A Calm Meditation For Anger, Frustration, And Disappointment

Hi,

This is Ed Fox,

And welcome to this calming meditation for frustration,

Anger,

Disappointment.

You know,

These emotions are so difficult to avoid.

In today's world,

There's so many pressures socially,

Financially,

Economically,

That it's impossible for us not to feel these emotions.

The key is to have a method,

A meditation,

That can bring us back to our center,

That can remind us that within us,

We have the ability to calm ourselves down,

To rewire our brain,

So that we're less likely to fall prey to these emotions.

So let's begin.

Sit comfortably and close your eyes.

Take a nice,

Deep breath,

Breathing in through your nose and letting it out through your mouth or nose,

Whichever is most comfortable for you.

Good.

Feel the release and exhale.

Let's do another in-breath.

And notice how our mind gets a little calmer,

A little spacier,

Even though the feelings are there.

Allow yourself to feel an inner quietness.

Invite an inner quietness to come into your mind.

Good,

Yeah,

Good.

Don't try to push out these thoughts,

These feelings of aggression or frustration or anger or fear.

Just be with them,

But also become more aware of them.

Oh,

There you are,

Frustration,

I see you.

I am frustrated.

Oh,

I am disappointment.

Let's look at that disappointment without judgment.

Yeah,

And just notice it.

We can still feel it,

But instead of reacting,

We can feel it,

Yet notice it,

Become aware of it.

Let's do that for a moment.

Good.

It's sort of like saying,

Oh,

There you are,

Frustration,

Anger,

Fear,

Disappointment,

There you are,

I see you.

And you kind of give it permission to be there.

You're human.

Sure,

We don't want to feel it,

But give it permission to be there because it's there.

Something happened.

So you're kind of learning to dance with it here for a moment.

We certainly want to do more than just dance with it,

But that's the first thing.

Let's just be with it,

But be aware of it and not get lost in it.

Go ahead and do that for a moment.

Now,

Even this can be calming.

All right.

So now I want you to ask yourself,

What am I feeling?

I'm feeling frustrated.

Yes.

Yes.

And I'm watching my frustration.

It doesn't have all of me.

Say that to yourself.

My frustration does not have all of me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

There's room for me to be aware of my anger,

My fear.

Good.

Now you're beginning to give yourself some elbow room.

You've taken maybe the urgency out of feeling this feeling and wanting to run away and avoid it and feeling bad.

So with this elbow room,

Let's ask ourselves,

What happened to make me feel this way?

What triggered me to go into this negative thinking,

This fear,

This feeling of disappointment,

Anger,

Or frustration?

What was it?

Was it the way someone looked at me?

Was it the choice of words that someone used?

Was it a situation that seemed to trigger me,

An event?

Take a moment and ask yourself.

Good.

Okay.

Okay.

So where do you think those triggers came from?

Ask yourself,

Is there someone in my past,

Maybe when I was younger,

That looked at me that certain way the very first time and it hurt?

It was a horrible situation.

And somewhere in my mind,

I decided I don't ever want to have this situation again.

And that decision,

Like a belief,

Is there waiting for a setup so I can be triggered out of self-defense to not want to feel it again,

Not want to experience it again.

You see,

These are what our triggers are made out of,

Where they come from.

Our parents,

Our relatives,

Our sisters,

Our brothers,

Our teachers,

Religious leaders.

Unknowingly,

They say or do or look at us in a certain way,

And we feel something very deeply.

We make a decision about it.

Usually,

It's that it's our fault,

That I did something wrong when that wasn't true.

But as a young child,

We always believe that it's our fault or we could have done better.

And somewhere deep in our mind,

This trigger is being formed,

That when someone looks at me that way,

When someone says a certain thing that way,

When the situation around me looks threatening,

May not be,

But it looks threatening,

Then I get triggered.

It's a coping mechanism that our own being,

Out of the sense of survival,

Creates.

But somewhere along the line,

As we grow up,

We no longer need it.

