The Source Of Overthinking - The Many Voices In My Head

Hello,

Namaste and welcome.

Today we are going to talk about the source of overthinking.

And the topic of today's session is the many voices in my head.

So let's begin.

First we need to understand that what overthinking is,

How it happens,

What to do with it.

Now as per the latest research,

We get about 6000 thoughts in a day.

That's what the latest research says.

And just imagine the amount of thinking we do.

That means that almost every 10 seconds we have one thought.

Just imagine how many thoughts we have in a day.

I believe that that's increasing day by day.

Because we are currently living in the information age and there is so much to think about.

And this can become very problematic.

And I'm sure that you are here in this video because you know that this is a big problem today.

Overthinking.

These so many voices in my head.

Sometimes I would burn out.

The brain consumes a lot of energy and I feel burned out.

I feel drained.

And it's as if I just can't stop these voices in my head.

And it affects me.

It causes me stress.

It causes me anxiety.

So what to do about it.

Now someone might tell you that stop these thoughts or don't think.

But this is not what I feel.

What I feel is that we cannot really stop the thoughts.

Especially in the beginning we just can't stop the thoughts.

Maybe someone like a Buddha who is enlightened they do not have thoughts in their mind.

But we human beings we are bound to think.

So it's not about stopping the thoughts.

Because when we try to stop the thought we are kind of like fighting with the thought.

It's like a battle.

We are trying to force it.

We are trying to suppress it.

This will lead to in fact more thoughts if I try to stop them.

You can try it by yourself.

If you try to stop your thoughts it just doesn't work.

So then what to do.

Do I think positive thoughts instead of negative thoughts.

Do I try to change those thoughts.

I believe that that also doesn't work because the more I'm trying to change my thoughts again I'm like kind of having a battle in my head.

I am trying to change those negative thoughts to positive ones.

But still I'm thinking even if I'm thinking positive thoughts still I'm thinking right.

My brain is still consuming energy.

I'm still having all those voices in my head.

So the whole idea is to get to a place of peace.

Now how to do that.

So we don't try to stop it.

We don't try to change it.

What we do is we observe these thoughts.

Now the question is how to observe these thoughts.

There are various ways in which you can do that.

Some of the ways that I like doing you know I follow in observing my thoughts is I would see these thoughts as bubbles.

I would visualize them as bubbles.

You know like soap bubbles floating in front of me.

Now when I watch these thoughts as bubbles I know that these bubbles are temporary.

You know they will pop at some point of time.

They will float and they will go away.

And that's what I realize about thoughts that thoughts are not permanent.

They are impermanent.

They come and they go.

And if we keep we just be a witness to these thoughts as they come and they go.

You know as these bubbles rise and they go away.

We are just witnessing them.

You are the one who is observing the thoughts.

You are not the thought itself.

You are not the thoughts but you are the one who is observing whatever that is your consciousness your spirit your soul is beyond the thoughts that is observing the thoughts.

So this is one way.

Another way to do is if I you know sometimes I would also see those thoughts on a screen in front of me as if they are playing out on a screen because the whole idea is when I separate these thoughts like this when I see them separate from me then I know that my true essence my consciousness my spirit my soul whatever you want to call it is is beyond the thoughts.

It is that place of peace that inner peace that inner silence within me that is beyond the thoughts.

And when I connect to that inner peace when I connect to my my pure pure awareness my consciousness then I can easily stop I can easily you know go beyond these thoughts.

I can easily reduce the intensity of these thoughts.

The thoughts might not stop completely but at least you will not be focused on them.

You can you will be more peaceful because you are connected to your true essence.

So this is one way and as you would know meditation is the best practice to do that.

So any form of mindfulness meditation can be really helpful.

Now another question is how can we find the source of these thoughts.

One way is to just observe these thoughts as you keep observing observing their intent their intensity will be reduced.

But if you want to go deeper and if you want to understand if you want to heal these thoughts if you want to understand what is the source why am I thinking what is the source of these thoughts then there are many reasons due to which we think there are many kinds of voices in our head.

And these voices these thoughts come from our past experiences our challenges our memories are you know our painful memories maybe traumas and because of those experiences the thoughts are the memories are in my head the thoughts keep arising.

So if I can understand what those voices inside my head are saying then I can heal them if I can get to the root of the problem if I can get to the root of those voices then maybe I can transform them and heal them.

So in today's session I would like to discuss seven types of voices that are usually in our heads although there are many types of voices but I feel that these seven types of voices are the major voices that especially in the modern age today we have these kinds of voices in our head.

