Today,
I would love to guide you through a movement-based meditation on how to move through your fear of intimacy.
Fear of intimacy often comes from unresolved trauma,
Where the nervous system and the body feel so scared to get close to somebody because it remembers the trauma of being abandoned,
Rejected,
And hurt in the past.
So in this movement-based meditation,
We'll connect to your body and gain deep clarity and insight about what needs to happen in order for you to release this fear and finally open up your heart to somebody that you are interested in or somebody you already love.
To begin,
We're going to take three deep breaths together.
Breathing in and breathing out.
And again,
Breathing in and breathing out.
One more time,
Breathing in and breathing out.
Allow your body to find a position that feels good to you right now,
Whether that's sitting up,
Lying down,
Or maybe even standing up.
And now close your eyes or lower your gaze and imagine or visualize that a love interest or your partner is standing across from you.
They're not too close,
But they're not too far.
See them standing across from you and imagine that they're slowly moving closer towards you,
Closer in your physical space,
Closer in your emotional space.
Imagine them moving closer to you.
And as this is happening,
I want you to tune into the first sensation that comes up in your body.
What do you feel in your body as this person gets closer to you,
As the space between you dissolves and there's more of a chance for intimacy?
That sensation comes up in your body.
Sense it and hold on to it.
Whatever that first sensation that came up,
Tune into that one.
There is no right or wrong.
And as you are feeling into the sensation right now,
Invite movement into your body.
Allow your body to respond with movement.
You might ask yourself,
How does my body want to move to this sensation?
So if you felt a constriction in your chest,
You might feel the natural urge to take a deep breath.
If you felt a desire to curl your body over,
Make yourself smaller,
You may follow that with movement that makes your body smaller,
That makes you want to hide.
Allow your body to lead.
Even if your mind has ideas of what you should or shouldn't do,
Let your body respond organically with movement.
It may have started with a response to breathe deeper,
Or making your body smaller,
Or something else that came to you.
And now continue moving.
Continue bringing in whatever movements come to you.
It could be the same exact movements that you're repeating over and over again,
Where it may evolve into something else.
The movements that you do don't matter.
It's that you're responding moment to moment to your feelings with what your body feels is natural to respond to.
Because when you do that,
You're moving with your fear of intimacy,
Instead of pushing it away,
Or trying to push it down,
Or ignore it.
And when you move with your fear of intimacy,
You allow yourself to be with it,
To work through whatever that feels in your body,
And respond to it by giving yourself attention and nurturing and care.
Through whatever sensations come up,
And you imagine becoming intimate.
When we ignore our fear of intimacy,
It doesn't just go away.
When we try to convince ourselves that we feel safe to become intimate,
To be in love,
To open up our hearts,
And yet our bodies still feel closed off,
The body will remain closed off,
And will close down even further.
So moving with your intimacy right now is showing yourself that you can see yourself through this.
And that's the first step to truly releasing your fear of intimacy.
Moving with it,
Moving with it,
Allowing yourself to feel it.
And maybe even during this movement meditation,
You've gained some clarity through whatever movements you're doing right now.
What's been your experience in moving your body through your fear of intimacy?
Have you allowed yourself to slowly open up?
Have you made yourself small and held yourself this entire time?
Have you maybe just gently caressed yourself,
Connected with yourself?
Any of these situations,
Any of these examples and beyond can really tell us what we need.
If we closed off further,
Then we know we're not ready yet to open up.
If we started connecting more with ourselves,
Then we know we need to build a stronger connection with ourselves before feeling comfortable connecting deeper with anyone else.
And perhaps if you started opening up,
Then your body has let you know that as long as you see yourself and be with yourself,
Instead of pushing away the very real feelings that you have,
The more you'll feel comfortable opening up.
So as you're moving right now,
Can you sense what your body is telling you about releasing your fear of intimacy?
What do you need to do?
How do you need to treat yourself?
How do you need to be there for yourself?
Let your body answer that for you right now in this movement.
Now whatever you're doing,
However you're moving,
I'm going to ask you to start bringing this to a gradual close.
Even if it feels unfinished,
We need to make sure we have closure for this intimate experience with yourself.
Slowly,
Gradually make your movements smaller and slower.
And see if you can naturally find yourself in an ending pose that feels right to you right now.
There's no right or wrong.
You could hold yourself,
You could stand up tall with your arms in the air.
You could simply end in a lying down position,
Surrendering your weight to the floor,
Or the bed,
Or wherever you are.
Once you've found your position,
Take a deep breath in and out.
Sense how you're feeling in this moment.
Tune into the sensations in your body right now.
And open your eyes.
Look around the space.
And take another deep breath.
You are welcome to come back to this meditation as many times as you need.
Every time we do this practice,
We understand more,
We gain more clarity from our bodies letting us know what we need to do to release the fear of intimacy.
Until next time,
You deserve to be able to let healthy,
Lasting love in.
