Review & Release The Year, Mindfully

Hi!

For this talk you might want to have a notebook and a pen handy.

This will not be a guided meditation,

But instead we're going to explore this idea of how to review and release the year mindfully.

As I'm recording this we are at the end of December of 2020 and it has been a lot this year.

It has had so many things and as we approach the end of the year and we begin to move into the new year it's such an incredible time to pause to really call in all of this mindfulness practice and all of these teachings and to really reflect upon what the year has brought,

What the year has taken away,

And how to let go so that when we move into the new year we do so with intention,

Without carrying,

You know,

Baggage forward.

And I want to also preface this by saying it's not like this idea of,

You know,

Perfection and if I can just let go of all of the heaviness then I can live in this,

You know,

Like perfect state of tranquility and serenity.

Like that is not our goal here.

As you know being a human includes a full range of experiences and emotions and I like to think of this as texture.

So in the course of life there are all of these different textures.

Some will be kind of rough,

Some will be smooth,

Some will be warm and velvety,

Some might be cold and spiky.

And we're not trying to eliminate the texture.

We're not trying to eliminate the highs and the lows and all of the variety.

But instead what mindfulness allows us to do is become really present with a quality of compassionate welcoming.

This really deep love and kindness for the entirety of your life that includes all of the difficulties as well as all of the wonder,

All of the beauty,

All that inspires you in the course of your life.

And the end of the year is such a powerful time to pause and to reflect and to kind of take a look at,

You know,

What has this last year been for you in your journey of life and in your journey of being on the planet.

So if you have a pen and paper nearby that will be helpful as we go through this exploration and for you to capture any ideas that come along as well as to take any notes with anything that resonates that I share with you today.

So the first thing when we get to this place of wanting to reflect mindfully is to first become present.

To just take a few breaths and really feel the presence of yourself in this moment exactly as you are.

And to welcome yourself into this moment exactly as the moment is.

So if there are horns honking or if there are dogs barking or if there's any kind of external thing that's happening,

Include that.

Welcome that as a part of this moment.

Let that in fact call you into the present moment.

And also with your own self taking a moment to appreciate this physical being that you are,

This physical body that you have,

And maybe you feel a little cold,

Right?

Maybe it's kind of cold in the temperature around you so maybe you feel your fingertips are a little chilly or maybe you notice how warm and cozy you feel.

But just taking a moment to connect with yourself in the present.

And as we do that,

If you have that pen and paper nearby,

Write down like three words about how you are in this moment.

And there's no right or wrong so you're not,

You know,

This isn't a time to to evaluate yourself but to bring an honest welcoming to whatever is true for you in this particular moment.

And write down maybe three words or three things that you happen to notice.

All right,

Good job.

I'm going to assume that you have now done that.

And our next step is we want to begin to reflect,

To look back across the year.

And initially I want you to remember in January of 2020,

And that might feel like a long time ago,

But when you think about January of 2020,

What was happening in your life then?

Who were you?

What were you excited about?

What did you anticipate that this year would be about?

And take a moment to just notice that.

What comes up for you?

What's the top idea or topic or emotion of where you were in January of 2020?

And then begin to imagine that you're walking through each month of the year.

And take a moment to write down what stands out to you about that particular time.

Maybe there was an event,

Maybe there was a relationship,

Maybe there was an expectation or a hope or something you were learning or something that was happening at that time in your life.

And as you step through each month,

Write down a few words about what stands out for you.

And as we reflect,

We want to continue to hold this very mindful perspective.

So don't slip down into the story,

You know,

Of what all of the thing was,

But simply notice and in just a few words capture,

Right?

What was this month about?

And as you reflect on each month of the year and you begin to think about change,

What were the things that changed in beautiful ways,

In supportive ways?

Maybe there was a new possibility or a new relationship or something new that you weren't expecting that changed in a way that really added to your life in a positive way.

Sometimes we forget those ones because the ones that were unwanted or that were challenging,

Those ones can be brighter in our memories.

So we want to go and capture both.

We want to acknowledge both.

What are the ways in which you really grew,

That you changed in a positive way?

And what are the things that were lost?

The things you had to let go of even if you didn't want to.

