How To Create More Balance In Your Life - Live Talk

So the talk for tonight is around balance.

And I've come to realize that most of my work at this point,

It may change,

But at this point seems to be around reminding myself,

Because we're all in this together,

You and I,

This thing called life,

All having a go at it,

Or reminding anyone who crosses my path of the importance of balance in life.

So I'm going to start off by just sharing with you my logo.

This is from my website,

And it's the logo for the six-week course that I run outside of Insight Time,

Which some of you may have already experienced,

But this really denotes everything that I'm going to try and put forward in our short time together here.

This simple image,

This simple sketch,

No expense spared again by the creative department of Ian Tucker Inc.

We have really two lines on a page.

And I guess this is your life,

This image.

This is my life.

This is whatever we're going through.

This is our relationship with ourself.

This is our relationship with others.

This is our career.

This is our financial situation.

This is our health.

This is our life.

Let me explain.

So let's just for simplicity say that this top line here is the stuff,

The things that come to test you and I in life.

And there is always something.

This talk isn't some sort of happy clapper,

Nothing ever goes wrong.

We're having a go,

As I said,

At this thing called reality,

Getting our way through.

So let's just say that this line here is the stuff.

This could be anxiety.

This could be worry.

This could be uncertainty.

If we go a little bit deeper,

It could be what's causing it.

It could be a relationship.

It could be health.

It could be finances.

It could be anything that you sort of phrase as not ideal for you at this point in your life.

And then we have a space.

There is always a space under the stuff.

Remember that.

And we have a single line that seems to denote maybe an antidote or the answer or simplicity or an okayness.

This can be whatever you want it to be.

But for the purpose of this talk,

We're going to spend time here,

You and I,

In the space between the stuff and how ideally we would like it to be.

And this is mindfulness,

This space.

This is awareness.

This is self-care.

In other words,

When you and I allow ourselves to spend some time here,

We can see both ways.

We can realize that we can disconnect from the stuff,

That we don't have to be trapped there.

The truth is whatever you and I are going through at the moment is completely temporary.

Everything is.

Science,

Common sense,

Philosophy,

Religion,

All has one constant message,

The temporary nature of all things.

So when we come out of this stuff and sit in a lovely group like this for a while,

We can remind ourselves,

First of all,

Looking back,

If we look through a softer,

Wider lens,

That everything comes and everything goes.

So perhaps the only thing you and I have to remember in this space of awareness,

Mindfulness,

Self-care,

Is to take care of ourself as this stuff happens to us.

Because it's going to go.

It's going to move on.

So we have another way of looking at this.

This might be denoted as balance,

If you like.

And I've got times in my life where I've turned it upside down.

I know that because of the nature of my work,

Teaching meditation,

Mindfulness,

I spend sometimes too long in silence.

I become insular.

I become disconnected from people and society.

So I sit here and realize that actually more of the stuff is what I need.

So we can cut this lots of different ways,

But the main thing is one creates the other,

Balance.

So let's talk about balance.

I've come to know that balance is the key to anything that works in life.

Let me say that again.

Balance is the key to anything that works in life.

For something to be healthy,

For something to work well,

For something to flow,

There has to be a degree of balance.

Nature gets it.

We have the sun and the moon.

We have the tides.

We have the four seasons.

You don't see a tree on an autumn day grasping fearfully at the leaves,

Shouting,

Don't leave me.

The tree knows.

As the leaves nourish the soil,

A degree of balance means that nutrients are going to come back.

It's everywhere.

So if balance works in nature,

If balance works in machinery and mechanical items,

Don't forget,

I'll use the example of a hairdryer.

God knows why.

It's been 27 years since I picked one up.

But if we leave a hairdryer on and it just starts to run,

It's going to burn out.

If we just leave anything on for a period of time that needs to be plugged in or energized,

It's going to burn out.

So why would it be any different for us?

Balance is the key to all things in life.

So how do we start to bring this sort of meaning off the screen,

Off the page?

How can we bring it more into our lives?

Well,

What I've done on the course that I sort of present and in workshops and things over the years is developed a very simple exercise against a real ancient approach to our well-being,

A holistic approach to our well-being.

So keep in mind that balance is the key to all things in life.

And let me introduce you to the second high-glossy,

High-quality image of the evening.

So here's the balance note.

Okay,

Here's our nod towards the logo from earlier.

