Understanding And Accepting The Phases Of Struggle

Beautiful.

Hello everyone,

This is Rosa and welcome to the Rise Mind Body podcast.

And today I actually wanted to discuss just a reflection I went through this morning based off the common questions I get asked a lot.

And I thought to share maybe this idea that could possibly help answer a lot of those questions or help to bring some clarity.

And so really the idea was about every day everyone is going through some sort of struggle,

Whether it's just a struggle that's a moment to moment struggle or whether it's something that we've been struggling with for quite some time.

But just overall,

Just struggle,

Overcoming struggle and how to get through any form of struggle in life.

And so what I came up with was the idea that there are different phases in the struggle.

And so if we can just recognize the phase that we're in and just accept and appreciate the process,

Then it allows us to experience the struggle in a different way.

So the first thing was,

I was writing it down,

I was thinking,

Okay,

What are the different phases?

And so the first phase is you're in the phase where you're in it and it's just like,

Get out of the way,

There's really nothing that we are open to hearing and we're just probably experiencing a lot of grief,

Hatred,

Self-sabotage,

Self-doubt,

Defeat,

Fear,

Resentment,

Hopelessness,

Just really at our low point.

And maybe not quite at a rock bottom yet,

But just definitely feeling like we're going on a downward spiral.

So that experience in itself is a phase.

And this phase and any phase,

We could be in these phases for days,

For weeks,

For months,

For years,

And sometimes even lifetimes.

And so it's just about recognizing that this is a phase that we go through.

And at that point,

It's really just about only just being accepted and not being told what to do.

And so that's just the first phase.

The second phase of struggle is the point where we realize that we're just sick and tired of the struggle.

So we're able to acknowledge the fact that there is a need for change.

We're no longer comfortable in our discomfort and we recognize that there's something that we need to do.

There's something that we need to do about it.

And we can no longer live feeling powerless,

That we can't do anything about our situation.

And maybe we don't quite know how we're going to fix it,

But it gets to a point where something needs to change.

And so this could look differently and can go down in so many ways.

So for one,

What it could look like is simply just asking someone for help.

So when we actually can acknowledge the fact that we can't do this anymore and something needs to happen,

It's just about asking someone for help.

And asking someone that you trust and believe will actually be able to help you.

And so sometimes at first,

It's about acknowledging the fact that we're not going to be able to do it on our own and we may need some external,

Some need to rely on an external source at first just to kind of guide us along the way.

Another way that it could look is maybe just simply changing the way we are with ourselves and just being kinder to ourselves and kinder towards ourselves and the situations and other people around us.

And just simply allowing ourselves to come from more of a place of kindness.

That in itself can shift how we feel inside and just be part of a second phase of coming out of that place of hatred and self-sabotage.

And other ways it can look is just simply motivating ourselves.

So finally getting to the point where we're just talking to ourselves and just saying,

Come on,

What I would say is like,

Hey,

Rosa,

You can do this.

This is temporary.

You're becoming better for it.

And just talking to yourself in a positive way to inspire you to move forward and to believe in yourself.

Another way that it could look is maybe not getting defensive and recognizing a trigger within us,

Especially from the people that we love and trust when they say something to us.

Or simply just listening to things that cross our paths,

Maybe even this podcast in itself.

You're listening to this podcast and you're allowing yourself to shift to a curious mindset instead of maybe allowing yourself to get triggered and thinking,

Hmm.

So that simply creates just shifting our mindset and allowing ourselves to be open.

When we look ahead in our lives,

It's not just about we're destined for doomed,

But being open to the possibility of a different outcome that maybe is something else other than just doom.

And so that openness allows us to shift into a second phase.

And then there's a third phase.

Once we open ourselves,

There's a third phase where we start to just grow to love ourselves just simply for the fact that we're taking responsibility for our lives and we're giving ourselves permission to be open to receiving.

And so naturally the process of self-love,

That's just the product.

We start to really love ourselves for it.

So we may not necessarily be there yet or be in a better place yet necessarily,

But we simply just feel better because how we're reacting to a situation is a way that supports ourselves and supports us in being who we need to be.

And so that self-love actually grows naturally.

And as we stay in that phase for a while and we start to ask for help and be open to receiving help and start educating ourselves and listening to podcasts or reading books,

And as we start to step into it and start to be open to a new outcome and we start to love ourselves for it,

It's not an easy journey.

What ends up happening eventually as we start to become more self-aware,

There are things that come up that we may not like,

That might come up that we may learn about ourselves and that we may not really like to face.

And so that's why the third phase is about not just self-love but also courage and having the courage to be able to face these things and being able to acknowledge what's there and what doesn't serve us and we can go so much deeper just in that phase in itself.

But sometimes we're in a phase of just constantly learning that battle where we are open and we are asking for help and it's still just a constant battle of just loving ourselves and having that courage.

So where we are in the phases of struggle,

So far those are the three phases,

Is what phase we're in,

It really doesn't matter but just acknowledge the fact that they exist.

