Here Comes The Feminine Shining Her Light!

And again,

We're calling on Amma,

On the Creator,

To give us her grace,

To fill our bodies and minds and our hearts with her grace.

So we open up to this knowledge,

To this knowledge of love like flowers.

We just turn toward the sun of our souls,

Of Amma's energy,

Of the Creator's energy,

And we just open in total acceptance of ourselves and of life.

And so it is.

And I know what a tall order that is,

Prama Sutta really knows.

So you know,

Usually on Satsang mornings,

I get up quite early.

So it was actually five this morning.

And Prama Sutta starts cooking,

I'm thinking of,

You know,

What to say,

I make a few notes and then inevitably,

Well,

Just before the Satsang,

So around eight,

I get actually the download of what the Satsang is to be about.

Right.

So it's just sort of an interesting process.

It's sort of I feel like the farmer,

I'm digging,

I'm digging,

I'm working hard,

But it's like the work is done by the sun,

Really,

And by the water.

So this download around eight o'clock that happens is the Creator.

And most of,

You know,

Prama Sutta's work is just making room for the Creator.

Actually,

That's really all of our work for our lives.

So,

One of the things,

I want to shine a light on our situation,

Which will help you understand yourselves.

This is Prama Sutta's hope,

And also give you more permission just to be yourself and to understand where some of the inner criticism is coming from.

You guys,

We're in a patriarchy.

We've been in a patriarchy for centuries.

And it's wonderful.

Guys,

You're wonderful.

But you know,

Amma talks about that a bird needs two wings to fly.

We need a functioning masculine and a functioning feminine.

And right now,

Because of this overhang,

The patriarchy,

It cuts at the roots of the feminine.

So if we're in—this hurts everybody—but if we're in female form,

It has a tendency to make us disallow ourselves.

And even mothering,

It distorts our mothering.

Now,

Real feminine energy,

And this is what I really hope to transmit to you today.

You'll know this if you have a good mother,

Or if you're a guy,

If you have a good mother and a wife.

The woman will give you space to feel your feelings,

To begin to get in touch with how you really feel.

Just by her presence,

And just that she's being there in kind of a waiting way,

Just taking her cues from what you need.

And if you had such a mother,

Or you have such a partner—and men can do this for women too,

And they do do this for women—but it is a feminine quality to give you space where you can feel into the truth of you,

To feel feelings that you might have been pushing down to be—actually,

You know,

Premasut is feeling this so strongly right now.

It's about your intelligence.

Oh,

Okay,

Here we go.

Your soul is genius,

Beyond genius.

And to access this genius level,

You have to give space to feel.

You have to give yourself space to be.

I'm feeling in all of you,

This soul intelligence that's been pushed down because everybody's like too busy or focused on the outcome that they're wanting from their action,

You know,

The goals,

Their to-do list.

There's this really strong intelligence that's wanting to come up with you in you.

And if you guys just realize that this is a really magical time right now,

Like as I've explained,

This 100 years,

Particularly 1950 to 2050,

Was intended to give the human beings time to make this evolutionary shift,

And it was intended to be a time of peace,

To give us space.

Yeah,

I just,

You guys,

Please love this intelligence within you.

You know,

I notice when I look at my videos afterwards,

I'm always touching my third eye,

Because all this is coming in so strongly through the third eye.

Please take care of your intelligence.

That's what you see in Prama Sutta.

This is what I did.

I took care of this intelligence within me.

I made room for it.

Even though it seemed maybe unproductive at times.

Yes.

I'm seeing it as like what it wants.

It's almost like,

Almost like a geyser in a way.

Okay,

You guys,

I want you to understand that the reason we're in trouble,

The reason you're not living this more,

Is because we're taught to push it all down,

Because it doesn't fit in with how to pay your mortgage,

Maybe.

Or it doesn't make sense to say,

Wow,

You're really tired for three days,

So you just kind of resist it and repress it and soldier on using your will,

Instead of,

You know,

Maybe coming home after work and going to bed,

Like make room for your feeling,

For your condition.

