What Other People Think Of You (5 Of 5)

So,

Welcome to this stain number five of five with the topic which is what other people think of you.

It's been crazy five days and it's been crazy five days because I've,

When I do these things it's like I go into this process myself and I just let it go,

Whatever arises.

I'm trying not to have any filter,

I'm trying to be as transparent and as honest as possible,

Practicing just sharing what is actually arising and what it does to me.

Now there's 28 seconds left before we start the next live and that's what you're going to be listening to for the next while,

Approximately half an hour,

45 minutes.

So I'm just going to close my eyes and remind myself why I'm doing this.

And it is to develop and have as important an impact as I can on the lives of other people and my own generations come with love.

Three,

Two,

One and we are live.

Okay,

Okay.

Let's see who is out there.

There's at least one familiar face so far.

Lots of familiar faces.

Hello Sandra.

Hello Kate.

Hello guys.

Good morning,

Good morning.

Good morning,

Good morning,

Good morning.

I couldn't find my glasses this morning so you're going to get the version without glasses.

Actually I started wearing glasses when I was like 13 I guess,

13 years.

And I've been skateboarding,

As I mentioned,

A couple of times since I was 13 years old.

So wearing glasses wasn't that good of a combination.

I had to get those bars behind the ears because my glasses would just fly away.

Good morning Ian,

Good morning Elena,

Claudia,

Good morning.

Diane,

Scarlett,

Vienna,

Good morning everybody.

So good to be back.

So many things to share still.

The dip was actually quite awesome.

My wife took this picture of me that I'll just share with you guys.

She's a really good photographer.

She's not professional,

But she just loves it.

She caught this one.

Let me see if I can show it.

Oh,

Oops.

Wait a second.

And there we go.

So yes,

That is ice around me and it was amazing.

I don't know if any of you guys.

.

.

Morgan,

Happy birthday in two days.

Do any of you guys,

You know,

Winter bath,

Do you use cold exposure?

What do you say,

Winter bathing?

Winter bathing,

Yeah.

How I did it?

Well,

It's actually.

.

.

Let me just share this stuff with the cold exposure just for a little bit.

As I mentioned several times,

What I'm really.

.

.

I really want to take what I experienced in the meditation room,

In the psychotherapy room and all these things and integrate it into my own life.

Because I just realized I don't want to be scared anymore.

I don't want to fear anymore.

I don't want to have that completely limiting anxiety and the panic attacks.

I shared a bit about my background the other days.

I just didn't want to be victimized anymore.

And I did understand that I'm creating this and I wanted to flip it.

And flipping it is something that we're going to work on today.

So why am I doing these cold exposures?

I stumbled upon this guy called Wim Hof,

W-I-M and Hof,

H-O-F,

Who's called the Iceman.

And I was just so intrigued by him because I love the stuff where people do something which is out of the ordinary and which is so basic.

I mean,

All of you could get in the cold water for 10 minutes,

But we just don't want to because the panic will arise.

So what I started playing with in my mind,

Also learning this guy,

Tim Ferriss,

Which you might know.

He's also really important to check out.

Because with cold exposure there's so many positive things going on in our body.

So with the clients that I work with as a psychotherapist who have anxiety,

And I know that I'm not going to mention your name here,

But you wrote me yesterday and replied in regards to anxiety and fear.

So I started thinking,

How can I use the cold exposure?

Because if you,

Afterwards,

I know that it's late for many of you guys,

The guys that are in Europe,

When you the next time take a shower,

And if you just take a shower like five seconds with cold water,

You will notice that the reaction you will get will be pretty much the same as if you're feeling a panic attack or if you're feeling fear.

It's something that intuitively wants us to get away from that.

So I started thinking,

Okay,

What if I can start using this cold exposure,

Which is very like what we experience when we feel fear or anxiety,

But we're doing it in a control room.

We are the ones controlling the cold water.

What will then happen if I start using my meditation skills,

My breathing techniques to calm down my nervous system,

Calm it down.

So when I walk in under the cold water,

I will have that contraction,

But then breathing.

So it will be the contraction and expansion at the same time.

So what we're practicing there is that the autonom nervous system that will just react,

We are actually making it more consciously relaxed with our breathing,

With our willpower.

So what I discovered was,

Okay,

I went from five seconds to 10 from 10 and so on.

It's like the elephant that we eat in small bites.

And I started realizing,

Wow,

I'm getting used to this.

Just like my point has been with everything,

Right?

What we learn is what we practice.

And by practicing,

Practicing,

We become even better at it.

So what I found out was now I was doing two minutes and I come to understand it or also activates what we call the brown fat,

Which is the healthy fat,

Which also makes us reduce our weight.

And then I started challenging myself on going into the water and staying for when it was 16 degrees,

I was in for like 25 minutes and just building it up as temperature went down.

I started staying in not 26 minutes,

But maybe two minutes.

And then I challenged myself on doing it for a hundred days.

So what I'm getting at here is that anything we want to learn,

Whether it's something that is intoxicating for us with fear or anything that's difficult for us,

Start finding pathways above the line.

