According to Martin Luther King Jr.
,
A Nobel laureate and civil rights activist,
He says that the ultimate measure of a person is not where they stand in a moment of comfort and convenience,
But where a person stands during times of great challenge and controversy.
How might you stand during times of great challenge and controversy in your life?
Do you treat yourself differently than when your life is comfortable and convenient?
And the idea here is to not make yourself right or wrong if in fact you treat yourself differently when things are going well versus when things are a struggle.
Instead being able to bring an awareness to your pattern and apply a deep sense of curiosity,
Asking yourself why?
What purpose is it serving to treat yourself differently when you're the best version of yourself and the worst version of yourself?
It's not uncommon when we feel like we are the worst versions of ourselves to apply a deep layer of added judgment,
Self-criticism,
Self-blame,
Or even blaming others.
Have you started to notice that your pattern leaves you powerless instead of empowered?
And how might you move one step closer to accepting and honoring the struggle with grace,
With understanding,
With patience?
And so taking a couple of moments to find yourself in a comfortable position,
Allowing both soles of your feet to connect to the floor and gently resting your hands on your thighs or down at your sides,
Consciously allowing your shoulders to drop.
If it feels comfortable,
You can gently close your eyes or just soften the gaze downwards,
Allowing as much external distraction to be eliminated as you take some time to tune in to this experience.
Notice what it feels like in your body to grow the spine tall,
Feeling this alert yet relaxed posture.
Focus your attention on your flow of breath and allowing yourself to fully settle into your body.
When you're ready,
See if you might be able to bring your attention to an event or experience or something that you have done particularly well.
It doesn't matter how big or small or how recent or how long ago.
See if you might be able to bring it to mind.
And if no particular event or experience comes to your mind,
Just simply think of a good quality that is alive within you.
What may have been the facial expression on your face during the event or experience or thing that you have done well?
What may have your posture have looked like or body language during this time?
And notice what it feels like to extend and send yourself well wishes for a job well done.
What does it feel like to extend yourself well wishes for continued happiness?
Remembering that there's no right or wrong sensation or thought or feeling that you should or shouldn't feel while doing this.
We're just simply tuning in.
When you're ready,
Bring to mind an experience or an event that perhaps you feel you didn't do well.
It doesn't matter how big or how small or how long ago or how recent.
And remembering that you are safe here.
As you hold this experience in your thoughts,
It's not uncommon to notice a different type of energy or sensation flowing through the body.
And if you need a couple of extra moments,
Definitely take those to tune in and focus on your sensation of breathing to allow any difficult sensation to arise.
But to not take hold.
As you think about this event or experience that you aren't particularly proud of,
See if you can think about what would you have wanted to hear during that time?
What were the words that you would have liked to have heard either from yourself or from someone close to you?
Perhaps this may be,
It's okay.
Everything will be all right.
Perhaps it's,
You tried your best.
What does it feel like to extend words of comfort and kindness to the version of yourself that you are holding in your mind during a time where you don't think you did something particularly well?
How do you want to treat yourself during times of struggle and controversy?
Knowing that it takes time to feel a genuine sense of compassion and patience and understanding to arise,
Especially if you have spent a long time criticizing,
Judging,
Regretting or resenting.
But much like a strength training program where we have to consistently lift a weight in order to build a muscle,
To apply the same concept to disrupting any patterns that are no longer serving you,
We must consistently meet ourselves every day.
And much like you've done in this practice,
Remembering that it takes practice to send yourself words of comfort.
Gently bringing your attention back to your flow of breath and noticing and observing how you feel in this moment.
Gently bringing your attention back to your surroundings,
Bringing some subtle movements to the fingertips and the toes and making any movement in your body that feels releasing and really good.
Perhaps a big stretch or a twist side to side.
And let how you feel now guide you,
Sending yourself words of comfort that you need to hear and well wishes for happiness and peace.
