Healing From Burnout

Welcome to the Shifting with Marley podcast.

I'm Marley.

Thank you for joining me wherever you are.

All that I ask of you,

The listener,

Is to have an open mind and an open heart.

And in return,

I offer you myself.

Today we're going to talk about burnout and boundaries,

Two topics that are intimately connected because I just recently admitted to myself that I've been burnt out for a while.

So I decided to address this topic head on for myself,

Really,

Because I need it.

But since we are all connected,

Maybe you need it too.

I also think that perhaps we've all been burnt out on the collective level for a while now,

Which makes sense,

Given how fast our world is changing every day,

And given the struggle and upheaval that comes as the old world crumbles and a new world is born.

We are all affected internally by the external chaos to varying degrees in our own way.

We've all been going through it.

So it's understandable that so many of us are walking around burnt out.

But that doesn't mean it's okay and we should not be normalizing burnout.

We all deserve to thrive.

Our souls came to this planet to learn and grow and evolve and thrive.

So let's tackle burnout together.

Let's shine a light on this difficult and pervasive topic.

Take a deep belly breath with me in this moment.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Let's begin to heal together.

A disclaimer before we dive in.

I am no expert on this topic.

But what I can offer you today is a summary of my own research,

My own personal experience with burnout,

Perhaps some new perspective on this topic,

And some ideas for healing and self reflection.

I'll start today by sharing how I was feeling at the height of my burnout.

First of all,

I felt physically and emotionally exhausted.

And I felt like I was always chasing sleep,

Never getting enough for what my body needed.

My mind was racing constantly,

And I wasn't able to turn it off.

That also negatively affected my sleep.

So it was a vicious cycle.

I was also stressed out all the time and had so much anxiety.

And that manifested in physical pressure in my chest that was with me constantly.

I also felt energetically drained.

I felt that my job was sucking all the energy out of me and had none left to give to family or friends or anything that I enjoyed doing.

I felt like I had no time.

And as a result of all of this,

I went into hermit mode.

Out of necessity.

I was barely surviving.

And one day,

Not that long ago,

I just stopped and said,

You know what,

This is not how I want to live my life.

I want to thrive instead of just survive.

And that's when I admitted to myself that I was extremely burnt out.

And that's when I decided to make some changes.

That is the first step in healing burnout.

Recognizing there is a problem,

Admitting to yourself you're burnt out,

Having that self awareness,

And then being ready and willing to make some changes.

From my research,

I found levels of people saying they've experienced burnout in surveys has been increasing in the past couple years.

So I'll add to part of the first steps to healing burnout is to give yourself grace.

Be patient with yourself,

Love yourself,

And accept yourself wherever you are.

Being human on this planet at this time is hard,

No matter who you are.

And we are all doing our best.

So remember throughout the whole process,

Give yourself grace.

Perhaps as you're listening right now,

Give yourself a big hug.

I also encourage you to find the lessons in your burnout.

Sit with the feelings coming up,

Sit with the discomfort and the pain.

Can you be present with whatever comes up?

Be the gentle observer of yourself,

Your emotions.

Be the non-judgmental witness.

Get to the root of whatever emotions or pain you're experiencing and love yourself no matter what comes up.

Love yourself even in your burnt out state.

Ask yourself,

What is my burnout trying to show me?

Being burnt out is difficult and it sucks.

But can you flip your perspective and look at this time in your life as an opportunity for growth and expansion?

Can you look at your burnout as an opportunity to learn whatever lessons you need to in order to evolve and reach your highest potential?

What if being burned out is a sign that you are out of alignment?

Maybe you are out of alignment with your body or your soul or your purpose.

I encourage you to explore this for yourself.

Do some self-reflection,

Sit with yourself,

Try to understand the lessons available to you in this moment.

I ask you,

What if so many of us are burnt out right now because the universe is pushing us all to grow and expand,

Pushing us all to change and evolve past our comfort zones?

Or maybe the universe is pushing us all to surrender,

To let go,

To let go of control and attachment,

A universal redirect.

I truly believe there is magic and transformation available to us from our burnt out state.

We just have to open up and let it in.

Some self-reflection questions to start with.