So now,

Like three weeks ago,

I was in for 12 minutes and I found out that that was fine doing it,

But I don't want to.

It's not for me.

I just want to have the experience every day in the cold water.

And that was just from yesterday,

That picture.

So the core of what I'm telling you here is find pathways to challenge yourself on what it is that is disabling you from doing what you want.

And this week we're working with what other people think of us,

But primarily now narrowing it into what is it that you think of you?

So that was the exercise for yesterday.

Right?

So I'm new to this group this morning.

I've been uploading these audio files on Inside Timer.

So actually I think that all four days are available now,

At least the first three days.

So Lisa,

You took the cold showers every morning and how did you find that?

Yeah,

Exactly.

The 30 days,

Kate.

It's a good way to get in.

And start with just the five seconds,

I mean,

Building that up.

That's the way to do it.

Right?

Yeah,

You love it.

Yeah.

The thing is that it just vitalizes all the cells and it awakens everything.

Right?

So I definitely recommend to do that.

It's a way in these corona times also to get some other,

You know,

Another intensity into our lives.

And we really need to work on this stuff because it can be quite heavy.

Exhaleating.

Yeah,

Exactly.

So listen,

What we've been working on is,

You know,

What are the people might have thoughts and narrowing it down to into,

You know,

Getting back home to this inner part of us that might be suffering from all these different thoughts because the emotional age is low.

And yesterday I gave you that assignment to,

You know,

Take this piece of paper.

I showed you this one.

What did your mom and dad think of you and how has that formed you?

But also what do other people think of you?

But flipping it and writing down,

You know,

Honestly,

What are all these things that I'm thinking of myself?

What is it that I think of me?

And as some of you mentioned yesterday,

It can be difficult to be that honest with yourself.

And it can also be painful,

You know,

Realizing what is true and what is not.

But at least we're taking responsibility and we can start working with this stuff.

So what we're going to be working on today is for us to flip it.

So I've gotten really amazing mails,

Kate,

Sandra.

Sandra thanks a lot for their mail.

Also a lot of you guys have been reaching out and just continue doing so.

I'll reply as best as my abilities go.

And if you maybe have noticed already,

I'm doing this.

Well,

It's never going to be the same,

But in two weeks time,

I'm going to be doing three days on the same topic later in the day.

So today we're going to be working on flipping your thoughts and become free.

So what does this mean?

It means that if we look at the model,

Which has to do with above or below the line,

It means that when we have these different thoughts on behalf of other people,

Or now with focus on when we have these thoughts about ourselves,

We're below the line.

We are in drama.

We are blaming ourselves.

We are,

You know,

Victimizing ourselves with this inner villain.

And what we need to do is start flipping this up.

So we're going to start challenging these thoughts.

We're going to start creating new narratives.

We're going to challenge it and find out what's right and what's wrong.

What do I actually need to start working on,

Which is true?

And how can I start doing this either with the help of friends or therapists or books or videos or live events like this,

Right?

Let's have this short intention meditation that I always start with.

So let's just get comfortable.

And I'm doing my open-eye meditation as I'm practicing that these days.

Just settling in.

Maybe a small smile on your lips if it feels natural.

Having the same smile affect your eyes,

Smiling with your eyes.

And just noticing that in-breath and that out-breath.

And you might be able to hear that heartbeat or feel it.

And now ask yourself,

What is my intention with this session today?

What would I love for it to do for me?

What would I love to bring with me?

And just be true to whatever arises.

It might be a voice.

It might be an image.

It might be a word or a sensation,

Emotion.

So what is it that I would love for this talk to do for me?

What would I love to bring with me?

Let's take a couple of deep breaths.

Really filling up ourselves with air,

With life.

Exhaling.

Exhaling those shoulders,

Relaxing.

Again in-breath.

Out-breath.

Just get ready to move our attention outwards again.

Just let me know if you guys are for it.

Just let me know what intentions you might have for today.

Just so I can tune in to that as well.

And good night Caroline.

As I mentioned in two weeks time I'm going to be doing this at 3 PM Danish time.

So that's going to be probably better.

So clarity Kate,

What else you guys?

What are your intentions?

And just what I mentioned before is putting it out there makes it come into existence.

We've been working on this vulnerability based trust.

I've been sharing,

You know,

Honestly what's going on inside of me.

I shared yesterday in regards to the difficulty I had with the writing this letter.

No,

Sorry,

Calling my brother and openly sharing what I really felt in my heart that we needed to talk about.

Because I've been challenging you guys and looking at these relationship circles and finding out who you could reach out to,

Right?

So putting it out there is so important.

So there's the authenticity,

Self-reflection,

Life connection.

To be stronger with compassion on authenticity,

Overcome my fears,

Recognizing what's holding me back and fully step out of my comfort zone,

Having a better understanding on what's going on.

Authentic,

Self-compassion,

So many great things.

And it's so important.

I mean,

This is day five,

Right?

And we're going to.

.

.

Is there ever a beginning or an ending?

I don't think so.

I'm not into there not being.

