Happiness

And welcome to my Tranquil Spirits podcast.

My name is Jacqueline,

And today I want to talk about happiness.

We hear people all around us saying,

Oh,

I just want to be happy,

Oh,

I just want to be happy.

And that seems to be the main thing that people want out of life.

But what exactly is happiness?

You can't buy it,

You can't feel it,

You can't taste it or touch it.

It's an emotion that's deep within us.

Happiness.

Now,

What makes us happy?

Sometimes we think that material things will make us happy.

If I had that new dress,

I'd be so happy.

If I had that new pair of shoes,

I'd be so happy.

If I could only afford to buy that car,

I'd be so happy.

And yes,

Material things do make us happy in that moment of receiving them.

It might be like with a car,

That for a week you might stay happy with it.

But it doesn't give you the happiness that you desire for the rest of your life.

It soon fades away and then your mind's onto something else that will make you happy.

So another new dress that you've seen or a different car that you've seen.

Happiness is an emotion that comes from within us.

We've all got it there.

It's something that we have to bring forth for ourselves.

So when you hear somebody say,

Oh,

He made me sad or she made me miserable,

No,

They didn't actually.

It was your choice in that particular moment to react in whichever way you did.

So to react in a negative way to some words,

To react in a positive way to some words.

It's always your choice how you react.

Nobody ever makes you feel or think or do anything.

It is your choice.

And we need to take responsibility for that.

But happiness again,

Let's just look at this a little bit deeper because when we talk about happiness and we talk about,

Oh,

He made me so happy,

Oh,

She made me so happy,

Oh,

That dress makes me so happy,

It is an emotion that's within us.

And it's an emotion that we've got to build from within us.

So when we realize that happiness is an emotion,

We realize that we can be happy whenever we want to.

We've got to own our feelings.

We've got to own our emotions.

We can't put the blame onto somebody else.

Now,

If we can buy happiness,

Then all the rich people would be happy and all the poor people would be sad.

But that's not how it works.

It's how you react to whatever's going on around you,

How you react to your circumstances,

How you react to the people around you,

How you react to everything is whether you feel happy or sad.

But how can we be happy when we're in a sad situation or when we're angry at someone or when we're feeling those negative emotions?

What can we do to snap ourselves out of it?

Well,

The number one thing is that we've got to want to change how we're feeling.

Now,

It's very easy,

As I'm sure all of you will know,

To go along on that negative route.

Somebody said something and you've taken it in the wrong way and you've got so cross and angry about it,

And you find this roller coaster ride of anger,

Of resentment,

Of everything else,

And it goes on and on and on.

It's very easy to get on that roller coaster ride,

But it's also very easy to get on the roller coaster ride of positivity,

Of happiness,

Of fun.

It's your choice,

Whichever one you choose in that particular moment or that particular day or whatever it is that's going on there.

So what works for me and what works for a lot of my clients as well is to be prepared with things that make you feel happy.

So for example,

For me,

It's chocolate.

I could eat chocolate all day long and the smile would just get bigger and bigger on my face.

That doesn't work for other people,

But what I'm saying to you is be ready with something that makes you happy.

So it could be looking at pictures of dogs.

It could be going for a long walk.

It could be going for a swim.

It could be going for a jog.

It could be anything at all.

Interacting with your children,

Interacting with your grandchildren,

Interacting with that friend that lives a hundred miles away from you,

Whatever it is.

If you have a list of all the things that make you happy,

Then when you're feeling sad,

Miserable,

Whatever those negative emotions are,

You can just look at this list and pick one to be able to turn around your feelings,

Your emotions.

Once you start to get in the habit of doing this,

You find it easier and easier to do.

And then you won't need to look at your list because you know what it is that makes you feel happy.

But also what you learn along the way with this is that you start to realize what makes you unhappy,

What makes you miserable,

What makes you angry.

And so when somebody says something negative to you that you feel you're going to react in a negative way,

You can almost stop yourself immediately and start thinking of things that make you happy.

You will find that your whole balance of happy negative or positive negative life will completely do an about turn.

And you will find that more of your day is in that positive stream.

So it really is about taking ownership of who you are and how you react.

And when you do that,

That's when you're in more control of those negative feelings that may pop up.

So happiness is a wonderful place to be.

I expect now,

If I said to you now,

I want you to think of something,

A feeling,

A place or someone that you spoke to where you felt so much happiness around you.

I'll just give you a couple of seconds just to kind of think about that.

And when you've actually got that,

Feel the emotion that you were feeling in that moment.

How did you feel?

What does happiness feel like?

What did it feel like to feel so happy that you thought you were going to burst,

That your heart was going to burst out of your chest?

You were so happy.

You know,

It's about getting those feelings back.

So whenever you're feeling negative and angry,

Do you like feeling like that?

If you do,

Then fine,

Carry on.

But the majority of people don't like feeling like that.

So when you feel yourself and you're thinking,

You know what,

I don't feel quite right in my body,

Things don't feel quite right,

That's when you turn to your happiness.

That's when you turn to that list of all the things that can make you turn that around and make you feel happy,

Make you feel that really,

Really joyful feeling within you.

And that's the feeling that you want to,

The more you can react with that feeling,

The longer it will hold for.

So you need to stay there for at least a few moments with that thought,

With that feeling,

For it to stay there and for you to continue then on with your day,

On with whatever you're doing,

And feel that happiness.

But also whatever negativity is there around you,

You need to move away from it.

Don't stay with it,

Don't linger with it.

Because the more you stay there,

The more you linger with it,

The more you will just be on that role of being negative.

So look at that happy list,

Make that list now after you've finished listening to this.

Have something to quickly fall back on and know that that feeling of happiness within you,

Keep it going for a few minutes and it can change your whole day,

Can change how you feel about lots of things,

But it can change your whole day.

So know that happiness is not something that you can buy,

It's not something that a material thing can make happen for a long period of time.

It really is an emotion,

A feeling within you and it's something that you can bring to the fore whenever you choose to.

Whatever you're doing,

Have a wonderful day doing it.

And always remember,

Follow that dream because that's the best thing in the world that you can do for yourself if you're following what makes you really happy.

Thanks for listening.

I'll catch you all again soon.

Bye for now.