Like,

I can feel that this intelligence in you,

This is why you're drawn to this work,

Because Prama Sutta made so much room for this intelligence,

And I didn't even know what I was doing,

Really.

I just did it instinctively.

And if you're with,

You know,

If you're coming to awareness satsang,

You're wanting this in you.

You know,

If you understand that most of your conditioning is coming from a running away from the feminine energy,

Or even a revulsion to her,

Truly,

I'm not overstating it,

You guys,

You can self-correct,

Gently,

Or just go,

Okay,

This is how I've been conditioned,

This is how the culture is,

But I,

As an individual,

Can change my ways,

I can change how I am with myself.

You know,

This can make us feel snaky.

You know,

We might want to feel run out of the room.

I was working with someone in Germany,

And I was,

You know,

Pressing the point,

Getting very close to his bone,

Very close to his wounding,

And he said to me,

Well,

I'm conflicted between wanting to run out of the room,

And then,

But the other part,

I want to get through this.

So that's exactly it.

Both things.

Right,

Okay.

I remember seeing a personality test.

This is some years ago,

But it probably wouldn't be too different now.

And the way it was,

It was just skewed to the masculine.

So you were really healthy if you were going along in a masculine way,

And if you were living out more of the feminine values,

You were like,

You know,

This was considered not so healthy.

It's like,

Okay,

There it is.

But you see,

I want you to see,

Like,

Here's Premasuddha.

It's like,

Premasuddha made so much room for her feminine.

This is why you're drawn here.

I just want to,

Like,

Really emphasize this.

The feminine will bring you back to center,

And it will bring you back to the ground.

And from that,

From being brought to center and back down to the ground,

You can live a powerful life.

If you're off the ground,

Like so many of us are,

Ungrounded,

You will not have much power at all.

You'll be floating with your feet off the ground.

And the thing is,

And this happened to Premasuddha a lot,

I would get so ungrounded.

And it dawned on me that when I was ungrounded,

It was because Premasuddha was frightened of her thoughts and feelings.

Premasuddha was frightened of the truth of herself.

So it just seems safer to be ungrounded.

So what I'm saying to you guys,

If you find yourself ungrounded,

You can say,

Okay,

Please,

Amma,

Please,

Creator,

Bring me down to the ground gently.

And I'll tell you if that will happen.

If you're sincere in wishing it,

It is what will happen.

Some of you are scared to find out about the truth of you,

And I get it.

Premasuddha was terrified herself.

But the truth of us is so much better than any illusion,

You know.

Premasuddha really wants to give you space to feel your feelings and emotions,

Make room for any emotion that's wanting to come up.

It's very safe to feel your emotions.

Because if you don't feel your emotions,

You won't have real power.

You can have a false ego power.

But if you don't make room for your emotions,

You won't know about truth.

Some of you have put your foot on the brake around letting this intelligence into you.

It's like you like the idea of it,

But part of you is just scared.

Just scared of not being in control.

What would this intelligence bring?

Maybe it would cause havoc.

You know,

You would just feel really at home in your lives.

Because you would be living out the Creator's energy,

Amma's energy,

Here in your physical form.

That is the whole point of why we're here,

You guys.

It's funny,

I can feel many of you running away from Premasuddha right now.

And this isn't bad.

This is the cost of us growing up in a patriarchy and being so disrespectful to our intuition and the emotional realm.

The only place,

Really,

That we freely embrace emotions and intuitions is in our marketing,

Which is used for manipulation.

In our culture,

You can do that.

You can use emotion and intuition to market,

To manipulate,

To sell.

Premasuddha,

In my 20s,

I used to feel like I would make a very good copywriter,

But I couldn't do it because it just seemed so meaningless.

The idea of promoting various products.

You know,

What's a deathbed going to be like with a life like that?

But you guys,

Please open your eyes to see what's going on in our culture.

We use emotions and intuition.

We use this data to manipulate.

It is a radical act to allow your full self,

To allow your emotions and intuitions and give them equal place as anything else in your life.

As,

I don't know,

Your intellectual point of view,

Or earning a living.

