I Am That - Session 37 - Chapter 15 - The Gnyani - Part 3

It's best I do a question-answer session.

You become very clear about religious conditioning and see whether you are able to shed it.

The first part of the chapter you become very clear and then we can go into the second part next week.

I have used it as a clutch,

As a support,

As a pillar.

Okay,

Something happened,

I can blame it on something.

Something is not happening,

I can blame it on that.

But today's session and even before that I have been thinking about this.

When you made me realize that all of this is just my dream,

Then even that God is my dream.

But in that dream I am holding on to this God.

So the ego has struggled and is still struggling a little bit.

How do I let it go?

I know that this is wrong,

This is not the truth.

There is no God that is giving me something or taking something away from me.

But then there is this,

Okay,

What do I hold on to now?

I have nothing to hold on to.

You have taken everything from me.

Everything is gone.

But sense of I am is your ground.

The earth has been given to you.

The crops have been taken away.

The earth has been given to you.

The ground,

The foundation has been given to you.

That is bigger,

The consciousness.

So that is what I think,

I think it's this little bit that personality is saying,

Oh,

But then I have nothing else to hold on to.

That small personality,

Maheshwari personality wants something to hold.

Are you that person?

No.

Then if that person is false,

If that person is an illusion,

Then everything that person is holding on to is also an illusion,

No?

How can one thing be real in the dream world?

Oh,

This thing is real and everything else is an illusion.

No,

All of it is an illusion,

All or none law.

So courage,

That's why he said,

You have to have the daring,

The courage,

The courage to let go of this conditioning.

Let this sink in this week and see how it takes its color,

Its form.

It's the first time you're hearing something so direct from Maharaj,

No?

So let it sink in.

Don't be too hard on yourself.

You are not the personality called Maheshwari.

You just keep shuttling.

You go back to it,

Thinking I am this.

Again and again,

Come back to your correct stand.

Be kind to yourself.

Oh,

Again,

I slipped.

I thought I was Maheshwari.

But till the time I thought I was Maheshwari,

Then Maheshwari believed in this God and that statue and that religious right and that guru and that religion,

That organization only and only this dharma and not that dharma,

Believed in divide.

Oh,

No,

Everything is an illusion.

All of it,

All of it is a lie.

There cannot be one thing that is right.

How can one thing be right in a big lie?

All of it is a lie.

So now I have to just recognize again and again that I am not this personality called Maheshwari.

I am the consciousness,

The foundation,

The earth.

I am the earth.

Whatever grows on it belongs to God.

I've got nothing to do with him.

That point was so amazing that whatever is there in this personal world or whatever is not there,

It does not belong to me.

That is such a relief actually.

So now there is nothing to blame,

Nothing to praise.

This is the meaning of early signs of awakening.

Now I am getting relieved of that suffering.

Suffering was only till I thought I am Maheshwari,

The personality,

And then I am trapped in this personal world of mine.

And then there comes blame and there comes praise.

There comes good,

There comes bad.

There comes I am suffering.

Oh,

No,

I am enjoying.

All these opposites come with the belief that I am the personality.

Now when I recognize,

Oh,

I am the consciousness,

The awareness,

And in that this is just a projection.

This is just like a movie.

It's not real.

Then what is there to suffer?

Why am I crying along with the hero,

Heroine?

Oh,

Let them do their dance.

Let them do their drama.

Let them do their tragedy,

Their comedy.

I just sit back and relax,

Witness what is happening.

It's a game.

Yes.

And now I know when Buddha said,

You know,

Walk in the middle,

Walk on the middle path,

That is the hardest.

Extremes are easy.

Like fasting is easy or eating too much is easy.

But eating the right amount is very hard.

Correct.

Perfect.

Perfect.

Now you come to the middle path.

This chapter was amazing.

Thank you.

Half the chapter.

Only half.

Yes.

So far,

Half.

Yes.

You know,

God has been a label that has been used for something that is unknown.

Yeah.

You know,

Doing whatever happens.

In Advaita,

We've been using another label,

That is Maya,

For the unknown projections and,

You know,

Beliefs.

So is it right to say Maya is God?

Yes,

Absolutely.

It's nothing else but Maya.

Yeah.

The one who wants to be something,

The one who wants to do something,

That is the one projecting everything.

That is the Maya.

And then it traps you in its illusion.

The magician on stage doesn't just produce an illusion.

He ensures that everybody in the audience is trapped in that illusion,

Believes it to be real.

So the magician himself is Maya.

He is God also.

He is creating.

The creator of this magnificent illusion is God.

And that God is nothing but me only.

I forget my stand and become that.

That is Maya.

Me forgetting my stand.

How did that happen?

