How To Change Your Mind About Eating Healthy & Change Your Addiction To Bad Food

Welcome to the Happiness Habit podcast,

Your podcast for learning how to become the happiest person you know.

Today we're going to talk about food and what a perfect time to talk about food.

We are all in the throes of just food being everywhere,

Family gatherings,

Parties,

Corporate work events,

Everything has food in it right now.

We are being bombarded and regardless of where we stood before and our relationship to it before,

I feel like for everyone universally the holidays take on a transition for us everywhere.

Where we just kind of either throw our rules and standards and all of that out the window or we strictly rigidly go in with rules and then we throw them out at some point in the game or we just eat,

Take a certain amount of self-loathing in the shower later while we broke our rules or didn't have any standards or whatever.

This is just a very tumultuous time in this one event and it becomes,

I feel like the biggest reason and the biggest thing to know about why this time is so just monumental for us is our relationship to food is a relationship to ourselves.

This is such a personal thing.

This isn't just holidays becoming super just inflamed because we are dealing with weather and traffic and supply and trying to get things for our holiday events and family and those dynamics that go with it.

We are now talking about the direct relationship with ourselves and what we put into fuel ourselves and what creates really if we're honest the very makeup of our health and what we're doing.

And so this the craziness that comes from being so pulled out of our norm with all of these events and all of the dynamics that come from being in this time of year creates an emotion inside of us and that emotion inside of us immediately has either triggers and or the solution that the thing that we do immediately after the trigger or just in general how we choose to satiate or anything with our feelings,

With our thoughts and we usually use a lot of us use food to do that and some of us use alcohol and some of us use relationships and some of us use self sabotaging behaviors and just we just have all of these lots of interesting things at play and in the flow of what's going on in our day-to-day world and the stresses and everything and just that is within our home and within our families that's not even considering what's going on in the world what's going on in our neighborhoods what's going on our cities.

So it's just it's a very busy time for our minds.

And so I thought it was incredibly important to talk about all the different dynamics and maybe break down some of the reasons and awarenesses that I can provide for you so you can at least dive in a little bit more intentionally during your season and figure out if you're going to make decisions what are going to be the decisions that don't linger in your thoughts at the end of the night or to where you can at least be at peace with what you did for yourself that day.

So I had a question immediately after posting something about intuitive eating and it was actually a phrase I made fun of the first time I heard it.

It was like intuitive eating.

Okay,

My intuition says I need a doughnut.

And I really dove into it because usually when I judge something or come up with some sort of you know humor to kind of shove it off there's usually something in there that I am pointed at pointed to later by my inner guide and inner wisdom that's like you dismiss this but you're about to revisit it because I actually had a lesson for you in there.

And what I came to learn for myself was that intuitive eating is just it's not really you're not following a diet created by another.

You are allowing yourself and your internal instant reaction to something to fade away so that you can get that assured reaction that's not so instantaneous,

It's not so animalistic,

That's not so knee-jerk and allow something to rest with you and choosing your diet and choose what you put into your body based on the feeling that you get,

This intuitive feeling or gesture that you get in your body that signal,

That's unspoken.

It's like yes,

That supports me,

That's good for me.

I'm actually I have an intolerance to this.

I need you to not.

I need you to just put it down.

And a lot of people dismiss this immediately.

It's like I don't really know what's good for me.

I don't really know what's good for my body.

I don't know where my intolerances are.

I don't know what I'm allergic to.

You know just this causes me bloating and this causes me to be upset stomach and this gives me a headache.

And I would challenge you to maybe still go into it with the mindset of staying open because our body has a stored history of food that supports you.

And it will send in the form of small signals,

It will send you this guidance,

This yes or this no,

This resolute yes,

This resolute no.

It's not huge.

It's not big or loud.

It's just a very calming.

It's either a calming a calming piece that's that doesn't really give you a lot of resistance or it creates kind of like an inner static or an inner bubbling that's like I don't I don't I'm not good with this.

And I would venture to say that a lot of us don't have that ability to really do that only because we say so.

And only because we are creating the barrier to being able to hear this.

And this is so true in a lot more ways than just around food.

We tell ourselves we don't know the answer to X,

Y or Z,

Relationship,

Co-worker,

Our boss,

Our kids.

We tell ourselves we don't have the answers.

We have the answers to absolutely everything that we go through.

It just is a matter of tapping in and tuning out anything in the way.

It's not a matter of going out and finding our answers out there.

We a hundred percent of the time know exactly where we need to be if we get everything out of the way of seeing that.

And this intuitive eating is basically that tapping in to your answer.

And what would be a good way to doing that is I would if I were to ask that question and I would first ask what kind of state I'm in before the prompt,

Before putting myself in a situation like,

OK,

What am I going to eat today?