You see,

It's because we're like this,

This is why Mother Nature is screaming.

It's why we're so out of touch with her.

We don't,

And even our solutions to help her,

Show how numbed out we are,

Often.

Really,

Because Premasuddha feels if we just prayed,

You know,

If the whole world prayed,

Mother Nature would settle down.

I'm feeling many of you kind of going into not being present.

You're not being present with me as I'm speaking this way.

There's no blame,

There's no criticism,

But just notice.

Notice if you're getting distracted.

You know,

The point of this is,

Premasuddha was hoping that by the end of this hour,

That some of you,

If not all of you,

Would be more present with yourselves.

And have a sense that it was okay to be with your intuitions and emotions.

Because if we don't feel it's okay to be with this material,

Do you know what we're going to do?

We will spend our energy blaming and judging others.

It's really that simple.

It's like,

Which do you want to do?

Because you're going to do one of them.

You either do the harder work of,

You know,

Being present with yourself.

Like yesterday in the question and answer satsang,

A wonderful woman was talking about that in the absence of the satsangs while I was in Germany,

She decided to stay more present with her experience.

So,

She was noticing that when she spoke to someone,

She was aware of her inner experience as well as being with the person.

And she felt kind of guilty about it,

That she wasn't giving the person her full energy.

And you see,

When we turn inward,

We can feel guilty.

Because it's not the norm in our culture,

Where we're really outward focused.

So,

When you start to pay attention to your inner climate,

You can feel that you're doing something taboo.

But I really want to restate this,

You guys.

Because we all try to be good.

We want to be good spiritual students.

But I'll tell you,

You either make room and start allowing your inner material,

How you really feel,

Paying attention to your emotions and your intuitions.

Or you will just judge yourself and others.

I mean,

And this is what's happening.

There's this geyser of judgment coming through the social media.

I mean,

People are just rolling in it.

Because everybody's scared to actually just be themselves,

Receive the truth of how they feel,

Just be with it.

You know,

If you,

Through your relationship with premasuddha,

Make more room to allow your true self,

Premasuddha is just overjoyed.

Sometimes we don't even know how we feel until,

Like,

We're in the presence of someone who's loving,

And then we just sink into ourselves.

Right.

Okay,

Good.

Okay,

Good.

There's been a big shift in the group.

There's more willingness to be centered in who you are.

It's like you're,

You know,

All the reasons to run away got checkmated just by the truth of things.

I mean,

Really,

Once you understand that,

You either put your arms around yourself in a really warm,

Authentic way and be with the truth of your feelings,

Or other people will upset you,

Press your buttons,

And you will judge them and yourself.

And who needs that,

Eh?

So,

If you are upset by other people,

Put your arms around that and embrace that,

And just be with that,

Knowing that it's not really them,

That you're just scared,

You're running from parts of yourself that you've left behind.

Yeah.

Some of you,

You know,

You can hear Premasuddha,

But some of you,

You're very dear,

And this isn't criticism,

But some of you want Premasuddha's attention,

But you don't,

You want Premasuddha's attention because you want your goals to come true.

So,

You think that if you've got a relationship with Premasuddha,

Your goals can come true,

But Premasuddha is saying to you,

Open the door to this material and embrace it,

And your goals will come true.

In fact,

Most of them will dissolve,

If you live like this,

Most of your wants will dissolve,

And the ones that the universe wants you to receive will just come seamlessly.

You know,

Guys,

There's a certain emotional,

When a guy gets emotionally disturbed or bothered,

There is a point in his physiology where he will get a cut off,

And he has to take some action.

And it makes sense,

You know,

If a saber-toothed tiger is,

You know,

Attacking your family,

You do something.

For women,

We don't have that.

Premasuddha can endlessly stay with herself.

Well,

I'm pretty peaceful now,

But in the old days,

I would endlessly just stay with however I was feeling,

Even if I was really distressed.

I would just be with it,

Be with it,

Be with it,

And then finally it would shift into,

I would feel all the emotions until there was nothing left,

And I would get a bulletin from my soul.