If we can understand what these voices are what these thoughts are then I believe that we can we can transform them and we can reduce even if we can't stop thinking we can at least reduce the intensity of our thinking.

The first type of voice in my head is something I call the fear monger fear monger.

Now why do I call it fear monger because it is that voice in my head that makes me fearful that makes me afraid.

Because if I am subscribed to fear if I am listening to people who cause fear inside me if I am listening to media that is causing fear inside me then I will constantly have this voice in my head.

It will keep me scared all the time.

Now one thing with news media is that most of news media is fear based.

You would see right when you switch on the television you mostly or when you read the newspaper what you see mostly is fear based news which means that the news mostly shows what is wrong with the world.

You know where is the crime happening how many people are dying where are the wars happening what are the politicians doing to each other what are the people you know how are the people suffering.

Now although that is important to know but I believe that there is too much of fear in news media.

99% of the times you would see that there is just negative news.

The question is why.

That's because what these news channels have understood is that if we are fearful we will be hooked to the television.

We will be hooked to media.

We will want to see the news again and again.

For example if there is a crime that happened in your area you would want to know about that right so that you can protect yourself.

So the question then is whatever news that I'm watching is it really relevant to me or am I unnecessarily watching news which might not even be relevant to me.

Some news are important.

Yes we need to be careful we need to protect ourselves.

But most of the news that I keep watching if I'm watching what is the violence happening in another country you know how what are what is wrong with the world out there.

If I'm if I'm mostly tuned to that then what will happen is that the world outside will seem to be the world will seem to be a dark place to me.

You know it will seem as if we are living in hell.

But that's not the reality because there are also a lot of wonderful things happening in the world.

If you go out and if you if you see there is a lot of beauty in the world.

If you meet people there is a lot there is a lot of love amongst people.

Yes there are people who have hatred.

We have all kinds of people but there are also people who are very loving.

You know we have such beautiful nature.

We have the oceans we have the mountains we have flowers.

We have such beauty in nature.

So this world is not necessarily only a dark place the way it is shown in news.

It is it is a balance.

It is both.

But what do we choose.

Do we choose to focus on the dark part or do we choose to focus on that part which is more happy and loving.

So the fear monger is because we are tuned into fear.

We are tuned into these news channels and we talk about what is wrong all the time.

You know we people around us if we are if we are talking to people who are always talking about negative stuff then obviously then there will be a lot of fear in my head and that fear will speak to me and it will keep me very stressed.

As you would know that you know our our sympathetic nervous system is triggered by fear which is our fight flight or freeze response.

So if I'm always having those fearful thoughts imagine how many times my sympathetic nervous system will be triggered and it creates stress in the body it creates the stress hormone cortisol which if is is released for longer durations it causes diseases in our body.

So do I want to release fear based stress based hormones like cortisol or do I want to release happy hormones in my body you know something like oxytocin endorphins.

So then what can I do is I can avoid being tuned into fear.

I can reduce my consumption of fear based news media.

I can talk about positive stuff.

I can focus on the beauty in the world.

I can you know I can be around people and talk to those people who are uplifting in positive versus who are just talking about negative dark and fearful stuff.

That's how we kind of reduce this intensity of this fear monger inside our heads.

The second voice in my head is something I call the shoulder.

Shoulder.

Now what is the shoulder?

Shoulder is that voice in my head which tells me that I should do things that somehow I'm responsible for certain things that I should do this I should do that.

You know one of my friends his name is Charles Freely.

He said something wonderful.

He said that whenever I find myself saying this to myself that you should do this you should do that.

You know I tell myself stop shooting on yourself.

Stop shooting on yourself.

So I say this to myself now stop shooting on yourself.

There is no should.

And this should comes this voice comes from mostly usually from our parents.

You know because maybe our parents it's like that inner parent inside my head that tells me that you should do this or you shouldn't do that or you should do this or maybe it comes from the religious preacher.

For example I was always told that you know you should talk to your relatives you should meet your relatives and do this and do that.

Now although some of my relatives are not you know are not wonderful in that sense they they are not very loving but still when something happens maybe it's a festival or something you know this voice inside my head starts telling me you should call up that relative or you should meet that relative but there is no should there is no responsibility.

All these responsibilities are just perceived responsibilities.

You have the right to live your life the way you want to.

There is no shooting.

So this is the voice of the shooter.