There was a veil on my eyes and I could not see my own true nature.

That is called the veiling power of Maya.

And the second part of Maya is the projecting power of Maya.

It projects this entire beautiful magic world in which I get trapped.

And then I start believing I am this body mind.

And I am in this world,

World of matter.

So how do I recognize this?

Oh,

I have this sense early in the morning when I am just arising out of the darkness of deep sleep.

There is a clear distinction.

I am simply the awareness that knows that the body is lying on bed and snoring.

And I am knowing it.

I can see that there are thoughts,

All blurry thoughts,

Not really formed sensible thoughts,

Some images running here and there.

I am clearly aware I'm separate from it.

And then there comes a time when you get trapped in your dream only.

You get trapped in one of the dreams and you become the dream character and you forget this distance.

You forget that you are witnessing and you become the dream subject of whatever dream you're seeing.

And slowly you come to the waking dream and here you become the dream subject immediately.

The becoming has started already in the sleeping dream.

And it continues into the waking dream.

That is why it is too late to try to realize here in the waking dream.

It's too late.

Where do I have to realize it?

In my sleeping dream.

That is why I insist that you become more and more awake and aware early in the morning.

And don't keep an alarm to wake up because you just jar yourself out of the darkness of deep sleep directly to waking.

You miss this interim.

This is where you can actually know yourself.

That is where the Swapna Nidra Dhyana,

That wisdom took birth right here in between these two states.

Really.

Yeah.

So attempt to be more and more aware,

Aware and awake every morning.

Then only can you carry that distance.

The moment you recognize the distance,

You carry it.

Now you carry it through all the dreams and then you carry it into your waking state.

And the one who carries this distance throughout every day.

Throughout the day,

Every single day,

In every cycle,

He is the gyani.

Because he does not leave his stand.

He does not become one.

He does not become the person.

Is this clear?

Yeah.

So this this is your magic.

Magic place where you can really move from being an a gyani to gyani.

From being ignorant to the wise one.

So work on this area.

If you have not started doing it,

Please take this down as homework.

This is not just for the person who's asking the question.

It's for everybody.

Every morning I make an attempt to be aware just before waking up.

Every night I make an attempt to lie down.

Put it right next to your bed.

On your night table you should have a little post it.

Be aware.

Be awake.

You do not sleep.

Only the body mind sleeps and recognize that.

Close your eyes and see.

See,

I don't sleep.

It's the body mind that is sleeping.

And continue with that understanding and then let sleep happen to the body mind.

This has to be a continuous daily experiment for you to really see the truth and get established in that distance.

So this this is never bridged again.

Yeah.

This divorce should happen.

This is the only divorce that is allowed.

The divorce between I the consciousness and this so-called personality that I thought I am.

Divorce with no settlement.

Nothing.

No.

No way to go back.

No remarriage allowed.

Final.

The final divorce should happen.

And then this distance is never bridged.

Never bridged.

I the consciousness never ever lose my stand.

Not in the waking state.

Not in the dream state.

And in deep sleep state.

This is not there only.

Just I am.

I wanted to share something,

Didi.

It depends on,

I think it depends on the stand that one is looking at this.

But this is from my experience.

I've realized that,

Oh,

This is not happening in the sense.

God was there because of finding some relief or solace.

That was the reason.

Afterwards,

I realized,

Like,

There is no experience of relief.

Like,

There is no relief.

There is no solace.

It became clear,

Like,

Oh,

I am that relief.

I am that solace.

So that's why this experiencing of,

Like,

That thing itself wasn't happening.

Then I realized,

Oh,

This is why it's not happening.

Yes.

So I think.

I was looking in the wrong direction.

I had to change the direction to find the solace.

I had to change the direction that I was looking in.

Yeah.

God is outside.

I had to look towards me.

I,

The consciousness,

Am first.

Superb.

Very nice.

The content of the dream is not important.

We are not focusing on.

It doesn't matter what rubbish content is there.

What is important is I am separate from the dream.

Yes.

That distance is important.

It doesn't matter what the content of the dream is.

You don't even have to bother about the content.

But recognizing very clearly,

I am simply witnessing.

Ekta,

The dream character,

Running away from the tiger in the dream.

But I am not Ekta,

The dream character.

I am separate.

So there is a clear distance between the dream character of the sleeping dream.

Or dream subject of the sleeping dream.

And I,

The witness.

Now this I carry into my waking state.

I recognize when the eyes open.

The eyes open of this person called Ekta.

But I am clearly awareness,

Which is at a distance.

I am noticing that this body's eyes are opening.

I am noticing that this body has stopped snoring.

And I am noticing that this body is now throwing the blanket away.

I am completely separate.

I am not this personality called Ekta that I labeled as I previously.