And now if you've got a pen and a piece of paper,

I would love you,

In fact,

If you haven't,

Just reach for one now,

Go and get one,

Because you can plant a seed during our time together here.

So this is a holistic sort of approach to you and I.

This is us as a whole.

And what I've done is taken a circle and I've split it four ways.

And then I've looked at the four recognized areas of holistic wellness for a human being.

So we have physical.

We have spiritual.

We have emotional.

And we have mental.

Four areas that whichever way you cut it,

If you excuse the pun,

Make up who we are.

So let's just say that we're willing to accept that by introducing more balance into our life,

Then we're going to be in a better place.

And rather than just reacting,

Which is a great place to start,

Awareness is always the first step on any journey to wellness,

From A to B.

So rather than just react,

What about if we can gently be more proactive and start to look at our lives on a slightly deeper level?

Still very simple,

Easy to follow,

But we start to gently take control of how,

With whom,

And where we spend our time.

So when that stuff happens,

And it will,

To you and I,

There is always something that comes to test us,

We have this deeper template where we can step back and find balance.

So let me take you through these four areas.

First of all,

We have physical.

The physicality,

The movement,

The health,

If you like,

Of our human form.

Quite an easy one,

Really,

To sort of get our heads around.

So we have physical.

We have emotional.

And for the purpose of this short exercise and our short time together,

I'd like you to think of emotional as how you feel.

I feel a certain way.

An emotion for me is a reaction to something.

Something that I've experienced or witnessed creates an emotion in me,

A feeling.

So for the purpose of this,

Physicality,

How I am physically,

How I move,

My health.

Emotional,

How I feel.

Mental,

How I think,

The mental capacity of us.

So mental,

Our mental state,

How I think,

My thoughts.

Are they relentless?

Can I create space?

Are they more positive than negative?

Do they linger?

Am I able to think big with hopeful thoughts?

Or do I tend to be more immediate?

We'll come on to that.

So that's mental.

And then we have this fourth one.

Maybe the sort of distant cousin of the group for many,

Spiritual.

And this can be a turnoff for a lot of people.

It denotes for a lot of people religion.

And whilst I have no sort of big thoughts around religion,

There can be a dogma attached to reading the books and living a certain way.

But spirituality for me is simply the contemplation of something that's bigger or something that is there,

Something that isn't there,

Something that I might sense on a certain day,

Something that eludes me for a period of time.

But I've come to know that without that fourth segment,

This holistic approach to well-being is very difficult.

So spirituality can be anything you want it to be.

But for me,

It's the contemplation of something that's bigger,

Maybe some part of me that I can tap into that offers guidance and protection and love and compassion.

Maybe it's birdsong that stops me in my tracks on a certain day or an ancient oak tree down a country lane.

It can be anything that reminds us that everything's OK.

Actually,

We're going through day to day,

But everything is OK.

So let's start this process,

Folks.

What I'd like you to do in the comments,

Let's start with physical.

Now,

The aim of this exercise is very simple,

But can be very profound.

So we're going to take one of these at a time,

And then we're going to think of things that if you were to,

Maybe they're already in your life,

Or if you were to introduce them more into your life,

There would be a bigger tick in this box.

Remember,

It's all about balance.

So let's start with physicality.

Give me some ideas in the comments box that what you could do to create balance within this segment,

Physicality within your life.

What could that be?

And no answer is wrong,

Because a throwaway line from you could really plant a seed with somebody else.

Brilliant,

Abby.

Yoga,

There we go.

There's a theme.

S says yoga as well.

Walking nature,

Wonderful.

Qigong,

I hope I've said that.

I don't think I've ever said Qigong the same way twice.

Walk more,

Says LJ.

And yoga,

A walk in nature.

Nature comes up big in more than one segment.

Walking in mother nature,

There we go.

Maiki,

That's wonderful.

Sleep.

So sleep,

We don't tend to think of as physicality,

But try doing two to three nights without and see how you feel.

Thank you for that.

Swimming,

Mate.

You're just showing off,

Maisy,

Because you're by the ocean.

Swimming,

Says Maisy.

Brilliant,

Sophie.

Healthy eating.

So there's balance within the balance.

We're talking about nutrition.

We're talking about movement.

We're talking about where we spend our time.

Walking with dogs,

Says Jude.

So we start to get ideas about what can help us out in this segment of the holistic model.

Don't underestimate this,

Folks.

It's OK knowing it and it's OK feeling good saying it,

But start to place it on the page in the segment.