You guys,

Soul information is wrapped up in our angers,

And our hatreds,

And our fears.

And if you just allow yourself to be with them,

Feel them,

The emotions release out,

And you will get a soul retrieval,

A transmission from your soul.

This is what Premasuddha speaks from.

Premasuddha was a ball of,

Like,

Rage,

And fear,

And hatred.

I felt it all out,

And then,

You know,

You discover the light,

You know.

I'm giving you a lot of information very quickly,

You know,

It's my way.

Even if you feel hollow and empty,

If you just put your arms around that,

Your hollowness and emptiness,

What will happen is your true energy will start percolating in,

Like a spring,

A mountain spring.

It'll just start coming in,

And it will fill you up,

And the emptiness and hollowness will be gone,

Over and over again,

You guys.

You know,

You have to know the climate we're in.

We're in an anti-life climate of great alienation.

And that's why it's so hard,

And that's why it feels taboo,

To recover your true nature.

But you can just live it,

You just turn and live it.

It's just like Premasuddha,

You put your arms around yourself,

You decide you don't have anything to lose,

You might as well just be true to yourself.

You all just have to face it in another life,

If you don't.

Many of you come to Premasuddha with sort of secret agendas,

And Premasuddha,

There's no judgment,

Believe me,

Premasuddha did this too.

You know,

Secret agendas to just be happier while still keeping the same games going,

It won't work.

And you will see this,

As time goes on,

You just see that it's not going to work.

You know,

Who you really are is eternal,

And all-powerful,

All-knowledgeable,

And this soul in you dreamed you up,

Our souls have dreamed us up,

Our inner Amma has dreamed us up.

To go through the experiences we do,

To learn.

You know,

What Premasuddha is,

It's so real,

Like sometimes in the middle of the night I get grabbed by my soul,

Really.

And there's a huge realignment that goes on,

And all the cells of my body are,

They come into communion with my soul,

With my inner Amma,

And I get realigned into truth.

Now,

Premasuddha is really aware of these things because,

For the reasons that I'm teaching you,

For exactly what I'm teaching you,

Because Premasuddha did not run from her emotions and intuitions.

And finally,

If you just keep going,

What happens is great trust arises,

And you start experiencing,

You know,

You feel the angels working with you,

Because you're so in touch with your intuition,

And you feel the prayers of people on your behalf.

And you feel your soul guidance because it's,

Because you're paying attention,

Because you've trained yourself to pay attention.

So you get it.

You sacrifice some of your goals to stay present and listen,

And then you get all the goals that you really wanted,

There's no loss.

But some of you,

I have to say,

Like some of you come alongside me,

Premasuddha,

To get what you want,

And you,

Some of you tend to refuse to actually learn to pay attention to what I'm saying.

And when I raise this with you,

You say like,

Well,

You're wrong,

Or whatever,

And I'm like,

Okay,

Not very helpful.

You have to think,

If you've got a teacher,

You know,

You've got to think,

If you say,

You know,

To the teacher,

If she's making a mistake,

The teacher will just back off.

And often,

In situations like this,

The person's scared of feeling how hollow and empty and alone they feel.

But I'll tell you,

If you're with those feelings,

If you dare to feel how alone,

Abandoned,

Separate you,

You know,

Are experiencing,

You dare to feel that,

You will connect up with your truth.

I mean,

You'll do it if you turn to the Creator,

You'll connect up with truth.

If you hold on to it,

You'll just go into a nihilistic,

Life is meaningless,

And horrible kind of point of view.

Keep turning to the Creator.

Okay,

Good.

Many of you are feeling you can do this.

You do this,

And you can do this.

I'll tell you,

The more deeply,

The more passion you take this turning to the Creator,

The bigger an engine you create that allows the Creator to help you.

The more desperate you are,

The more Amma comes running,

The more the Creator will come running.

You are loved,

You guys,

This is the thing you're not getting.

You're just so adored by the Creator.

And we would feel it more if we were better friends with the feminine energy.

That's all Prama Sutta is saying.

That without feminine energy,

Life gets meaningless and violent.