So what I'm trying to say is that if you take these sentences and you really repeat these to you every morning,

Then we are creating,

You know,

We are becoming the conscious creators of where we're going to want to go at.

Not knowing where we're going at or not having these words in the morning is like having other people decide where we're going to travel if we go to the train station.

Our unconscious part of us is going to be deciding if we're going to go below the line or above the line.

So waking up and deciding on today,

I want to work on my authenticity.

I want to be working on being as you write.

Where did you go?

Yeah,

Stop chewing on the past negative interactions and replaying them in my head.

So if you wake up with that,

With what you would love instead.

So Susan,

If you could rephrase that into what you would love to do right now,

Rephrase it.

What would you love to experience from being able to stop chewing on past negative interactions and replaying them in your head?

No work on that phrase,

Not necessarily right now,

But by the end of this session,

It would be great.

So if we wake up with this intention,

We are the conscious creators of our day.

That's why I'm doing these live meditations in Denmark for a group every morning at six o'clock to six fifteen.

That's why I'm doing this with you guys.

And this right is healing for me.

I mean,

All the words,

All the perspectives that you share with,

I'm really learning from all of this and we can learn from each other all the time.

So let's get back to today's focus on flipping the thoughts.

Flip your thoughts and become free.

Sounds good,

Like it sounds like an ad.

And the thing is that flipping our thoughts is a year long process.

This is difficult.

I'm not going to you know that it isn't easy.

And but I do believe that it's because this creates integration is needed.

We need to repeat and repeat and repeat and started this being an integrated part of ourselves.

So the approach that we're going to have,

There are many approach to flipping your thoughts.

There's two very easy ones.

I'm going to give you two different ones.

There's a very easy one,

Which is this one right here.

So the black one representing that negative thought that we can have about ourselves,

Because now we've gone from the step of having thoughts and other people's behalf to deleting that and really becoming aware that I am the one creating these negative thoughts,

Not them.

I am.

So now working with this one and this one,

Which means that here the easy one,

If we could put it like that is to when we are conscious about that negative thoughts.

So that's step one.

We need to start becoming aware that is there is actually a negative thought or negative thought pattern.

So how do we do that?

We do that by noticing when we stop breathing.

We do that by noticing whether we are contracting inside.

So a very easy exercise in order to understand what I mean is that if you clench your fists right now,

Really hard,

Just notice what happens to your breathing.

Even though I'm conscious,

I'm having a hard time breathing.

So what happens is that when we,

When we clench our fists is what we contract our nervous system.

Something is going on that makes our brain say alert,

Alert,

Something is important right now.

You need to be aware of certain circumstances.

So you need to be aware of what to do,

How to handle the emotions,

And it's so important that with fear and anxiety that we start flipping those two.

So they become our friends.

We look often at fear and anxiety as something that is bad for us.

It just means that you have a very well functioning nervous system.

There are people that get to step out on a road and get run over because their nervous system is not intact.

They are not alert.

So it's a question about balance,

Right?

And you've been here.

Problem means that you are having thoughts on other people's behalf,

Need to take it home.

Understand that it's your thoughts understanding that when you start,

You know observing the contraction it's meditation time that the fear can be the fuel for your development.

So my point here is that when we do notice that we contract either I use my shoulders.

I've,

This is my point that when I do like this,

I know that I'm contracting and I then notice that I'm not breathing right.

And then I lower them,

Breathe in deep.

And then I start recognizing what are the thoughts I'm having.

So the thoughts,

It's often a negative thought,

The first black one here.

So the easy,

The first method to work with this is then to have at least two flip thoughts above the line.

So if I'm thinking,

Okay,

Let me just take a simple example.

I brought this hat.

This is actually a tool that I'm using in order to be more focused on liking me than other people like me.

So putting this on will create right now,

Live and negative thought inside of me of that I feel stupid right now.

I'm feeling contraction.

I can feel my breathing going up here and I want to take it off because what might you be thinking?

So I'm breathing in,

Maybe closing my eyes and reminding myself that it's more important that I work on what I think of me than what you think of me.

All respect,

Nothing to do with you.

I realized that this is me creating it.

Just relaxing,

Calm breathing.

I can feel that inside I'm shivering a bit,

But telling myself that that's fine.

Breathing in deep breath.

Okay so now I'm getting back to what I would call kind of a nerve.

I still have the impulse to take it off.

I still feel stupid with it.

So we need to find out what can we use to work on a daily basis.

How can we start taking active control of that steering wheel,

But at the same time lose control?

Because what we tend to do is that we create these self images of how we should be and then there's how we are.

In here there's the gap which makes us feel uncomfortable.

So what can we start doing to provoke that side of us which we need to get it out of the bush,

Right?

We need to know what to work with.

So having one negative thought,

Let me do it again.

Okay second time.

Not as bad.

That's not the same contraction because I'm being vulnerable.

I'm being open.

I'm sharing what's going on.

Let me see if anybody wrote that I'm looking ridiculous.

Not so far.

Not so far.

So that's another step,

Right?

