Courage To Set Boundaries & Let Go Of People Pleasing

Dear soul,

I thank you for being here.

It is possible to change.

It is possible to move through obstacles.

It is possible to heal old wounds.

It is possible to change disempowering patterns.

It is possible to self-improve.

And it is possible to have inner peace and balance and to live with integrity despite outer drama.

The words in this guided meditation are intended to support you and empower you to outgrow old patterns of people-pleasing and help you to start setting healthy boundaries.

The path of having healthy boundaries and consciously making decisions to honor those boundaries is not the most traversed path because it is not an easy one.

It takes conscious effort on the physical,

Mental,

Emotional and spiritual level.

It is the path for those seeking to live in alignment and harmony with their authentic essence.

And while you can begin to make yourself comfortable and ready to go within,

It might feel good to close your eyes.

While a deeper part of you begins to relax in a safe and natural way,

I wonder if you can take a couple of deeper breaths.

Imagine inhaling through the top of your head and exhaling out of your feet.

And with every breath,

Your feet relax more and more.

You don't need to notice anything in particular.

Fibers and cells in your body will naturally start to relax more and more when you breathe consciously.

Everything you do has an effect on your body.

Like when you smile or frown,

They influence your mind and emotions.

And what is interesting about smiling is that your unconscious mind is not capable of distinguishing between a real smile and a fake smile.

So if you pretend to smile while using the same muscles as in a real smile,

Your brain will interpret it as a real smile.

So let's have it.

Pretend to smile.

Make a huge grin and hold that grin,

Hold that smile for 10 seconds.

Come on.

I'll do it with you.

Alright,

So you don't have to grin any longer if you don't want to.

And imagine now that the muscles in your hands and arms are melting like an ice cube in a glass of warm water.

Imagine that when you breathe out,

You now breathe out of your fingertips,

Inhaling through your head,

Breathing out of your fingertips,

Letting go now,

And you're doing good.

And you don't need to relax now.

Maybe you will relax deeper in a few moments,

Or maybe you will just drift into a light relaxation.

Your unconscious mind knows how to take care of this process for you as you go deeper and deeper within automatically.

While you notice the sound of my voice,

The flow of the words,

And the sensations in your hands,

When you breathe out of your fingertips,

You move energy through your body and out through your hands.

And some people notice some sensations and some don't.

There is a story about a young man that decided to go on a travel,

A journey to find himself,

To connect deeper with self and source.

And this meant that he had to leave his small village of family,

Friends,

And all that he knew.

This was not easy for the young man,

To let go in this way,

And to leave without knowing when he would return and if he would return.

And certainly he would not return the same as he was when he left.

For him it felt like something more than a regular journey,

It was like a deep calling from his spirit.

And not everyone understood his decision,

How could they?

And some of them tried all they could to have him stay and not leave.

And this went on for weeks,

But he had already decided,

His decision was made.

And the day he made that decision,

He knew that he was going to face resistance from loved ones and even the village council.

So he prepared for that.

He committed to standing his ground and not allowing himself to get caught up in displays of emotions and coercion tactics.

He accepted that all of that was part of his journey,

An important part that he had to learn how to handle.

Because how he chose to handle this,

That was certainly within his control.

The other people's reactions,

Just like the wind,

Was not in his control.

He displayed his firm love by letting them all know that his decision was made.

And there was nothing they could say or do that could change his mind.

And yeah,

They tried.

But this wasn't about them,

It was about his relationship with himself and Source.

And he realized that this relationship was not a fleeting one,

Like human relationships,

But it was an eternal one,

And he found it to be his obligation to honor it.

On the day he left,

He said goodbye to his tribe.

With his sight,

His inner sight,

He noticed that the soul,

The essence of each loved one overseeing it all.

And even if some of his nearest ones were weeping,

He could see their soul smiling.

Smiling and nodding in acceptance,

In honor,

In respect.

And he left.

After a couple of days of walking he came to a river,

And the only way to cross was over a huge tree that had fallen over,

Creating a natural bridge.

He thought about something his spiritual teacher once told him.

On the path of connecting with the truth of who you are,

There will be hindrances on the way.

These hindrances can come in many forms.

And many people will consider these challenges as signs of being on the wrong path,

Instead of challenging the challenge itself with courage.

Having courage does not mean that fear is not present,

It means acting despite it.

He stood there looking at the river,

Looked at the tree,

Set the intent to cross it as safely as he could.

And he started crawling.

He took his time,

He was focused in every step.

And when he had only a few meters left,

Suddenly his left foot lost its grip and he tilted over,

Nearly hanging on to an amputated twig.

He tried to drag himself up,

But it was too slippery.

As he looked for a place to get a better grip,

It was as time stopped.

A hand stretched out towards him.