And the feminine returns us to center,

Comes down to the ground,

And turns our focus to meaning.

This focus on meaning,

Save Prama Sutta,

I could put up with a lot if I saw the meaning.

It made it doable for me.

It's just like for any parent,

You know,

You get really exhausted and fed up sometimes,

But the greater meaning of raising the kids,

Of loving the kids,

Of helping them become,

You know,

Happy adults,

That greater meaning to your life keeps you going and helps reduce the irritations.

So think of the bigger meaning.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And any of you who are engaged with helping people,

That's a beautiful,

Beautiful field to fertilize and plant seeds and you can create a tremendous harvest.

Because it all comes back to you,

Everything.

A smile to a homeless person,

Any kindness,

Any prayer.

It comes back to you and that makes it much easier to evolve,

You know.

You know,

Even if you feel like how cut off you are from your emotions,

That's good.

Don't fight it.

If you feel that,

Fantastic.

If you feel how hard it is for you to cry,

Good noticing.

Somebody was telling me,

You know,

That when they were younger,

Somebody would say,

Oh,

So-and-so died and they had always laughed and they felt so bad about being so alienated.

But Prima Sutta was the same way when I was younger.

Really,

I would just,

I mean,

I couldn't help but laughing.

I'd laugh when I'd hear some terrible thing.

And it was just,

I was out of touch with my emotions and I'd feel put on the spot,

Like I had to,

Like,

Do something.

You know,

React in an appropriate way and then I just was so out of touch with my feelings,

I couldn't.

So,

I'd just laugh and then I'd apologize for laughing.

You know,

Another way to talk about this is,

You know,

The inner child.

So,

Make friends with your inner child.

I'm wanting you guys to get it philosophically,

To get it,

To get the overview that we're in this climate where it's very disrespectful to the feminine polarity of human experience.

And it's crippling us.

But we can overcome it.

It's like Prima Sutta overcame this.

I went,

Well,

I'm just going to feel.

I'm going to feel my feelings.

You know,

Again,

People come to me because they want spiritual progress and I'll say,

Okay,

Keep a journal.

And they go,

I don't want to,

Or I can't.

And I'm like,

Okay.

I empathize,

But if you,

You know,

Journal for half an hour every day,

That gives you time to feel and follow the threads of your existence.

I hope you take this to heart,

You know,

In a gentle way and let it change you.

Not in a try to fix you.

I'm actually just trying to open the door to your heart,

To your true nature.

Because we dismiss emotions so much,

We're run by them and we're held hostage by them.

And it's hard for us to get out of our egos.

Because we judge ourselves so much.

I promise you,

If you just feel your emotions and feelings and just make room for them,

They will bring you to your soul.

If we were better friends with our emotions,

We'd know that,

You know,

Just as snakes lose their skin,

There are periods where we're outgrowing the old way.

And we'll usually become very unhappy and feel constricted,

Just like a snake outgrowing an old skin.

And we might judge this and feel like we're doing something wrong,

But if we,

Again,

Had more of the feminine,

It'd be with the recognition.

This just might happen in a lifetime,

Over and over and over,

Many times.

We wouldn't make it wrong.

And if somebody near us was going through this,

We wouldn't judge them.

We'd go,

Oh,

They're just losing a skin.

We'd celebrate it,

Give them room.

We'd forgive if they were bad-tempered.

We'd just go,

Oh,

Okay,

You're just outgrowing your old self.

This is the sadness,

You see,

You guys.

This is Premasuddha's really,

I feel really sad about this.

We make it so difficult for ourselves to evolve,

Just because we negate our emotional natures.

And they're a big mystery to people.

And it's very,

Very simple how it works.

Just like that about outgrowing ourselves.

Several of you are in this right now.

You're outgrowing your old skins like a snake,

You know.

It can feel like the world's coming to an end,

But it's not.

It's okay.

Premasuddha's been through that countless times.

Yeah.

There's a beginning of bigness.

See,

When you get what I'm talking about,

You start becoming a really big person.

Internally.

Because you start accessing the energy of ancient humankind.

You're more present.