Second whether my thoughts are real or not.

So there's something about identity that we need to look at.

What am I telling myself that I should be and what am I actually challenging myself on becoming?

So becoming ourselves is pretty stupid that it's so difficult,

But at least for me it's been.

So for me this is practicing,

Right?

And doing this the third time,

The fourth time,

Repeating it will mean that finishing you know after months I'm not going to be thinking about me wearing that hat because it's just become something that I work on and I'm proud of being more me and more me and more me.

That's where the authenticity comes in,

Right?

So again,

One negative thought have two positive thoughts.

And positive doesn't mean that we're trying to romanticize.

It just means that the opposite could also be true.

So one negative thought would be that I'm not as intelligent as everybody else in the room,

Which is where we stay quiet,

Right?

Because everybody else seems to have it all figured out and I don't.

And then flipping the thought would be I'm the only one in the room that actually knows what's going on.

And I'm the only one in the room that can contribute in my unique way.

Just noticing how that brings us above the line.

You know,

This is where we are challenging the thoughts below the line,

Challenging them to become,

You know,

Creating a new way of understanding ourselves and becoming more present.

The big bill we are paying by continuing this below the line,

You know,

Rumination,

This below the line contraction and drama is that we are not present.

We are not here.

This is not something that I think this is what science tells us that these mirror neurons that we have in our brain,

These mirror neurons that right now are helping you to understand what I'm trying to tell you.

When I do like this right now,

You're creating the same thing in your brain,

Figuring out what it is that I mean by doing this.

So we can not,

Not,

You know,

Be affected by our mirror neurons.

So by understanding what new mirror neurons do,

We can also start using them consciously.

Our imagination is so powerful.

So if we think negative thoughts and we,

We,

We believe them and they fit into our narrative of a victim role,

That's what we will continue doing.

If we challenge it here,

We will start creating a new narrative,

A new belief about ourself.

So using these mirror neurons,

Understanding what they are,

And you can just look it up,

You can Google it.

Understanding what,

How they function makes us understand that we are affected by anything and everything,

Especially from ourselves.

So we are the creators of our,

Our,

Our,

Our truth,

Right?

And if it is,

If it's a bit blurry about what these mirror neurons actually are,

Let me,

Let me show you this lemon.

So this is a lemon,

Right?

I'm having a lemon in my hand right now,

And now I'm cutting the lemon and I'm taking the lemon and I'm biting the lemon.

So there's a chance right now that you're actually creating more saliva inside your mouth,

Right?

So mirror neurons mirror everything that's going on.

But just by imagination,

We will be reacting to this.

And it's so important to understand this because many of these things really don't come up to our consciousness before somebody asks us about it.

So before I move on to the second part of this,

You know,

The method and time is flying,

Let me just see,

There was a couple of questions,

Right?

Ah,

Parenting.

That's a big one.

I tend to say it like this.

It is very,

It's like,

It's like expecting that we can go into,

Let's say,

A football match and win it without practicing for many years.

So honestly,

It's so difficult with,

With,

With,

Um,

Our emotional age.

What is difficult is that when we have these conflicts that we can call them or with our kids,

Their emotional age might be four or two or six,

But our emotional age is maybe just a bit higher.

It may be sometimes it actually is at the same age or at eight or 12 unless,

Unless we develop it,

Unless we develop that emotional age at that maturity.

So that's a whole other,

Um,

Area that I definitely want to cover also with five day workshop,

Because how do we develop this emotional age?

We do it by starting to take responsibility for what's going on inside of us.

And to begin with,

Um,

Uh,

Kate,

I'd say that,

That the most important thing right now today to practice is your intention on wanting to stay,

You know,

Um,

Stay in love.

So staying in love means that we need to practice that when something hits our nervous system,

Stay in love,

Stay being the loving awareness so that when we feel that contraction,

We do not reject it.

We do not fight it.

We just embrace it.

We just bid it welcome.

And by being willing to feel that it will expand,

It will make our temperature rise.

It will make our head red.

But when we don't give it any more energy,

It starts coming down again with the,

You can't have this kind of reaction and reaction from the past.

And you can't have it and continuously be breathing calmly and not experienced that it passes away.

What happens is that we,

We are,

You know,

We are reactivated from the past.

We become victims.

Our children are being the villains and there is no hero.

So I hope this makes sense.

It's kind of a difficult question to answer right now.

Do reach out afterwards.

Um,

So I need to be aware of the time.

I want to share this other piece of,

Of,

Um,

The first one was taking the negative thought.

Notice that you're contracting,

Breathing in deep,

Creating two positive thoughts,

Flipping it and doing that over and over and over and over again.

So just practicing the becoming aware of the negative thought,

Just practicing,

Becoming aware of that contraction.

Just practice that.

Leave it at that to begin with.

We need to remember the slowest fast with us humans,

Right?

Many years ago when I started meditating,

I've dealt so much with,

With anger,

Suppressed anger.

So I used to break my glasses.

I used to punch holes in the walls,

But God forbid that anybody else knew about this.

No,

No,

No.

