This meditation,
Metta,
Is commonly referred to in the West as loving-kindness meditation,
And has its origins in Buddhism,
Where it's known as metta meditation,
Or metta bhavana.
And as is often the case when translating words into English,
Sometimes there is no exact word equivalent,
So we end up with something in the vicinity,
And with several interpretations.
The Pali word metta is an example of this.
Though it's commonly referred to as loving-kindness,
It's also translated as friendliness,
Goodwill,
And benevolence.
In fact,
The Pali language has another word for love,
Which is pema.
Now the reason I mention this is because words influence the way we feel,
And for some of us,
The word's loving-kindness can be a barrier to practice.
It may feel too much of a stretch to offer loving-kindness to everyone.
While goodwill may feel accessible,
Both are in the spirit of metta.
And it's important to understand that you don't have to love someone to wish them well,
You don't even have to know them.
We've all witnessed the suffering of people we don't know,
And people we don't necessarily love,
And wished they be free of suffering,
Wish them goodwill.
So I invite you to bring the spirit of goodwill to the practice,
Casting the net as wide as possible.
And this ties into a common misunderstanding of the practice,
Which is that we're supposed to feel a certain way,
That you need to feel warm and fuzzy,
And if you don't experience feelings of love and tenderness,
Then you're not doing it right,
That you can't do the practice or it's pointless.
While the practice may involve feelings of warmth,
It's primarily an attitude of well-wishing,
As we allow each phrase to anchor us in the practice.
The truth is our feelings are always shifting,
And meditation is no exception.
There may be times when you feel connected and deeply touched during the practice,
And times when you feel numb,
Apathy,
Even anger.
This doesn't mean you're doing it wrong,
It means you are human,
And to be human is to experience the full range of emotions.
When we notice a difficult feeling has arisen,
Can we bear witness to it,
Allowing it to be without judging it,
Bringing kindly awareness to it?
Remember it's a practice in opening our heart,
And for many of us this has become conditional,
Contingent on things being a certain way.
And this applies to our own self-compassion,
Our own self-acceptance.
I'll love myself when _____,
Fill in the blank.
I'll accept myself when xyz.
Many of us in the Western world have a strong inner critic,
And find it difficult to speak to ourselves kindly,
And to feel compassion toward ourselves.
We receive messages from society that you have to be the best,
Or you're nothing.
That good enough is not good enough.
And if left unchecked,
This can easily lead to feelings of unworthiness and comparing mind.
The good news is that practicing kindness or goodwill toward ourselves promotes self-compassion,
The antidote to the inner critic.
So we start the meditation by offering goodwill to ourselves,
Because when we can hold all the parts of ourselves,
Including the parts that are difficult,
With kindness,
We're more able to hold others in their wholeness with kindness.
We come to realise our common humanity.
If you have the willingness to show up and to observe what arises without making any of it wrong,
The practice will do you.
The last thing I'd like to talk to is the belief that it's wishful thinking that we're going to magically bring about happiness and peace in others.
This is a complete misunderstanding of the practice.
Yes,
We practice offering goodwill toward others,
But the practice works its magic on us.
In the same way that thinking ill will of others only hurts us,
The same principle applies.
Consciously thinking goodwill of others and ourselves directly helps us.
Ultimately,
The intention is to transcend our aspiration,
To cultivate an open heart by which our experience of life and everyone in it is transformed,
By which we realise our interconnection and interdependence with one another and all of nature.
As we become more tolerant,
As we become kinder and compassionate,
We impact everyone around us.
This is supported now by the emerging science which shows,
Amongst other things,
That metameditation enhances social connectedness and decreases social isolation and implicit bias.
So I invite you now to be guided by your own experience as you make your way into the meta goodwill practice.