You're less likely to run after sparkly baubles.

And you start having a real love for yourself,

And a real love for humanity as a byproduct.

I mean,

This is where Premasuddha's love for humans comes from,

Because Premasuddha loves her own humanity,

You know.

It was a dirty job,

But somebody had to do it.

It was very hard for Premasuddha.

Don't think it was easy,

You guys.

It's the hardest thing to come into self-love and go against your culture.

Pick up the emotional things and start respecting your emotional and intuitive nature.

Some of you are very good at this.

And so this is just supporting you.

Yeah.

Remember the energy of.

.

.

You know,

The Creator's energy is coming to us all the time.

Grace is coming to us all the time.

You know,

Just imagining yourself receiving it.

This again is the way of the feminine,

You know.

Premasuddha.

.

.

A lot of my journey was just using my imagination and dreaming this current state,

A peace where Premasuddha lives,

Dreaming it into reality.

The thing that gives a teacher energy is the desire to help.

And,

You know,

Through a real teacher,

It comes from the Creator.

So,

It doesn't stop.

I mean,

It just is constant.

It's a constant.

Anybody who's spent any time around Amma knows that her love for us is just like 100%.

It's in everything she does.

Everything she does is totally devoted to,

You know,

Humanity and all of life.

And these people come to show us,

To prove to us how loving the Creator is.

And when we meet them,

We get this experience of the Creator coming through them.

Otherwise,

How would we know the Creator really existed,

You know?

Really,

Without people who embody it,

How would we know?

And then half the time,

You know,

We're.

.

.

Well,

We're treating them badly,

Like historically.

Crucifixion,

Etc.

But still,

The Creator just.

.

.

Oh,

You know.

.

.

The Creator's love for us is like a million times beyond,

I mean,

What our love for our children is.

It's sort of unspeakable because we can't get a handle on it in our heads,

But you can experience it,

You guys.

You can experience the love of the Creator coming through another person or coming in through you.

And then your life gets solved and it all makes sense.

And if it isn't making sense today,

It will make sense tomorrow or the day after.

But I just want to say again,

Our culture teaches us to try to get something through other people.

And the biggest obstacle to getting knowledge from Prama Sutta is to try to get it from Prama Sutta to suit your agenda about your life,

Your ego's agenda about your life,

And you'll just get frustrated.

But if you open,

Maybe Prama Sutta can help you make better friends with yourself.

So you can feel and experience the life you came to live.

And remember,

It isn't always a picnic.

Sometimes we're really on track and we're having trouble.

We might feel not great,

But we're still on track.

It's like we get the,

You know,

The sun is always shining,

But sometimes there's cloud cover,

You guys.

Sometimes we don't feel good,

But we're on track and our soul is just behind.

However we're feeling,

You know,

It's like cloud cover.

You might as well enjoy the clouds.

My son,

One of my sons loves rainy days.

I'm like,

Wow,

Good for him.

You know what,

He's a happy camper in Vancouver because there's so many.

Many of the communications coming through us are very,

Very subtle,

You guys,

And you could almost miss them or think you were making it up.

You know,

For the rest of the day,

You surround yourselves in love.

You give yourself a holiday from the inner chatter that you might feel,

The inner negativity,

The kind of correction,

Self-correction,

Endless self-correction we do.

Endless judging we do.

You might give yourself a holiday for the rest of the day.

Please,

Yeah.

I mean,

For Vancouver people,

We're just at the beginning of the day.

And it's sunny outside,

So what's not to love,

You know?

But please,

And you know,

Maybe give yourselves holidays.

If you notice that you're really running it,

Just give yourself a holiday every so often from it.

Just go,

I want to take a holiday.

Yeah,

Because it's just your ego.

It's actually disowned power.

You see,

Okay,

Please get this concept.

The more you disown your true nature,

The more you will live under the overhang of the ego telling you how horrible you are and how you're making such a mess of things.

The energy has to go somewhere,

You see?

So,

If it doesn't go into love and freedom,

It will go into self-judgment,

Judging others.

Right,

So it's worth the battles,

You guys.

