Transcend Human Suffering; Go In - To Get Out

We don't suffer over hitting our hand with a hammer.

We suffer over the mental commentary that comes afterwards.

Now,

If one is so convinced that they are suffering over the experience of hitting their hand with a hammer,

Then they blame the hammer.

And in blaming the hammer,

It's literally like saying,

Hammer,

You're making me think I'm not enough.

You're making me believe that.

Hammer,

You are responsible for my suffering.

That puts you in a dilemma that will offer no liberation to your suffering.

In fact,

It ties you to your suffering because you're powerless.

You're suffering because of something outside of yourself.

Episode 29,

Transcend Human Suffering.

Go in to get out.

And right off the bat,

I feel like we need to clarify suffering in the context that I'm pointing to it.

And one of the ways we can clarify this and kind of get over a bunch of confusion is there's a profound difference between suffering and pain.

And so often as human beings,

We confuse the two.

An illustration that I feel points to this very directly and quickly is if you hit your hand with a hammer,

There'll be pain.

The suffering is what happens the following week,

Thinking you're an idiot.

And if you pay attention to our experiences of pain,

The most painful part about pain is the stories we wrap around the pain.

These stories amplify the pain.

And then these stories blame the pain for our stories about the pain.

And this just creates a world of suffering.

Whereas if you hit your hand with a hammer and you just be present with the pain,

You recognize it's not a big deal at all.

It makes sense that it's there.

There's an alarm going off that says,

Hey,

Pay attention to this.

And so you can be there with it,

Allow it to be what it is.

Without all the commentary and the stories which resist,

Argue,

Push away and turn it into something that it's not.

In the experience of suffering,

You'll find 10,

000 different flavors.

Suffering can be expressed as anxiousness,

As frustration,

As grief,

Loss,

All manner of things.

And the real difficulty in being human is not the encounter of pain.

It's not the encounter of life doing this,

That,

Or the other.

The real crux of the problem is suffering.

The real crux of the problem is suffering.

And the spiritual invitation since the beginning has in effect been an invitation out of suffering,

Attempting to bring clarity to what suffering is,

Even though I often feel it's quite cryptic.

But this is the real challenge.

The challenge isn't in life,

Even though that's part of the confusion of suffering,

Thinking that I'm suffering because of what's happening in life.

Will you take a moment and quickly,

But sincerely,

Take a look at the experience of suffering in your own life,

In all those different flavors.

And I wonder if in our examination of those things,

If we can recognize a commonality within every experience of suffering.

And what I mean by commonality is regardless of why you think you're suffering,

Again,

Why you think you're stressed,

Anxious,

Frustrated,

Depressed,

In all of those stories,

There's an underlying story that gives rise to all those other stories.

It's like there's a primary assumption that happens first.

And understand,

Once again,

I'm attempting to use words to point to this.

And so don't cling to what I'm saying,

But see what I'm pointing to.

In the spirit of that,

In the spirit of that,

Can you recognize that underneath all the suffering,

There is a declaration that either says,

I'm not enough,

Or I'm missing what I crave.

The fear of not being enough,

The perception that I am not enough,

Or I don't have what I want.

And if I had what I want,

Then I wouldn't be suffering.

Right?

So you have that fundamental premise in the example of hitting your hand with a hammer.

The suffering would be thinking you're an idiot,

Thinking that you're not enough,

Thinking that if only this or that,

Then you wouldn't be an idiot.

Or thinking that because you hit your hand with a hammer,

Now you can't do what you're supposed to do,

Which is missing what you crave,

Missing what you want.

And this perception can drive one into a dark hole of inadequacy and unworthiness.

And recognize here in all of those flavors of suffering within the human experience,

All the different stories that could be told.

They are all extensions of that one story.

And I feel like this is monumental to understand.

We don't suffer over hitting our hand with a hammer.

We suffer over the mental commentary that comes afterwards.

We don't suffer over what happens in life.

We suffer over our stories about what happens in life as it relates to who we think we are,

Not being enough.

