Sometimes anger doesn't feel like a choice.
It erupts,
It takes over,
And sometimes it leaves you completely disoriented afterward,
Mentally,
Physically,
And emotionally.
So I spent years studying consciousness and healing my nervous system,
But I'm often surprised how intense anger can feel in my body.
Recently,
I was working out one moment,
And the next I was dizzy,
Nauseous,
And emotionally flooded.
And it wasn't just about what happened in that moment,
It was about every time I've had to stay quiet to keep the peace,
Every time I swallowed how I felt so someone else would feel comfortable.
And that's when I realized that anger has a purpose in our consciousness,
And if we don't understand it,
We end up fearing or even silencing it,
Instead of letting it guide us back to what's true.
So I was doing a simple workout,
Nothing too extreme,
But I was already pushing through a challenging day where I was coming off caffeine,
I was recovering,
I was healing,
And then out of nowhere I saw someone who had once crossed a boundary with someone I love.
And my body instantly responded.
No thought,
Just adrenaline,
Heat,
Nausea,
Dizziness.
It wasn't just an emotion,
It was a full body shutdown.
But what made it more confusing is I didn't know what to do.
This person came near me,
They knew the person I was with and even said hi to them,
And I froze.
I was quietly suffering,
Unsure if I should say something,
Unsure what would happen if they spoke to me,
And I didn't want to embarrass anyone,
So I stayed silent.
That silence wasn't new.
It mirrored all the times I've had to suppress how I really feel just to make others feel comfortable.
So when the anger hit,
It wasn't just about the moment,
It was about everything that's been unspoken.
Anger became the one thing in me that refused to stay quiet,
Which is how anger works.
Anger isn't random,
It's not weakness,
And it's definitely not just about control.
It's a signal,
Some kind of boundary flare.
It's the part of your consciousness that says something important is being threatened here.
It's primal,
But not just primitive,
It's actually deeply intelligent because in consciousness,
Anger shows up when there's a disruption to integrity,
Whether that's physical,
Moral,
Emotional,
Or energetic.
It says,
No,
This is not aligned,
And this must be known.
So we feel anger when a core part of us,
Often a younger,
More tender part,
Feels unsafe or unseen.
Sometimes it's a current violation,
Other times it's an echo of something that's unresolved coming back up to be acknowledged,
But either way the nervous system doesn't distinguish the past from the present.
So when that anger hits,
It's not just emotional,
It's neurological,
It's hormonal,
Or it's energetic,
And if your system is already taxed,
Like mine was,
It doesn't have the buffer to even regulate that smoothly.
So the anger becomes overwhelming,
Sickening,
Dissonant,
And that's not you being too sensitive,
That's your body keeping the score.
So if you look at it spiritually or metaphysically,
Anger is a truth teller.
It's not just a reaction,
It's a clarifier.
It arises when energy is out of alignment,
When a pattern needs to break,
Or when something has been held in for too long.
Anger cracks open what's been repressed,
It creates movement,
It burns away falseness,
And it asks us to witness what we've avoided.
To reclaim something we've handed away,
Our power,
Our voice,
Our right to feel.
Anger isn't meant to be shoved down or unleashed carelessly,
It's meant to be heard,
To be held,
To be understood,
To be integrated.
We don't need to fear it,
We need to slow down enough to just ask,
What just got activated in me?
What part of me is trying to protect me?
What truth have I been swallowing?
Because anger in its most conscious form isn't about destruction,
It's about redirection,
A return back to wholeness,
A return to self,
A return to truth.
So if you felt anger rise and then felt shame or confusion after,
Pause here.
Your body isn't betraying you,
Your consciousness isn't failing,
Something inside you is trying to say,
This matters,
I matter.
And that's not something to be quiet about,
That's something to honor.