Premasid is Virgo,

So I always felt like if I didn't do this work,

I was just going to end up as a really horrible old person,

Really.

I knew it.

I could feel it.

That helped give me strength through this work.

I didn't want to get any more critical than I already was.

And now Premasid just looks at you all and just sees God wanting to be born into the human life,

Into your human life,

Really.

Yeah,

And Premasid is warm and soft with you if I feel you're on track,

And if I feel you're on your ego,

I'll be like a little tougher.

Oh,

You're so dear.

Blessings.

This work has a lot in common with Zen,

You know?

Zen is very simple and without much intellectual material.

It's just the simplicity of living from the heart.

I really want to give you a big,

Big hug,

Energetically.

Some of you are.

.

.

You know,

As soon as I speak,

Some of you,

Like any of us,

We feel like,

Oh,

We're doing it wrong.

We don't get it right.

We should know more.

We should be more surrendered.

We should be listening to our emotions more.

We should be trusting our intuitions.

And it's like,

Don't do that.

Just,

Please,

Just hearing this.

Just hearing this.

You're so dear.

You're already on track.

It's okay.

All is well.

I just want to give you some overviews and help your understanding.

Give you some things to think about.

Give yourself the understanding so that you can feel the permission to feel your emotions and intuitions more.

Yeah,

Good.

Okay,

Good.

That's all I'm wanting with this.

Right.

Many of us battle.

We fight with others and create these little dramas.

But when you're working with yourself,

Even these battles can be,

You know,

If you stay present with them and ask for the highest good to be the outcome,

These battles with other people can bring us into more self-knowledge.

It's not like it's bad,

You know.

You just don't want to spend your whole life fighting with people.

That's all,

You know.

Yeah.

Does anybody have any questions or comments?

Does anybody feel better or feel worse?

Is anybody really confused?

You're heroes,

You guys.

You're heroes for turning up.

You're heroes for doing this.

I feel like as a teacher,

I got the shy class.

The shy class of really sort of sensitive Grade 1-ers.

Not that you're Grade 1 on the journey,

But you know what I mean.

Sometimes we don't want to speak because we're scared of showing how much we don't understand.

But you guys,

None of us understand that much.

Thank you.

I feel like a fish out of water.

And I don't feel trapped.

And I just need some guidance.

Yeah.

Okay,

So I just want to say something.

Everybody,

Laura has an illness and she's moved back home to her family.

And she needs energetic love and support from you guys.

If you can just send her love to help her make this transition.

Yeah.

I miss my room full of Alma pictures.

Because I felt her with me all the time.

Yeah.

Maybe you have to keep Alma on the inside more.

Do you know?

Move into having her on the inside.

I feel like I'm smothered.

I don't have the space to do that or give myself the space to do that.

There's constant around me.

And yeah.

Right.

Yeah,

I can feel it.

This was your fear about what it would be like,

Right,

Laura?

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

So.

You guys,

This is how our fears can come true.

Now we have a fear of something and then,

You know,

It comes true.

It's like worries or negative prayers,

You know,

They really are.

I mean,

We're all going to worry sometime,

But just.

So,

Laura,

Why do you think Alma,

The creator,

Has put you in this situation?

Well,

The grace of it is I have.

Compassion from my mom that I never felt before.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

That's huge.

It is huge.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

A couple of things.

If we can have compassion for our mothers,

That is a huge achievement,

You guys,

Because the bond with the mother is really primal.

So,

If you can shift into compassion for her,

You can then feel compassion for yourself at a very deep level.

Okay,

Laura.

Laura,

I can feel this,

You know,

The pressure of it all.

And I just say,

Like,

It's,

You know,

It's to bring you to stop fighting and to surrender.

And that's easy for Premasuddhas to say.

And you're doing it.

I'm not fighting.

No,

No,

I know.

I know.

I'm not.

But I'm constantly beating myself up for not being the way I think they want me to be or doing what I think they want me to do.

Because I'm exhausted.

Physically,

And I've only been here a week.

But I have so many more limitations than I did last time I was here.

