The Beauty Of Gratitude

This week I'd like to talk about the superpower that is gratitude and offer a guided meditation on gratitude.

It's very easy,

I think,

For us to,

In the hustle and bustle of daily life,

Get fixated on the things that are wrong.

What we don't have,

What we need,

What isn't working,

What needs fixing.

And in the midst of all of this,

We can lose sight of all that we do have.

Everything that is going well,

What is working,

What doesn't need fixing.

And while it makes sense to put your time and energy into what needs to be done,

What happens is as we obsess there and put more focus there,

We start to create a life with a very potent negative bias.

We start to live a life of need,

Of lack,

Dissatisfaction,

Disappointment.

Remember as we've previously talked about,

What we attend to for the moment is our reality.

This idea that we are a product of what we think.

So if we're always focusing on what is wrong with our environment,

Other people,

Ourself,

Our country,

Politics and so on,

Then that is the reality you inhabit,

One where everything is wrong.

And then we more easily succumb to grief,

Cynicism,

Ill will.

And just generally unhappiness.

So I think it's supremely important to bring balance,

To take a step back sometimes,

Take the wider view,

Bring gratitude to what supports us on a daily basis.

Gratitude is so important for our wellbeing.

It can really turn our day around and bring a radical shift to our life overall.

It's the method for overcoming unhappiness about ourself and our life.

It is how we take back control of the reality we inhabit and turn it into one with much more lightness,

Much more joy and love.

So we know that the monkey mind and the survival mechanism has a bias for negativity.

It's been very useful in our evolutionary past to keep us alive,

To keep us safe.

It makes sense to keep an eye out for the bad things in our immediate environment.

It's useful to do that.

But nowadays we don't have the same sorts of troubles.

For example,

Loss or rejection way back then,

It would have severely affected your chances of survival.

But for most,

However,

Being rejected by someone nowadays doesn't mean that you're going to be out in the cold and die.

But the mind,

The brain,

There's something internal,

Something instinctual.

So we fear a new push at those experiences in the same way.

So we need to turn to those,

Bring awareness to those.

But alongside that,

Alongside turning to our demons,

Working with them,

It's important to bring balance to that negative bias in our daily life.

It's so easy to feel that the world is all negativity,

What we see in the news and on social media,

All that fear,

That judgment,

The hate.

So not in order to block that out and ignore that and pretend that the world is all amazing,

But in order to bring balance,

We can cultivate that quality of love and appreciation,

That gratitude in life.

So we can take our time and observe the many things in our experience from a new perspective.

We tend to look at things and people in our life and see them as static,

Permanent things.

We take life and existence for granted.

We take all that we have around us for granted.

We take the small comforts and the nice things as a given,

And then we complain that life doesn't work out the way we wanted it to.

But why should we have all that we desire?

Why should we never experience any difficulties?

That's part of the problem on the side of the mind.

We have these expectations on life that we shouldn't have to experience this,

That it should go that way,

It should go this way,

Exactly as planned.

Or disappointment,

Frustration.

This is an expression of our attachment,

Not understanding that,

First of all,

It's unreasonable to expect the whole world and other people to conform to our wishes.

And secondly,

That the things out there are not causes of happiness or suffering from their own side,

Completely independent of the mind.

So to truly live at peace we need to learn to let go of this attachment,

To let go of the should and the expectation that we put on things and other people,

And instead turn to and appreciate what is.

And recognize that in reality all things are impermanent and changing.

They arise in dependence upon other things and everything is in a state of flux.

Everything has a story of how it came to be,

And it involves the kindness of others,

The intelligence and hard work of others,

The gifts and the protection of this earth and nature.

We can even bring gratitude to the sorrows in life.

In Buddhism it's often said that difficulties are the biggest teachers.

An essential part of spiritual awakening are qualities like patience or compassion.

It's impossible to cultivate these without having to experience hardship.

And while we never feel grateful for difficulties when they are appearing in our lives,

Often we can look back and say,

You know what,

If that hadn't happened,

If this hadn't happened,

I'd have never become this kind of person.

Or I'd have never ended up with that job or with that person or making that decision in my life.

Jack Kornfield,

He tells a story of a man who came to a course of his,

And it was this gentleman,

He shared his story,

He had a son,

A daughter-in-law,

Who had succumbed to a drug addiction.

And that meant the grandchildren had ended up with him,

And he needed to support them,

And it flipped his life completely upside down.

And you could see,

You know,

Understandably the sort of anger and frustration,

Grief of all sorts that this man had experienced.

And not just what happened to his son,

You know,

His child who he loved,

But also what had happened to his own life.

You know,

What his life should have been,

But now isn't.

There's a grief for that as well.

But this gentleman,

He told of how gratitude had transformed the way he viewed his life.

He was grateful to have the grandchildren.

He was grateful that his children were still alive,

And that they were considering treatment.

He was grateful for the depths of compassion,

Strength,

And forbearance that he'd cultivated.

He was grateful that through what he had learned about addiction,

That he could somehow contribute to helping others in his same position.

So it's interesting,

You know,

Life has its fair share of ups and downs,

But for better or worse,

It is your life.

It's the only one you've got.

So let's start with a simple act of gratitude,

For all that you have,

For all that you can enjoy,

For all that is going right.

This present moment,

Right here,

Right now,

It's beautiful and it is perfect.

Your breathing so often just takes care of itself.

So just breathe.

Feel that breath moving through you,

Keeping you alive.

Think of the people who influence us positively,

Those who have helped us.

The challenges in life,

Which at the time,

You know,

We thought we'd never get through them,

But if we look back now,

We can think,

Wow,

If that hadn't have happened.

And we can see how it helped us grow,

See how it helped us develop.

The food we have access to,

Your devices,

Your comforts,

The internet,

The four walls around you,

The ability to be warm and safe,

The sun on your skin,

The ground beneath you.

And then notice what happens in the body,

In your emotions,

And then how your day transforms when you see it from this perspective.

It's a radical shift and it lends itself to us feeling more giving,

More kind,

More loving,

More positive.

And we'll naturally let go of the shoulds,

The expectations we set on ourselves,

Because we can be so harsh on ourselves,

Thinking,

You know,

I shouldn't think this way,

I shouldn't be that way.

So we'll naturally let go of the shoulds and the expectations on ourselves,

On things,

On other people.

We can live with more ease,

More mindfully,

Allowing and accepting the events that unfold in our life,

Dealing with them with a calm,

Creative mind.

This is freedom in this life.

So I would encourage you to build a habit of noting what you feel grateful for every morning,

Right when you wake up.

Some find it helpful to do this in a journal.

You might even prefer to do this before bed.

You can also try expressing appreciation today to a personal thing for which you feel very grateful,

Even just a simple thank you.

And please now join me as we bring gratitude into our meditation practice in the next episode.