What kinds of changes came about in your life that were painful?

And when we bring this mindful quality,

This gaze that is imbued with loving kindness and compassion,

It allows us to be present with that without getting entangled in it.

And so many teachings and so many teachers speak to the wisdom of letting go,

Of being unattached.

And it's not that we don't have preferences but it's that we're able to acknowledge and to be in a peaceful relationship with this dynamic nature of life itself.

That when things are wonderful and amazing we're willing to fully enjoy that experience without clinging to it,

Hoping that it won't change or trying to preserve that into a static state.

And on the flip side that when we are going through difficulty or through a challenge the ability to be present with that means that we're not scrambling to avoid it or to change it or not in resistance to it.

We can really acknowledge,

Wow this really hurts or wow this is so scary or wow this feels so difficult.

And we stay in the presence of that knowing that it will shift as all things do but we're not in active resistance.

We're not trying to run away.

We're not in conflict with it.

We're not clinging to an idea of how we want things to be.

We can stay present with and acknowledge the full experience even the discomfort of it because both are part of the journey of this life.

So once you have taken a moment to step through,

To imagine yourself walking through each month of the year and taking a moment to acknowledge all of the things that were wonderful,

All of the things that were difficult,

Really appreciating all of the change that has happened,

Then we come into this really interesting question of release and letting go.

How do we want to do that?

And one thing I really like to remember that really helps me is that this idea of letting go,

It's something that you do every day all the time through your breath.

So when you exhale the breath,

You let it go.

It's this softening.

It's a release of that holding and there's no drama,

Right?

You're not trying to get rid of the breath.

You're not bringing a lot of effort,

You know,

Into I have to exhale in just the right way.

Your body knows how.

It's this very natural built-in experience and the idea of letting go can be as generous and softening and relieving as the exhale is when you release the breath.

And when we let go,

It can be from a place of gratitude like,

Thank you for being a part of my life,

And I feel ready to let you go.

But it can also be from this place of,

Wow,

This was so difficult and I feel ready to release that discomfort.

I feel ready to release that resentment.

I don't need to carry this anymore.

So there's never a need to sort of force yourself into letting something go.

If you are not ready to,

That is totally okay,

Right?

You can hold on to anger or discomfort for as long as you'd like and find whatever benefit or value you can out of that.

But when you know that this is no longer something that I want to carry with me,

I'm ready to release this.

That's what you want to bring into this space.

And I want to share with you some ideas of things to let go of.

These are things that I practice in my own life and I need to remind myself because sometimes I slip back into an old pattern or a habit and I realize,

Oh my gosh,

I am creating this suffering for myself.

I am the one holding on to this resentment.

I am the one holding on to this frustration or fear or hurt that I then keep feeding my energy into in order to keep it alive.

So here are some ideas for you based on my own practice of things that I am actively working and choosing to release this year.

I am intending to let go of taking things personally.

Life is so difficult when we take things personally and at the same time it's a very human experience.

We all do this.

I do this.

You do this.

Everyone you know.

We have moments where we take things personally and I know that when I do this it ends up creating more suffering and more difficulty in my own life.

So I would like to let go of taking things personally.

I am also letting go of needing things to go my way,

Which is another way of talking about being attached when we have an idea of how we want things to go and then life unfolds in a different kind of a way.

Not always in accordance with our own plans and desires but this is the relationship we have with being alive.

This really dynamic and ever-changing nature.

So when things do not go my way,

When it seems like things are not going my way,

I really am wanting to let go of needing it to turn out the way I wanted it to turn out.

And I feel like this year,

2020,

Has been such a year to really confront how attached we can get with our plans and our idea of how things should be or how we want things to be.

Mindfulness is this practice of continuing to meet the moment as it is and as we are without the clinging and without the aversion.

And it is a practice.

So it's something that we can continue to develop.

And again it's not because we are trying to be,

You know,

Kind of these robot beings that don't have any feeling or that don't respond in a human way,

But we want to have this intentional welcoming experience of life and we can begin to reduce our own suffering when we practice releasing that attachment and realizing,

You know,

Things will not always go my way.

And I can be at peace with that.

I can even be at peace with not liking it.