Oh.

Physical limitations?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Sweetie,

Yeah,

You know,

You know,

Sometimes the challenges we get are just off the charts,

You know.

Yeah,

My heart goes out to you,

Sweetie.

I have heard,

God doesn't give us more than we can handle.

That's the thing.

And,

You know,

When your soul set up an obstacle to sort of crack through the ego of lifetimes,

You know,

To free your spirit this life,

You know,

It's all for a good reason.

But when we're going through it all,

It's like,

Oh my goodness.

I just wanted to crack open,

But you keep saying it's going to,

It has to allow,

We have to allow it.

Okay.

The allowing,

The allowing is the process of cracking it open.

It's not like the male way of just taking a hammer to a coconut.

No,

Really,

This is exactly what I'm talking about.

It's by endlessly just allowing all these feelings,

Giving them to Ama,

Crying when you need to,

Just doing your best that will get you where you need to go.

Okay.

But Laura,

Like,

Realistically,

Sweetie pie,

Like,

You're the one who's going through it.

You know,

So,

You know,

When we go through things,

It's like,

It's so choreographed for us in its excruciating quality that we can,

It can make us feel very alone,

But you're not.

It's like when Premasutra was in the middle of her mess in my mid-30s,

I just,

It went on and on and on.

It went on for five years.

I just felt so,

So alone.

And then it was over.

And I started tapping into the soul,

But nobody,

I felt nobody really understood what I was going through.

Right.

It's like we,

These things are just tailor-made to,

Like,

Push our buttons to the nth degree so that we clear the garbage of lifetimes and move into truth.

Sweetie,

You have walked this so well.

Yeah,

Yeah,

My hat off,

Truly.

And look at Jenna.

She's like,

People here,

Like,

It is an impossibly difficult challenge you've got,

But you're doing it with grace.

Think of that.

You're doing it with grace.

Think of the people in concentration camps who held out for their humanity.

Imagine what their pain was like.

You know,

This is what God does.

This is the Creator's,

The Creator,

You know,

This is our training.

And you and the Alma,

They don't stop,

Just keep going.

Just keep going.

And you've come a very long way,

The fact that you have compassion for your mom.

Like,

I'm gobsmacked,

Like,

Sweetie.

Yeah,

I was too.

I was like,

Where did that come from?

Well,

That's it.

Like,

That's a huge spiritual achievement.

You see,

When it's us,

We don't realize it.

We go,

Oh,

You know,

Meh.

But that's,

Like,

Incredible,

Sweetie.

That's,

Like,

Real movement into self-realization.

When you get that,

You are so deeply on track.

And if the discomfiture of your days keeps you thinking about Alma,

That's the point,

Right?

Yeah.

Thank you.

Oh,

Sweetie,

There's huge love for you coming from God.

There's huge love coming from the satsang.

I really feel it.

And I feel that you're,

You know,

That you're getting it.

You're getting it.

Yeah.

The cells of your body are getting it,

Sweetie.

Yeah.

I hope so.

I keep listening to your satsang over and over.

Good.

Listen,

I want to tell you that.

I want to tell you that.

That's the way you're living your life,

Truly.

It's all Alma's grace.

That's it.

We're Alma,

You know,

We're made out of the creator.

You're part of the creator,

Sweetie.

You,

Laura.

Yeah.

Right.

And I want to thank you because it touches my heart.

And I think it's really,

Really very brave that you allow these feelings.

Probably very difficult feelings.

And it's so inspiring how you're not hiding away from them and that you're speaking about them and asking for help.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Yeah.

I'm grateful for you all because I didn't feel until today.

Ah,

Sweetie pie.

Yeah.

Sweet.

Thank you,

Laura.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well,

You guys,

It's a quarter to 10.

Yeah.

So thank you all.

Prama Sutta feels your sincerity.

Yeah.

Good hearts in you.

The creator's in you.

Yeah.

Prama Sutta feels like,

Prama Sutta sees the creator in you.

You have no idea how wonderful you are.

Just keep going,

Please.

Yeah.

Okay.

Bye.