Really understand that true self-care comes from awareness,

From clarity,

And then to move into the direction of what you've realised really helps.

Now,

Let's move on and look at emotional.

What do you think would make you feel better?

On a daily basis,

On an hourly basis,

Whenever you tap into something,

What would make you feel better?

Just think of that word.

This makes me feel good.

These people make me feel good.

And again,

Using the comments.

Connection now.

Wonderful.

Something that I underestimated for many years when I went on a slightly different path.

Anna says blissful activity.

Wonderful,

Anna.

Would you mind telling us,

Because I'm really interested by that,

What you mean by that,

If you don't mind.

Gratitude is perfect to say thank you,

To realise all that we have in life.

Catherine says sunshine.

Spending time with good friends,

Says Abby.

Calling friends,

Says Tosca.

So connection on an emotional level is really important in a world where screens are taking us away.

When we get into this space of awareness and start to think it through,

We realise the importance of connection.

No mobile phone.

Social media,

Says Christine.

Bang on time.

Diane says acts of kindness.

It's another talk and it's in the book,

But wonderful,

Diane.

Absolutely.

No act of kindness ever goes unnoticed for yourself or the person who receives it.

What we give to others,

We reveal in ourselves.

It has to come through us.

So true,

Diane.

If we're going to show somebody compassion and care,

We have to feel compassion and care for it to leave us.

So that really ticks a box here.

Kindness.

Something that lifts you up to your happy place,

Anna says.

Wonderful.

Shared smiles,

Mel.

Absolutely.

I like to do it if I'm in a supermarket and there's a toddler with their mum or dad in front.

If you bob your tongue out and smile and they start smiling back,

What goes around?

So you can see that the importance of thinking about things that actually make you feel better in a world that wants our time,

That wants our focus,

That wants to take us away from this moment.

It's really easy to forget the basics.

So we've covered physicality and we've covered emotional,

How we feel.

Now let's move to mental.

So sometimes they can start to blur.

I've taught something called Reiki for many years and actually Reiki ticks all four.

So things might come up again.

What can you think of that would help you mentally,

That would take care of you,

That would create space perhaps?

And again,

Please share it for me and everybody else.

Really appreciate it.

So let's think about mental wellbeing.

Again,

LJ says spending time outside.

Christine says reading good stuff.

Perfect,

Christine.

I've got back into fiction in the last year for the first time in 20 years.

It's a real release at the end of the day for me.

Annamie says meditation,

Creating space,

Quiet time,

Just pausing,

Wonderful.

Mindset,

Says Diane.

Sleep again,

Says Mahiki,

And I'm with you.

I think sleep ticks every box.

Jenny says sleep.

Limit time on social media.

Don't fill your head with somebody else's stuff.

Give yourself some time.

Silence,

Says Bea,

Still a big one for me each day.

If I'm away from silence for too long,

Then all four of these are a little lower.

Thank you,

Bea.

Reconnecting with the self and the present moment.

Wonderful,

Annamie.

Using our mind for study,

Expansion.

That's perfect,

Annamie.

Reminding ourselves that there's a world outside of the world that we know.

Keep moving in the direction of that.

Music,

Says Jude.

Again,

Probably all four for me,

Jude,

Absolutely.

Compassion to the self and others,

Kindness.

Tosca says participating in live events on IT.

Perfect,

Tosca.

Hello,

Welcome.

Lily says practicing random acts of kindness.

Wonderful.

Boundaries,

Sophie,

That's a massive one.

Absolutely fantastic.

Another talk that I give,

But in essence,

It's about knowing yourself,

Drawing a line,

And knowing when somebody else can step across it or when you choose to step across it.

That's it in essence for me.

A big one.

Thank you,

Sophie.

Music,

Says Maisie.

I think we know the artist.

Amma says learning,

Expansion,

Expanding the mind,

Travel perhaps.

Trust,

Says Moni.

That's a really interesting one,

But I can see where you're going with that.

Curiosity,

Says Maiki.

Reframing.

When you change the way you look at things,

The things you look at change,

Maiki.

What about that?

You can have that one.

It's all in with the prize.

Connection with people.

Yeah.

Helps mentally as well.

And to create things.

Creation,

Amma.

Wonderful.

Yeah.

And Nancy says writing.

