A Brief Guide To Saying Goodbye

Hi,

I'm Emily and welcome to this series on managing transitions with grace.

In these sessions,

I'll teach you how to work with your awareness and stay steady and balanced during transitions.

This is the second session in the series and it's one in which we will work on accepting what it means to say goodbye.

To leave something behind is something that's not often looked at in modern life.

So many of us end up accumulating possessions,

Tasks,

Experiences,

And identities until we're ready to burst at the seams.

But when we're going through any transition in life,

There's always the need to let go of something,

To say goodbye and open up space for something new.

But saying goodbye can be both painful and poignant.

So in this session,

We're going to practice saying goodbye to the old and letting go of the energy burden of what we've been carrying with us.

Hopefully you'll feel lighter and more at peace with saying goodbye after this practice.

So let's just start by settling in and beginning to relax.

Make sure that whatever posture you're in,

However you're holding your body,

Whether you're sitting or lying down,

Your body should be comfortable and without any pain or pressure,

If possible.

Now gently close your eyes and become aware of how you're breathing in and breathing out.

And just rest.

Breathe gently in and slowly exhale.

Bring your attention to your body and notice if there's any place that's tense or tight.

Let your forehead release tension.

Let your eyelids be heavy.

Relax your cheeks and your jaw and drop your shoulders down.

Feel your arms resting without any effort at all.

Take a deep breath in and with the exhale,

Let any remaining bit of tension leave your body.

Now let's set an intention for the session.

You can pick your own or you can say to yourself,

My intention is to let go of whatever I'm hanging onto that no longer serves me.

Rest gently for a moment and let the feeling of this intention sink deeply into you.

Whenever you're ready,

Start to become aware of the energy that runs through you and extends a little bit beyond your body,

Which we call your awareness.

Now we're going to use our awareness to work on saying goodbye and letting go of what needs to be let go.

So with a focus on your awareness,

Bring whatever is the goodbye that you intend to work with and bring it to mind and just hold it there.

Hold it into your awareness.

And remember,

If this feels overwhelming at all,

You can always take a pause and continue whenever you're ready.

Wise can sometimes bring up a lot of emotions,

Almost in a burst or surge when we bring them to mind.

And that's because holding onto something takes a lot of energy and it carries an emotional charge.

So now just notice if you feel emotional and focus on just breathing through it.

Focus on your breath and let your body gently respond.

It's a very gentle and slow process.

So now that you've centered a little bit and you've become aware of the goodbye and are holding it in your awareness,

Decide to let all of that energy that's behind this goodbye flow through and process itself out.

If this particular issue has come up for you,

It's because it serves your highest good to go through the process of recognizing it and letting go of this energy.

Now imagine yourself,

If you'd like,

Saying goodbye or letting go,

Whatever that looks like for you,

And you can let the emotions come up very gently and very slowly.

As an emotion arises,

Notice any particular response in your body.

Sometimes this process can bring up tears or sensations behind the eyeballs or a feeling in the throat.

Whatever happens,

Just notice it.

It's your own way of processing this.

Pay attention to the sensations in your body as the energy of the goodbye surfaces and flows through you.

It's okay to have any type of experience with this.

It's okay to weep or to want to drop your head,

And if you want to,

You can move your body in any way that feels good for you.

Remember there's no need to label any of the emotions as they come up.

All we do here is focus on the actual sensations of having them.

Thoughts might also come up or stories that we have in our heads that are related to these energies and that's okay.

They don't really mean anything.

If thoughts arise,

Just let them go and continue to keep the more energetic experience of the emotions right centered in your awareness.

Continue to focus your awareness on letting the emotions arise without labeling them,

Without resisting them,

And without paying attention to any thoughts about them.

Just continue for a few moments more.

As you get the hang of letting these emotions arise and letting the energies run through you without avoiding them or resisting them,

You'll start to notice that things are going to lighten up.

Things are going to feel lighter and less heavy because the energy is rising.

Continue to let the emotions process through your energy until things feel lighter and notice how this lightening feels in your body.

You might feel more relaxed.

Maybe you breathe more easily.

Every one of us has our own unique experience processing these energies.

Notice in your awareness how it feels to hold something like saying goodbye very lightly.

It doesn't have to be heavy and sometimes there can be even a feeling of neutrality or a sense of acceptance and your mind might feel more centered and your breathing might feel more steady.

Whatever's arising for you,

It's totally okay.

It's the truth of your own unique experience.

So just rest for a few moments more,

Noticing whatever arises for you.

Now begin to bring your awareness back from emotional processing to being more engaged in the mind.

Imagine yourself again saying goodbye or letting go and if there's more that needs to come up that's okay or you might notice a sense of equanimity around letting go.

Slowly gently imagine yourself bathed in light.

You're exquisitely comfortable and things are just as they need to be.

Maybe a smile comes to your lips.

Whatever it is,

You feel very content and at peace.

Having let go,

Having said goodbye,

You've always been and still are completely whole.

Rest gently in this feeling of wholeness and give yourself some time to integrate the work you've just done.

Let any last bittersweet remnants gently,

Slowly melt away and you're left with clarity and with energy,

A sense of ease and openness.

Take one last moment to indulge in this sense of ease and possibility and you can finish up whenever you're ready.

As we close this practice,

You may say to yourself,

I trust in myself to let go when needed and I know that being open to my own experience will serve me.

Remember,

You can always come back to this practice and this meditation if you need to.

I've been grateful for comments on these meditations and I'd love to hear about your experience.

So thank you for joining me and if it feels right to you,

Please let me know what came up for you and how you feel now.

I hope to see you back here soon.