Where are you pushing and grinding in your life?

And where can you ease up and allow things to be?

Where in your life can you soften?

How can you give yourself more grace?

Where in your life are you holding on tight and trying to control everything?

Where in your life can you loosen your grip,

Let go of control and surrender?

If any of those questions resonated with you,

I invite you to reflect on them,

Perhaps journal on your answers or meditate with those questions in your mind and witness what comes to the surface.

Once you've recognized and admitted that you're burnt out and you've done some self-reflection,

It's time to take a step back,

Take a break and make sure you're supporting yourself and prioritizing your self-care in order to begin to heal.

Prioritizing yourself,

Prioritizing self-care,

Prioritizing your needs are some of the answers to getting out of this burnt out state.

Where in your life can you carve out more time for yourself?

What it looks like to make more time for yourself will be specific to you,

But maybe that means yoga or solo walks in nature,

Journaling,

More meditation,

Going to bed earlier or sleeping in a little bit,

Going to therapy,

Taking yourself out to a nice meal,

Whatever it is,

You owe this to yourself.

You deserve it.

I also highly recommend revisiting my podcast episode number 20,

The science of self-care.

In that episode,

We talk all about how to help your body feel safe and how to support your nervous system.

And there are a bunch of helpful self-care tips in that episode,

All about how to support your body through stressful times and even tips to get a better night's sleep.

When we are burnt out and stressed and anxious,

Our bodies need extra care and support.

Our nervous systems,

Which have gone haywire when we're in this stressed out state,

Needs extra love and attention.

A huge component of healing from burnout is self-care,

Supporting our bodies and calming our nervous systems.

Just a few tools I'll list here to consider,

Perhaps some breath work,

Making sure you're eating enough,

Making sure you're getting ample minerals and electrolytes and making sure you're getting quality sleep.

Listen to episode 20 for more.

Another important component to healing from burnout that I want to talk about is presence.

When we are deeply present moment to moment,

We are not stressing about the past or worried about the future.

No matter how long your to-do list is,

Can you be present with each task in each moment?

Can you give whatever you are doing,

You are full attention.

And speaking of to-do lists,

Where can you delegate?

Where can you ask for help?

We don't have to push all the time and try to do everything ourselves.

We can lean into the support of those in our lives,

Our community,

Our friends,

Our families.

We can lean into the support of the universe and trust that things will work out when we honor ourselves,

Prioritize our needs and allow ourselves to slow down.

Where in your life can you delegate some responsibility?

Where in your life can you slow down,

Take a step back and incorporate more rest?

We've all been go-go going for too long.

We are each worthy just by being alive.

Our worth is not tied to how much we can do or accomplish or produce.

Our worth is not tied to how many tasks we can check off our to-do list.

We are worthy of rest.

We deserve rest.

We all need more rest.

In the old paradigm,

We were conditioned to believe we had to push and force and go,

Go,

Go and work hard all the time and try to control everything all the time and everyone had to fit into the same box and compete with each other and if you're tired just drink more coffee.

In the new paradigm,

There is vitality and life force sustainability and longevity and honoring our bodies and our needs and honoring the ebbs and flows of our energy.

In the new paradigm,

There is trust and flow and ease and abundance.

Less is more.

There is presence and embracing the unknown.

As Tricia Hersey from the Nap Ministry puts it,

Do less and watch how you thrive.

Because I promise you this,

Our highest timeline,

Our highest purpose,

Our highest paths require our vitality,

Require us to be in our power,

Require us to be connected to our bodies,

Minds,

Souls and intuition.

The new world needs each of us in our power,

Confident,

Standing in our worth,

Balanced,

Thriving and rested.

And that also means healing our burnout for good.

I'll share with you what's been coming up for me lately.

Once I accepted that I was burnt out,

I decided what I needed most was time and space and rest.

So I started taking one day off of work each week,

Only working four days a week.

So I had an extra day to focus on myself.

When I slowed down just this little bit and gifted myself that extra day during the week,

Immediately it became glaringly obvious how much I internally connected my worth with productivity.

I had internal resistance to resting.

It came up initially in the form of guilt and shame.

I felt guilty for not working on a weekday.

