddha in that Third Noble Truth talks about these four different ways of letting go.

And the first one is Chaga,

Which literally means giving or giving away,

Giving up.

And I really love this one.

It's one of my favorites in the actual practice because for me giving carries a sense of warmth as well.

It's not just chucking something out kind of carelessly or coldly.

It actually has this quality of being able to hand something over.

And sometimes when I meditate,

I start to watch the breath.

And if my mind is maybe a little tight or I notice there's a sense of self in there,

I just say,

Okay,

I'm gonna give this.

I'm gonna give this meditation session.

I'm even gonna give this breath to the Buddha.

This is my gift to the Buddha.

I just sit here and I just give.

And then the whole inclination is not about trying to attain something for myself.

It's about giving for the sake of giving something away.

Ajahn Liam said in his meditation,

Apparently when he was,

Had quite a breakthrough in his practice,

He's another senior monk in the Thai first tradition,

Who Ajahn Brahm respects quite a lot.

And he was meditating and he said,

You just meditate for the sake of meditating.

That's all without wanting to get anything.

And he had this experience where just that perception led to a very deep state of stillness and tranquility.

He said it was as though everything became cool right there.

It all cooled right down.

And it must've been a very deep state because after that he said that the farmers didn't resurface.

So I don't know if they never resurfaced or for how long they didn't resurface,

But clearly there was a strong momentum of letting go and just giving,

Giving away,

Giving the practice over just for the sake of practice without any expectation of result.

So that's the key to real giving.

You give without expecting in return.

Yeah,

And metta is a type of giving,

Of course.

That's why I love metta practice too.

And then the second of those noble,

Of the third noble truth,

The second method is called pati nisaga.

And this does mean more like throwing away,

Abandoning.

It's Ajahn Brahm's simile of going up in a hot air balloon and finding that you're too weighted down by the basket and by the ballast in that balloon.

And so to go higher,

You ask yourself,

What else can I throw out?

What else can I give away?

What else can I abandon?

And sometimes when I'm practicing,

I just ask the mind,

What can I abandon?

And I love doing this because it's not a thought that disturbs the mind.

It's just a thought that sort of directs the mind to notice where it's still holding on.

And sometimes that abandoning can be as subtle as just the mind is too close to an experience that's unpleasant and it's kind of got stuck there,

You know?

And I say,

What can I abandon?

And it's like the hand just relaxes.

This hand of awareness or whatever it might be,

Just goes ah,

And gives something more space.

So you can ask,

What can I abandon?

And tonight we might start the meditation by just reflecting on what we've already abandoned to notice that there is some letting go,

Some spaciousness there.

We also have to abandon everything we've ever been taught or heard or kind of expect to happen in the meditation.

And one nice thing during my,

I might've told you this already,

But one nice thing during my three months Reins Retreat was that I realized that expecting something to happen is one type of expectation,

But sometimes expecting things not to happen is just the same.

Because you're letting your past experience of whether you have or haven't had success,

You're trying to condition what you may or may not experience now.

And if you expect not to go deep,

Or if you expect that this meditation won't really work because it's only 10 minutes,

Then you're actually kind of overlaying your own knowledge without any real knowledge over the present experience.

It's like you're trying to second guess what's gonna happen.

And how on earth do you know?

What causes you have in there?

You don't know all the work you've done in the past.

Not only this life,

Maybe previous lives too.

And then the third type is called Mutti.

And that literally means freeing,

Freeing the mind.

And I don't wanna use all the same words as Ajahn Brahm,

But one way you can understand freedom is like freedom from being controlled and also the freedom not to control,

Not to control a process.

So can we be so free that we're just able to be content?

Can we be free not to want anything more?

You know,

Normally we think of freedom as getting more,

You know,

Acquiring more,

Getting more happiness,

But can we be so free that we're just okay with where we're at?

You know,

Can we be free to be average?

We don't have to be like the star meditator in the Zoom room.

Can we just be okay to be the way we are?

That's a real freedom.

It's such a relief when you realise actually what I have,

What I am already is more than good enough.

And then the last one is Analia.

And that literally means like no resting place,

No place for the defilement to take hold.

And a nice simile for that is like a bird that's like left its perch and it started to emigrate somewhere a long way off.

And the momentum of the flight takes that bird a long,

Long way,

But after a while it gets tired and there's nowhere to land.

It's over the ocean.

It just cannot settle down.

And in the same way,

You know,

When we have less and less of a sense of self,

Things can arise in the mind.

Things can arise in our experience,

But there isn't really anything for them to stick to.

There's this lovely story in the suttas about one of the Buddha's chief disciples,

The Venerable Sariputta.

And he was renowned for his wisdom being on a par with the Buddha himself.

So the Buddha referred to him as his son,

Basically.

Great Arahant in the time of the Buddha.

And one day he was on arms round and there was this kind of demon or kind of some sort of invisible being decided to play with him.

And he came up behind the Venerable Sariputta to test him out.