Now,

If one is so convinced that they are suffering,

Over the experience of hitting their hand with a hammer,

Then they blame the hammer.

And in blaming the hammer,

It's literally like saying,

Hammer,

You're making me think I'm not enough.

You're making me believe that.

Hammer,

You are responsible for my suffering.

Hammer,

You are responsible for my suffering.

That puts you in a dilemma that will offer no liberation to your suffering.

In fact,

It ties you to your suffering because you're powerless.

You're suffering because of something outside of yourself.

And so it's up to that something outside of yourself to rescue you from suffering.

Which essentially is saying is,

Dear hammer,

Don't be a hammer,

Then I won't suffer.

Dear life,

Don't be life,

Then I won't suffer.

Furthermore,

This assumption keeps you at a great distance from the real opportunity of what we might call transcending suffering.

And the title,

Transcend human suffering,

Go in to get out,

Also needs further clarification about the pointer of transcending suffering.

And this is a great clarification about many things.

So often,

Because the human being is determined to believe in past and future,

It assumes that these spiritual pointers are about the future.

Meaning,

That if the spiritual pointer is to transcend suffering,

The mind interprets that in such a way,

Where it assumes that you can transcend suffering in the future.

Like,

Let's figure out the method so that in the future you won't suffer.

The human being,

In relationship to their life,

Thinks it's about their dream of life,

Past and future.

The human being thinks that insight and wisdom is about a life they only imagine to exist,

Past and future.

And it completely misses the real opportunity,

Which is that all spiritual pointers,

Teachings,

Speaks to reality.

It speaks to life that's real and true.

And that life is happening right now.

And so when there's a pointer to transcend suffering,

It's not talking about transcending suffering tomorrow.

It's not talking about your future.

It's talking about right now.

So these pointings in these invitations,

They're an invitation into presence,

Into now.

How does this pertain now?

What does this show me now?

And in those simple words,

Transcend human suffering,

In the context of past and future,

We can think,

Oh,

It means that I will never suffer again,

Implying future.

When again,

Really,

It's a signpost for the present moment that invites you out of any suffering that might be showing now.

The good news is,

As you develop the skill set of transcending present moment suffering,

Then by default,

It is a skill set that develops and you bring with you into the next moment.

But it's not about the next moment.

I guess that's a disclaimer to not use this time to try and figure out the rest of your life.

But just go with me into the depth of this moment and see what's real and true.

Let's look at the fundamental struggle that we have with suffering and why that struggle seems to be an impossible game being played.

And at least to me,

My goodness,

This is just so fascinating to see.

The fundamental assumption is that I'm suffering because of what's happening.

And we can look at the adorable innocence of our human beings and see that we are suffering because of what's happening.

And we can look at the adorable innocence of our human that believes this.

Right?

You can say,

Oh,

I'm stressed and I'm stressed because X,

Y,

Z.

My feelings are hurt because of X,

Y,

Z.

I'm feeling as I do because of what's happening in the world.

And so it's coming from out there.

And if that is the assumption,

If that is the belief,

The only logical thing to do is try and change that out there,

Which ends up being some form of control over that which you perceive as separate from yourself,

Which ends up being a statement that reflects,

I'll love you if.

.

.

Right?

I'm suffering and it's because you're not doing what I want.

So I'll love you if you do what I want so that I don't suffer.

And I want to ask you a question.

Some of you know what I'm going to ask.

How's that going?

It's interesting because at times it looks like it's working.

But what really happens is we build a collection of things to control.

We build a collection of things that we have to look after to make sure they're doing what we want so that we don't suffer.

And we ultimately end up suffering over trying not to suffer.

And this is simply because it's completely ass backwards.

You're going about it in a way that does not reflect the truth of what's actually happening.

And in the title,

I say,

Go in to get out.

In this insane approach,

We can see that we're going out to get in.

Right?

We're trying to change that something out there in order to change our internal experience of suffering.

To bring further clarification to the phrase transcend suffering,

I feel like there's a more direct and softer way to say that,

Which is very simply understand suffering.