And once we realize this once we realize that you don't have any responsibility as such.

Each one of us have our own responsibility.

You know the only responsibility is that I have is my responsibility if I have come to this planet the only responsibility I have is my own responsibility.

Yes I can help others but there is no should in that there is no responsibility in that you are doing that out of your love and compassion but it's not that you are bound to do that.

There is a beautiful quote by Ramana Maharshi and he said that your own self-realization is the greatest gift you can give to the world.

Your own self-realization is the greatest gift you can give to the world and I totally agree with that.

It's just you know if we can just love ourselves and awaken ourselves and work on ourselves automatically others will benefit from it.

There is no shooting here.

So that was the voice of the shooter.

The third one is the inner critic you might have heard about this term inner critic.

Inner critic.

So what is the inner critic?

Inner critic is as the name suggests it is that critic inside me that criticizes me for everything that blames me that shames me that causes that guilt regret that puts me down every time.

You know it tells me that you are so pathetic why did you do that?

You're not a good person or you are not worthy enough or you are not important you are not lovable.

You should not exist.

All these voices all these voices come from this inner critic.

All this self-loathing self-judgment lack of self-acceptance lack of self-worth all this comes from this inner critic.

Again we have to understand what is the source of this inner critic?

Why do I blame myself shame myself judge myself?

And a lot of times we find that again this the source of this inner critic also comes from our childhood.

So if I had a parent or if I had you know a guardian who or a teacher who used to criticize me a lot who used to say that you are pathetic you are not a good person or you are not you know you are dumb or whatever it is then most probably because of all that past challenges and that past trauma I will have this I will still have this inner critic inside me many of us we carry that from our childhood and again that inner critic is like an inner parent who blames shames criticizes or maybe it is the religious preacher who said that who says that you are you are an evil person or you are a born sinner whatever it is.

So how do I heal this inner critic?

For this I believe that inner child healing is very important inner child healing.

We go to our childhood self we go to our child self our inner child and we you know this inner child of ours the childhood version of ours that was criticized a lot by others we go to it and we do the opposite of criticism we encourage it we give it love we motivate it we say words of love we tell it that you are important you are worthy.

Inner child healing is the solution to heal this inner critic.

The fourth voice is something I call the dystopian.

The dystopian.

So what is the dystopian?

Dystopia means a dark future.

There are a lot of dystopian movies or TV shows made these days where you see end of the world scenarios right you see that how our world is doomed maybe our world will get destroyed due to you know a pandemic or due to nuclear wars or due to artificial intelligence taking over humanity whatever it is.

So this dystopian is that voice inside my head that keeps thinking about end of the world scenarios or a dark future in which we keep imagining how this world can end or in which we keep imagining that how you know this world will be a hell in the coming future.

Now again it is important to understand where is this voice coming from.

It is coming from mostly these movies or these TV shows that we are watching these days which we show a lot of such content.

I don't understand why mostly our content is focused you know the content in these shows and movies is focused around creating a dystopia is focused around how this world can become dark.

And there is the content of creating the opposite of it which is utopia.

Utopia means a wonderful society a beautiful society a beautiful future for ourselves.

So rather than showing how we can create a utopia these TV shows and movies mostly show how we can create a dystopia.

And if we are focused on that we will again live in a lot of fear we will be living we will live in a dystopian mindset.

We will just keep imagining and visualizing those end of the world scenarios how this world might end or how this world might become a hell.

And what will that do to us what does that do.

Again it causes fear inside us again it causes that stress anxiety it triggers my nervous system because I'm afraid now that you know something might happen to the world.

So can I then focus on more positive content.

That's the solution rather than watching all these dystopian TV shows and movies.

Can I focus on that content which shows that how we will create a beautiful world a wonderful world.

Can I focus on those possibilities that how this world can be made a wonderful place how this world can be made a place of love unity joy happiness.

So that's something which you can do.

You can visualize that because you know Buddha said that you become whatever you think about.

And if we keep thinking about dystopia we will manifest that.

But if we really want to manifest a utopian future where you know we are creating a better world we will have to think about that rather than thinking about dystopian stuff.

So can I then tune out of this negative content and tune into that content or maybe visualize that wonderful future in which we will create a better humanity.

The fifth one is the depressed guy.

That's the fifth voice.

The depressed guy.

Now what is the depressed guy.

The depressed guy is someone is a is a voice inside my head that doesn't have hope that is hopeless that feels that my world has come to an end that my life is boring that my life is you know my life is doomed or my life cannot improve.

