What does it mean to be present and how do you do it?
In the Torah portion Parshat Miketz,
Yosef gives us a map for making our journey into the space of the present moment.
Because in this space effort drops away,
We can stop trying to be present and instead allow presence to reveal itself.
How do you do that?
That's what we'll explore in this episode of the Torah of Awakening Jewish Meditation podcast on Parshat Miketz with a guided meditation based on the Hebrew letter Ayin.
I'm your host Rabbi Brian Yosef Schakter-Brooks.
Enjoy.
Okay so this verse we're looking at says,
Vaya'an Yosef et Paro.
Joseph answered Pharaoh,
Lamar,
Saying,
Bil'adai,
It is beyond me.
Elohim ya'anei et shalom paro.
God will give Pharaoh peace with an answer.
This is normally translated as God will give his answer but I think the Hebrew is interesting that it says ya'anei et shalom.
Shalom is like shalom.
So God is answering Paro with shalom and it can mean peace but it can also mean completeness.
And so it's a nice Hebrew idiom that Joseph is saying here that Pharaoh's dis-ease with not knowing the meaning of his dream will be eased and he will have peace through an answer that will come from the divine.
There is a story of Rabbi Moshe of Sassov that once during Hanukkah he came to the Beit Midrash to find some of his students playing checkers.
When they saw their Rebbe they were embarrassed and started putting the game away.
No,
Keep on playing,
Said Reb Moshe.
You know you can learn three important things from the game of checkers.
First,
You can only make one move at a time.
Second,
You can only go forward and not backward.
And yet,
Lastly,
When you get to the last row you can move in any direction you want.
While it's true that life is complex and there are many steps one must take to accomplish things,
It's also true that in any given moment you can only do the step that you're on.
This is so obvious and yet because we have the power to envision our next steps,
To imagine the future,
The mind tends to dwell in the imagination of the future.
The present is often approached merely as a stepping stone towards something else.
And this creates a feeling of separation from this moment,
A disconnection from reality in a sense.
This in turn can produce a feeling of incompleteness and a belief that fulfillment lies somewhere in the future.
The remedy for this feeling of incompleteness is to remember you can only make one move at a time.
Bringing your attention to simply see the move you are now making liberates your consciousness from its imprisonment in the world of thought and its imagined future.
We can see this and we can try this right now.
So,
Shifting perspective to see this moment.
Seeing of course is a metaphor,
We mean perceiving,
We mean feeling,
We mean noticing,
We mean taking in whatever is present.
What happens when we do this?
What kind of shift becomes available to us?
You may notice a bit more space around your thoughts,
Space around your feelings.
And yet there also might be the arising of something that draws you into the past.
What if while we are simply seeing and feeling thoughts of regret arise about the past?
What if you feel pulled into a painful dwelling on what could have been?
To this the teaching answers.
We must also see this simple truth that you can only go forward and not backward.
You can only go forward and not backward.
Accepting the past and moving on doesn't mean you have to somehow push away the feelings of regret.
That would just be more resistance to the present.
Instead,
Simply see that they are there.
Feel the feelings.
Accept what thoughts and feelings are arising and let them dissolve of their own accord.
Dissolving into the light of consciousness that you are.
Everything that arises is part of the complete texture of the present.
Don't resist.
And in this act of simply seeing this moment without resistance,
There can be the realization that in fact you have arrived.
There is nowhere else to go because you're always right here.
At that point,
You've reached the end of the game.
You can move in any direction you want.
And this means that you can think about the future or the past and not get caught by them,
Because they all arise in the open space of the present.
The eternal now has come to the foreground as the presence that permeates all things.
This quality of inner freedom is embodied by Yosef.
Pharaoh asks him to interpret his disturbing dream,
But Yosef says,
Bil'adai Elohim ya'anei.
It is beyond me,
But God will answer.
This short phrase is a code for this teaching.
Bil'adai.
It is beyond me,
Meaning the future is beyond me.
There is only this moment.
Whatever will be,
Will be.
Elohim,
God,
Refers to the fact that we cannot go back and change the past.
Whatever has been is the divine will,
We might say,
Which is another way of saying it already is.
