A Counterintuitive Approach To Stress

Welcome to The Daily Insight.

My name is Lou Redman and today's practice was inspired by this feeling I get every time before I give a presentation,

Facilitate a class or even prepare this daily insight.

And that is a form of stress.

What I find compelling is that I want to be doing all of those things.

So that means although I'm a meditation teacher,

I want to feel stress.

I find this to be a great area.

Meditation is supposed to help us to relieve our stress.

In my work here on Insight Timer,

I'm not really trying to teach stress relief.

I hope that becomes a byproduct,

But my main intention is spiritual development.

And in my experience,

Nothing develops your spirit more than putting yourself in uncomfortable situations.

We grow our physical muscles by stressing them.

We grow our emotional muscles by doing the same.

Stress gets a really bad reputation.

I get it.

Being overstressed causes anxiety,

Breakdowns and innumerable health problems.

Where I'm going with this is not for you to increase stress.

It's for you to come into a more refined relationship with your stressors.

I want you to be able to note the difference between good stress and toxic stress.

We'll do this in a very pragmatic way.

That is by asking and answering questions about our stress.

The questions are one,

What is causing me stress?

Two,

Is this stress helping me to become the best version of myself?

Three,

What can I do about it?

Four,

Can I accept if it doesn't work out?

If you listen to the 20 minute version of this,

You'll hear specific examples.

But for now,

We're going to get right into this practice for your own experience.

Go ahead and close your eyes if you haven't.

Allow your body to settle.

Allow a smooth breath in and out to release and attune and connect with yourself and to connect with your breath.

I'd like to ask this first question.

Have you asked this first question?

What is causing me stress?

This may be a specific event that you're dealing with.

It might be a recurring stressor that you have.

Maybe it's just this general overwhelm that you feel.

It's allowing whatever comes up to just be there noting,

What is causing me stress?

If nothing's coming up,

Just noticing the effect that your body's feeling right now.

Now we're going to find a specific part of your body that can feel this stress.

Maybe it's a tightness in your chest or your neck,

An ease in your stomach.

If you can't find a specific,

Just be with the whole body.

Just allowing for another breath again,

This emotion to be here.

Not needing to run from it.

This too can be here.

Moving on to this next question.

Is this stress helping me become the best version of myself?

Take a moment to think about who the best version of yourself is.

What values and qualities do they possess?

Maybe it's compassionate,

Courageous,

Fulfilled,

Responsible,

Loyal.

There's so many values and ways that we can live our life.

We need you to choose what's meaningful to us.

Does this stress that you're feeling align with who that person is?

Maybe ask yourself,

What is on the other side of this stress?

Is there growth and fulfillment?

Or is this stress toxic?

Is it hurting you?

Taking away from your ability to be and to express yourself.

To live your full and joyful and vibrant life.

Remember that there's no wrong or right way to do this.

We're simply just noticing,

Practicing,

And seeing if we can relate to this stress in a different way.

So maybe you have an answer and maybe you don't.

It's okay to really not know if this is helping you to be the best version of yourself.

Know that this stress,

Whether it's good or bad,

It really only wants the best for you.

It's a physiological response designed to keep you safe and away from danger.

And how awesome is that that we have this in our bodies?

So maybe you can see this stress in a new way.

Seeing for the intention that's behind it,

Maybe even thanking it for being here,

Good or toxic.

It just wants to keep you safe.

And moving on to the next question,

What can I do about it?

Maybe there's something at work that's stressing you.

Can you make a to-do list?

Can you make a call?

Can you start getting to work?

Maybe you do need a stress relief meditation.

And if it's a no,

Maybe there's a change that has to be made.

Maybe a conversation that has to be had.

Remember,

Not all of this is going to be easy.

There's also stress in making changes.

But if it aligns with the highest version of ourself,

Then it's something that's worth exploring.

I'd like to offer you some affirmations to help you handle this stress now,

Regardless if your answer was yes or no to the previous question.

So maybe repeating this to yourself or out loud or just listening.

I can handle this.

I have the tools to be with this.

By being with this,

I am growing.

I am supported by unseen forces.

With each breath,

Just develop that sense of easefulness in being and feeling that support.

And then visualize yourself doing what you think it is that you need to do.

And then lastly,

Can I accept if it doesn't work out?

Be asked this at the center of your being.

And trying to connect with that deeper part of all of us that knows that everything is changing,

Everything is transient.

That no matter what happens,

Barring our own leaving of this world,

That we are able to handle it.

And that is the core of our truth,

The core of that feeling of self-worth and that feeling of being held and being enough.

I'd like to repeat this to yourself.

I am enough.

I don't have to be anyone,

Do anything,

Or achieve any goal.

I am always,

Always enough.

Repeating that.

I am enough.

Can you accept?

And then slowly begin to come back and open your eyes whenever you are ready.

I hope that process and that practice,

Those questions help you in some way.

And I'd love to hear from you,

So leave a comment or a question on that.

With the daily insight,

I get to reply via audio,

So there is a lot more that I can say.

Thank you for practicing with me.

Namaste.