This is what the depressed guy is.

It will keep telling me you know this is this voice inside my head it will keep telling me how hopeless my life is.

But is that really true.

You know one one way to overcome this depressed guy who is hopeless is can I ask it can I ask this voice is that really true whatever you are saying.

Is it really impossible for me to create a better life for myself because a lot of people feel hopeless and that's why they are depressed as if they don't have control.

This is when we have a victim mindset where we think that I don't have any control and I'm you know this is how my life is.

I cannot do anything about it and I am just affected by external forces.

That's because you know my partner is not loving and that's why my life is hopeless or my government is not doing something.

That's why my life is hopeless.

Can you sense the victimhood in these statements.

Can you sense how I have given up my control to others.

But the solution to that is to take back that control and to tell yourself that I am the creator.

I am the creator of my own life.

And in this very moment I can change my life.

Every moment is a new moment.

Every moment is a new opportunity to create something new.

So even if your life you are you are going through challenges you are you have hit that rock bottom you are suffering.

It can be.

It will change.

Life has all different seasons.

There's not only winter there is summer also.

There is spring also.

So we don't have to think that my life has come to an end or you know there is no hope.

We can tell ourselves that everything is impermanent.

These seasons will change.

Joy will also arise in my life.

In fact joy is an internal thing you can choose to have that joy even if your outer situations are not that wonderful.

But your outer situations will also change at some point of time because everything is impermanent.

And you are the creator of your reality.

You in this moment can create something new.

You can decide to get out of that painful situation that you are in because every moment is new.

And in every moment you can create something new.

This is how we overcome this depressed guy.

The sixth one is the judge.

Judge.

Now as the name suggests this voice in our head is the one that keeps judging others.

So if I am going out for a walk on the street I look at certain people and I see what kind of clothes they are wearing.

I see how they are talking.

I see them and I start judging.

If I am constantly judging others this is the voice in my head.

The question is why do I do that?

Why do I judge others?

Now in psychology there is a term called projections which means that when we judge others it is actually our own issue.

It is a projection.

It is actually our own unresolved issue.

Because there is something that I haven't accepted in myself and that's why I'm judging others.

That's why I am judging other people.

For example let's say in my childhood I was a bit messy and I was not you know I was carefree.

I used to wear whatever I want to wear.

I was not very concerned about how I am looking.

Now if my parents told me that this is wrong and they scolded me for this then most probably today I will find myself you know judging others because I judge myself for doing that for being messy and whenever I see someone else messy or being carefree about their clothes and how they look then I judge them right.

So this judgment is coming from my own issue.

It is coming from my own lack of acceptance of that messiness inside me which I do not accept because I was judged by my parents in my childhood and hence I am now judging the other person.

So these judgments are projections and once we again understand the root of these judgments where they are coming from.

When I judge someone I can see I can tell myself this is just a projection.

Why am I judging where is this coming from.

How was I judged maybe and can I heal that again.

It's a good idea to do inner child healing because a lot of these judgments from our parents from others they originate in the childhood.

And the final voice is that of the victim.

The victim.

Now the victim is similar to what we recently discussed of the depressed guy who you know who feels like a victim.

But this victim is more of that complaining person who just complains all the time.

You know why did my partner do this to me.

Why is my supervisor doing this to me.

Why are my children doing this to me.

Why is the government doing this to me.

Why is the world doing this to me.

Why is it like that.

Why only me.

You know all these can you can you sense the complaining nature.

Can you sense the victimhood in these statements.

We feel like a victim.

Again this is a this is a mindset in which I will keep suffering because I have given my control to someone else for my issues.

I have given my remote control to someone else.

And as if I am not in control.

But I will stop complaining when I take back that control and when I say that I create my own life.

I am the one who is responsible for what's happening in my life.

I you know I I can manifest a wonderful life.

I I manifest my own reality.

This is not to judge ourselves.

Not you know if I have issues in my life then I will judge myself that why did I create those issues.

No it's not about that.

It's about taking back that control and saying that I even if there are problems in my life I can now change it.

I can manifest.

I take that responsibility.

I am a creator.

I create my own life.

So can we then change this victim mindset.

Can we stop complaining and tell ourselves that I am responsible for my own life.

Understanding these different kinds of voices is a practice of self-awareness.

The more we become aware of ourselves the more we will find out the root of these thoughts this overthinking and the more we can heal that.

I hope you found value in this talk today and lots of love to you.

Namaste.