And he came and he just went all whack on his back and really gave him a massive thump.

And Sariputta barely moved.

I don't think he even turned his head.

He just carried on walking full of grace and said,

Oh,

What was that?

That was it.

There was no identification.

There was no,

My goodness,

Who could do that to me?

Don't they know that I'm the senior disciple of the Buddha?

None of that,

You know,

There was just this like,

There was no place for it to actually hit.

It was just simply a feeling.

It wasn't my feeling.

It wasn't even an unpleasant feeling necessarily,

Or at least not one that could really take hold and cause suffering in his mind.

And in a similar way,

The less of a sense of self that there is,

The less the karma of the past can stick.

The Buddha said that if we develop the Brahma Viharas,

These states of love and kindness,

Compassion,

Joy,

And equanimity,

The mind becomes limitless.

It becomes vast.

And at that time,

There's no,

Let me just actually find the quote because then I can make sure I get it exactly right.

So he says that when the liberation of mind is developed in this way,

That is through the four Brahma Viharas,

No limiting comer remains there,

None persists there.

Just as a vigorous trumpeter could make them self heard without difficulty in the four quarters of the universe,

So too when the liberation of mind by equanimity and the other Brahma Viharas is developed in this way,

No limiting action remains there,

None persists there.

So it's almost like Mara can't find you,

Like things that have a root of craving and ill will can't really manifest in those states because the mind is so abundant and exalted and vast.

There's another stimuli that likens this to putting a salt crystal in a big lake,

In a huge lake.

And this is a little bit like when unpleasant effects from previous actions surface in a mind that is vast,

You can't taste that salt.

But if that salt would be put in a glass of water,

Especially a small glass of water,

And that refers to a mind which is maybe quite brittle,

Quite edgy,

Maybe very angry or tired,

Then that salt is really noticeable,

It's very,

Very strong.

So this is what it's like if one has done a lot of unwholesome actions.

Any other further wholesome action will just make the mind even more dirty and horrible.

But if your mind is really,

Really clean and clear,

Then a few mistakes aren't going to have a huge impact in the same way.

It's like all your wholesome qualities smother those unwholesome ones,

A little bit like what Ajahn Brahm said with watering the flowers and not the weeds.

So all of these types of ways of letting go are really deepened and strengthened as we develop our understanding of non-self.

Yeah,

So they're based on the understanding of non-self,

On understanding that we don't own this body and mind.

And in the Anattalakkhana Sutta,

In the Samyutta Nikaya,

The Buddha said that if this body,

If feelings,

If perceptions,

Consciousness and will,

If they were ours,

Then we should be able to say,

Oh,

Let them be this way,

Let them not be that way.

And they wouldn't lead to affliction.

But because they are not ours,

We can't say,

Oh,

May I only experience pleasant sensations?

May I not experience unpleasant sensations,

Right?

May my body always be healthy.

May my body not get sick.

We can't say that because they're out of our control.

And the more we realise that these phenomena,

They go according to cause and effect,

They go according to their own nature,

Not according to our wants,

The less sense it makes to try to control them.

It's like you're trying to control the wind.

You know,

Or there's like some kind of,

Like the wind blowing all these leaves up into the air and you're trying to catch them.

It's impossible.

You know,

They're going according to the force behind them.

So the more we realise this,

The less we control those things that are not possible to control.

And instead we can start to put our attention again in these areas of letting go and these areas of right intention,

Right ways of relating to experience,

The places that we do have some ability to influence,

Yeah,

And to cultivate.

So we,

Again,

It all comes back every time to knowing the path is a way of learning to relate wisely to experience,

Rather than to try to accumulate certain types of experience,

Which we can never do.

You know,

We can spend our whole life trying to fix everything up in the outside world to be just the way we want it.

And even if you're successful for a while,

Eventually you're gonna have to let it go at the time of death,

If not earlier,

Right?

Even the most perfect relationships end in separation or in change.

You know,

They go through their different phases.

And this is not to say that we shouldn't have relationships,

We're relational beings,

But nothing can be permanent or lasting.

You know,

No matter how beautiful,

No matter how pure,

I still have to let go of Ajahn Brahm one day,

Which is not very nice thought,

But you know,

Was he ever mine?

That's a great delusion.

I say my teacher,

But he's not my teacher.

He's just going according to his conditions.

For me,

He's just become the dumber.

That's how I relate to him.

And yet still,

As long as we kind of are not free from this sense of self,

We do attach to people and things,

And we consider them ours.

So the more we can start to contemplate,

You know,

That if these phenomenal really did belong to us,

Then they would be here always for us.

We'd have some kind of ability to control them,

But we can see in our own experience how things arise and pass and rise and pass relentlessly,

Right,

By day,

By night,

Arising,

Passing.

And you know,

For some of us perhaps,

Who've practiced vipassana in different traditions where you really focus on this phenomena,

Arising and passing,

Which I did for many years,

You really start to see that there's hardly even a pause between the two.