It almost felt like I was doing something wrong by taking a day off from work just to rest.

And I found myself still trying to be productive on that day off by cleaning and completing tasks around my house or doing stuff for this podcast.

Basically keeping busy and avoiding rest.

The very things that caused my burnout in the first place.

I realized I had this thing inside of me that needed to feel like I accomplished enough each day that required productivity that was pushing me to go go go each day.

This thing was a part of me ingrained in me.

And probably a big reason for my burnout.

This part of me I've come to realize is addicted to the grind addicted to the lifestyle I had been living which caused me to burn out.

And this part of me was rebelling against the change when I started to intentionally slow down.

I realized this part of me was very strong and a big source of my stress and anxiety.

I think maybe we all have this part in us to some degree.

I think this part of us grows from an early age and only gets stronger as we grow older.

It's our limiting beliefs.

It's our internalized societal expectations,

Our conditioning,

Our internalized capitalism.

I believe now in order to truly heal from burnout for good and break the cycle that keeps us in a loop of burnout,

We need to shine light on this part of ourselves.

We need to get to know this part of us.

We need to sit with and love this part of us.

We need to accept this part of ourselves.

And through bringing our attention to this part of ourselves and with the power of our intention,

We can let it stop running the show.

We can let it take a back seat.

We can then have more self-awareness whenever it tries to take the lead again.

And then we can consciously stop it in its tracks,

Say no,

And set boundaries with this part of ourselves.

I've been working on this myself now for about a month.

And the more time and space and rest I gift myself,

The more I can feel this part of me becoming less and less powerful.

I invite you to do the same.

If you were looking for a sign or permission to slow down and rest,

This is it.

What does rest mean to you?

I invite you to explore that for yourself.

Maybe rest means sitting on the couch and gazing out the window.

Perhaps you have a hot cup of coffee or tea in your hand to enjoy while you do this.

Maybe rest means taking more naps.

Maybe rest means daydreaming.

Maybe rest to you is reading a book.

Perhaps to you rest means watching TV or sitting outside or being with your pets.

Whatever rest means to you,

Gift yourself more of it.

You are worthy and deserving of rest just by being alive on this planet.

You don't have to do anything to earn rest.

You are a human being who is worthy of rest without any conditions or strings attached.

The next parts of healing from burnout for good that I want to talk about are boundaries and getting to know yourself on a deeper level and getting to know your energy.

We are all unique.

Our life force energies are all unique and each of our energies ebbs and flows throughout the day in unique ways.

Burnout partly results from pushing ourselves and not honoring the ebbs in our energy and trying to keep up with those around us all the time.

The biggest tool that helped me understand my energy on a deeper level was human design.

I talked about human design back in episode 16,

A new business paradigm part two.

So revisit that episode for more details on human design.

Understanding my human design chart helped me understand and begin to honor the ebbs and flow in my energy and helped me realize that I personally needed way more rest than I was giving myself.

And that's another reason for my burnout.

In order to heal from burnout and prevent future burnout,

We each have to honor the ebbs and flow of our energy each day.

That means taking a break and resting if our bodies are asking for that.

Another aspect of honoring our energy is beginning to recognize what drains us and what fills us up energetically.

This requires a deep level of self-awareness and connection to your body and only you can know what drains you and what fills you up.

But some examples of things that could be energy drainers,

Certain people and relationships in your life can be draining.

Our jobs can be draining or certain tasks at our jobs can be draining.

Doing things out of obligation can be draining and that means doing things you don't want to do.

Our own habits and patterns can be draining,

Such as trying to control the people around us,

People pleasing,

Worrying what others think of us,

Being judgmental of ourselves and others,

Negative self-talk.

All of these things can be energetically draining.

On the other hand,

Some examples of things that may fill you up energetically,

Perhaps your daily routine fills you up.

I encourage you to find those people in your life that light you up.

Maybe being creative fills you up like singing or dancing,

Painting or drawing,

Or maybe working with your hands fills you up.

Maybe a hot bath fills you up or playing with your kids.

Maybe eating a really good meal is what fills you up.

Where can you incorporate more joy and play into your days?

Where can you start saying yes to those things that fill you up energetically?

