Forgiveness Of Self

In this meditation,

We are looking into the forgiveness of self,

Starting over.

We move through life trying things,

Making mistakes,

Making decisions,

Some we are happy with and others sometimes second-guessed.

What if I was to tell you that it's all part of the tapestry of life and without these choices,

Good,

Bad or complicated,

You wouldn't be here right now learning to be in stillness with yourself.

Your journey,

Whatever it has included,

Has led you here,

Back to yourself.

Just think about that for a moment.

All the paths that have led you here,

Sitting in this time,

With these people,

On this mat,

In this country.

Trust that you've been brought back to yourself,

As that is what you need right now.

The body knows and the mind follows.

To trust that you are here for a reason is a choice and whatever that reason is,

You could be grateful for it and for the time that you allow for yourself.

Time is a currency we are yet to fully understand.

Today is a collection of 60 minutes gathered together for you to go inward and spend some time here with yourself.

Time could be the most important currency there is and choosing you right now is the best way to spend it.

Bringing your mind to the experiences that have brought you here.

You might want to thank them and hold them in your mind or heart for a moment of gratitude.

This practice might be new to you or maybe you've been practicing for many years.

It's the showing up for yourself time and time again that allows you to grow,

Deepen your understanding of yourself and with time others.

A dedication that is rich in ancient wonder and tradition but in our modern world has never been so crucial to finding our balance.

Look to those experiences now.

Was it a person,

A place or an experience that brought you to meditation?

Show some gratitude even if it's a reason that you've never been grateful for before.

Know that on your journey this dedication to self will be something that you will hold in your heart.

With every layer of consciousness that you peel back you find yourself raw but loved.

Open to the idea of finding something here.

I invite you to let the mind wander to wherever it needs to go.

My suggestions are just that,

Suggestions.

This is your practice and whatever it looks like for you is what you need to see and feel today.

I want you to become curious about your practice and let's see if you can notice,

Notice yourself as if a witness to your own practice and see if you can look at yourself cross-legged or lying on the ground as you are.

Quietly contemplating but as if you're just witnessing this experience rather than having it.

You notice that there's a difference between you and the witness.

The witness of the meditating you.

As this witness you watch focusing on the space between yourself and your thoughts and as the thoughts drop into the background the sound goes with them moving further and further away until the noise is silenced.

There's just you as the witness,

The meditating you and the space,

The vast vast space.

The background fades to nothing.

It is just you and the clarity beyond the inner chatter.

This is a quiet that you seldom have.

You enjoy it,

Letting the quiet wash over you.

There is nothing to do here.

Your thoughts are gone.

You are existing here with nothing required of you at all.

You notice that your body has softened into itself.

Comfort has found its way into the bones of your body.

With comfort you are free to wander in this space,

This quiet expanding space that lives between you and your thoughts.

You take a look around noticing the colors,

The texture,

The temperature.

Are you walking barefoot or floating as if the witness is free of form and simply experiencing this place beyond the noise.

This place in between yourself and your inner voice is free from any expectations,

Criticism and judgments.

It's calm and peaceful and clear.

Beyond your inner narrator it's just quiet.

The quiet is expansive and may even be expanding as you explore this quiet more deeply.

You are safe,

You feel light and you are at peace.

As you wander you find old parts of yourself as memories.

Free from the inner voice you can look at them with pride and love,

Pleased that they are a part of you.

You see each of these parts as essential experiences that have brought you here back to yourself.

Every moment forms a part of you and the things you know to be true about yourself.

The things that make you who you are.

Your layers.

You imagine each of these memories playing for you.

Maybe they're on a stack of TVs like in an old television store or maybe they're memories written in your handwriting neatly arranged into an order.

Maybe they're arranged by date or by the feeling that each of these memories evoke in you.

However these parts and memories are showing up,

Take a moment to breathe them all in.

All the parts of you honouring their place in your story.

As you experience these memories all together there is a joy and you're reminded of the life that you have lived.

It's been full and adventurous and you're grateful.

Each memory is layered atop of one another for one could not happen without the other.

You couldn't be the whole you if one of these memories were to go missing.

You gather them up placing them neatly together.

Taking a moment for each and every one.

Seeing the meaning one at a time.

As you look to these memories you see only love,

Kindness and compassion.

There is no judgement in this place as it is beyond your thoughts and without the thoughts you can only feel warmth for these memories and experiences for they are a part of your being.

As you gather them together filled with loving kindness for yourself and all the wonderful things that have happened to you,

You are deeply grateful.

With this time spent with your memories you feel lighter and you can forgive yourself for all the times that you have doubted yourself or been hard on yourself.

You now know that there was no need.

Anything that happened is past,

It was temporary.

Each part safely stored beyond your thoughts,

Beyond your judgements.

Each part can be visited at any time and shown love at any time.

Each memory now lives within your heart not your mind.

They have transcended the thinking and now live in you with nothing but love around them.

The pieces that make up you are beautiful,

Colourful and uniquely yours.

As you cherish each part I want you to let go of any previous feelings of negativity towards your memories,

Forgiving yourself for feeling anything but love for your life,

Your journey and experiences,

Nothing but love.

Every step is forward even if you have detoured a few times on the route.

Be free of any feelings about this that are not from a place of love and gratitude.

As you stand here in front of your memories loving each one for its part in your life,

Forgive yourself so that next time you experience something you'll know right away how wonderful it was when you look back on it.

Letting all new experiences live with the others in your heart space,

Free from judgement,

Free from the critique.

Every day is a chance to start over.

All you need to do is let go of the day before and keep moving forward.

You'll never need to forget,

All the pieces are important and they'll always be with you but letting go of any that have a hold over you is crucial.

Once you remove the attachment that you had to the feeling or to the thought or anything that these memories said about you,

You can be free.

Because none of these memories say anything about who you are and who you can be,

They're just memories and if you start over every single day you can make choices that honour the life that you want to live.

I invite you now to bring your dreams to mind.

If you're to start over tomorrow,

What will they look like?

In this expansive place where your thoughts are not present and all you have is heart,

What would you see in your dreams without judgement?

Where would you be?

Who would you be with?

How would you construct your future?

And how would you want it to make you feel?

Bring all your dreams together just like you did your memories.

Arrange them in a similar way.

Revisiting how your memories were organised.

Do the same thing with your dreams and your goals.

And as I leave you here in some stillness and silence,

Explore how you would arrange your dreams if you were free of judgement and expectation but were filled with love and possibility.

Be curious to explore every dream individually like you did your memories and I will let you know when it's time to come back.

Deepen your breath now.

Bringing your attention back to your body in the expansive space meditating on the floor before you.

As you take your attention into the body,

You find yourself back in the body.

Taking any little movements that you need,

Maybe wiggling the fingers and the toes.

Start to deepen your breath into the belly.

Feeling the belly rise and fall.

All of us have things that we like to let go of and sometimes we just don't know how.

Your life is your experience and you get to choose and today you chose to meditate.

To meditate on the things that are holding you back.

And you've chosen to see your memories as loving parts of you rather than things that define you or label you.

Everyone makes choices but your choice today was you.

And I think we should take a moment to be grateful for that,

That you chose you.

Beyond anything else you sat here with yourself in stillness and reframed what some of these things mean to you.

Now take your gratitude to your future goals and what showed up for you in those moments of stillness.

These are now a part of you just like your memories.

These are things that you can make happen whenever you choose.

Let's take three deep breaths together.

Breathing in through the nose and sighing out the mouth.

Breathing in through the nose and sighing out the mouth.

One more time in through the nose and sighing out the mouth.

Thank you for joining me.

Namaste.