It's just as soon as something arises,

It's gone.

It's lightning speed,

You know,

And that's not even the depth of impermanence.

As Ajahn Brahm said,

The depth of impermanence is when even that arising,

Passing ceases.

Even the container,

The five khandhas within which you're observing things arise and pass,

Even they disappear.

And that's the real anicca,

That's the real vanishing act.

So we let go little by little.

I wanted to say that just to end,

Because like anything in this path,

It's a gradual training and we shouldn't just rush straight in.

And also that the,

Not the carrot exactly,

But in a way,

The allure of it is the happiness that you get in return.

So Ajahn Chah famously said,

If you let go a little,

You'll get a little peace.

If you let go a lot,

You'll get a lot of peace.

And if you let go completely,

You'll get complete peace.

It's not really that you will get it,

But there will be complete peace in the place of all this selfing and attaching and holding on to things that we simply don't control.

So we look for that peace.

And this can be the guide in all of the practice.

As the Buddha said to Mahapajapati,

Got to me the first bhikkhuni and his paternal aunt.

He said that any dharma that leads towards peace,

That leads towards disentanglement,

Towards fading,

Towards cessation and nibbana,

Towards knowledge,

Towards enlightenment knowledge,

You can know for sure,

That's the dharma and the vinaya taught by the Buddha.

So whatever you do,

Whichever way you incline your mind,

See if you can just gently incline deeper and deeper towards peace.

So there's much more I could say as usual,

But it's time for some meditation.

So please settle yourselves and we'll try and do it a little bit more lightly guided tonight.

So as usual,

Caring for your body.

When the body feels cared for,

It feels able to relax.

You're ending business with the body.

As though tucking a child into bed.

One of my friends came to her first meditation retreat and she has three sons growing up now.

At the start of her meditation,

She used to just treat her body the way she'd settle a child to sleep.

She noticed from her children that if she didn't settle them properly,

They'd wake up later and disturb her in the night.

But if she settled them,

She could go off and do other things.

So take the time to care for your body,

Spreading that loving awareness through each and every limb.

Knowing you can't control this physical body,

But what you can always do is to care.

You don't have so long together,

So.

.

.

See if you can care for it while it's with you.

I'm just inviting you to take a few moments to notice some of the things that you've already put down.

Any of the concerns,

The little tasks or duties that you did throughout the day.

Visual impressions of the day.

For most of us,

The sun has set.

So all those forms have subdued.

Nothing more to do outside.

Now you've entered this simple room in which you're sitting in,

Which is empty of the house,

The streets,

The office.

See if you can notice the freedom of that simplicity,

The peace of having abandoned so much.

See if you can see the freedom of being in the room.

See if you can see the freedom of being in the room.

And gently,

Slowly,

Noticing the mind coming into the centre of time.

Poised in the moment.

Noticing the perception of now.

The reality of past and future.

The reality of past and future.

The reality of past and future.

Noticing if there's anything you don't really need.

Perhaps perceptions,

Thoughts from the past,

Plans for the future,

Limiting self-beliefs.

See how much you can abandon.

As you move more and more closely into the centre of time.

See how much you can abandon.

Enjoying the peace and the silence.

Noticing the perception of now.

Not controlling what arises.

Your thoughts arise,

They're not me,

Not mine.

They're just visitors coming by.

Noticing due to conditions,

Passing away when those causes cease.

Noticing the perception of now.

Noticing the perception of now.

Noticing the perception of now.

Deep breath arises.

This too is not mine.

Deep breath arising due to causes.

Each breath could be the last.

One passes away,

You don't know when the next will come.

See if there can be a resting at the end of the out breath.

A gradual deepening of release.

Noticing the perception of now.

Noticing the perception of now.

Noticing the perception of now.

Noticing the perception of now.

Noticing the perception of now.

Noticing the perception of now.

Noticing the perception of now.

Noticing the perception of now.

Noticing the perception of now.

Noticing the perception of now.

Noticing the perception of now.

Noticing the perception of now.

Noticing the perception of now.

Noticing the perception of now.

Noticing the perception of now.

Coming close to the end of the meditation.

I'd like to invite you to just listen to the words that I'll say next.

And just see if you can let go into the direction that those words are pointing to.

In the direction of peace.

Peace.

Peace.

Peace.

Peace.

Peace.

Peace.

How do you feel now?

How do you sense peace within yourself?

You notice there's a little more peace.

Maybe a lot more peace.

When you began the meditation.

So,

How did that happen?

What did you give away?

So,

If you wish to gently come back to the feeling of the body sitting.

Locating yourself in time and space.

Noticing the hands on the knees or in the lap.

The shins,

The thighs,

The bum on the floor.

Or maybe the feet on the ground if you're in a chair.

You might wish to gently stretch your back,

Roll your shoulders.

Perhaps loosen or stretch your neck.

Sensing the space around you in your little room or large room.

Feeling safe.