If you were to check your state and be aware of your emotions while you're doing that,

Most of the time,

If you can be honest,

I'm in an emotional state right now.

Why do I even want to eat?

A lot of the times I found that I was eating out of some need to do something so I could avoid feeling or thinking what was coming up for me.

Because at the end of the day,

Food is fuel and it needs to be a necessary addition to your body and not entertainment.

We use food as entertainment,

Which if that were the outlier activity would be OK.

There are food is beautiful.

It's delicious.

It's wonderful.

It is.

It is entertainment.

It can be entertainment when properly used as that.

But a lot of the times we allow food and our emotions to use us and we just satiate it with things.

We end up feeling terrible on our food and our relationship to food uses and abuses us.

And if we continue down that road without having an intention behind it,

Without showing up as our highest self with our diet in mind,

Ignoring this is what causes the body to feel unrest and disease.

And if we break down the word,

People have done 100 times dis-ease and a dis-ease in our body,

A lack of peace in our body.

And these things cause this these incongruencies in our body that take form of they come out somewhere.

Our body doesn't lie.

Our body is going to create the result and create our outcome and show us the results of our choices.

And we'll see somebody that does this consistently.

And I'm not saying this comes this is where all things come from.

But,

You know,

A cancer cell itself is nothing more than a rogue cell that has that is fought back against.

Our body that is being what it needs and what our body needs was consistently ignored by us in one capacity or another.

And it created it went rogue.

And these these collection of cancer cells is our body just saying,

Hey,

Pay attention.

Look at me here,

Right here.

I needed this.

I need you to focus on it now,

Because if we do not focus on our health,

We will be forced to by focusing on an illness.

And if we wanted to get ahead of everything,

If you can sense in your body or your mind now that just you don't really act this way,

You don't show up with this kind of intention,

But you would like to.

Asking yourself several questions,

You could ask yourself,

Am I eating in a way that creates health?

What will this do to my body long term?

What is the outcome of this consistently?

If I were to do this or eat this way or live this way consistently and you could do this with anything.

If I were to continue to show up like this in my relationship,

If I perform like this in my career,

If I were to do this consistently,

What is the obvious outcome?

And we know the answers to these things because there are just laws that we are intelligent.

We are intelligent enough beings to just know without being told.

We can assume so much of,

OK,

These are the laws of happiness,

These are the laws of depression,

These are the laws of a healthy relationship.

We just kind of intuitively know so much of what creates and destroys health.

So asking what the outcome and thinking ahead,

Thinking long term,

Thinking long gain.

If you really truly care and you're here for a reason and you do want to create this health and take a look at these things,

Because ignoring it up to this point is maybe what's causing this unrest in you.

That's like,

God,

You know,

I never feel good.

And it is a matter.

It is a simply as,

You know,

I want these things.

I want to eat this way.

I want these things.

But we don't do what we want.

We don't do what we want.

We don't do what we want in so many areas of our lives.

We do what we must.

And our musts are our personal rules.

The desires that we have for our outcome.

If it is a strong enough desire,

Our wants are not as important as the musts.

And they will never be overrun or chosen over the musts,

The rules that we've created for ourselves.

I've seen so many people want to and say,

No,

The want doesn't go away.

I do want to take a drink when I'm at my family parties,

But I have chosen for myself that that does not support me.

I am not.

I must never go there again.

And we burn these bridges and take these islands because we create this personal law system in ourselves is just resolute and cannot be shaken.

And that is more important than any diet you could ever take on,

Because if it's created by another and instilled by another,

It is not within you.

It is not a passion of yours when it comes from you and comes from within this personal conviction of this is how I'm going to live.

This is how my body is going to run.

That is where true change and true power comes from.

So have a plan if you need to.

Thinking ahead,

If it's if I understand everybody's busy,

I'm busy.

I don't have time to think about what I'm going to eat that night.

And when I do not have time,

I do not make wise decisions.

And at the end of the day,

There are places I can get a decent carry out that is not going to be horrendous for me.

But what I have to ask myself,

What's harder?

Is it harder to feel like this?

This way,

This this unrest,

This lack of solution in this one area of your life,

Is it harder to feel like that every single day and do nothing about it and consistently make the last minute knee jerk choices that are impulse and impulsive eating that does not honor or even consider what may be best for you in the moment?

Or is it harder to spend two hours cooking and have a week of just total peace about what you're doing?

I would venture to say that it's probably a little easier to spend a couple hours on a Sunday to do that anyway.

You'll probably spend that time on screen time if you don't.

So you might as well make it useful to have Monday,

Tuesday,

Wednesday,

Thursday,

Friday and Saturday,

Knowing exactly what you're going to do,

What you're going to eat and feeling good that you've removed the option for the animal part of your brain to take over and go,

Nope,

It's burgers and fries.

