Wanting instant answers instead of just allowing things to be.
Yeah,
I will tell you instant answers,
You know,
Kind of needing this,
I need to know how this is going to turn out is very much indicative of,
Of the ego,
Of separate self,
Right?
Very much.
I need to know this,
Right?
I need to know this subject object.
It's no longer me sitting here that actually is perfectly safe and okay,
But a little me in my head,
Right,
Or the VR headset,
Right,
The little avatar needs to know.
And the thought so believable that I need to know it,
Creating all this tension and stress.
But then you can investigate and you come in,
You breathe,
Right,
First breathe,
Come into the body,
Always good to come into the body first,
Breathe,
Whoo,
Kind of pull yourself out a little bit.
And then to look at it,
Who needs to know that?
Why did I think I needed to know that?
How many things?
I mean,
There's always going to be things that are unanswered.
And we've gone through our whole lives that way.
But then all of a sudden,
The ego wants to feed on one little thing,
I need to know how this is going to turn out.
Right?
Instead of investigating and saying,
Well,
Well,
Well,
Do I need to know because if I'm coming in and breathing and feeling spaciousness and ease,
Once I pull myself out of the story,
And then again,
I feel that okay,
That sense of all right,
Being all right,
Where was the me that needed to know?
Where did it go?
Where did it go?
It's not here because it's an illusion,
A thought created illusion,
A compelling illusion that we have lived with our whole lives.
But once you pulled yourself,
You can't be thinking,
While you're thinking,
I need to have an answer to this.
There's a belief in a little separate me.
But the moment you come in and breathe,
And you're in your body,
It doesn't exist because it only exists in the thought without the thought it doesn't exist.
This is what we're trying to see without the thought it doesn't exist.
But then we just jump right back up in the thought,
Oh,
There it is.
There it is.
So look,
Where did it go?
Where did it go?
A minute ago,
I was petrified of something that I felt I needed to have an answer,
I needed to know this was resolved.
And then I come in and I breathed and I felt that I felt the discomfort,
Because for sure it was coming with some discomfort,
Some contractions and tightening.
And I breathed and I told myself it's okay to feel this and I can welcome the feelings and I can be here with it.
Right?
And then I can say,
Well,
Where,
Where is that me that needed to know?
It's like the pulling back the curtain on the Wizard of Oz.
Oh,
But in this case,
It's not just this great man,
You know,
To this little man,
There's no one.
And you go,
Oh,
I have let this thought pattern,
This thought habit,
My whole life rule my life.
But when I stopped and started investigating it,
Looking to see if what it was pointing to was true,
Will I be happy if I get over there?
Why can't I be happy now?
Was I happy in the past when I got these things?
Or just where is the little me that I think is going to be happy?
Every time we investigate it,
We're pulling the curtain back and we're seeing,
Oh,
It's not real.
And that is such a deep insight into coming into presence and,
Oh,
It's such a relief.
But the pattern is so strong,
So ingrained,
And it's so deep in our culture,
In our very materialistic,
Egocentric culture.
So it takes time.
It's a lot.
It's a lot of seeing this again and again and again.
So no beating yourself up because it's like,
Man,
I just did that 10 minutes ago and it's back again.
Okay.
Keep looking.
It's a pattern.
It's a pattern.
It's a pattern.
We've got to just keep looking,
Pulling ourselves out.
Every time you do that,
You're trusting this more,
The present moment more than you're trusting your thoughts every single time.
And it may feel like it's just like you can imagine like a big bucket,
A big bucket,
Like one of those five-gallon Home Depot buckets.
And let's say every time you walk by that bucket,
You throw a little tiny pebble in the bucket.
So every time you investigate,
You're putting a little tiny pebble.
After a few weeks,
A few months,
Like you look and that bucket's starting to fill up.
And you're like,
Man,
It felt,
You know,
It feels like these little tiny practices,
But every meditation,
Every time you pull yourself back into the present moment,
Every time you investigate,
You're starting to really see.
And eventually it does just,
And it does get to the point where,
Because again,
The patterns still play out.
There's just,
I don't know what it is,
But there's,
You know,
It's neurological.
Of course,
There are neural pathways that have just been repeated so long.
It's like walking down a path right in the forest.
And if thousands of people have walked down that path every day,
It's really,
Really,
Really deep.
And it's,
You know,
There's nothing growing on it,
Right?
And that's kind of these neural,
These different neural pathways that we have for thinking about ourselves,
The self-referential network.
And so it does take time,
Even as you're seeing,
It takes time to,
It takes time that they start,
They come up less and less.
They're not,
It's not as,
You're not getting lost.
Sorry,
It's less frequent,
But they're still coming up,
But there's just a scene.
There's just a,
See you again.
I see you again.
I see you doubt.
I see you fear,
Right?
Not in a suppressing and not just in a suppressing,
Because if it's something a little bit stronger,
Like we do,
Then you need to come in and feel it.
But very often it's just a,
Oh,
I see you,
I see you.
And it's just,
You're kind of 10 feet away from the bucket and you throw a little pebble in because you're like,
Yep,
Got that.
Yep,
I saw it,
I know.
So it's a process,
It's a process,
But every time,
Every time you look into your thoughts and you see and you question and you pull the thread out of that little me,
The story that's in there,
And you start identifying less with it over time,
It just becomes like you'll,
You'll,
You just see it,
But you're just not as caught up in it.
You're not as caught up in it.