He didn't know if he was hallucinating,

But he mustered all his strength to reach that hand.

And there,

He got a hold of it.

He pulled himself up on the tree again.

The kind and helpful human that saved him had already started to crawl towards the end of the tree to the other side.

Somehow telepathically saying,

Follow me,

Do exactly as I do.

They both reached the other side and the young man lay down,

Feeling the support of the ground beneath him finally,

Catching his breath.

The young man stood up to thank the one with the helping hand.

And when they locked eyes,

The young man noticed that he was looking into the eyes of his 90-year-old self,

Himself from the future,

And that future version of him looked so healthy and alive,

So full of wisdom and so full of love.

And they embraced with unconditional love,

Pure love.

His future self thanked his present self for taking this journey,

For being so courageous,

Which allowed this future version of the young man to stand before him so healthy,

Vital,

Living a life of purpose,

Living with integrity,

Being authentic and real,

Honoring life.

And while embracing,

The future version started to become transparent,

Merging and becoming one with the young man.

And the young man looked back at the fallen tree and could see that he had been able to reach a solid twig to pull himself up.

And he realized that the helping hand was his future self guiding him to save himself.

But the experience of meeting his future self was as real as that river.

And he continued on his journey with a deeper sense of trust and knowing that he was on the right path and that any hindrance that may show up,

He will find a way.

And where this journey would lead him,

There was only one way of finding out.

To keep walking,

To keep learning,

To keep evolving.

And while a part of you may be wondering how the rest of the journey went for this young man,

Another part of you can admire the courage he had to break free,

How he made a decision and stood his ground,

He went for it.

And one can admire how he was able to honor his inner guidance even though it made others sad or angry.

He followed his discernment,

Reason and intuition.

His intentions were pure.

Imagine now in your creative mind that you are in the same room as the 90 year old you.

What would that 90 year old you say to you regarding people placing and setting boundaries?

What would that 90 year old you advise you to do less of or quit doing because it's not supporting you at all?

What would that 90 year old you advise you to do more of that uplifts you and empowers you,

That support you?

You co-create your present and your future in the aggregate of the collective consciousness.

Some outside circumstances you have no control over,

Like the weather,

The seasons.

And while you cannot control fully how other people act and behave,

You can influence,

You can control yourself.

You might be surprised to find how much you can change,

How powerfully you can influence.

At the same time,

You are not responsible for other people's behaviors.

You are your responsibility.

And when you have healthy boundaries,

When you stand up for yourself,

When you make decisions that are inherently life enriching and empowering,

You influence in the best possible way.

And that is your responsibility.

But few will honor themselves in life in this way,

Yet you can.

And some people wonder if it is possible to be confident,

Courageous and assertive,

Still kind,

Generous and loving,

But with healthy boundaries in place.

Overgiving is not a virtue,

It leads to self-abandonment.

Balanced giving,

Giving with reason and with an honest heart and healthy boundaries,

Leads to contentment,

Well-being and freedom.

And for each day that passes you become increasingly better at making conscious decisions,

Better decisions with integrity,

Firmness,

Groundedness and you can appreciate the rising sense of inner strength and self-esteem as you start to say no when you mean no and you say yes when you mean yes.

The era of people-placing is ending.

Like a tree during autumn,

It lets go because it is the natural thing to do for that tree to continue growing.

Holding on to the leaves doesn't serve that tree and it doesn't serve the other trees or any of the surrounding nature.

When that tree lets go,

It makes room for new leaves to sprout and blossom,

But first it has to go through all the processes during winter.

Have you ever seen a tree during winter?

How empty it looks,

As if nothing is going on,

And then when you think about it,

There is all these processes inside that tree,

All that inner work,

Laying ground,

Preparing for the new leaves to come.

Because that tree follows the flow of nature,

The laws of nature and you and I,

We are nature.

If the tree doesn't do what it takes to grow and evolve,

It withers.

Imagine standing with your back against a tree in late summer.

This can be any tree,

One you have seen before or just one you create in your mind.

Imagine becoming that tree,

With strong roots going deep into earth and you are grounded and steady.

Imagine that the seasons change and you move into autumn.

Imagine that each leaf represents fears,

Experiences,

Patterns and excuses that have held you captive in a loop of people-blazing.

In your mind's eye,

Imagine the tree letting go now,

And the leaves start to let go,

Safely and naturally.

Just imagine leaves flowing in the air,

Landing on the ground,

While you listen to the words that I share now.

You can relax deeper if you want to.

From now on,

You might be pleasantly surprised when you notice that you feel and act much more decisive,

Bold in your behavior,

Choices and actions,

Reflecting a healthy and growing sense of self-respect,

Self-worth and self-confidence,

A deep sense of inner peace growing stronger and stronger from your core,

Knowing that it is safe to be you.

You are born to be you.

