Hello and welcome to day 15 of a 30-day experiment where I am living from love rather than fear.
My name is Liz Scott and every day for 30 days I bring my awareness back to a place of love.
So if I feel agitation,
Frustration,
Anxiety,
Stress,
Overwhelm,
As soon as I notice these unsettled feelings,
And I call these unsettled feelings fearful feelings,
As soon as I notice those fearful-based feelings,
I bring my awareness back to the settled space within me and I consciously and deliberately and intentionally live from a place of love.
And the request is that you join me either for the day or for the full 30 days and just have a go yourself,
See what happens when you intentionally bring your awareness back to love.
Today can be best summarised as a day full of irritations.
Have you ever had a day when everything just seems to be out to make you irritable?
Things that normally don't bother me in the slightest,
It's like they've been magnified.
My husband has just come home,
He's been away for a couple of days and I notice the difference in noise level in the house.
When I come into my office and record and do some audio recordings,
I'm very conscious of the noise in the house.
Well for a couple of days it's been very quiet because my husband has been away and now it just feels that every single noise is magnified.
It feels like he's crashing around the house,
Slamming doors and making noise with saucepans in the kitchen,
Beeps and alarms are going off.
The truth is it's no different than normal but today it just feels like every noise and irritation has been magnified.
Do you know that kind of feeling where I feel like I'm a bit of a martyr,
I kind of fall into this agitated thought pattern which is,
Why can't everybody respect me like I respect them?
I'm the one that does everything and nobody takes care of me or looks out for me or respects me and what I'm up to.
That's the way it's turned up in me.
So I've noticed those agitated thoughts and feelings and they haven't gone away during the day.
But what I have noticed is that because I'm living from a place of love rather than fear and I've noticed these feelings,
I absolutely deeply know that my husband is not to blame for my agitation and irritation.
It looks like it but I know that can't be the case.
So love has shown up by keeping me separate from my husband.
I haven't been trying to communicate with him or get annoyed at him or to tell him to be quiet.
What I've done is I've kept to my office and I have allowed myself to feel the feelings,
Feel the agitation and know that it's not the right time to communicate with him.
So that's been really important.
And then at the end of the day when I sat down and reflected on the day and really reflected as part of the experiment,
As part of the living from love rather than fear experiment,
I've begun to realise something quite simple which is that I have been in agitated thinking all day.
And when I'm in agitated thinking,
It looks like the world is out to get me.
So from a place of love and from a place of compassion and understanding,
I'm not blaming myself for how I've responded.
And that's really important because in the past I would have been angry at myself for being frustrated and angry.
I would have just thought,
You know,
This is not the way I ought to behave.
But what's really useful is that what I'm realising is that when I treat myself with compassion and love,
I just see that I've been in agitated thinking and there's nothing wrong in that.
And I noticed that for me,
Habitually,
I have these stories,
Like these martyr stories,
These stories where I'm the one that does everything and nobody else does anything.
And those stories aren't true.
What those stories do is they just remind me that I'm living in a fear-based world and to bring my awareness back to love.
And bringing my awareness back to love doesn't mean that these agitated thoughts and feelings suddenly disappear.
When I bring my attention back to love,
What this can mean is that I just navigate carefully during the day.
And in this instance,
I just kept myself separate from my husband and waited until those feelings had really,
Really settled.
So in summary,
Today has been a reminder that living from a place of fear or experiencing fearful thoughts is going to happen.
And I don't need to add or fuel those stories of fearful thoughts.
When I notice them,
I can bring my awareness back to love.
That doesn't necessarily mean those stories disappear,
But I do access wisdom and I listen and trust that wisdom.
And for me today,
That wisdom was don't try and communicate or sort this out from a place of agitation.
And then later in the day,
As my thinking and thoughts settled,
I really felt compassion for myself.
I didn't blame myself or get annoyed at myself for feeling irritable.
So today has been all about a learning of compassion and understanding.
That's what I've learned from the 15th day of my experiment.
How are you getting on with the experiment of living from love rather than fear?
I'd really appreciate hearing your stories and what you're noticing as you navigate through your day and you bring your awareness back to love.
Thank you.