Outside I was playing the,

You know,

Playing the game.

I was being nice and everything.

And I could,

You know,

Embrace everything.

But when I was back home,

I was totally empty and I was sad and I was lonely and mad and all of this,

Right?

So becoming aware of these things that the first,

That is the first step and then start finding pathways on how to work with it.

Um,

Second method,

And this is just a,

You know,

A brief introduction to this one.

The questions are simple,

But they are hard to implement.

Most of you probably know,

Uh,

Katie Byron,

Which is,

Uh,

You know,

Has this called the work.

Um,

And if you don't know Katie Byron,

I definitely,

Um,

It's the website is the work.

Com and the work.

Com is,

I mean,

She's just opening up for everything that she has and wanting to share.

So there's worksheets,

There's,

Um,

You know,

Uh,

All kinds of videos where she explains stuff and she's just an amazing woman.

She came to this on this path,

Realizing in a,

You know,

In the midst of all this trouble in her life,

That before there was all,

There was nothing.

I mean,

Just,

Just having that awakening,

That,

That,

That there was nothing and then just starting understanding.

But if there was nothing to begin with,

Well then suddenly things start arising.

So inside of us also becoming nothing and understanding that,

That then being aware of when something pops up that I'm the creator of it,

Not somebody else.

So yeah,

Exactly.

Byron,

Katie,

Thank you.

Um,

So there are four different questions in,

In,

In the,

In the work.

So when you have that negative thought and remembering that we are not,

We've,

We forgot about them outside of us.

We've understood that it's us creating those thoughts and it's us having that list of what we think negatively about us.

The first question is,

Is it true?

We're going to do a short meditation afterwards here before we finish off.

The next question is challenging it.

Can I be absolutely sure that this thought is true?

And already there we start,

You know,

No,

Actually I cannot be 100% true,

True,

Right?

So what does it make you feel or how do you react when believing that this is true?

And then this is where we start realizing that,

Ah,

I'm actually,

I'm actually the one creating this bad emotion inside of me.

I'm the one,

You know,

It makes me feel really bad and not,

You know,

Love,

Not all these things.

And then the fourth question is how,

I mean,

Um,

Who would you be without this kind of,

Uh,

These kinds of thoughts?

And this is where we start,

You know,

The breathing can automatically start going down.

Wow.

Who would I be without all these negative thoughts,

All of this fear and all this stuff.

And that's where we can start getting this sense of,

Of,

Of above the line,

The freedom and the step five is turning it around.

And that's what I,

When I talk about flipping it is what if the opposite was true?

What if I could use those phrases that I've written down on my paper and I could flip it on the other side and see what was,

If the opposite was true.

So let's do a meditation with this.

Um,

And,

And just finishing off,

I'll just open up and you guys can let me know if you have any,

Um,

Any questions for this.

Right.

So let's,

Um,

Close our eyes.

Small smile on your lips if it feels right to do so.

Just relaxing those shoulders.

And if you have written down,

You know,

All these different things that you think about yourself,

And if you haven't been,

You know,

If this is your first day here,

You just need to find something that you,

A thought that you have about yourself,

Which doesn't really feel good,

Which feels like you're contracting and you're having,

You can categorize it as a negative thought.

And then asking yourself the first question.

Is it true?

What I'm telling myself,

Is it true?

Just breathing in,

Breathing out.

And the answer can be,

You know,

With a voice in your head or image or sensations or a combination of it.

Is it true?

So you might have a part of you that will start argumenting to why it is true.

And we're just noticing,

We're not pushing anything away,

We're just noticing.

Just understanding ourselves better.

So then asking ourselves the question,

Can I be absolutely sure that what I'm telling myself is true?

Can I be absolutely sure that what I'm telling myself is true?

And again,

Just calm breathing.

You know,

Really finding that honesty inside yourself.

Can I be absolutely sure that what I'm telling myself is true?

And whatever arises,

Just be true to it.

You might be holding on to it being true and just be true to that.

Just taking small steps here.

And now asking yourself the question,

How do I react when I have this thought?

What does it make me feel when I have this thought?

And it might bring uncomfortable feelings or contraction or emotions that are not really that nice,

But just really being true to whatever is.

So if it is the feeling of loneliness or anger or rejection,

Just really be willing to feel it.

Now asking yourself the question,

Who would I be without this thought?

Just notice what that question does to you,

Who would I be without this thought,

Without this belief about myself?

Just breathe in deep and just again be open to whatever arises.

Be willing to feel everything,

Bidding everything welcome.

And step five being,

What if the opposite was true?

So really whatever you might be telling yourself,

Turning it around.

What if the opposite is true?

Just take a couple of deep breaths before we finish off.

Okay.

So as I mentioned,

This is just a very brief,

I mean we could use five days or three days on just the work.

It could be something that I would do at a later time.

But really check out baronkati,

Thework.

Com.

There's a lot of these worksheets.

So what's so important for me to point out is that when working with this every day,

We start,

It's like having a good habit of going out walking every day or I mean drinking water every day or doing these things that we know are good for us.