And yes,

I know you're going to feel terrible and you're going to sleep terribly.

You're going to wake up sweating or whatever the case may be.

I would say,

Regardless of what your thoughts of when I say the world meal prep and what you think that may entail,

I have destroyed my entire kitchen to make a week worth of meals and it takes me about a half hour to clean up and an hour and a half to cook.

And that is even with,

I would say minimal organization because I do keep a fairly clean kitchen.

I clean as I go.

But even if I don't,

The first couple of times where I was just like,

Oh,

This is just an absolute circus,

I still got it done within two and a half,

Three hours those first couple of times.

And it was so nice to have all of that stuff in the fridge done for me.

Ready,

Drag and drop,

Copy paste type ease.

And that was so awesome to have my decision made for me.

The animal didn't have even a prompt because I already had an answer in front of it.

So thinking ahead is huge.

So having a plan,

That is the plan.

The other thing I would say,

If you need something a little bit more creative or personal or personally charging,

Write it down.

Sign a contract with yourself and keep your desire and your outcome in view.

So and then that contract,

I signed a contract with myself about what my standards would be for certain areas that were just really important for me to keep my eyes focused on desire.

Because if we do not,

It is life is basically these days designed to keep you thrown off.

Social media has zero shits to give about what your dreams are,

What your goals are,

What you would like for yourself.

It is designed to keep you sucked in,

Addicted,

Comparing,

Feeling horrible.

It is planned that way.

Our advertisements,

The things that we,

Our jobs,

Our schedules,

Our routines,

Our RSVPs,

Our distractions,

Our notifications are not here to keep you at all focused on you.

This intention on you is so much more pertinent,

So much more important for you to do now and get concrete,

Unshakably rooted in that desire because everything else is designed to blow you steer out of it.

So rooted,

Hard on the ground,

Resolute your rules,

Your laws,

And focus on them every single day.

That is one of the only ways that you will be able to consistently get your outcome because even those who focus on their outcome still may not ever get there because that is just not the way today's world has worked out.

Things are hard.

We have to climb and strive harder.

There's so much more noise and so much more static and so much more,

So many more bodies out there today.

And then I would say the last two things for keeping and staying on track with these things is to know what sets you off of your path.

Rooting and understanding your desire and your outcome is great,

But the wind is going to blow.

Things are going to throw you off.

Knowing in advance and planning in advance for these things is going to be absolutely just as pivotal as your meal prepping or setting things aside and knowing your laws and making sure that you stay focused on those.

Because if you can plan ahead for these things,

If you can know in advance,

I'm going to get thrown off on Saturday.

My girlfriends usually ask me on Friday night if I want to go out on Friday night or Saturday I'm going to go have brunch or Sunday night.

I'm going to go have a little bit of breakfast,

A little bit of lunch or Sunday is usually that big huge breakfast French toast thing and we don't we don't miss it.

Fine.

That is your thing.

Do it,

But plan ahead for if those things if you're going to binge on Friday splurge on Saturday,

And then do it again on Sunday and feel terrible about it on Monday,

Then you do have a problem.

I would say that if you can feel good about anything that you do that is more of a splurge or is more of an off the path decision.

What can you do on Friday?

What can you do on Saturday?

What can you do during the week that will make Sunday not it's not about never coming off the rules it's not about never coming off the path it's not about never having what you want instead of what you and what your body needs.

It's making sure that when you do splurge out and go for what you want and have a big pancake breakfast that you do not feel like you're going to just say Christmas night we have a huge dinner my entire family has a potluck everybody brings their own dish it's wonderful it's I'm and I'm going to eat till I'm stuffed.

Great.

Are you going to feel terrible about it on the 26th.

And if you are,

That's when I would make different decisions.

If you can splurge on the 25th and feel great about it and not guilt yourself.

I then you don't have anything that you need to prepare for it's aligning with where it's in the synchronous or the incongruencies are going to occur and feel if you don't feel bad about it having pizza and beer,

Five nights of the week and getting carry out two nights a week.

You don't need to be listening to this podcast,

Because you're doing what it is,

Is perfectly aligned with your choices and your desires and go do you have one for me.

But for those who know deep down that there's just something that could be more aligned,

And could be more healthful and create more vitality and vibrance and that is your desire,

Then these are the things that you could definitely implement.

Know what you want,

What your,

What sets you off and plan ahead for it.

For me,

My plan ahead for it is I love those oatmeal peanut butter protein balls that are just super easy to grab instead of any number of the less than amazing decisions I could make when I just want a snack when I just want a little boost when I just want something.

I know myself and if I buy vegetables and I buy great things.

