4 Steps To Better Mental Health: The Art Of Letting Go

Welcome to the Breakdown to Breakthrough Podcast.

My name is Lisa A.

Romano.

I am a life coach,

Best-selling author,

YouTube vlogger,

Meditation teacher,

And expert in the field of codependency and narcissistic abuse.

I am a believer in the power of an organized mind.

My aim is to help people learn what it means to live above the veil of consciousness rather than living a reactive life.

May your heart feel blessed,

Your mind feel expanded,

And your spirit find hope as you spend time with me here at the Breakdown to Breakthrough Podcast.

Namaste,

Everybody.

Lisa A.

Romano here,

The Breakthrough Life Coach.

Today,

I want to teach you about fear,

About attachments,

About going on resistance,

And how you can live in a higher state of vibrations that allow you to experience much more love and light in your life.

What we have to understand is that we are flesh beings,

But more than that,

We are vibrational beings that have come here to transcend the flesh,

Meaning that we've come here to overcome the earthly experiences that keep us stuck,

Stuck out emotionally,

Psychologically.

We can pigeonhole ourselves in life by thinking a thought that is out of alignment with what we really are.

When you know that you are truly an emotional and vibrational being,

You are an energetic being,

That you are more energy than you are physical,

Then it might help you to think about yourself in those terms.

When you are going up against a difficult time in your life,

It might be very,

Very helpful for you to understand that you have come to overcome physical ideas and beliefs that keep you stuck and help you feel dank and heavy.

You've actually come to merge with the light,

The light that you are.

The goal for me is to be non-attached because I understand that as a vibrational being,

I am unattached.

I have the ability to take my mind and to take my perception as far as I want to take it.

When I do that,

When I do it through visualization,

When I do it through intention,

When I do it through meditation,

When I take my thoughts to higher realms,

When I take my thoughts and I think higher type thoughts,

Healthier thoughts,

More freeing thoughts,

I'm able to experience a lightness in my body that a lot of people can't and don't because they're not doing this type of mental work and this intentful work.

They're not governing their minds on purpose.

What happens is you will get caught up in earthly ideas.

You will get caught up in illusions.

You will get caught up in materialism,

And if you're not very careful,

You'll believe in them too.

The other thing that I wish that people would understand is that everything that you experience,

Every emotion is a teacher.

Everything that you feel has been meant to be embraced.

It has not been meant to push away and to deny and to suppress and to judge.

Everything,

Every feeling that you experience is sort of here to teach you about where you are,

Where what is,

Where your conscious mind is,

Where you are flowing your attention,

Which is everything.

Remember,

What you give your attention to is usually what will grow and what will expand What you're trying to control usually gets worse.

It's sort of like somebody who has acne,

And they're freaking out about their acne,

And they're trying to control their acne,

And they're washing their face so much,

And then all of a sudden their face is dried out.

Not only are they having these breakouts,

But now they also have a lot of dry skin,

Which is making them more uncomfortable,

More irritated,

More itchy.

What happens then?

You try to control it more,

More creams,

More makeup,

And here we go.

It's trying to control this situation.

There's a lot of fear,

And there's a lot of resistance,

And there's a lot of beating the drum of this thing that you don't want,

And lo and behold,

It gets worse.

If we just take that analogy,

And we imagine that we have come to overcome and become non-resistant so that we can live in the flow,

And that's really hard to do because that means that you have to accept what's showing up,

Right?

But when you understand that everything is transient,

Everything that you experience is temporary,

Everything that you're experiencing,

You're experiencing for the opportunity to transcend it and to let go of it so that you don't have to feel stuck in your body with your thoughts and your mind,

So that you don't have to be controlled by anything or anyone.

I can tell you that for me,

I don't want to be controlled by anyone or anything.

I realized years ago that when I thought someone was controlling me,

What was really happening was I was controlling myself.

I felt controlled by this subconscious programming,

By this codependency.

I was controlled by living below the veil.

I was in loops of ideas and loops of beliefs,

And I was doing the same things over and over and over.

I was stuck with the same type of people having the same types of conversations,

So it looked like they were controlling me,

But what was really controlling me was the way I was looking at the situation.

When I learned to become more non-resistant,

When I learned to have tea with my fear,

When I learned to have tea with anger,

When I learned to say,

Anger,

What are you trying to teach me?

What am I afraid of?

Why am I afraid of that?

What am I trying to control?