You see,

That's what our triggers are all about.

So right now,

I want you to think about your triggers and try to remember where that trigger got established in your timeline and also in your mind.

I'll give you a minute or so to do that.

This could release a lot of emotion for you,

And that's okay,

Let the emotion out.

Because what you're seeing is the formation of a belief system about yourself and about your world that creates a trigger.

Because you don't want to feel it again,

But I'm asking you to feel it now and see that you can feel it and release it.

Feeling is the basis of healing.

If your parents were yelling at you or beat you or neglected you,

Feel it and say,

That happened a long time ago,

When things were out of my control,

And now is a totally different story.

My personal history does not have to repeat itself,

Not in the same way.

And I want to release this trigger.

Say that to yourself.

I want to release this trigger.

I let it go.

Feel the emotion.

Feel the emotion that you were afraid to feel and go,

I can feel this.

I can feel this pain with awareness and not get lost.

I can feel this disappointment,

But I didn't get what I wanted or my relationship broke up or I lost a lot of money.

I can feel it and watch it and let it go.

And as you let it go,

Just allow yourself to feel it and watch the feelings move around inside your body,

Get stronger,

Get weaker,

And eventually subside.

And feel the lightness of it going.

Ah,

Yes.

Feel the beauty of you returning back to your pure,

Your innocent self.

Feel the joy of experiencing what you were so afraid to experience.

Now you can experience it and let it go.

Bravo.

And let's do one more thing.

Maybe more,

But at least let's use the word forgiveness.

Forgiveness is powerful because it creates connection.

We can say,

I forgive my mom and dad for doing that because they didn't know any better.

I forgive my partner for looking at me that way because they're afraid as well.

We're all trying to be happy,

But sometimes we express it incorrectly,

Incompletely.

And I can forgive those who want to love me,

But choose a way that may not be so loving.

Forgiving doesn't mean that what they did was okay.

The forgiving is a healing for yourself.

You don't have to run up to everyone and say,

Please forgive me,

Or I forgive you.

We feel it within,

And we notice there's a release when we forgive.

We see that we're really all one being,

Trying to find love,

Trying to find connection.

It missed our fear of not getting it,

Our fear of being hurt,

Our fear of being vulnerable.

So let's forgive them.

And forgive ourselves for not wanting to feel it,

For not wanting to face it.

And take a deep breath and let it go.

We forgive and surrender.

Because all that we really have power to do in this life,

Is to change how we read the story of the life that we're living.

How we create the interpretation of what's happening.

Right?

We can't change people that don't want to be changed.

It's out of our control.

What we can control is our interpretation of it.

And that interpretation is now one of,

Oh,

It's making me feel this,

Let me feel it.

Release it and forgive it.

And when we do that,

What happens?

We become stronger.

We become more powerful.

We become more insulated,

More aware,

And less likely to be triggered.

Less likely to believe the stories of our past that tell us that we're not good enough,

We're not pretty enough.

This contacting of this deep source within us is what happens when we are no longer tossed about by our wounds,

By our beliefs,

By our triggers.

And this is the beginning of an inner strength.

An inner strength where we live from this essence of who we are.

And this essence of who we are fills us,

Becomes a foundation from which we live our lives.

Where we are not exempt from feeling emotions,

But these emotions no longer rule us,

No longer take over a life,

No longer send us on an endless journey of anger,

Frustration,

And disappointment,

And judgment.

They no longer put us in a place where we feel weak.

They just become part of life.

The memories of our past become memories that no longer trigger us,

Which enables us to make a choice in every moment of how we want to react to the world,

To our lovers,

To our friends,

To our spouses.

And when we have this choice,

We have a great power.

Now I'd like you to sort of come back to your chair,

Come back to the present moment.

Feel the joy and the release inside of you.

Give yourself some time before opening your eyes,

Or if you want you can just continue meditating.

But I'll say goodbye,

Good luck,

Love to you all,

And thank you for taking this journey with me.

Take care.

Have a great day.