If we start getting a routine,

A ritual with stuff like this,

We are every day reminding ourselves that there's something good about this,

There's something positive and you know all of these different things that I've drawn on this sheet,

We've touched upon maybe six of them.

So there's a lot of stuff to go through and a lot of stuff to work on.

But it's so important to fall in love with the process.

Because when falling in love with this process of yours,

Though you will start realizing that wow it's painful right now.

And there's the image right now in my mind with this Buddha inside of all this shell of protection and understanding that inside of us we have all this gold,

We have all this light inside of us,

But there's all the layer of pain outside that we need to work our way through.

There are a handful of people that have these enlightenment where they are just awakened and they are in that state of gold and blissness.

Eckhart Tolle is one of the ones explaining how that happened to him right?

I'm not sure it's going to happen for the most of us.

I'm sure that it's not.

I think that our path is you know it's once severed at the time and just you know integrating and that's fine.

The one is not better than the other it's just different right?

I have so many things to share but I do have you know this time limit for today.

Yeah exactly.

All for peeling the onion.

So what I would love for you guys to do today,

Going back to my brother,

I didn't write a letter that was also difficult for me.

So I thought why don't I sit down and record on this one and I just continue,

Oh something is beeping here,

And I just continue doing what I'm doing the best right now which is voice recording.

So in here is a six minute love letter for my brother and my girls are going to go to you know with this covid times there's a five person limit here in Denmark at least.

So we're going to bring my girls to their house today.

They're going to celebrate the birthday of my nephew,

My brother's child,

And I'm going to put this in an envelope and I'm going to have one of my girls pass it to him or I'll pass it actually.

Yeah no it will be one of my girls passing it on to my brother.

So he will sit down and listen to this.

And in here is what I would really love for us to do together.

So what I'm asking him to do is for us to have a weekend together for us.

And I did this in Spanish as I mentioned yesterday.

I felt that reaching out to him,

It felt like being something from the past.

I'm from Chile originally living in Denmark.

So doing it in Spanish was in a weird way what I needed to do.

So I got a letter from one of you guys writing that you were inspired by this thing that I shared with me telling my brother that I would die for him.

It's also in here.

And that you would do the same with your sister and she might not believe it but it meant a lot for you just to do that.

So sharing honestly and that's what I'm challenging you to do is to reach out today to somebody who you love,

Who you miss and tell them honestly either by writing,

Either by calling,

Either by voice recording,

Either by letter,

By mail.

But do it.

Let's not wait until it's too late.

That's also what I'm sharing in here with him is that we do not know when our time is over.

And let's not continue believing that we will live till we become 102.

We don't know.

So if we do what is most important right now which is to reach out to those,

It might be one,

It might be more people.

I strongly believe and that's what I feel also sharing with you guys.

I believe that it's coming into existence.

And will I be worried about how he's going to react?

Yes,

Of course.

Will I risk being rejected?

Yes,

Of course.

Am I willing to feel everything?

Yes,

I am.

So it's going to be,

You know,

Handing it in and then just meditating on it and knowing that even though he might not even,

Oh,

He is going to respond.

Sure he is.

And I'm quite sure that we are going to have that weekend.

But let's put ourselves on the line.

Let's let's,

You know,

Be honest.

Let's work with that intention that we have.

Let's remind ourselves each morning when we wake,

You know,

What do I want to do today?

Which one thing do I want to practice today?

Whether it's any of the tools that you received through this workshop,

Whether it's something else that you've been inspired by by others,

Work on something every day.

That's my,

You know,

That's why I'm hoping the most for you.

Work on something every day.

Because by working on something every day,

You're going to be creating,

You know,

Your next now.

And that next now is going to be fueled with the previous now,

Which is not the past from your childhood,

But the past of now.

So working with the childhood as well is important.

But this now is the only thing that there is,

Right?

So as I mentioned,

So much stuff still to that I want to share with you.

Hopefully I will have lots of years to continue this sharing.

I do think that I'm going to do,

I'm very inspired by Ramdass.

A-R-M-D-A-S-S.

He has a documentary from the last part of his life on Netflix.

It's called Going Home.

I'm not lying if I say that,

That I've watched that documentary maybe 80 times.

It's only 30 minutes long,

But it's I've had it in the background.

I've just repeated it,

Repeated it.

So I'm so inspired by him also because I really want to understand my,

Find my own spiritual identity.

I really want to work with that.

So going back to walking the talk,

Right?

You're not going to hear me say anything that I'm not doing myself or have done or trying to do.

So I am going to do a meditation Sunday around midday,

Which is going to be on inspired by Ramdass.

It's going to be like an hour or so I think.

Thanks a lot,

Elena.

Yeah.

A-R-M-D-A-S-S.

On Netflix,

It's called Going Home.

The documentary.

It's so important for me.

He's ah damn.

Let me just see.

Okay.

Really?

I have 10 minutes left.

I've been talking about resource persons.

Resource persons is such a huge thing for me.

And it's such an important thing.

