Episode 148: 10 Actions To Skyrocket Your Self-Growth

Happy Tuesday you incredible human.

I am so happy to be here with you.

Thank you so much for tuning in today We are gonna talk about ten actions to skyrocket yourself growth and after you're done listening,

I would love to hear the tip that Really resonated with you the one that you were like,

Oh,

That's a good one I'm gonna apply that today you can join the conversation in the show notes on my website beautifully change calm or share in my Facebook community Which is also beautifully changed or if you really want to and you love Instagram find me on instagram at beautifully changed DM me there or join a conversation in a post and let me know What value you got from this episode?

I guess if you're feeling really spunky leave me a review It reviews our podcast gold so I would love that and you guys this is episode 148 How phenomenal is that?

I'm feeling really inspired and motivated to keep putting out helpful tips and great conversations That provide you value Because of the tips that are in them and I just want to remind you if you have a topic that you want to hear more about please let me know I want to make sure that you are getting value when you tune in and You are getting tips that you are applying to your life Hey there,

I'm Steph and I want to welcome you to the beautifully changed podcast This is where we explore how ordinary people do big things Welcome to your tipping point Okay,

Beautiful soul are you ready to Skyrocket your self-growth.

I'm so excited to share these 10 Action steps with you that will really help with your self-growth Invite more joy into your life because who doesn't want more joy,

Right?

Joy is like glitter Once you've made crafts without it and then as soon as you add it in you just had to have it,

You know Just in case something needed a little sparkle and joy is kind of the same way We just go through life without it going through the motions day to day Thinking it's good enough or this is as good as it's gonna get and then we sprinkle some joy in and we're like hot Dang,

This is awesome.

I'm sprinkling this stuff all over me and It sticks to you all day long and no matter where you go you leave a little behind and that's What we're gonna talk about today with this self-growth Because when you spend time and rich in your life and spending time on self-growth,

You know what happens more joy comes along for the ride and I really can't think of anybody who's like,

You know what?

I have I have enough joy in my life.

I've had enough.

I'm good.

I've hit my joy quota No,

We gotta keep that joy going.

We got to keep that joy engine Doing what engines do trucking along?

Okay,

So the first tip I want to share with you is to be more playful and silly For reals if this feels uncomfortable for you,

Then that is a surefire sign that it is so important that you start being more playful and Silly and I know this can seem like yeah,

I don't really know how that's gonna benefit my life But really take it from me.

I used to be so serious because That seriousness was kind of my survival mode.

It's how I Made it through life protected myself and that can sound like heavy words but really it's like protecting yourself from whether it's getting in trouble or the idea that somebody else might think of you in a way that maybe you're Kind of fuels that idea that you're not good enough or you're not attractive enough or people are making fun of you Or somebody laughed at you it can kind of trigger those Insecurities that are underlying that maybe nobody knows about so,

You know,

Even if on the surface you're like I got this You know you look so confident and calm but underneath you have some of those insecurities that can get triggered sometimes then Playfulness and being silly will really help distinguish those insecurities Okay,

Tip number two Make a list of ten big and small things that fill you up with those happy good peaceful inspiring uplifting energy and thoughts So once you have your list of ten things and when I say big or small It doesn't have to be like a vacation every day You know what?

I mean like for me starting my day with peppermint green tea or a matcha green tea Literally is so joyful for me.

And so I Like to make sure every day.

I have a green tea.

So that's a small thing for me,

Right?

So add Make your list of at least ten things.

You can definitely add more than ten some people have a hard time coming up with ten and so ten can feel like a push and So if you can add twenty add twenty my friend add a list Okay of things that really when you are doing these things when these are added to your day It adds in that peacefulness that calmness that joy that just feel good You know,

You know you feel like when it feels good to do something or you're excited to do something So make sure every single day of your life has at least one of those things right if it has more fantastic,

But make sure every day has at least one and Watch how that joy starts to grow The third thing this is one that people don't really want to do it feels really awkward and it's uncomfortable But it is truly life changing because you get to dive into layers of yourself,

You know Do you remember that movie Shrek where he's like,

I'm like an onion.

I have so many layers,

You know No,

We kind of see that metaphor everywhere.

So mirrorwork is the tip for number three do some mirror work take a week and every single day spent a few minutes,

Even if it's one minute for seven days and look yourself in the eye and Say some good things about yourself or acknowledge the pain that's there Acknowledge you give yourself that appreciation that acknowledgement that you need Acknowledge the hurt that you're feeling the pain that it just happened or Acknowledge the things that you've done that other people may not have noticed that you're kind of like Oh,

I wish somebody would have noticed that you notice it for you.

