Healing The Root Of Anger | Find Safety Within Your Body

Welcome dear friends.

I want to start with why do we get angry?

Basically,

Why do we get angry?

And I think a lot of people on a spiritual journey don't think that they are supposed to get angry.

I personally think that there's a lot of shame around the emotion of anger.

Like,

You are a bad person if you get angry.

Everybody makes it to be like an emotion that,

Oh it's a bit,

It's disgusting,

You know.

You're not supposed to get angry because that means like a loss of temper or a loss of control.

It's looked upon as if it's something that's not acceptable.

But the truth is,

I mean,

We are human beings and it is an emotion and we feel all emotions.

That's why they're here.

That's why we have them.

We have them so that they are a form of language within our bodies.

And when we feel a certain way inside,

It's an indication of something in our reality that's going on on the outside,

Possibly,

Or something that we're thinking about that's going on on the outside.

It's an emotion.

The issue with anger is that it's quite a low vibration emotion.

If you were to put all different emotions on a scale,

It's more of a low energy vibration,

Which means just scientifically,

It doesn't feel nice in our bodies.

Emotions have feeling.

We feel them right in our bodies.

Pleasure feels good.

Joy feels good.

Resentment feels tight.

And naughty.

Hatred feels like hot.

Different emotions feel different.

Anger is an emotion that feels very,

Very high temper,

Temperature.

It's like hot in the body.

And it's explosive.

And it feels like it's pushing against all areas of your container.

It's like an irritation kind of feeling when you're really angry.

And if you start to be angry and you can't stop it,

This is the thing you see.

Anger is an emotion that when you start to feel that bubble inside starting and you start to feel that heat rising,

And you start to feel that prickly sensation in your body,

Sometimes it's very,

Very hard to get off that train.

It's very hard.

So it's a consuming emotion.

I remember in times where I was actually working on anger for myself,

I was working on that energy.

And it was part of my journey.

This was years ago.

And I remember,

I could feel it starting.

And it's almost like it's a little bit of an addiction.

It's like it starts and it takes over.

And it's very,

Very difficult to not ride with that.

Because it's so fueled.

The energy behind anger is so like,

That you want to kind of ride on it,

You know,

And express and shout and just expel this emotion that's inside of you.

So when you feel it and it starts to build up,

It's very difficult to maintain a sense of willpower or control that can override that.

It gets to a certain point and it's,

I remember thinking,

Oh,

I can feel it.

It's coming.

I need to walk away.

But then at the same time,

I'd be like,

I can't.

You know what I mean?

So it's like that kind of emotion.

It's very powerful.

But,

But,

But,

But,

But,

But,

But,

But it's giving you a message that you're afraid.

And what I mean by that is,

If you have anything that you're particularly angry about,

If you chase it backwards,

You'll always find it's based in fear.

It's always fear based.

Anger is coming from a place of fear.

So if you're around someone that's always angry,

It's because they're coming from a place of fear.

It's a lack of a feeling of complete safety.

Because you're explosive to the point where you're in that fight mode,

Right?

So whenever there is a presence of fear,

It's because our root chakra doesn't feel good.

That safe protection,

Grounded stability is being rocked and we don't feel safe.

Hence we act in certain ways when we don't feel safe.

And one of those ways is anger.

Like a scared dog,

We bark,

We growl,

We attack.

But the dogs that do that,

They do that because they're scared.

They're frightened and they think if they look fearsome,

Then the other dog will back off.

So we're coming always from a place of fear.

So psychologically,

If you want to work on your anger issues,

You have to find a place where you feel more safe.

And that comes back to safety within yourself.

And when we're talking about safety within ourselves,

We're talking about trusting in yourself,

Knowing that you're capable,

Knowing that you can cope,

Knowing that you have the goods to be able to cope with whatever it is.

You see,

That gives you the foundation and allows anger,

When it flows to you,

To basically like fizzle out quite quickly because you're good,

You feel safe,

You trust in yourself.

What's the point in barking so loud when you're not scared because you've got your own back?

That's like the psychological backdoor into how to work on anger.

When you hold anger in,

Because of many different reasons,

You're creating a toxic environment inside of your body.

When you hold anger in,

It creates a blockage in your system.

And you're basically suppressing this emotion that needs to be released.

It's an energy.

So that energy is very low,

Very fiery,

Very toxic,

And it's been held inside of your body.

And what happens eventually is you'll get sick.

So if you suppress and suppress and suppress,

But yet the energy is still inside of you,

Then yes,

Like Rachel said,

It can cause a lot of resentment.

And when you're a resentful person,

You're naturally,

Your baseline is quite bitter.

So you're withholding all the higher vibrations that you can experience as a human being.

You're in a state of bitterness when you're resentful.

So when you hold in,

You become resentful,

You become defensive,

And you might get sick.

When anger is expressed,

But you choose to express it on others,

It's coming from a place of fear.

And when it's expressed,

And it's expressed onto someone else,

You're basically passing on that fear.

