Hi,
This is Orit Krug,
Board certified dance therapist and trauma and relationship expert.
Today I would love to guide you through a movement-based meditation on letting go of control.
If you feel like you constantly need control and you experience past trauma,
Then please know that this is not a reflection of your character.
This is a reflection of unresolved trauma.
Because when you experienced such pain and hurt in the past,
You didn't have control.
And so now your nervous system and your body feel that if you could just control everything,
You won't experience that pain and hurt again.
And in reality,
We know that having this much control blocks out our ability to let down our guard and love and be vulnerable to the point of having deep connection and intimacy.
So let's explore gently and safely with our bodies today how to finally let go of control.
You can do this meditation in any position you'd like,
Sitting down,
Lying down,
Or maybe even standing up.
Let's take three deep breaths together.
Breathing in and breathing out.
And breathing in.
And breathing out.
One last time.
Breathing in.
And breathing out.
With your eyes closed or your gaze lowered,
I'm now going to invite you to imagine,
Visualize,
Or feel into this sense of control,
This urgency to control when you are in relationship.
And as soon as you feel this,
Notice what comes up in your body.
There may be a certain sensation,
A certain way that your body wants to change position or change posture,
Even in a slight subtle way.
What comes up in your body as you tune into your need for control in relationships.
And as you're tuning into this,
Start to invite movement.
So how does your body organically and naturally want to respond to the way that you feel this need to control within your body?
For example,
If you felt an immediate tension in your shoulders,
How does your body organically want to respond to that?
Now your mind may interject and try to take over here.
Your mind might say,
Ah,
Well,
Let me just massage my shoulders or shake it out or roll them out.
But I want you to really listen to your body and really follow your body's lead.
Because while your mind wants to shake it out and make this tension go away,
Your body may be telling you something very different.
Your body might be saying,
We're not ready for that.
We're not ready to just shake out this control.
So what does your body really want to do?
There is no right or wrong,
And it may not even make sense where your body leads you.
It may not make sense to your mind.
Follow your body's lead and really listen and move in response to where your body's leading you.
So instead of shaking out your shoulders,
You may find that your body naturally leads you to actually hunch over your shoulders,
And then maybe something shifts from there.
It is normal when you have unresolved trauma to have this mind-body struggle where your mind wants to just let go of this control already,
But your body and nervous system are saying,
Hey,
This is what helps us feel safe.
This is what we have needed in order to survive,
In order to feel like we could survive.
So you can't just let it all go at once or force it away.
If you really listen to your body right now,
If you really follow your body's organic natural impulses,
You'll understand much more clearly and deeply how you need to let go of control.
What is your body telling you right now?
Do you need to slow down?
Do your movements need to stay closer to your body?
Do you need to find more solid ground and bring yourself from sitting to lying down?
These are just a few options out of many that might happen for you in this experience.
Keep following your body's natural impulses,
And remember,
There is no right or wrong.
If you find yourself judging or getting in your head,
Acknowledge that that's the part of you that is still trying to keep you safe,
And bring your focus back to your body,
And trust that your body will lead you in a way that is safe.
Your movements may be big or small or somewhere in between right now.
Your movements may be close to your body,
Far out into space.
They may be faster or slower.
Everyone's going to have a different experience doing this movement meditation because you are unique,
And the way that you've stored your trauma in your body is unique.
And so this way that you need to start letting go of control is going to be expressed uniquely within you and through you right now.
Keep following your body for another minute,
And then I will start prompting you to slow down and find an ending.
Whatever you're doing,
However you're moving right now,
Begin to slowly and gradually make your movements smaller and make your movements slower so that you eventually reach a satisfying natural ending to this movement.
You may find that you organically land into a pose that feels right for you right now.
Maybe you don't.
Let's take a deep breath in together and out.
Gently open your eyes,
Look around your space.
You may make physical contact with your body,
Letting yourself know that you are right here right now.
And just tune in and check in,
See how your body is feeling right now.
Were you able to let go of control,
Even just a little bit?
And if you were,
What helped you,
What way did you move to allow that to happen?
And if you didn't,
What do you think stopped you?
It's okay if you didn't have the exact experience that you wanted.
If you'd like specific feedback on your experience in this meditation,
You can join my Insight Timer Circle called Women Healing Trauma and I'll give you personalized feedback to help you understand what you need to do next to keep letting go of control.
Until next time,
You deserve to be able to let down your guard,
Let go of control,
And let love in.