Do you know what I mean?

Give yourself a pep talk whatever you got to do just lock eyes with your awesome self and be with yourself for a moment and Be with all the emotions that come up even if it's uncomfortable be there be present fully with yourself and the awkwardness and the uncomfortableness and and the love and in the relief that we're kind of like that release that will happen and Just welcome it Do it seriously one minute a day for seven days You'll see a difference from day one Today seven even with just a minute now for the go-getters out there,

You know My overachievers the people who like to go the extra mile Do five minutes?

Do ten minutes You have At least a minute though,

So there's no one that I can think of that doesn't have one minute to spend doing this Okay number four Now we hear this all the time too,

But we hear it for a reason.

This isn't one of those just like oh Because it's you know catchy but it really is Powerful,

Which is gratitude.

So I want you to spend time thinking of things that are going well Do you know what I mean?

What do you have that helps your life?

Feel good be easier,

You know,

Like and these are things where people are like,

Well,

I don't have nothing's going right for me Are you in a house?

Did you eat food today?

Did you drink water?

Were you able to shower?

Do you have your limbs?

Do you have eyes ears?

Do you have your senses?

Do you have someone in your life that you can talk to or listen to that Inspires you or you feel gets you these are all things that you can be grateful for Do you know what?

I mean?

Like these are things that are going right that are going well So I want to encourage you to spend time and gratitude and you can create a gratitude practice that works for you The key is to make sure that you're diving into that Feeling of the gratitude like that you can fill it in your body for me I always fill it around my heart area in my chest and So for things for me when I'm really feeling it in my body It's from the chest up and it just feels warm and good So figure it out what it feels like for you And if you cannot find what gratitude feels like in your body That is a perfect explanation that this might be the practice for you to start doing Because I'm just saying you're probably not doing it enough You're probably not spending enough time in gratitude If you're not sure what gratitude feels like in your body or in your mind or if you're even struggling to come up with things To be grateful for then you need to be doing this number five your self-talk So this is all about retraining your brain to uplift you Instead of tear you down and this is where like those affirmations come into place or meditation Or all of those things and what's our mantras,

Right?

Self talk is so important because if you really tuned in to what you were saying about yourself all day Is it uplifting you or is it tearing you down?

So take control of that Don't let your mind just go wherever it wants to and treat you in a way that isn't uplifting to you Like make sure you're treating yourself and you're talking to yourself when no one else can hear you in a way That is uplifting you encouraging you supporting you being honest with yourself being real with yourself You know,

You could know that you need to improve on something without making yourself feel like you're a complete pile of poo Do you know what?

I mean?

Like you can uplift yourself and say you know what I can do this better I can approach that situation in a different way that feels better for myself That is real but it's also uplifting It's empowering to know that you can take control of little things in your life to make it work better for you So seriously,

Don't just throw yourself.

Talk to the side like no one can hear you Anyway with what you're saying so No one's gonna be like,

Whoa,

Mr Braggy Braggy here and who cares if they were really like feel good about who you are uplift yourself It's so important because a lot of those negative things in your mind You heard those from somebody else you heard somebody else say that to somebody else and you thought does that apply to me to or Maybe somebody said these really negative things to you you know and you and you believed it and so No,

I want you to believe the good things that people are saying about yourself And you know what if there is truth in that negative self-talk you're saying learn the skills to shift that so that it's no longer a truth and Number six this one I love and I think it's so important and for me when I did this myself It was so life-changing make an experience list Okay,

This is gonna include things that you just want to try or you want to do you're like,

You know what?

Like for me,

I want to go to Greece that's gonna be on my experience list Like that's something I want to have happen and this is also gonna be things that are big things and little things,

Right?

Like oh,

I want to try a different flavor of ice cream.

Okay,

Cool so have an experience list so that you get to know yourself more and Understand your likes your dislikes what speaks to you what inspires you all of that good stuff.

Okay So include stuff that scares you like when I did this back in the day going to the movies by Myself or going out to eat by myself or going to do anything by myself felt so Scary and embarrassing and I just couldn't imagine doing that so those are things I put on my experience list and like I fear of heights and so I took myself on a hot air balloon ride and You know doing different things that scared me but weren't necessarily like life-threatening.

Do you know what I mean?

So I Definitely did things that felt really uncomfortable And you know what?