What they choose to do with that fear is on them.

Let me explain because this one's tricky.

If you're raising your kids,

And you're an explosive,

Angry parent,

Then those kids will develop behaviors to survive through that.

They'll either grow up and be explosive and angry themselves,

Because that's the form of expression when they're mad.

When I'm really upset,

And I'm really emotional,

This is how I communicate it,

Because that's what mom and dad did.

So they just become copycats.

That's what our kids do with everything that we do.

So they grow up and become an adult and learn that that's okay.

That's an okay form of communication,

Because you have an excuse.

You're really angry right now,

So you're allowed to talk to somebody in that way.

It's like a natural behavior that they think is okay.

But really what's happening is they become adults that have fears and don't know how to express them,

So they get angry and communicate that way.

Or it goes the other way.

If we have angry parents,

We learn survival modes,

And we learn to be good little boys or good little girls.

And when we learn to be good little boys and good little girls,

What happens is,

As we grow up and we become grown adults,

We have fears of confrontation.

We don't know how to handle ourselves in confrontation.

So we become very scared and avoidant of confrontation.

And how do you avoid confrontation?

You people please.

You don't want to upset anybody.

You don't want them to get mad at you,

Like mom and dad did.

So you people please.

You lose yourself,

And you morph into something that somebody else wants.

And you spend your whole life feeling like you don't know yourself and you're disconnected from yourself,

Because your whole life you're living for running away from being shouted at or disliked or making someone angry,

Because you haven't learned a healthy way to process through that kind of situation.

This is how another way that it affects if we have angry parents.

We have a really,

Really hard time making a decision as adults,

Because we're scared.

And if we make the wrong decision,

We might get into trouble.

Because maybe that's what happened when you were a child.

You did something wrong.

You got blasted with anger.

You got scared.

It frightened you.

You don't want to do anything wrong.

So you shut down,

And you become a procrastinator.

Because you procrastinate on moving forward in life,

Because you can't without being scared.

Procrastinators are full of fear.

So yes,

Anger is an emotion that we all have,

But it's very damaging.

And it's not about having shame,

About having anger.

It's just about knowing the force and the power of this particular emotion.

That's what we're talking about today.

It's not about shame,

Because every single one of us is going to be angry at times.

But there are healthy ways to express your anger.

And we're going to talk about those.

So how do we express anger?

It's an energy,

Right?

It's an energy.

It's actually a very male,

Yang energy.

So think about that from the perspective of how you would express it in a healthy way.

You need movement with anger.

You need to move.

So if you have anger build up in your body,

It needs to be expressed through something physical.

This is just the energy,

Okay?

Not the mental part and the emotional part.

This is just the energy.

Expel it through something physical.

Running,

Boxing,

Any kind of cardio.

Anything where you're actually moving,

Not slow like Qigong.

It has to be something speeded.

It has to be something sweaty.

Something that will allow you to feel a sense of exhaustion afterwards.

Something that can expel this powerful,

Expelling energy.

It has to match it.

So like yoga,

Not so great.

I mean,

It might help,

But it's not so great.

You need something like a good run.

Something as simple as a shower might help,

But a cold,

Vigorating shower would be the way to go.

You see,

It has to be more of an extreme.

It can't be something that's calming.

It's like an ice bath,

An ice plunge,

Something like that.

Whereas a sauna,

Nah,

It's too like warm,

Too calming.

Also,

You know what does do it?

Sounds crazy,

But a really good cry.

That's why a lot of the time when we get angry,

We cry.

We're trying to expel it already.

Ways to process the mental and emotional part of your anger.

You can meditate,

Communicate with your inner child,

Communicate with that part of yourself that's frightened.

You can journal.

You can angry journal.

That's a way of expelling the mental.

You can like,

I'm so mad at you,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah.

It's an expression.

It's a purging,

Right?

You want to purge the mental and the emotional and the physical aspects of anger.

Also,

If you get angry at another person,

It's not like it's the most horrible thing in the world,

But it's how you recover from that.

What I mean by that is maybe you can bring yourself to a place where you say,

I apologize,

You know,

For my anger.

I was trying to express this and I felt overwhelmed because that's what it is.

It's when you feel like you can't communicate or you're not given the space to communicate or you don't feel safe and you have to just kind of shout it out.

There's like an overwhelming side of you and that's why you're getting angry.

Let me see if I can create a meditation that's going to help you with everything that we've talked about.

So let's meditate together.

If you can sit nice and straight for me,

Close down your eyes and come to a place of stillness in your seated position.

And when you're completely still,

Just get a good,

Quick feel for where your body is at.

Make sure that you're comfortable and shuffle around if you need to.

Any final movements.

Take your focus and attention to the space around your eyes.

Relax your eyebrows.

See if you can soften your forehead.

With your eyes closed,

Just move your eyes down as if you're looking all the way down towards your cheeks.

Strain your eyes,

Pulling them all the way down as if you're trying to look inside of your cheeks from the inside.