And as we allow ourselves to move forward in this journey,

Eventually persevering through that journey of self-love and courage naturally evolves into just experiencing a level of presence where we've had the patience to stick on the journey of self-love and courage and with that patience all of a sudden we start to see and reap the benefits of all that love that we've given to ourselves and that we've allowed ourselves to receive and all these little seedlings start to actually blossom and we actually start to see it manifest in our lives in different forms whether it's new relationships,

Whether it's new opportunities,

Whatever it is there's a recognition that wow,

It is paying off.

In the smallest moments even just being able to recognize that it's a beautiful day and seeing the sun and noticing nature and just noticing and experiencing moments of beauty that we may have never felt or experienced before because we weren't present enough.

And so again,

A persevering self-love and courageous journey evolves into that level of presence and when we can experience these moments because of where we've come from,

That place of self-hatred,

Self-sabotage,

Now when we're in this place of being present there is a deep level of appreciation because we remember where we were and being able to experience these moments leaves us feeling grateful and appreciative.

And so that's another phase in the midst of struggle is that we can actually be in the midst of struggle and actually experience gratitude because the gratitude is coming from the process and how we're allowing ourselves to move forward.

But now at this point we're obviously in a phase of more faith and more hope and as we allow ourselves to evolve further from being grateful,

We all of a sudden have an understanding of a greater picture.

So we go on to life and then we see the world and we see everyone in their different phases of the journey.

So it's no longer a judgment on them or an opinion of what they're going through because it's clear.

They're just in the phase and we see the greater picture.

In fact,

If they are in a phase where we can relate and recognize they're in the phase where they're open to help and they're needing help,

We can put ourselves in a place where we can then start to offer and extend the love we've given to ourselves and extend it on to the people that we cross paths with because we know for sure when we were in that place we probably would have appreciated that help when we were at our lowest point.

So there's that understanding of a greater picture of this is not just about me and it helps us to understand that we are actually all the same.

And again,

This journey keeps evolving.

We may stay in certain phases for quite a long time.

We may take a few steps back and we need to go back to some of the self-love and the courage again.

But how far we take it is really how open we are and there's no right or wrong.

And so after we start to have an understanding of a greater picture,

Then on a deeper level all of a sudden there starts to be a deeper meaning as we serve and help while still continuing with our own journey of self-love because we recognize it's a constant evolution and we begin to understand the meaning of relationships and how we're all the same.

We're all going through the same thing in our own way.

We see clearly the idea that if we were all open to each other in such a way to help,

We could actually probably achieve world peace.

We begin to experience a movement around us that became a ripple effect just because we chose to love ourselves and how that extends naturally to the people around us and naturally creates this movement around us as it just creates this beautiful rippling effect.

And in this phase we start to recognize that it's not us that is this power.

It's the force of love that holds the power.

So we just need to allow that love to flow through us.

And we may possibly want to name that force even.

When we start to experience the power of it and watch it in our lives and see that the beauty that it could create,

We may want to explore it further and put a name to it.

Love,

Divine energy,

God,

Higher power.

But really what does it matter?

All that really matters is that it is real to you now because you're experiencing it.

And you start to connect with parts of life that are more real,

Maybe things you start to find yourself detached from things that are not important,

That may have seemed important in the past.

And you just start to gain more clarity on life itself.

And life throws you back a few times to reach greater heights so we can fall back and needing to ask for help.

So it's not just this continual forward moving journey but then the next challenge comes along.

And we're going through constant struggle but the struggles are there so that we can actually allow ourselves to follow through in the different phases so that we are actually developing as human beings and are learning to grow into greater aspects of ourselves and we learn a greater love for ourselves.

It's just a constant conditioning and a training to prepare us in becoming this channel of greater love.

And then there's finally the part of us where we recognize these phases even exist.

And when we know they exist and can identify where we are we can just accept the fact that it's just a phase.

It doesn't mean anything about who we are as people,

We're the same person.

It's just a different setting,

A different phase and if we just don't want to stay in a phase anymore it's about recognizing that we can be in a place of empowerment to know that we can choose to shift and enter a new phase of our life anytime we choose.

It's just about making that choice and simply being able to see it from that perspective and seeing life struggles in that way that they're just a bunch of phases that we're in.

It doesn't make us more right or more wrong to be in a certain phase,

It's just a phase.

That in itself allows us to be put in an empowered state.

So this is kind of what I came up with and I've had people come to me for guidance and asking for help and what I've learned was everyone who is coming for help,

There is always some form of struggle.

So obviously when we're asking for help you're struggling through something and you're seeking to get through it.

I realized that even though the theme was the same as asking for help and guidance,

Everyone was in different phases.

So I may have had someone in the state of love and courage and it's like,

How do I get past this next phase?

My feedback was just learn to be grateful because that's the next phase.

I'm just educating them on the next phase relative to where they are.

If they're in the phase where they don't want to receive help,

It's just about I just simply love them and allow them to experience the fact that they're accepted and they're allowed to be in that state.

So if you're listening to this and you're able to identify what phase you're in,

Just simply identify it and just allow yourself to be in a state of just acceptance of the phase that you're in.

At any moment you want to shift and move into a different phase,

Then it's just about allowing yourself to do that and giving yourself the permission.

I hope that was helpful and informative and that's pretty much it for today.

Have a wonderful day and that would be all.