Because the more you understand suffering,

Then the suffering resolves itself.

To transcend suffering,

To understand suffering,

Is not something to be done.

To do something,

Again,

Implies that it's on the outside where doing happens,

Which also implies that the transcendence is in the future.

And if the issue was understanding suffering,

Then clearly the invitation is to be still and listen and see what's actually happening.

And as one opens up a space within themselves to see what's really happening,

Then the confusion which energizes the suffering begins to unravel itself.

And the intensity of suffering slowly decreases.

It unwinds.

There's a point to be made here,

Which partly illustrates why it's so difficult to understand suffering,

Why it's so difficult to listen to your suffering,

Which I guess in a way speaks to why it seems to be difficult to transcend suffering.

And that is because the human being is confused about what it wants.

And again,

We can look at this compassionately without any judgment.

We can recognize that in a very innocent and adorable way,

Your human thinks that it wants something in the future.

Your human being thinks,

If only this,

If only that,

Then I could be free.

Do you see this list that you might have?

Where fundamentally there's a belief in this list,

Whether it's more money,

Whether it's a relationship partner or a relationship partner that does what you want.

It could be 10,

000 different things,

But there is the conditioned assumption that really feels like your savior is in the future.

Furthermore,

It believes your enemy is in the past.

And so the human being runs from yesterday toward tomorrow,

Completely missing a reality of now.

And beyond all this commotion in the mind that thinks you want something in the future,

The spiritual invitation has been trying to get you to see that what you actually want is right here and now.

What you actually want,

You already have it.

You just don't see that you have it.

And because you don't see that you have it,

You suffer.

If transcending suffering is understanding suffering,

Then the invitation of getting out of suffering is to go into suffering.

You want to know something fascinating?

Can I tell you something?

If there's anything in you that rejects your experience of suffering,

That sees it as a problem,

That judges it in any way,

You can't actually understand it.

Furthermore,

And on the same note,

If there's anything that judges what you are,

That rejects any aspect of yourself,

That wants it to be different,

You can't truly understand what you are.

To have any flavor of rejection says,

I don't want to understand you.

I don't want you to be what you are.

I want you to be what I want.

To truly understand something,

You have to completely allow it to be what it is.

You have to let go of it.

Do you see that?

With the conditioning in our humanness that's convinced what you want in the future,

We see suffering and 10,

000 other things as in the way of what we want.

And with the intensity of belief that you want to fulfill your list,

You're not open to understand.

Which is really interesting because it's like in my experience with working with people.

And when I talk to them,

Part of what I'm looking for is their own degree of sincerity about what they really want.

And it kind of guides me in how to guide them.

It's like,

Do they really know what they want?

Or do they still think they want something in the world?

And sometimes there's such a belief that they want something in the world that I'm just the wrong person to talk to.

And so there's an encouragement to just keep chasing.

And then when you get utterly exhausted and can't find it,

And you're willing to look with brand new eyes,

Then maybe we can talk.

But if you're talking with me as a way of trying to figure out how to get to the future,

I'm not the guy.

Just as with life,

When you deeply understand life,

And this speaks to understanding many different aspects,

But also just the same thing.

There's some sort of heart-based recognition that everything just makes sense.

There's nothing to fight.

There's nothing to control.

And in this is a vast release of resistance,

Which is suffering.

It's like one recognizes,

Oh,

I don't need to resist this.

I don't need to wrestle with this.

And in the release of that resistance,

Suffering is no longer necessary.

And just like with the experience of suffering,

As you understand more and more clearly that that what you're suffering over isn't in life,

But it's suffering over mental commentary.

And you see that deeply.

With that comes this invitation to just surrender it all,

To release that something that you're fighting for in the mind,

To release the idea that you need xyz in order to be worthy.

I invite you to see the traditional approach is one of trying to get away from suffering.

And we've become masters at finding ways to run away from suffering,

Not that it works.

It seems to work at times.

And again,

Like as a playful example,

You could be stressed and anxious,

Suffering,

And you find out that if you take this pill,

You won't experience the stress and anxiety.

