To begin this guided forgiveness practice,
I want to first share some reflections on the term equanimity.
Equanimity is sometimes described as even-mindedness.
It's a letting go,
Non-attachment,
Or non-discrimination.
It is the capacity to hold a balanced view.
To be clear,
We do not have to strive to be equanimous or to forgive,
But we can aspire to move closer towards this wholesome quality.
And we can do so by listening to the wisdom available to us,
By developing a moral sensitivity to what is harmful and what is of benefit.
And finally,
We can develop equanimity through our meditation practice and our efforts to better understand and train our own minds.
On equanimous,
One is neither clinging nor aversive towards oneself or others.
There is a natural letting go and forgiveness of past hurts.
Equanimity is therefore marked by impartiality,
Where one is able to look deeply and see more than the words or behaviors one is witnessing in oneself or others,
And to see the suffering,
The joys,
And the universal wish for safety and happiness.
In cultivating equanimity,
We're not trying to control what cannot be controlled.
But we do find peace and fulfillment in being able to not be overtaken by whatever occurs in our lives,
Whether pleasant or unpleasant.
During this guided practice,
If it feels too painful or if at any point if you feel flooded with emotion,
Simply turn your awareness towards something that is calming,
Like resting your attention on the breath or repeating a soothing phrase and provide yourself with self-reassurance.
It is okay.
I am safe.
Take a moment to connect with the mind and body.
Is the mind aware?
Is the body relaxed?
Bring your awareness to the breath and know that you can return to any of these anchors again and again.
In this forgiveness practice,
We will begin with self-forgiveness.
Let's take some time to care for something that you continue to feel shame about or judge yourself for.
It could be from the past or something more recent where you recognize that you had caused harm to either yourself or others.
As you reflect on this,
Know that it is not necessary to go into all the details.
Know that there are many causes and conditions that lead to what we feel remorse for.
Through the lens of compassion and equanimity,
I offer myself forgiveness as much as I can.
Forgiveness for when I was not aware.
Forgiveness for when my heart was closed off or when my speech or actions have caused harm.
For this I am sorry.
In this moment,
I forgive myself.
To bring us into balance,
Take a moment to also connect with your goodness.
Connect with the wholesome desire to be safe and happy.
You are more than any wrongdoing and I encourage you to be gentle,
Loving,
And curious towards however you are responding to this practice.
Know that you have and continue to do the best that you can.
Know that whatever you feel capable of in this moment is okay.
This is how it is,
Just for now.
Now let us offer forgiveness to someone else.
Choose someone where it does not feel too difficult to open and soften your heart towards them.
Perhaps it is a loved one,
A friend,
A colleague,
Someone you have been or continue to have difficulty with.
It can even be an encounter with a stranger that has been challenging to let go of.
Bring this person to mind.
I offer you forgiveness as much as I can.
With compassion and equanimity,
I see your humanity.
I know that there are many causes and conditions that led to your unskillful speech and actions.
Take a moment to also connect with the other's goodness,
To the wholesome desire to be safe and happy.
They too are more than their wrongdoing,
And I encourage you to be gentle,
Loving,
And curious towards both yourself and the other as you connect with them through this practice.
Know that like you,
They are doing the best that they can,
And that their harmful speech or actions are rooted in their suffering.
It takes so many conditions to be well.
So many factors contribute to our well-being,
And we are all vulnerable to not having the internal and external resources needed to thrive.
Allow this knowledge to settle in.
May it inspire you to be equanimous,
To hold a balanced view,
To be equal in your view of self and others.
May our efforts to offer forgiveness,
To cultivate greater compassion and equanimity,
May it be for the benefit of all beings.
May all beings be safe,
May all beings be happy,
And may our efforts make it so.