I can even find a way to be peaceful with my frustration or my disappointment.

I can bring compassion and loving kindness to the experience of my own life unfolding.

So needing things to go my way,

Continuing to practice this unattachment,

And realizing too that sometimes things end up unfolding in a way that I might not have asked for or expected,

But that still feels in alignment with and a very integral part of my path on the planet.

And my guess is that it's also true for you.

I'm also letting go of holding resentment toward other people.

If you've ever had the experience where people are not how you would like them to be,

You know exactly what I'm talking about.

And the thing is we can hold this resentment towards others for years and it slowly undermines,

It like draws away from our life.

Like it draws,

It takes energy to maintain that resentment.

It's like you have to keep feeding it in order for it to be to be active.

And so it ends up becoming very draining.

It ends up creating like a hardness,

Like a hard-heartedness,

Like a also like a barrier,

A sense of discord.

And that's something that we carry.

Like I carry that inside me,

You carry that inside you.

And that means that you then,

That I then,

We as the ones who hold that resentment,

We are the ones who suffer from it.

So consider this,

Whatever resentments you happen to be holding,

Maybe it's time to release that.

Maybe it's time to let go of that because it only is draining and diminishing your energy and your life.

This one can be a little bit addictive though.

I'll be very honest with you because it can feel good to feel kind of self-righteous.

Like I am correct and this person is wrong and I'm going to hold this resentment because it feels like a kind of power.

But ultimately it ends up becoming very draining.

So once you once you see what you need to see in that relationship or in that moment,

The invitation is to then release it.

To offer compassion to yourself and to any discomfort or pain that you're carrying and to be willing to let go of this other person.

So it's a practice.

And then related to this,

I am also in my own practice letting go of blame.

And this includes blaming of others but also blaming myself.

And if you've ever had this experience where you thought,

Why did I do that?

Or if you felt like,

Oh I didn't handle that well or I made a mistake or I should have known better or why didn't I notice this?

We can direct a lot of unkindness towards ourselves.

And it's like holding a resentment against yourself.

It's like never being able to fully embrace your own humanness when we direct blame to ourselves and also to others.

It's almost like this unkindness that we first have to cultivate and then we direct it.

We put it into a direction.

So watch out for blame because that one too can feel really justified but it will cost you.

Your energy,

Your life force,

It'll keep you bound to that pain.

It'll keep you bound to that discomfort,

To that resentment.

And instead what we want to do or let me offer it this way,

Instead what's available is when we realize,

You know what?

I have been holding like this knife of blame against my own throat or I have been holding this knife of blame against others.

I'm ready to set it down.

I'm ready to be present with the pain,

The disappointment,

The frustration,

The anger.

Get present with the emotion itself so that you can welcome it as a part of the wholeness of your life journey and your experience.

And this allows us then to bring all of our energy and attention into the present moment.

Blame and resentment,

Needing things to go your way,

Taking things personally,

All of this ends up dragging the past with us.

It's all about attachment and how we envision things to be in our experience when things go otherwise.

So it's interesting,

You know,

Meditation and mindfulness,

It's one thing to practice when everything is peaceful and going your way.

It's another thing to practice when things really are changing,

When things really are challenging,

When we notice what really triggers us or really gets us bound up in feeling all of those feelings and really wanting to hold on and nurture them and carry that with us.

And so this year has been such an incredible year in so many ways.

It has been both illuminating,

It has been challenging,

And every step of the way it has also been a part of your sacred time here on the planet.

And that is not to be overlooked or disregarded because every part of your life is sacred and all of this is temporary.

But we get to be alive right now,

We get to reflect on the year,

We get to consider,

Wow,

What do I feel ready to release?

How do I want to move forward into the new year?

And once we can reckon with and offer that loving kindness and that compassion to every part of our journey,

Then we have so much energy and this really full and present heart that can say,

What is the intention I wish to cast for the days to come?

How would I like to step forward into my life as we cross this threshold from one year to the next?

So I hope that as you go through this experience you find more friendship with your own self and your own journey.

I hope that you find more relief as you discover that which you are ready to release and let go of.

And I wish you every blessing for your journey today and for the days to come.

Thanks for listening.