So we're starting to get this library,

If you like,

This eclectic mix,

But the common denominator that runs through all of it is,

If I remember this,

If I remember this,

Then I'm going to have a better minute,

A better hour,

A better day,

A better month,

A better year,

A better life.

We've stepped back from the stuff.

We've allowed ourselves to be in the space and we're reminding ourselves,

Revisiting,

Or perhaps thinking for the first time,

What this holistic version of yourself would look like if you populated it with things that nurture you,

That take care of you.

Having a sense of meaning and belonging.

Wonderful,

Jenny.

And that's perfect timing because I think that sort of leans into the final quarter as well.

On the course that I give,

The six-week course,

Jenny,

Week one is all about creating that sense of meaning and belonging.

I ask the question,

Who am I at this point in my life?

I think that is an absolute start of a 10.

So thank you for that,

Jenny.

So let's move to this now.

Spirituality.

The final part of the holistic model.

But can you see how disconnected three quarters looks?

It's not complete.

It's not whole.

It leaves something out.

Something is missing.

So let's just visit this thing called spirituality.

So Jenny says meditation.

Absolutely.

Sitting in contemplation.

Yoga.

Absolutely,

Jenny,

Again.

Praying and surrendering.

Wonderful,

Christine.

Mel says awareness of synchronicities.

The angels are all around us.

Again,

Probably another talk,

Mel,

But absolutely.

They walk amongst us.

Don't miss the little things.

They become the big things.

Amma,

Absolutely.

Being in nature for me seems to check all four boxes.

Nature says Jenny.

Praying says us.

Wonderful.

To be in dialogue with something that is.

Something that sits and waits for that connection.

Sometimes a lifetime.

Diana says solitude.

That's an interesting one.

Solitude can tend to sometimes have a negative connotation.

But to be alone and to be okay with that.

Wonderful,

Fiona.

Devotion.

Devotion to yourself.

To your own well-being.

Devotion to the planet.

Devotion to whatever.

Devotion to the space between the musical notes.

Whatever that means.

That's spirituality.

Whatever that means.

Walking says Nancy.

One step at a time.

To wonder.

To be in awe.

I teach meditation and John Kabat-Zinn,

Who was sort of given really the prominence of bringing meditation and mindfulness to the west.

In one of his seven pillars of mindfulness,

He talks about child's eyes.

To look at it through a child's eyes.

Wonder.

Belief in a higher power,

Catherine.

Absolutely.

Stillness.

Surrender.

Well,

That's a great word.

One word for 2026.

And,

Again,

Sometimes surrender can have negative connotations.

But it's ultimate strength and courage.

Good for you,

Sheila.

Being in service to others is definitely on my list,

Sophie.

And I know that sounds a little bit crass and a little bit check me out.

But the simple fact is,

If I'm looking at it selfishly,

Provided I'm giving from a place that nourishes me as well and I'm not from an empty cup,

Back to your boundaries,

Then something sort of comes alight in me when I'm able to be in service to others.

Sitting at my favorite tree.

Amen to that one,

Maisie.

Compassion to yourself and others.

Mel says connection to the cosmos.

Belief in the things we cannot see.

The intangibles.

I like that.

I don't get to say the word intangibles enough.

Thank you,

Emma,

For that.

Believing that the universe is working for you.

And gratitude says B.

Wonderful.

So,

Folks,

We've started to step back from this reactive,

Existing sort of approach to life.

And we think about this maybe as a mat that we step on.

And if we stand in the center of it,

We're in a good place.

And the more that we can recognize all four segments and move in the direction of them but come back to center,

The better our time will be.

Compare that to just having a go at each day.

Gently take control of who you are.

Of who.

With whom.

How.

What and where you spend your time.

Self-care isn't selfish.

It's critical.

You deserve it.

So let's have a quick recap,

Folks.

Balance is the key to all things in life.

Everything that works.

Everything that is healthy.

Everything that flows has a degree of balance to it.

Understands the importance.

You and I seem to get this physically.

We can't just keep running,

Keep singing,

Keep dancing,

Keep swimming.

Sooner or later something has to give.

What I'm saying is to approach it from a deeper,

More nurturing space gives you far more to spend time with.

So,

Folks,

Take care of yourselves.

Take a piece of paper,

Draw a circle,

Put a cross in the circle.

Spiritual,

Physical,

Mental,

Emotional.

Start to become more proactive with what takes care of you.

Thank you all.

See you soon.

Thank you,

Folks.

Bye-bye.