Most of the time if they are not pre cut with something to dip them in or whatever the case whatever if it's cucumbers,

I don't tend to just sit there and snack on but I am somebody who like likes a little balsamic likes a little ranch something that to dip them in.

I will snack on vegetables,

All day long.

However,

I have my rules about it and I know when I will and will not do this.

If they are whole cucumbers sitting in a drawer.

Everything's,

Nothing's done nothing's prepped for me.

I won't touch the thing.

I won't touch the thing until it's got little black spots in the in mold and it's squishy and all of that and then I'll throw it away.

That's what I touch it next.

So to set myself up for success I know that veggie trays even though they're more expensive and all that if I have a veggie tray in my fridge or I take the time to chop up all my vegetables and it's super simple.

I even make it to where I have a little cup of the salad dressing in the chopped up Tupperware.

So I don't even have to.

I don't have any barrier to keep me from well,

I gotta get at the salad dressing and I gotta get it yeah the Tupperware it's all cut up but I've got to get everything out and set it up.

I just want something quick this way.

I pull the Tupperware out.

I eat my snack.

I put it back.

I'm done.

I my choice was made.

I didn't have anything that was easy easier access than that.

And that's where I feel that while it is a default.

I'm making the right choice because I made it lazy to make the right choice.

That is where we create our successes.

And if we do that as a pattern all of a sudden we know it's been like six months since I've just like binged on candy one afternoon because I was having that three o'clock slump.

And then a side note that I feel is separate is know your emotional triggers.

So what sets you off your path is what sets me off my path is not having enough time in the day and having kind of a busyness and not really.

I need to work.

I need to work up until the point where it's lunchtime and I don't really have time to think about what to make for lunchtime.

So that's something that would set me off of my path is just not having a game plan and having too much to do or being overloaded.

An emotional trigger would be something I'm not necessarily for seeing.

I can't really expect.

So setting me off my path is something super simple day to day rudiment you know just your schedule getting off or something.

But something I cannot foresee or say a conversation goes awry or I get a negative email from something or just something that I don't expect and it sets me on an emotional trigger.

What triggers you that you cannot necessarily foresee knowing those in advance.

This is where it can be key.

It's not as simple as cutting up a cucumber and putting it in your fridge for you know we're up having a kombucha in your fridge instead of a soda or something.

What can you do instead when you have an emotional trigger.

These are something that you write down in advance when I have a negative conversation or get into an argument or something I tend to thinking back to me.

I usually do I go for some kind of sweet or a carb or something that I can I fill my stomach up with something starchy or sugary,

And that was my go to whenever there was emotional trigger if I'm just feeling kind of lazy or gross or I'm in a certain my,

My cycle is due and I'm just kind of feeling a little bit more raw in my animal where it's just like,

I want sugar I want caffeine give it to me now.

I have a set of things written down that's like,

What can I do instead.

Well,

I can go for a drive down the back road,

I can listen to music,

I can go up to the gym and I honestly for me I've created so many positive associations with going to the gym that I understand that that sounds completely crazy,

But a lot of people aren't going to go,

Oh,

My husband just pissed me off I'm going to the gym that's not necessarily the common go to but for some reason I have created a lot of positive associations with my particular gym and so that is an answer for me.

I used to be.

I get pissed off and I manic clean the house.

And I'm in a bigger house now so it's that's no longer an association I make I'm like okay it's not as simple as a quick clean.

For me it's getting dirty in my plants and re potting things or just turning my phone on Do Not Disturb something that's emotionally satiating for me when I am triggered or upset as I do things that pull me back out of that place,

Because at the end of the day it's not about diving in always and figuring out what that trigger means where it came from what to do about it sometimes it's just,

It's just a trigger,

And you don't need to dive in you don't need to analyze you don't need to figure it all out sometimes you just need to get back to a good place,

Because some of these things that we focus on when we're emotionally triggered are just kind of needless,

And not everything needs some answer some grandiose root cause.

Sometimes you just get in a crappy state.

And we just need to get back to a good one,

Whether it be going for a run going for a walk,

Just being in nature for me the biggest thing ever is going outside and being in nature.

And if I remember that that's my law.

That's the way everything has laws you are no exception to this.

You have a set of laws,

And I would spend 20 minutes one afternoon just writing it down what are your laws what throws you off what makes you thrive and knowing these things in advance.

I am going to end there,

Because that is what I have written down for today.

However,

This is a wonderful topic and I love all the different nuances that can come from other people's questions so if you have a question for me,

I am at Kara Payton calm or hello Kara Payton calm and then Instagram at the happiness habit podcast or at Kara Payton,

I would love to hear your questions.

And until then,

Thank you for joining me for another episode of the happiness pat habit podcast.

Until next time,

Keep moving toward becoming the happiest person you know because the world really does need that higher self within you.