What do I need to transcend?

When I started looking at my emotions in that light,

Embracing them like I would friends,

That's when my mind began to shift.

When I understood that when I was going through my divorce and I was afraid to get divorced and I was begging my ex-husband to change,

Please do this and please do that,

I realized that I was putting all my power outside of me.

The illusion was if your ass changes,

If you change,

Then I can stay here and then I don't have to face my codependency.

I don't have to face I am not enough.

I don't have to face living on my own.

I don't have to face becoming completely responsible for how I feel and completely responsible for the energy people that I have in my life.

I can go on and stay in this house and never have to get another house.

You can go on and we can get another business and I never have to work for myself and take care of the kids by myself.

I never have to hear my mother tell me,

Oh,

You're a selfish bitch because you divorced this man.

Isn't he so wonderful?

I didn't have to face any of it if my ex-husband changed.

And then I realized that in that whole dynamic,

It was me being controlled by me.

It was a thought,

A fear,

A linchpin,

An attachment,

The fear of letting go,

The fear of what might be.

It was me believing that I was supposed to stay stuck,

Right?

I was supposed to not change.

And that's wrong.

We've come to transcend and the power to transcend is within us,

But we have to learn how to transcend the thoughts that are in our head so that we can cut these psychic cords and sometimes karmic cords to generations from the past.

If you're the grandchild of an alcoholic,

You have been affected by perhaps people you've never met.

And so there are cords that you need to cut.

And it all starts with understanding that the goal is to become not attached.

The goal is to have love and light move into your body.

The goal is to raise your vibrations because when you go toe to toe with a dynamic that you don't appreciate,

You don't win,

You get stuck.

It's when you let go,

You can transcend.

And when you're up here,

You're in the higher vibrational frequencies.

That's where magic can happen.

That's where doors open and that's where true change can take place.

But going toe to toe with a dynamic that you're not happy about is not going to help you ascend it and you've come to ascend.

So what I want to do is I want to offer you some steps.

The first thing that you want to do is you want to identify your fear.

So go ahead,

Take out a piece of paper and ask yourself,

What are my top three fears right here,

Right now?

The second thing you want to do is you want to identify the attachments you have to those fears.

So it sounds like this.

Why do I fear that?

Why do I fear my ex-husband cheating on me?

Why do I fear,

Um,

Not taking care of my mom anymore?

Why do I fear going no contact with my sibling?

What am I afraid of?

Right?

And so you write those things down,

Figure out what you're attached to.

The third step is you're going to be very,

Very honest with yourself and ask yourself,

What am I trying to control?

What am I trying to control?

And what you'll probably discover is that you're trying to control things you can't control.

So let's say you're,

You are afraid of going no contact with your sibling,

Okay?

And you identify that going no contact with your sibling,

You're attached to,

Or you're afraid of what people are going to say about you.

So then the third step is what am I trying to control?

I'm trying to control what people say about me.

Once you identify what you're trying to control,

The fourth step is to try to let go of that thing you're trying to control.

Because you can't control anything or anyone outside of you,

And that's not where your energy is going to be used very wisely.

Your energy is going to be used wisely when you're focusing on what you can control,

When you're governing your own mind,

When you're paying attention to what you do and what you think.

And so if you're worried about what people think about you,

In my opinion,

That falls under the umbrella of codependency.

I'm trying to control what you think about me.

So I'm going to stay small and not be super responsible for how I feel,

And not be super responsible for the energy that you bring into my life,

Which is toxic.

And I'm not going to tell the truth because I'm afraid of what you're going to say about me.

And then I might be chastised or excommunicated from this circle of friends or family,

And then I will feel alone.

And then I will feel this attachment trauma.

I will feel exasperated.

I will feel depressed and despondent because I'm so alone.

So that's what a lot of people are afraid of.

But the truth is that we're never really alone.

And we're never alone because we're connected to everything.

So it's this feeling that we're connecting to and this idea and these beliefs that when other people are talking to us,

We're not alone.

If you come from a dysfunctional home and you have people gaslighting you,

If you have been narcissistically abused,

If you're the adult child of a narcissist or the child of an alcoholic,

If you have passive aggressive family members and you're hanging out with them and you think that because you're with them physically,

You're connected to them in a healthy way,

You're not.

You're not.

And it is healthier for you to see that and let that go so that you can begin flying high in a higher state of consciousness and higher states of vibrational frequencies and you increase your chances exponentially of pulling people into your experience that are actually good for you.