I learned I was just fine I could do these things and I could be okay in it and an exchange of Facing those fears of facing those uncomfortable moments.

I was able to grow my confidence grew my insecurities Didn't grow they stopped growing they started to you know go away and my confidence and my just like knowing that I could do hard things it was like became a reality and Also,

You could add things on that you never got to do so even if it was you as a child or just a younger you that you never got to do and this could be something so simple like Spilled milk and didn't get in trouble for it.

Do you know what I mean?

Like so knock over your milk and be like,

Wow,

It's not that big of a deal I can just clean it up,

You know or color outside of the lines or I don't know Yell really loud in your house Jump up and down listen to your music really loud whatever it is that you didn't get to do that you felt a little bit of resentment towards or that maybe built this like The insecurities or the fears inside of you do those things So make an experience list and then start doing them regardless if anybody does them with you Do them number seven set boundaries okay,

The first time you set a boundary is going to be really scary and I understand that and you still need to do them Okay,

So people will not like it when you set a boundary.

Okay,

Because really honestly think about it Nobody likes to be called out.

Nobody likes to be told that hey something that you did hurt me and setting a boundary is Gonna be different for everybody.

So a boundary that feels right for you isn't one that's gonna necessarily feel right for anybody else But that's not the point.

The point is you have to do what is best for you Make the choices that are best for you and you have to tell the people that really matter to you in your life You know,

You got to teach them how to treat you and we do this by sharing with them what our values are What you know if we do have expectations of a friendship,

You know And so sometimes we can be like we hear a lot.

Oh don't have any expectations and there is truth to that but there's you know,

Also the reality that You want people to show up a certain way in your life if you're gonna invest time in them And so it's okay to share like hey,

This is what I really value in a friendship These are the things that I find really annoying or that really make me question our friendship stuff like that So setting boundaries are really important and it's okay to even say like hey,

That's that's not okay Or you know,

I'm not sure why you're treating me like that or let's talk about this Let's talk about what's going on right here,

You know and touching base with them too because you know Touching base with them too because if you're also gonna set boundaries You need to be able to have people set boundaries with you and respect those boundaries So boundaries are your friend Okay,

Oh And I think also the more you set boundaries the more you'll realize like as you go through this list of activities to do For your self-growth,

You're gonna discover more and more about yourself and you're going to Meet this new version of yourself that will inspire you and encourage you and give you The confidence and the courage to set boundaries and then you'll kind of discover that The more you grow the less boundaries you'll need to set because you're attracting in or inviting in or allowing space for people in your life that fit your values More if that makes sense,

Okay number eight Take time for yourself.

So I was just having a conversation with my friend Lindsey and she's actually gonna be on an episode later Where we talk about making the choice?

Because she made the choice to not have kids and she still feels very happy and fulfilled and one of the things she did and I love this because I do this myself and It was life-changing for me and it was life-changing for her.

So I know for you If you also do this,

It can really be so powerful so take time to yourself and ask yourself the hard question such as What do you need in life in order to feel happy?

What's important to you?

You know,

What?

Really when you close your eyes and think about it What is it that you want your life to be like to look like how do you want to interact in the world?

How do you want the world to be for you?

You?

Know and be really real in those questions and be honest with yourself and that's why you're doing it by yourself because It's easier to just take this time and not let other people influence your thoughts Because you're only talking to yourself in a sense when you're doing this and so giving yourself that time So whether that's taking a hike or walking out in nature or just going for a walk around your neighborhood Or meditating or going for a drive or whatever it is that you like to do a bike ride You know anything that gets you out of The busyness of life and allows you to just kind of dive into your thoughts and ask yourself questions and explore Number nine own all of you even the parts that others could reject or tease or say mean things about Because you know there's always someone out there who could say something that can be really hurtful,

And there's also People out there who are going to love you exactly as you are even the parts of you that you think are flaws They might not see as flaws.

They could see those as your strengths and the things that drew them to you So truly just practice Owning and accepting every part of who you are your shadow side Decides your your past that maybe you're sometimes feel a little embarrassed or even ashamed about That oh my gosh if anybody knew this about me.

They wouldn't be my friend anymore own that part of you to own all of you and Own the parts of you that feel good Feel good That make you unique that are your special things that you like light up that also draw people to you You do not have to play small you do not have to diminish your strengths or You know make them seem like they're not strengths to make other people more comfortable No,

Because the people that are your group the people that are Meant to be in your life long term.

