This is Marion.
In this exercise we're going to practice listening.
With practice and presence,
We can learn to be extraordinarily good listeners.
This enables us to create common ground.
We are better positioned to see and hear each other,
Not as adversaries or as problems that require solving.
We see each other simply as people.
We connect.
Through deep listening,
We become better at leading,
Partnering,
Parenting.
We begin by shifting ourselves into the beautiful space of our mind where we access our empathy,
Curiosity,
And compassion.
We will start with some deep breaths and a posture of sitting up straight and tall.
Take a deep breath in through the nose,
Nice and slow and deep.
Pause and then slowly and gently release through the mouth.
Another deep breath in,
Pause,
And slow release out.
One more really deep energizing breath in,
Pause,
And a slow release out.
Now allow your breath to return to normal.
Follow the natural rhythm of your breath.
Follow the flow.
Just breathe.
If you've not already done so,
Gently close your eyes.
Just breathe.
Follow the rhythm of your breath.
Just breathe.
Think of a conversation that you had that involved some form of conflict,
A conversation that perhaps did not go as well as you would have liked.
If your mind is very active today,
That's okay.
Just take a few more deep breaths in and really try to elongate the exhales.
Really sink into the exhales and see if you can give yourself permission to experiment with this,
To play with this a little.
What is the conversation that you want to work with today?
What is the conversation that you'd like to work with today?
Just choose something and we'll see how it goes.
Recall the conversation.
Take yourself back there.
Take yourself back to that conversation and see yourself.
What do you see?
What is the expression on your face?
What is your posture?
Hear yourself.
What is the tone of your voice?
What emotions are you feeling?
Where do you feel these emotions in your body?
Stay here for a moment.
Stay with these sensations and notice how it feels.
Notice the impact of this communication in your body.
Notice this.
What do you feel?
Where do you feel it?
Now take a really deep breath and on the exhale let the image go.
Any tension you're feeling,
Let it go.
Another deep breath in and out,
Whatever you're holding onto,
Let it go,
Let it go.
Notice the room around you.
It is bright,
Peaceful,
Sunlight streaming in through the large clear glass windows.
Outside,
You see beautiful mature trees swaying against a cloudless blue sky.
Your body,
Your mind,
Your emotions,
Feel it harmony here.
Inside the room,
It is quiet,
Peaceful.
You are sitting in an oversized and comfortable chair.
You're sitting up straight,
Tall,
Confident,
Relaxed.
You're smiling.
See yourself.
You are calm and at peace.
Breathe this in.
You are here with the intention of learning,
Learning a new perspective.
Your goal is not to fix or to solve or to judge.
For the next few minutes,
Your intent is simply to be here,
To listen.
You are calm and at peace.
Breathe this in.
Seated across from you is the person with whom you have had the conflict.
You smile and offer a warm greeting.
You thank them for being here.
Picture this person sitting across from you.
See them.
What do you see?
There's no judgment here in this space.
Simply observing what do you see?
Take a breath and for a moment,
Pause and think of what you value about this person sitting in front of you.
What are some of the qualities this person has that you value?
If this is someone with whom you have a difficult or an imbecile relationship,
Try to picture them not as an adversary but as someone that you have something in common with.
Like you,
They are someone's child.
Perhaps they have siblings or their own children or nieces or nephews.
Allow yourself to see them as their loved ones see them.
Picture them with their loved ones around them.
There's laughter and love.
See this.
They are surrounded by people that love them.
You smile at them warmly,
Sincerely.
You feel the tension in the room relax.
You allow yourself to relax.
Over the next few minutes,
We're going to recreate the conversation,
Inserting empathy and curiosity.
There's nothing to solve,
Not here,
Not now.
Nothing to solve,
Simply to be.
Be present.
Be here.
Picture yourself.
You're listening,
Not judging,
Not interrupting,
Not solving.
Listening.
Picture this.
What do you see?
What is your posture?
What is the expression on your face?
What emotions are you feeling?
Where do you feel these emotions in your body?
As the person with whom you're having the conversation begins to open up and share,
You notice that you are leaning in.
You are listening intently.
There's no judgment,
No desire to fix or to solve.
In this moment,
You're simply listening.
Notice how this feels.
What are you feeling?
How of a sudden you tense up.
They just said something that you don't believe to be true.
Your body tenses.
You begin to interrupt.
Words,
Thoughts are rushing forward.
You feel a strong urge to speak and then you stop.
You pause.
You take a deep breath and then you breathe out.
You breathe out any tension,
Anxiety,
The need to interject.
You let it go.
You let it go.
And you picture this person across from you,
Not as an adversary,
Not as a problem to be solved.
You see them as their loved ones see them.
You listen.
There is no judgment.
There is interest and curiosity.
They're sharing very deeply.
You had no idea of the issues that they are dealing with.
You realize,
Just like you,
Some of the fears they are dealing with,
Or they may be imagined,
They feel real.
You notice a pull in your chest,
A heaviness.
Your body tenses.
There's a level of connection you feel.
You feel the weight,
The heaviness.
They feel.
Feel this.
Feel this.
Feel the heaviness.
Feel the weight.
Some of their weight,
Their burden,
Has shifted to you.
You take a deep breath,
Inhaling deeply.
Your spine extends upward.
You release tension,
Anxiety that was transferred to you.
You're letting it go.
Again,
A deep breath in.
You feel emotion,
Empathy.
And then you let it go.
The room feels lighter.
You sense this.
You feel the lightness in your body.
There's understanding,
Empathy.
There's warmth and connection.
Feel this.
Feel this.
More often than not,
We jump to problem solving,
To fixing without a deep interest in investigating the underlying issues,
The real sources of conflict.
Things like lack of trust,
Feeling like we're not seen or heard,
Feelings of being afraid,
Fear of change,
Fear of losing out,
Fear of the unknown.
Curiosity and empathy allow us to get beneath the surface.
They allow us to connect.
Feel the connection.
Feel this.
Feel the connection.
How might you use curiosity and empathy to deal with conflict?
What is the relationship you have that might benefit from more empathy and curiosity?
What is one small step you might take to move forward to become a better listener?
I'm going to stay here for a moment.
Allow yourself to sit with whatever you're feeling in this moment.
Over the next minute,
The music will finally fade out,
At which time you may want to take a moment to quietly reflect.
Oh yeah,
Making theanton02.