You are growing into a version of yourself that prioritizes self-respect and authenticity,

Instead of acting dishonestly to have others like you or approve of you,

Or to avoid some form of conflict.

This is not people-blazing,

It's people misleading and self-abandonment.

You set out to co-create authentic relationships that are built on honesty and mutual respect,

Not just agreeability.

Your presence matters,

Your voice matters,

And as you forge ahead,

Taking responsibility for yourself in every way,

You become more and more comfortable standing on your own two feet.

You are becoming increasingly more resilient and self-assured.

You set boundaries because you value yourself,

And assertiveness is becoming a natural part of your personality as you set boundaries and stand by them.

You are becoming a wise communicator.

You face challenges with a calm and centered spirit,

Honing your ability to communicate your needs,

Perspectives,

And boundaries with clarity and poise,

And a sense of courage deep inside you grows stronger for each day that passes.

This is a special type of courage that comes from the depth of your soul,

And as you say no when you mean no and yes when you mean yes,

Your self-esteem enhances as your self-image becomes more and more empowering by making the right choices and taking the right action.

Your words,

Behavior,

And energy reflect care,

Strength,

And assertiveness.

You are aware that standing and speaking up for yourself is essential for your health and well-being.

Therefore,

You communicate your boundaries with clarity and good intentions.

You start noticing patterns,

Behaviors,

And habits that you have outgrown,

Like those leaves on that tree.

You are the one in charge of you.

You are the authority in your life,

No one else.

Of course you care about others,

And you remain kind,

Generous,

And loving,

And when you mix that with your increasing confidence,

Self-esteem,

Self-respect,

Courage,

And assertiveness,

You become an improved version of yourself,

More authentic,

More real,

And your actions are much more in alignment with your values,

Standards,

And purpose.

You are growing in self-awareness,

Respecting your boundaries and integrity.

You honor yourself holistically,

Recognizing that setting boundaries is a comprehensive act involving your body,

Mind,

Heart,

And soul,

And you are capable of standing up for yourself in the face of resistance,

Manipulation tactics,

Coercion,

And discomfort.

If your inner child was physically your child,

How far would you go standing up for and protecting that little child?

I bet you wouldn't abandon that child just to please others,

Would you?

You are the parent of your inner child now.

You are responsible now for giving that little you love,

Attention,

Encouragement,

Support,

Understanding,

Guidance,

Protection,

Healing.

It is you.

You are the only one that can truly see,

Hear,

Know,

And understand yourself.

You are the one.

I wonder if you can go back to that tree now and imagine that tree empty of leaves.

Imagine the leaves lying in piles on the ground.

And imagine that the 5 year old you is there,

And the 90 year old you show up as well.

Imagine being there with them.

And imagine that the 3 of you collect the leaves and put them all into 3 barrels where you lit them up.

The flame in the first barrel is violet,

The flame in the second barrel is blue,

And the flame in the third barrel is golden.

Combined,

These colors represent the love,

Power,

And wisdom of the original prime creator of this universe.

Energy that your soul and spirit is part of.

Imagine every leaf being put into those barrels,

Transmuting their energy into a positive force for good.

A force that you start to integrate more and more now as part of your natural authentic self.

It is already a part of your essence.

And while the leaves burn in the barrels,

Imagine lifting up the 5 year old you,

And the 90 year old you holds around you,

As the 3 of you watch the leaves go up in smoke.

Imagine that you fast forward through the winter months,

All those processes inside that tree.

And when the spring and summer come,

The tree blossoms once more.

More beautiful than ever,

More alive than ever,

More expanded than it has ever been.

Your unconscious mind has already started to activate the inner resources needed to steadily walk the path that leads you to set and maintain healthy boundaries and reduce unhealthy people pleasing patterns.

Still caring,

Still kind,

Still compassionate,

But without abandoning yourself in the process because you consciously work on yourself to have healthy boundaries in place.

And there are many things you can appreciate in the coming days,

Weeks and months when you notice you are becoming stronger,

More resilient,

More powerful,

Your core more aligned with your center of balance.

You are maturing on a personal and spiritual level as perspectives continue to shift and expand and empowering patterns of behavior integrating deeper and deeper.

The brilliance of your spirit coming through your mind,

Heart and actions more and more now.

And it is soon time to come back into this present moment.

I ask your subconscious mind to reinforce and integrate all the empowering suggestions and insights from this session in your waking state,

In your sleep state.

And you can start moving your fingers and toes,

Just wiggle them a bit.

And you can take some deeper breaths,

Inhale and exhale more fully,

Stretch your body a bit and you can,

You know,

You can bring back that grin if you like,

It's up to you.

And you can open your eyes,

Feeling good,

Peaceful and alive.

I appreciate you spending time here with me,

From my heart to your heart.

Thank you.