The other days we've been meditating on,

You know,

Also what I want to finish off today with this visualization of all us in here,

Meditating together in one big circle and having that experience of holding hands.

Resource persons are people that are inside of us.

Ramdass is inside of me.

He's not here physically anymore.

I've never met him,

But he's inside of me as a resource person right now.

I can feel him standing behind me.

He's not normally they would have a hand on my,

On my shoulders,

But he's just standing maybe three meters behind me.

He's jiggling.

He's jiggling.

He has this lovely laughter that I'm so much connected with.

So he's actually right now,

He's poking me in the back,

Like pushing me forward.

He's like doing like this good stuff,

Good stuff.

So and I feel the emotions arise,

Right?

I feel that he's there.

And am I crazy?

No.

I'm using consciously what I can to,

To feel safe,

To feel empowered,

To feel vulnerable,

To feel brave by having Ramdass.

And then I,

You know,

With this drawing,

It shows the resource persons,

This one.

So we can have all these different people inside of us.

We can have our parents.

We can have our brothers or sisters.

We can have our ancestors.

There's a great way of working with this stuff,

Which is ancestor meditation,

Having this long,

Long,

Long line of ancestors behind of us,

All saying,

All rooting for you,

All saying,

That's good.

You're doing everything that is good for us because whatever we work here liberates them.

That's what I'm open to.

And what I do here also liberates them.

The ones that are,

Will be,

Because what we do now will be passed on through our kids or other people or what we're doing right here in this room.

Right?

So resource persons is so important to work with.

And I promise that I will take that on in two weeks time when I do the three day workshop,

Same topic,

Same stuff,

Repetition,

Different angles.

Wow.

Yeah.

China Chan.

I don't know how to pronounce that,

But he's a really heartwarming person.

And you know,

Really using,

Using,

It's not something that you need to sit down and,

You know,

I want to have this versus have these different resources,

But you can just sit down and just be open to people popping up and just really be open to if it's a person that you,

You have trouble with,

Just be true to whatever pops up because it's your conscious releasing that image.

Right?

It's not something telegraphed from Netflix.

So it's you releasing that person.

And if that person arises and it's something that makes you contract and you say,

Oh no,

That's not a resource person.

Then there's something to work on having that person become a resource person.

Maybe you have projections on that person that you can learn from.

So we're about to finish off.

I far from feel that I've succeeded with sharing everything,

But I will continue to do these live sessions,

As I mentioned in two weeks time,

Three day workshop again,

Midday or at three o'clock.

So let's,

Let's finish off with the same meditation that we've done the previous three days and just,

You know,

Be as open to it as you can,

As it feels right for you.

All right.

So this meditation is all about opening up,

Opening up your energy system,

Open them up your mind,

Opening up your heart,

Your soul.

So just relax for a little bit before we enter this visualization,

Having the small smile on your lip,

Smiling eyes,

Relaxed eyes,

Relaxed shoulders.

Just listening to whatever sounds they are,

But the sounds you're now listening to are the ones that we step into now,

All together,

All 146 of us right now that are in this circle to this big field,

Like big grass field like yesterday.

We just,

We're all there.

You know,

We've just been sharing all these different thoughts and emotions.

We're all here on the same path,

Wanting to understand,

Have our different stories,

Things to work on,

Deal with,

Develop.

And today we're standing in three circles,

But all of the circles are inside each other.

So there's an inner circle,

Second circle and third circle.

And just place yourself in the circle that you want to be in.

Just imagine that we're all going through each other,

Finding out what circle we want to be in.

And just find that circle and find that person that you want to stand next to on your right side and on your left side.

And now I'm asking you to take down your hands and,

You know,

Take the other person's hand on your right side and on your left side.

On your right hand,

Your palm are downwards and on your left hand,

Your palm is upwards.

And if that doesn't make sense,

Just grab a hold of that hand and feel the warmth from that hand.

And taking a couple of deep breaths,

It can be a bit,

You know,

Contracting to hold another person's hand,

But just look around at all these people in this circle that you're in and you can see the other circles around you or inside of that circle that you are in,

Depending on where you are.

And just notice that everybody's breathing,

You know,

At the same pace.

Like everybody's breathing is mirroring each other.

Somebody starts laughing and everybody starts jiggling a bit and smiling.

Taking a couple of deep breaths.

Feel the warm sun,

A nice breeze.

Really feel that big smile on your face being a mirroring of your heart,

Your energy,

Your connection with all these,

With all you lovely people.

Not knowing each other,

But still knowing each other.

Like really deep knowing each other.

We are the same light.

Suddenly somebody starts rocking their shoulders,

Like from side to side,

And everybody starts rocking their shoulders from side to side,

Feeling that movement.

Just a really nice,

Easy rocking.

And now finalizing this meditation in this field,

I ask you to choose one word,

Just one word that really says it all or tries to say it all.

Just one word right now.

Feel it in your heart.

Breathe in on the word.

It could be love,

It could be connection,

It could be whatever.

But take that heart in your in-breath and into your heart.

And breathe out into the center of the group,

The center of the circle.

