Meditation On The Sense Of Self Behind Anger

We will start with a relaxation just to be able to settle ourselves down in our body and mind and we will do some meditation on the breath.

It is a simple practice.

Well,

Not really simple.

It is hard.

Hard to keep our mind focused even on a simple object like the breath.

But anyway,

That too is really helpful for calming down,

Settling down.

And that will be for about 10 minutes.

And then we will do a guided reflective meditation,

Reflecting on some topic related to the main subject that we are going through right now in these Sharing the Dharma days,

Which is how to work with anger.

And so we will do a reflection on that,

Which will be another 10 or 15 minutes.

So let us take a few moments to bring into our mind a really positive motivation or intention as our reason for being here.

So when the Buddha taught,

His motivation was to benefit all living beings.

So he had incredible compassion and love for all living beings throughout space,

Excluding anyone,

Even non-human beings.

He wanted to help every living being.

That was his reason for teaching what he had realized in his practice of meditation.

And I think that inspires a lot of people.

It attracts a lot of people to Buddhism,

This vast,

Unlimited compassion as we just recited in the prayer,

Wishing all beings to be happy and to be free of suffering.

So see if you can bring that feeling into your mind,

Into your heart.

Just try to feel how wonderful it would be if everyone,

Every being,

Could be free of the suffering.

Because nobody wants suffering.

Nobody wants to suffer.

Everyone wants to be peaceful and happy.

Try to feel how wonderful that would be,

If that could come about.

And then see if you can feel the wish,

The aspiration,

That you yourself could make a contribution to that,

To help bring about peace and happiness and freedom from suffering for all beings.

And then feel the wish that you can learn something here today that will help you make such a contribution.

So to prepare for meditation,

It's good to be as relaxed as possible.

Just check to see if there's any tension anywhere in your body.

Maybe in your head,

Or your neck,

Or back,

Shoulders.

And if you do notice any tension,

See if you can release it.

Sometimes just focusing your mind at that place and saying to yourself,

Relax,

Can let go of the tension.

Another helpful thing is to imagine breathing to that place.

So as you inhale,

Imagine the breath,

The air going to that place of tension,

And releasing it so that it disappears.

And now focus your attention,

Your awareness,

On your breathing.

Just let the body breathe as it normally does.

Don't try to control or change your breathing.

Just let your body breathe.

And then with your mind,

Your awareness,

Your attention,

Be aware of the breath coming in and going out.

And you can do that in whatever way works best for you,

Wherever you're able to feel the breath most clearly.

Just put your attention on that place.

And it can be helpful to kind of mentally verbalize the process of breathing.

Just say to yourself,

Breathing in,

Breathing out.

And you can count your breaths,

That helps to keep the mind more focused.

So you say breathing in,

Breathing out one,

Breathing in,

Breathing out two,

And continue counting.

If you're new to this practice,

Then it's probably good just to go up to five,

Count up to five,

And then you can start again at one.

If you have more experience,

You can count up to ten,

And rounds of ten.

You don't have to do the counting,

That's totally optional,

But it can be helpful to just keep your mind more focused on the breathing.

And anytime you notice your mind gets distracted,

Like another thought comes up or a sound,

So anytime your mind goes away from the breath to something else,

As soon as you've realized that,

Just let go of that other object and return your attention to the breathing.

So now for the reflective or contemplative part of the meditation.

In these sharing the Dharma Days events,

We're exploring anger and how to deal with it,

So that it doesn't cause so much and suffering to ourselves and others.

And one of the things that drives our anger is our sense of self,

Our I,

Me,

The ego.

And Buddhism asks us to question our sense of self.

Does it really exist the way we usually think it does?

So this is actually a very hard question to answer,

But even to start thinking about it,

Exploring it,

Is quite useful.

So bring to mind a recent experience that you had where you felt angry towards another person.

It doesn't have to be the explosive kind of anger where you're screaming and throwing things.

It could be just a low-level feeling of irritation,

Annoyance,

Being upset,

Being impatient,

Or even just dislike,

Aversion.

So take a few moments to remember such an incident.

You may have had numerous incidents of such feelings,

But just choose one.

So when we have such feelings,

We're usually focused on the other person,

What they're doing,

What they're saying,

Or what they're not doing that they should be doing.

And we're also focused on the thoughts we have in our mind about them,

The stories our mind is telling about them.

We don't usually focus on our sense of self,

The sense of I,

The I that is feeling angry and telling these stories.

So see if you can do that now.

Try to really remember that incident as clearly as you can.

And see if you can get a look at the I that is feeling angry,

The sense of I that's kind of behind or beneath the angry feelings,

The angry thoughts.

See if you can get a glimpse of that.

And if it's difficult to do this with that angry incident,

The incident of being angry,

Because that's past,

You may not be able to remember it that clearly.

You could also do it with the sense of I that you have right now,

The sense of I that is sitting here in this room with all these other people around,

Trying to meditate.

So see if you can catch a glimpse of this,

This I that is sitting here and trying to meditate.

And then ask yourself,

What is this I?

What exactly is it?

Is it something in the body,

Some part of your body?

So when you think about your body,

What your body is actually made of,

Different organs,

Bones,

Muscles,

Cells,

Atoms,

And so on.

Can you point to any of those body parts and say,

Oh,

That's me.

That's the I.

Or maybe the I is the mind.

But mind also has parts.

The mind is something that changes all the time,

Every moment.

So is there something within this ever-changing flow of thoughts,

Feelings,

And other experiences in the mind that you can point to and say,

That's I,

That's me.

So if you feel stumped by these questions,

Can't find something you can point to as being your I,

Don't worry.

It's actually okay.

It's actually good.

Because we usually feel that our I is something real,

Solid,

Concrete.

And most people never question that,

But just assume that the I does exist the way it appears to.

Real,

Solid,

Like concrete.

But maybe that's not true.

So it's good to just ask these questions,

To explore the sense of self or I that we have,

And it seems so real.

So I'd like to read something from the book that we're going through,

Working with Anger by Venerable Children.

According to Buddhism,

We do not have a fixed,

Solid personality.

What we label I is related to our body and mind,

Both of which are constantly in a state of change.

Physically,

The subatomic particles of our body are constantly in flux.

And mentally,

Our perceptions,

Moods,

Thoughts,

And emotions constantly change.

Since change is happening every moment,

Our challenge is to guide it in a productive way.

So if we can understand this,

How our body and mind are constantly changing,

How there's nothing permanent and fixed within us,

This can be very helpful in dealing with an emotion like anger.

Because it means our anger isn't something permanent,

Like a permanent fixture in our mind and our personality,

But rather something that comes and goes.

And it's the same with our I,

Our ego.

It's also not permanent and fixed.

We can see that for ourselves.

Sometimes we feel depressed,

Dark.

Other times we feel joyful and light.

Sometimes we feel anxious and confused.

Other times clear and confident.

Sometimes we're angry,

And other times we're loving and caring.

So it's actually wonderful that our mind is flexible,

Pliable,

Not fixed like a block of concrete.

And there are things we can do to shape our mind in ways that are beneficial and conducive to the peace and well-being of ourselves and others.

Let's just mentally dedicate what we've done so far.

Let's dedicate this to the peace,

Happiness and well-being of all living beings throughout space.

May it help them transform themselves and quickly reach the state of awakening.