Welcome to the Belief Breakdown meditation and visualization.
Just take a moment to get yourself comfortable in a seated position.
You can lay down on the floor or even on your bed.
Just make sure you're in a quiet environment that feels really comfortable and safe for you.
And I want you to take three deep belly breaths.
Just getting present.
And I want you to think about,
Take yourself back to your childhood.
Those moments when life was so playful and joyful and happy and carefree.
And,
You know,
Who you were with.
Maybe your siblings,
Your parents.
Maybe you remember your family pet.
You thought you could be whatever you wanted to when you grew up.
A doctor,
A nurse,
A mom,
A teacher,
A business owner.
You felt in that beautiful childlike way you could do anything.
And after you've spent a few moments in that place,
I want you to think about the moment when you realize that there was some challenge in life.
There was some difficulty.
Something presented itself that you all of a sudden became aware that there was an impermanence.
Maybe you had to move schools or move homes.
Or maybe your parents decided to separate.
Or perhaps it was just the first time you felt someone get angry with you or say something to you that was very memorable.
And as you're going back to this moment,
Try to bring in as much of the memory as you can,
Like what you were wearing or what room you were in,
Who else was there.
And when you think of either what was said or how you interpreted it,
I want you to think what emotion or understanding did it evoke in you.
If you were getting in trouble for something and someone was upset and yelling with you,
Did that mean that you were bad or you were unlovable?
If your teacher was disappointed in a mark or your grandparents told you that you were a brat,
Maybe a word was used,
What is this formative moment?
What was your understanding of it?
How did you interpret it?
And what meaning or belief did you create out of it?
What is the story that you've been telling yourself?
And this is truly from your childlike perspective.
And you create meanings to keep yourself safe so that you can understand.
And you can run through these in your mind with me right now.
And you can go through the workbook later.
Or you can pause if you'd like.
Whatever you find works best for you.
I'm going to talk you through some of the questions.
And if you want to keep your eyes closed so you can really feel your answers,
That's just great.
So when you have your moment,
What emotional states did you go to trying to manage the story?
So if you were a loud child and you were told nobody wants to hear you,
Does that mean that you had to go and hide away to be your real self?
Or did you just stop being loud and playful?
So how did you try to manage this story after you had that formative moment?
And after you get that emotional state that you tried to manage,
What could a new emotional state be out of this if you were to pick one or two?
What were your old coping mechanisms for this formative moment?
If you were told you were unlovable or that's how you felt,
Have you been trying to seek out love?
Maybe in unhealthy ways?
What could a new coping mechanism be?
One that will serve you?
And what past beliefs have you had out of this moment?
And what are some new beliefs you will have?
Once we find the pattern of the old belief and how we dealt with it,
We need to replace it with a new one so that you have a practice to go to.
Someone who didn't relate or develop a bond with one or both of their parents may have craved and desired the love and care that they didn't get.
Yet because it was so painful,
They may push away the love and care in their adult life.
Or they try to attract it in unhealthy ways because their belief was that they cannot be loved and cared for.
So this is an example of how someone might push away the exact thing that they're desiring because it's so foreign.
And it's what we call self-sabotage.
And your nervous system is doing the only thing it knows to keep you safe from the belief that you created a long,
Long,
Long time ago.
So have you developed a belief that isn't serving you?
And what can you do instead?
What is the new practice?
And can you honor the part of you that kept you safe when you were younger?
It served a purpose.
And you were very smart.
You kept yourself safe.
It's just that if we carry that belief on as an adult,
We don't need it,
And it doesn't serve us as an adult.
It certainly did as a child.
And you need to ask yourself,
Am I willing to let go of this old story if it doesn't serve me now?
And what will my new story be?
You might even want to write down what your new story is.
And if we weren't taught how to regulate ourselves,
Then we naturally become dependent on other people to do that.
So codependency is when we expect someone else to regulate us.
And again,
It's not your fault if you weren't taught.
But it's very important that you learn how to do this.
Some tools,
Aside from mind management,
That when you catch yourself,
That can assist you are breathing techniques like pranayama breathing.
And I'll go through a round with you right now.
You empty your lungs out completely.
And using your dominant hand,
I'll use the right hand for this exercise.
Take a deep belly breath in for four seconds.
And seal your right nostril with your thumb.
And hold for four seconds.
And breathe out through your left nostril completely for four seconds.
And then we breathe in and pinch off your nostril with your ring finger for a moment.
And fully exhale out of the right nostril.
And cycle back and forth for about ten rounds.
This stimulates the vagus nerve,
Which is one of the major ways we can balance and calm ourselves.
Chanting is another tool.
Chanting stimulates the vagus nerve,
Which is why OM is such a great example.
And it may feel a bit silly.
But all the reverberations are like a massage for your insides.
And you can try this in the shower or in private first.
And you can do it quietly.
You don't have to do it really loud.
But it feels so wonderful inside.
So I'm just going to give you an example of a quiet OM that you can do pretty much anywhere.
And there's another tool called grounding.
Which is walking around in the grass or dirt or whatever is in your yard,
In your bare feet,
Connecting with the earth.
And being present in a slow heel-toe walk.
It's also called earthing.
And even if you have to do this inside your house,
If you're just in your bare feet and you're present,
It's noticeable how calming it is.
So those are three techniques you can use outside of mind management for helping you self-regulate.