Do you see this?

The positioning of I has to move from here.

To here,

The awareness.

This is symbolic.

Now the awareness is not on the right hand side behind me.

Otherwise again you will go and put that down somewhere.

You know she used to do her hand like this.

So it is on the right hand side behind here.

No.

It is all around.

Yes,

Everything is awareness.

Is me,

The awareness.

Me,

The consciousness.

This clear distancing between the localized body mind.

And the limitless awareness consciousness that I am.

This distance becomes very clear.

And continues throughout in my waking state.

Then I am very clear.

Whatever this body mind personality is doing is illusory.

Is a projection.

It is beliefs.

It is conditioning.

It is thinking.

It is ideas.

It says I like this.

I don't like this.

This is right.

This is wrong.

Everything is an illusion.

Because I clearly see that I,

The consciousness,

The awareness cannot do.

I cannot act.

I cannot think.

I just know.

This is not who I am.

This is who I am.

Clear?

So,

Don't bother about the content of the waking dream or the sleeping dream.

We don't care about the content.

The focus should be on developing the distance between the witness consciousness and the subject that I thought I was.

So,

Sometimes when I know I have dreamt but I don't remember what I dreamt,

Does it mean that I was totally involved as a dream character?

Is that why I don't remember?

No.

You said I don't remember.

Means who doesn't remember?

Means I was separate from the dream,

No?

The content was not so strong enough,

Not impressionable enough to become a memory impression.

And that's good.

The less the impressions,

The easier it is going to be.

People take it as a bad thing,

No?

If you are a forgetful person,

I say forgetful person is sada sukhi,

Very happy.

He does not create impressions.

He does not hold on to impressions.

Happy person.

So,

It's good if you don't remember the content.

But don't try to decipher why I don't remember and does it mean this.

Again,

You are lost in dream world analysis.

Okay.

Thank you,

Ma'am.

Thank you.

I come from a very strong religious upbringing.

So,

Dwaitam upbringing.

So,

I went to India after a gap of two and a half years,

Which is after I started learning Advaita the first time.

So,

My mom is into puja path and everything.

Every morning she will do that.

And when she saw that I was not participating like before,

She was kind of in a shock.

And she will start clapping loudly and start singing to draw my attention.

And I'm like,

She's like Divya,

I'm doing puja.

I'm like,

I know you are doing.

She's like,

Come,

Come here.

Come participate with me.

So,

I was not trying to be disrespectful to her.

So,

I was just trying,

Like for me,

You are God.

So,

I would just fold my hands and bow down to her.

And she's like,

No,

No,

No,

Pay attention over there in the Mandir.

So,

It's just,

She was not able to grasp that.

And then she's like,

Yeh toh gayi hai bhi.

Yeh nahi maana.

I just wanted to share that.

Yeah,

That's fine.

Don't try to change the Dwaitam belief of somebody else in your personal world because that person is also your own projection.

Now,

That movie will continue till its seed withers off.

If it's a 10-hour movie,

That 10-hour movie is going to continue.

Right?

Yeah,

So let it continue.

Don't sit and fight with your own previous projections.

They are your own projections.

You have no evidence of the existence of your mother in India.

Yeah,

It's your own projection.

So,

It's a past projection of mine.

I projected such a strong seed.

It's probably going to last this lifetime.

May it last.

It doesn't matter to me.

It is of no concern of mine.

Yeah.

My wife is in Dwaitam Path and she has seen me progressing in this.

And earlier,

She used to sort of say that you have changed and all that.

But when I forwarded a few of your WhatsApp messages and all the details,

She got so… what I can say… She has become a member of the WhatsApp group and now she starts looking at it and she understands the profoundity of what is received by her.

And now she has probably started seeing the Ardvaita path in its way,

Actually.

Even I am surprised because she has very strongly rooted in the Dwaitam Path and does hours of puja daily.

But now she understands what is the sense of Ayam and you know,

Small lectures which you have sent,

I used to follow.

And now she has become the member of the Jnanatanga WhatsApp group.

And she is very much into it.

That is also your projection.

You wanted my Hamsafar should walk with me on my spiritual path.

There your Hamsafar started walking with you.

Your projection.

True.

Good.

If you watch Maharaj's documentary on… It's on Netflix or YouTube,

I forgot.

Rays of the Absolute.

In that documentary,

First video,

First thing that Maharaj has told a seeker,

Take all your gods,

Idols and pictures and put them into the river.

Let them go.

Get rid of all the mantelpiece and all the religious conditioning that you have.

Let them all go.

So if you think that,

Yes,

I am ready for something like that,

You can do that this week and become totally free.

But that is your wish.

If you are ready and if you want to do it.