Hello and welcome to five minutes in nature with me Liz Scott and there's a very warm sun beating down through dark clouds.
There's a real feel that there might be a bit of rain still left in the air and the moorland here I think would really love a bit more rain.
It's very green the grass and the ferns are just coming through and they've got this very light lime green like colour about them at the moment and soon they will be thick and dark green across the hillsides.
At the moment it's just a haze of light lime green and today I just want to tell you a little story about one of my clients.
She's starting a new job and today is the reflection on what she got really learnt for herself or reflected on for herself that felt so wise that I wanted to share it with you.
So she's starting this new job and she directly asked me like what do you think I should do starting out in this new job?
Now as a coach I mean I've got no idea anyway but as a coach that's not what I'm employed to do.
I'm there to help her find her own answers and I haven't started a new job for years so I wouldn't have any experience anyway.
So we had this wonderful conversation where I just asked a few more questions and got an understanding of where she was and then she came to this conclusion herself and I think it's really wise.
She said I think what I need to do is I need to go into this new role and I need to spend the first two or three months just getting to know people and understanding how this new business works.
I want to meet people and ask questions and find out from them and build relationships.
She said I think what I really need to do is ask questions and I love that.
I mean my whole job and role is about asking questions.
I'm brilliant at asking questions of people and listening and helping them to hear their own answers which are basically the most powerful answers to hear.
And I loved what she said and it reminded me again of the importance of listening and asking questions.
We are apt often just to charge into a situation,
Maybe a conversation,
Maybe with a friend or a family member where we already kind of want to influence the outcome of our interaction.
So we don't go in there with curiosity,
We go in there we go in with an agenda.
And one of the things I know for sure is that most people can sniff out your agenda from a mile off.
Like if there's one way that you want to have somebody dig their heels in and not budge,
It's go in with an agenda.
Go in and try and make someone change their minds.
The way to really support people as far as I can see is to go in and ask questions.
Ask questions because what happens is as you ask questions of somebody not only do you begin to understand them but that person also begins to understand themselves better.
As you ask a question,
A question that is not challenging or rude but a question that comes from a space of curiosity or wonderment,
Like I wonder why or I wonder what that's about.
If you genuinely can stand in that place of curiosity,
People are ready to put down their armor and shields and be reflective and ask questions of themselves that maybe they wouldn't ask unless there was somebody there to witness them and to be curious and non-judgmental about their answers.
So today is all about reflecting on whether you ask questions of others,
Whether you go in and you want to understand someone rather than tell somebody what to do.
There's actually a course on Insight Timer that I've produced about well-being listening,
So please do go and check that out if you're interested.
But in the meantime,
I just want you to reflect on you as a listener.
Do you go in and listen?
Do you ask questions or do you tend to barge in and try and set your agenda and have somebody change their minds by the power of your intellect and your ability to challenge them to change their opinion?
Do you ask questions or do you try and bulldoze someone?
To change their minds.