Again breathing into the heart,

That word,

Breathing out into the center of the group,

The center of the circle.

So now just imagining that we let go of the hands and stretch and just embrace the person to your right,

Embrace the person to your left,

Embrace whoever is there.

And just thanking each other for having this meditation,

This vision,

This inner experience.

And just opening our eyes,

Coming to this moment right here,

Right now,

But still feeling that connection with everybody else who's in this room.

One hundred and forty-seven souls right now,

One hundred and forty-seven hearts next to each other just beating.

Let's keep this in mind.

And as I also mentioned one of the other days,

Let's use each other in our meditation if it makes sense.

Maybe you've written something in the comment field that made you connect with somebody else.

Let's use each other as resource persons.

You know,

I'm one hundred percent available for you to use me in your meditation with whatever.

If somebody mentioned the jiggling or the laughter,

Just as I use all the resource persons that I am one hundred percent sure will let me do that,

I'm saying the same to you.

Please do so.

Please let's use each other on this path.

Let's continue our process,

All of us.

I'm so glad that you guys are reaching out by messaging on Inside Timer.

I'm trying to reply.

It's difficult,

You know,

Over with words to explain because things can be complex.

But do reach out.

It might take me maybe two or three days to reply,

But I will reply.

Also there's a handful of you that I've asked in regards to one-to-ones,

Which is possible.

So you can also write me if you want to know more about that.

I created this circle called Kala's Circle.

I need to find out,

You know,

How it really works.

But I opened it up inspired by Ruben Love,

Who's a great guy to check out also.

There's many great teachers.

Tara Bragg is one of the others.

Sanda Blandin,

I think she's called.

She's amazing.

You probably know her already.

I think most of us do.

We all have that light inside of us.

And we see that light in others,

Just like you might see it in me.

Everything that you have,

All words that you've used about me or you think about me is a mirroring of you.

It's inside of you.

The same light.

We just need to start doing the stuff we need to do in order to let go of all those contractions,

All of those limitations.

Right?

So thank you so much.

Thank you so much for the donations.

I appreciate the part that goes to Inside Timer.

I appreciate the parts that goes to me that I transfer into Big Heart Skateboarding,

Which is my skateboard project here in Denmark.

Skating since I was 13 years old.

Working on actually a talk with one of my employees,

Which has ADHD.

So skateboarding,

ADHD and meditation is going to be in this talk.

So these five days have been healing for me.

And yesterday I really understood what it means that give and you shall be given without becoming too biblical or too religious.

It's more the experience of now I really understand that the more I give,

The more I receive.

And it's about all the stuff that I can bring with me when I will no longer be.

It's not about the money or it's about what I can bring with me.

And it's all the experience of connection.

So thank you so much for these five days.

I know that I've given and you might be appreciative of what I have given,

But I'm so thankful.

Thank you.

Thankful for you,

For you,

For what you have given.

So thank you so much for making this possible for me as well.

And and and yes,

Kate,

I will thank my family for my time.

They are,

I'm actually sharing part of what you write me,

Especially the mail that I got yesterday.

It's anonymized,

But I share that with my kids.

So they actually also understand they are great,

Fantastic human beings already.

But but they are so curious to what we do in here.

And I tell them about what we do in and the things that we talk about.

And,

You know,

They know the majority of these things already.

And that's what makes me proud.

Right.

So I think in our family line,

Seven generations forward,

What will what I do now and my wife does,

How will that affect their lives,

Their way of thinking,

Their way of being in the world,

Their way of giving.

So thank you so much,

Everybody.

Thank you for everything for these five days.

I hope to see you all either in the circle,

Kala's circle,

Or to see you at one of the later events I'm doing or the spontaneous meditations.

As I mentioned,

I'll be doing one Sunday.

I'm going to go in and book that afterwards.

And anything just just write me.

Thank you so much.

I need to go.

I don't want to go,

But I need to go.

Thank you,

Everybody.

The circle is just called Kala's circle.

So it's just my name,

First name and then circle.

Good night.

Thank you so much,

Nancy,

For staying up this late.

You probably were like,

What time is it at your place?

It's probably way too late.

Thank you,

Susan.

Thank you,

Elena,

For all those nice words.

All five,

Claudia,

Sandra,

Thank you for that donation as well.

Thank you,

Everybody.

Nancy,

Tanya,

Vienna,

And all of you who haven't commented.

I know that you're out there.

So thank you so much.

Thank you.

And this will be published within the next couple of days on Inside Timer together with the other one.

Thank you.

I forgot that I was still recording.

I'm in a bit of time pressure and I blew out the.

.

.

Oh,

I blew a hole in the candle.

That's part of me as well,

Swearing.

So listen,

Thank you so much for being there.

It's completely overwhelming.

It's beautiful.

It's all kind of emotions.

And I'm just looking forward to this continuous process,

Just being transparent,

Just sharing and just remembering that we're all just humans trying to figure out what all this stuff is about and having as great a life as possible.

So thank you so much.

Reach out.

Let me know.

Or else I'll see you at one of the other events.

Thank you so much.

Bye bye.