They are gonna celebrate you and they're gonna love Your strengths and they are gonna be proud that you are their friend and that you are in their life and that they know you So don't play small in hopes of making other people feel comfortable Because that will only increase Your insecurities or those negative comments you say to yourself and that is not our goal my friend our goal is to decrease the insecurities And decrease that negative self-talk so you got to own yourself my friend own all of you and ten This is another big one,

But it is so so worth it forgive forgive yourself forgive those that have hurt you and and If you need help doing this like do some yin yoga my friend because yin yoga Can really help open you up and help your body release some emotions or do some breath work if you need some help with this because These are things that can really Shift everything for you and help with your forgiveness process.

So a couple things about forgiveness.

Remember it's a process And it's a decision It's for very few people will you ever wake up and say you know what I think it's time to forgive that person that really Hurt me that really destroyed my heart.

I'm just whoop I just feel like forgiving them everything just all of a sudden they finally earned my forgiveness That doesn't really happen.

So it happens instead is you say you know what?

I'm tired of not letting joy flow through me and instead I have this anger and this resentment and it just feels heavy and I'm feeling frumpy and I just don't like the way I feel I don't like This this isn't who I am.

This doesn't feel right So you got to forgive and when you replace all that anger and that resentment with forgiveness the process of forgiving it opens you up for the flow of joy and That really shifts everything for you and here's the other thing about forgiveness is Once you make the decision to forgive some days are gonna be easier some days are gonna be harder right some days It's gonna be like oh cool.

I'm not even thinking about that person or that injury anymore That wound has well,

It's not even a thought in my mind and other days It's gonna be really heavy and it's gonna get triggered a lot It's gonna get bumped by other people or your own thoughts or a situation that happened.

And so that's why it's a practice it's a process of forgiveness and Once you forgive someone They do not have to be a part of your life,

Right?

You can let that person go You can say you know what I forgave them,

But I just don't think they're a fit for me anymore or I'm a fit for them and I'm gonna forgive them and I'm gonna wish them joy for themselves and I'm gonna move forward in life and you can also forgive people and have them still be a part of your life and Witness how it strengthened your relationship and brought you to a deeper connection right,

We all want to feel connection and Not forgiving people is a block in the connection that we could experience in our lives so as soon as we start practicing forgiveness our connections Deepen And that is a beautiful thing,

Right and with deeper connections.

We have more joy.

We have more confidence So we just experience life in a completely different way So those are my 10 action steps To skyrocket your self-growth I Really do hope that you take at least one of these and apply it to your life starting today These are all things I've do myself and I gotta tell you I truly truly Have a lot of joy and happiness in my life.

I I don't just like Fake it till I make it I don't have on this like fake smile Like I literally have a lot of pain points in my life as well.

Like I've experienced the ringer you guys I know what pain feels like I know what loss feels like I know what disappointment feels like I know what it feels like To feel not good enough to feel like I can't be seen to be feeling like no one's gonna love me and You know just like I know what those feel like and I practice every single day Things that lift me up that feel good And so you know what even though I have those pain points in my life or I've experienced them throughout my life At the beginning and end and middle of every day.

There's joy Because I've cultivated that inside of me joy is inside of you as well Just as much as any other emotion your pain that's in you There's also joy and love right next to it.

So whichever one you're going to feed though Is the one that's going to grow?

So Nourish your joy Let your joy be an active part of your life By actively inviting it in and making sure that you're actively nourishing it,

Right?

So when you think about when you're hungry,

You can't just think about food and all of a sudden you're full Right,

You actually have to go and take the action of eating and making a choice of what you're going to eat And then your body responds to that choice,

Right?

Whether you eat junk food or whether you eat healthy whole food,

You're gonna feel you know You're gonna get full at that moment.

You're feeding your body,

But that is also going to Feed how your body feels right and so the same thing that pain and that Negativity that if you're focusing on that and feeding that that's like the junk food,

Right?

Or you can focus on the whole foods the joy and Feed that and watch that grow Maybe not the best metaphor,

But you get the point right?

You get the point feed your joy nourish your joy.

Let joy in and Do the actions so it can grow and as a reminder go ahead and do the actions So it can grow and as a reminder go ahead and leave me a review Join my facebook community and follow me on instagram.

Say hi Thanks for listening to today's episode Remember you're welcome to download share and subscribe As always you can connect with me through instagram at beautifully changed or through my blog at beautifully change.

Com I'm sending so much love and positivity your way Remember you are enough the world needs you and you make a positive difference Now go out there and create your best life Handshake by