It is beyond anything that we can alter or shift or change or improve.
It already is.
The only right relationship we can have with the past is total surrender.
And finally,
Ya'anei,
God will answer.
In other words,
See that this now is God's speech.
This is the ultimate fruit of spirituality,
The recognition of divinity everywhere.
When we rest in seeing the miracle of this moment,
There need not be any strained effort in trying to be present,
Or in trying to let go of the past,
Because the movements of the mind are no longer charged,
No longer motivated by grabbing after fulfillment.
Rather,
We become the seeing.
We become the seeing.
Or,
More precisely,
We know ourselves as God's seeing through our eyes.
It's not the me that sees,
It's reality itself beholding itself.
This me-da,
Of beholding,
Of seeing,
Of perceiving,
Is represented by the letter ayin.
And so,
We can do the pose for ayin,
Bringing our hands to frame our eyes,
And in doing so,
Bringing that attention to attention itself,
To the perception.
And the Kavanah,
Chanting the affirmation,
I am seeing,
I am perceptive,
I am perception.
One more time,
Settling into feeling the vibration of the words in your body.
Describing God as the one that removes sleep from my eyes and slumber from my eyelids.
Bringing to mind the recognition that this ability to wake up,
To recognize what is in this moment,
To experience the slipping away of the confinement of ego,
That inner constriction,
To be that freedom of spaciousness that is awareness,
That is your nature.
And having thanks,
Appreciation,
And gratitude for that.
Shena me'enai,
Hama Shena me'enai,
Here Shena me'enai,
Here Shena me'enai,
Shena me'enai,
Checking the sense of your body in space,
Letting yourself be relaxed,
Comfortable,
In a position conducive to stillness,
But not too relaxed,
Not letting yourself sink down in your chair,
But rather feeling that alignment,
Like a cord pulling the head up into the heavens,
So your back can be relatively straight,
And using some bit of energy to sit up,
Rather than slumping down.
Bringing your right hand to your heart,
And taking this attitude of generously offering your attention to fully receive,
To fully behold whatever is arising within your attention,
Expressing with lecha,
And a long out-breath,
Deep breath in,
Bringing your left hand to your belly,
Feeling awareness dropping down,
Filling your belly with consciousness,
Permeating your organs,
Flowing down through your legs,
Down into the earth,
Rising up chest,
Upper back,
Shoulders and neck,
Flowing down arms,
Hands and fingers,
Connecting back with your heart and belly,
Bringing your attention more deeply into the flow of your breathing,
Letting your breathing deepen,
Become a bit more slow,
Making it conscious rather than automatic,
Resting awareness on the flow of the breath,
Face,
Facial muscles,
Brain and nervous system,
Bringing a little smile to your lips,
Being that loving,
Benevolent,
Indwelling presence,
Na'ase,
Deep breath in,
And bringing right hand to lightly touch your forehead as awareness opens up into the space around you,
Taking in the world as it appears in this moment,
And recognizing that all of it,
The outer world,
The inner world,
Thoughts and feelings,
Sensory perception,
All arising within the space of consciousness,
And you are that space,
You are this field of awareness,
This v'nishma,
Deep breath in,
Kissing your fingers,
Relaxing your hands,
Help us to meditate deeply and powerfully,
Help us to let go of the flow of thoughts,
Resting the thinking mind in the vibration of the tefillah,
You who are not separate from anything that appears,
You who are not separate from this awareness within which it appears,
You are Hashem,
You are the divine,
You are truth,
You are reality,
And closing the meditation,
Bringing some movement to your body,
Making a nice stretch.
In this time of Chanukah,
Of the ritual of bringing forth light,
May this sacred tool be ever available to us,
To be able to notice the light of awareness and behind whatever it is we're doing,
Whatever happens to be happening in the moment,
That we can have that basic intention beneath it all,
To bring forth that kavanah of the ayin,
To be the seeing,
To be the awareness.
Shalom.
I hope you've enjoyed this Torah of Awakening.
I'm Rabbi Brian Yosef Schachter-Brooks.
Until next time,
All blessings.