And where can you start saying no to those things that drain you?

The point is,

Part of healing from burnout and part of setting boundaries in your life is saying no more often to the people or places or situations and things that drain your energy.

And start saying yes more often to those things that fill you up,

That light you up,

That bring you joy.

Begin to notice this in your life.

Perhaps start a journal documenting your discovery journey to what drains you and what fills you up.

You owe this to yourself.

You deserve to fill your days with people,

Places and things that light you up.

Do more of what brings you joy.

Find more play in your days.

Connect to your inner child.

Part of learning to set boundaries is being willing to say no to those things that drain you,

Even if it's uncomfortable,

Even if other people don't understand.

Setting boundaries isn't easy.

But if we want to heal from burnout and switch the flip from surviving to thriving,

Strong boundaries are a necessity.

Strong boundaries also means being honest with yourself and others and speaking up for yourself.

It means we need to have boundaries at work.

We need to delegate more at work,

Say no more at work and prioritize work life balance.

Maintaining strong boundaries means becoming pickier about who has access to your precious energy.

It also means saying no to things you don't want to do.

It also means evaluating where your boundaries are being crossed and then reestablishing a firm boundary there.

A good place to start is to look at the areas in your life where you feel bitter or resentful,

Because that's a sure sign of a crossed boundary.

Maintaining strong boundaries also means looking at where you're giving your power away and calling back your power.

We talked about this back in Episode 21,

Embodying Your Power.

Boundaries are energetic.

So part of maintaining strong boundaries,

Part of healing from burnout and preventing future burnout is keeping up with your daily energy hygiene practices.

These have to be non-negotiable.

That means daily grounding.

We talked about grounding practices back in Episode 19,

Reconnecting with the Earth.

Those are things such as walking barefoot outside or visualizing a cord from your root chakra going down into the earth.

Daily grounding is a must.

Energy hygiene also means clearing your energy field and removing any energetic hooks,

Calling back your power where you've given it away and visualizing a bubble of protection around you to help maintain your boundaries.

I like to visualize my energetic boundaries as a fence that surrounds me and I visualize those people I'm interacting with throughout my day on the other side of this fence.

I promise you that these daily practices will help you heal from burnout.

Now the final stage in healing from burnout is figuring out what changes you need to make in your life.

There is no quick fix to healing burnout.

I wish there was.

But something has to change if you want to heal.

You can't keep doing what you've been doing and expect different results.

You can't take one day off and then resume all the same actions that led to burnout and expect to be completely healed.

You have to break the cycle with change.

Maybe that's a change in routine,

A change in your daily patterns.

Maybe setting strong boundaries in your job or in your relationship is the change you need to heal from burnout.

Or perhaps it's a change of job or leaving a relationship that is right for you.

One question to ask yourself,

Are you able to cure your burnout if you remain in the same place or situation that caused the burnout in the first place?

Only you can know the answer to that.

Someone asked me recently,

If their job is the primary thing causing their burnout,

How can they heal from burnout without quitting their job?

Or maybe you're in school and even though the pressures from school are part of the problem,

You want to continue on in school.

Maybe the more drastic change of quitting your job or leaving school or leaving your relationship isn't in alignment for you right now,

But you still want to take steps to heal your burnout.

I think the answer there is in little deliberate daily changes.

Forming new habits,

Incorporating new self-care routines,

Setting boundaries,

Prioritizing your daily energy hygiene practices,

More meditation,

Getting outside more,

Maybe hugging a tree every day,

Taking a walk on your lunch break.

The answer is also more rest and taking more breaks.

More time alone,

But also more time being with the people,

Places and things that bring you joy.

Play around,

Explore what works for you.

Explore what resonates and feels in alignment.

These daily changes done with consistency are part of the solution to healing burnout for good.

I believe in you.

We got this.

It's time to thrive.

The universe is calling us forward to our highest calling.

Trust yourself.

Trust your intuition.

Listen to your body.

Trust the universe has got your back.

As Tricia Hersey from the Nat Ministry says so beautifully,

Rest is a radical vision for a liberated future.

You are exhausted physically and spiritually because the pace created by this system is for machines and not a magical and divine human being.

You are enough.

Rest.