Feel that slight strain.

And then if you slowly relax your eyes,

Let them come back up to looking straight forward as if they were staring out in front of you.

And then do the opposite and go all the way up with your eyes closed,

But look up as if you're looking up to the center of your skull.

Create that pull,

That tension as you do so.

Stare up,

Stare up,

Stare up,

And then relax your eyes back down to staring in front.

Let's go all the way over to the left as if you're trying to look at your left ear.

Really,

Really go all the way over and around.

Strain,

Push and strain,

And then relax.

Let your eyes slowly roll back to center.

And then the opposite,

Go all the way over to the right,

Pushing,

Straining as if you're trying to turn your eyes round so that you can see your right ear.

Push all the way around.

Relax,

Let go,

But feel your eyes slowly roll back into the middle.

Creating a sense of spaciousness around your eyes,

But now they'll feel all nice and relaxed,

Like they just had a little workout.

Come down to your jaw and just tense your jaw for me.

Cleanse your teeth together,

Just a little bit,

Not too much,

Just a little bit so you can feel that tension in your jaw.

And then slowly let go of it.

Open your mouth the tiniest bit and let your bottom jaw completely relax.

Pull your shoulders all the way up to your ears.

Physically pull them all the way up.

Squeeze them up to your ears so it feels tense and uncomfortable.

Squeeze it all the way up there and then let them slowly just drop and relax.

Feel the burn and then feel it release.

And now I'd like you to bring your attention down to the base of your spine.

Feel your sit bones on your chair.

Right down here where your root chakra is.

Feel the solidity of whatever it is that you're sat on,

Whether it's a chair or the ground,

Sofa,

Wherever you're at.

Just feel that connection with your body and that which is holding you.

Slow down your breathing now.

Relax even more in your body.

Nice long slow deep breaths.

Imagine that you're sat in a room and everything in this room is what's required of you to feel safe.

There's food in the cupboards.

There's a fridge somewhere in the room that's full and stocked with food so that you can feel nurtured and nourished.

There's a big comfortable bed maybe over on one of the sides of the room and on that you can rest.

This dwelling has a roof above you,

Walls,

Windows,

A door.

It's a place that you're cocooned in,

A place where you can feel protected.

There's a fireplace that keeps it comfortable and warm.

So this is a place of comfort.

Your dwelling is next to many other dwellings and daily you can go outside and communicate with your neighbors,

Your friends,

The community.

It has a community and within that community you feel heard.

Your opinions,

Your voice,

Your expression is welcome.

It's accepted.

It's important in this community and you feel heard.

If you're not seen for a few days or maybe you decide that you're working on a project with inside of your cocoon,

Your safe space,

People notice.

You're missed.

Within this community you are seen.

You're safe.

You're nurtured with the food.

You're heard and valued in the community.

You're seen for who you are.

You have everything that you need in this reality and if you can just imagine yourself there,

If you can just imagine yourself all of those senses,

All of those feelings,

Those needs be met.

Allow yourself to feel what that would feel like in your body.

Just imagine this is your reality.

You're acknowledged.

You're valued.

You're seen.

You're heard.

You're nurtured.

You're safe.

You're warm.

All of your needs are met.

Maybe there's someone in that cottage where the need of love is met.

Maybe there doesn't have to be because you love yourself.

You're in love with yourself.

You're in love with the person that you are.

All of your needs are met and within that sense of completion inside of you,

What would be threatened?

What would it take to make you angry about something small?

You're not threatened because you feel complete.

Your needs are met.

You're capable.

You're comfortable and confident.

If you feel this feeling inside of your body and you acknowledge that this is the feeling that you can bring back with you so that when you're in your reality,

You can remember that this is an aspect of who you are.

You don't have to quickly fall into a place of fear.

Because you have this like almost like a golden rod that goes down your spine that feeds the rest of the body and reminds the rest of the body and the mind that you have everything that you need inside of you.

When you bring that back into your reality,

Maybe you'll process anger when it comes into your field differently.

Just allow yourself to have that chance.

Bring in this feeling of completeness,

Of all it takes is to feel safe,

To be acknowledged,

To be heard,

To be seen,

To be valued,

To be loved.

All of those basic needs.

How do I make sure that all of those basic needs are met in my reality?

This is a beautiful reality that you're in right now in this cocoon with everything that you need.

But it's different from your real life.

So when you bring this golden rod of knowing back with you,

Start to think about how you can make these things be so in your reality.

Working from the root up around anger,

Starting at the ground,

Making sure that your foundation is good is what's important.

I'm going to count to five and then you can come back with this golden rod of knowledge this container of all that is required so that you can feel safe and not be in fear and not be angry.

I'm going to count to five and you can bring that wisdom and awareness back with you so that you can work with it on the other side.

One,

Two,

Three,

Four,

Five.

And open your eyes and come back into this reality.

Come back with the knowing and the wisdom already there inside of you.

Namaste,

My friends.