But you want to identify the fear,

Identify what you're attached to,

Identify what you're trying to control.

And the fourth step is work on doing what you can to let those things go and to let go of those attachments.

One idea that really helps me is that I understand that my goal is to be as non-attached as possible,

To be as non-resistant to everything that happens in my experience so that nothing can nail me against the wall.

Nothing can nail me to the wall.

So that means that if people dislike me,

If people say mean things about me,

I have to be non-resistant.

I've worked myself to a point where I can say,

I'm sorry you feel that way,

Namaste,

You're entitled to your opinion.

It's not my job to control what you think about me.

And I'm not coming from a narcissistic place.

I'm coming from a state of peace and love and acceptance of you and your opinion and an acceptance of love for myself because I'm not responsible for how you see me.

And people who are below the veil are always projecting.

So somebody who isn't resonating in a very high frequency,

I accept that they could be projecting some lack in themselves onto me or onto you or onto someone else.

It's extremely,

Extremely difficult,

Extremely.

And it is a warrior's path to be aware of something that's happening in the external environment and to become non-resistant to it and to not want to control it and to accept that it's there and then to do what you can to be non-resistant to what's happening.

When my mom was in the home with my dad and I knew my dad wasn't being very kind to her,

There was very little that I could do about it.

My siblings were not willing to go to court and gain guardianship over my mom.

And I knew that I wasn't going to start this fight unless I was going to be able to win the fight.

And I had to accept that I wasn't going to start this fight because I knew I wasn't going to win.

It was very difficult because I had to become non-resistant to this idea that my mother was in a situation that was unhealthy,

That was abusive,

And I could not control.

And it wasn't because I didn't care.

It was because I understood that vibrationally,

If I tried to control this,

I was going to make everything worse.

I was going to bring a negative energy to it.

And I knew that only love and light can transform anything.

And so I had to become non-resistant to it.

I had to let it go.

I had to give it over to the light and say,

Okay,

I'm willing to let this go.

I'm willing to stay in a higher,

Oops,

There goes my microphone.

I'm willing to stay in a higher state of awareness and a higher frequency and believe and hope that this situation transforms for all of us.

And I spent time,

I'm not even kidding,

I read my journal to Anthony.

Back in October,

I wrote in my journal that I want my mom to pass and I want to be at her funeral and I want the funeral to feel like it's peace and love.

I do not want my mom to live like this in hospice care and to be bedridden for years and to have to put up with this abuse.

And that if she wasn't going to get better,

Then her transition was better for her and better for us all.

And sure enough,

That's exactly what happened.

So becoming non-resistant will save your sanity and it's not easy.

And that's why I create so many videos because I want you guys to be able to hear this message over and over and over and feel supported as you begin to make changes in your life.

So remember that you are enough,

You are enough.

Remember that hanging on to people who treat you like you're nothing does nothing but rob your soul of the magic and the beauty that is the awakened life.

Know that people are permitted to have their opinions of you and you don't have to meet them there.

You can always send them love and light,

Lift them up in love and light,

Hope that they wake up and you can always raise yourself up in love and light and know that at your core,

You are absolutely divine and perfect and that you have come and you have incarnated to transcend all.

And in this life experience,

If you become conscious enough,

If you allow your mind to more in the prefrontal lobe and the neocortex cortex than the amygdala,

Then you can actually overcome triggers.

You can overcome faulty belief systems and you can create heaven on earth.

You really,

Really can.

So namaste dear ones,

Remember that there is a divine light inside of you and there's a divine light in everybody,

But not everybody has that light turned on and you need conscious and deliberate free will and thought to turn the light on in yourself.

And if other people aren't turning that light on,

We have to accept that and we have to lift them up in our own thoughts and then let them go in love and light and raise them up in love and light.

And then we have to focus on ourselves and we have to transform these thoughts in our head until they're in alignment with non-resistance and love and light.

That's what we have to do.

And it's not easy,

But it can be done.

Namaste dear ones.

I bow to the love and the light that is absolutely in you.

Bye for now.

If you're ready to break through the past and begin the inner transformation journey that will lead to inner confidence,

Spiritual growth,

Relationship contentment,

And financial abundance,

The 12-week Breakthrough Coaching Program is for you.

It is the inner transformational blueprint you need to live a successful life.

Visit www.

LisaARomano.

Com to learn more.

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