And we think,

Oh,

That fixed it.

But did it really fix the misunderstanding that gave birth to stress and anxiety?

No.

All it did was help you in your journey of getting to the future where you will not find what you're looking for.

There's such a beautiful invitation to go in,

To get out.

And again,

From one perspective,

It's scary to go in because to go in,

One must surrender what they're wanting.

Right?

Because again,

We see the suffering is in the way from what we want in the world.

And if we go into the suffering,

If we meet it,

We have to let go of what we want.

We have to be open to the possibility that maybe that's not it.

We have to start over.

This is why I really invite you to get profoundly honest about yourself,

What it is you're looking for in this life,

Which is very different from how do you want to play in this life?

Because you see,

As human beings,

We've confused this.

The future,

Which is imagination,

Is a function of play.

To imagine in creative ways.

But that has nothing to do with finding a prize.

That has nothing to do with connecting with reality.

That has nothing to do with resolving a perceived separation from the truth of what you are.

And if you are playing in the imagination,

Separate from the truth of what you are,

Separate from life,

Then in your imagination is just going to be suffering.

Suffering because you're trying to find the truth of what you are in the imagination,

In the future,

And it's not there.

And so again,

The spiritual invitation is to see what you really are,

And then go play.

I really invite you to read the pre-broadcast reflections,

Specifically for this episode number 29.

29 because it spoke very directly to this topic.

I think it was like 1300 words.

Oh yeah,

Here's a part from the pre-broadcast reflections that I thought was just so on point.

Transcending human suffering is the present moment experience of realizing that you are not really suffering.

I say it this way as a matter of pointing,

Inviting you to see something profound.

The intensity of suffering we experience revolves around our identification with the suffering.

Maybe more accurately stated as suffering is a dream where the character of you is disconnected from what you crave,

Missing something that appears to be vital for a sense of wholeness.

Underneath all suffering is a perception that sees yourself as not enough,

Or sees yourself as undeserving of love.

There is an intensity of belief that you are this character that's lacking something,

And that what you imagine to be happening to you,

The stories being told,

Are actually happening to you.

Yet,

The stories and meanings being believed in don't actually exist outside of your belief about them.

In other words,

You're creating something that doesn't really exist,

And then believing in ideas that you don't actually believe in.

You're creating something that doesn't really exist,

And then believing in ideas that you don't actually believe in.

You're creating something that doesn't really exist,

And then believing in ideas that you don't actually believe in.

You're creating something that doesn't really exist,

And then believing in ideas that you don't actually believe in.

You're creating something that doesn't really exist,

And then believing in ideas that you don't actually believe in.

And then try to resolve the suffering in the dream.

This is also like dreaming about monsters and then trying to run away from the monsters in the dream.

The running away from the monsters only validates the monster's existence.

The running away says it's real.

The act of trying to escape reinforces the idea that you're trapped.

Any questions?

If so,

I can take a moment to speak to that,

And then we will drop into the guided meditation.

And if no questions,

We'll just hang out.

Miki says,

What if suffering,

What if the suffering is that I'm not enlightened enough to handle my situation without suffering?

That's super cute.

Then I would re-examine what one thinks enlightenment is.

But again,

Even in that playful analogy,

One's focused on the fact that I'm not enlightened one's focused on the future.

Right?

I'm suffering over my potential suffering tomorrow,

Which is silly.

We are going to drop into a guided meditation for 5 minutes and 18 seconds.

Let's go.

Welcome to this moment.

Let's hang out together for about 5 minutes.

I wonder if we can connect with a space that totally and completely allows yourself to just be.

Let's just be here.

Can we recognize the dream for the dream?

Whatever it is you might appear to be suffering about,

Can we see just how much it's wrapped up in the mind's content,

In all the stories,

In all the stories of the past?

Not that we have to add more thinking to it,

But just see that.

Behind all of those stories,

All of those excuses,

All of that blame,

Can you see that in the most innocent way,

There's simply an aspect of yourself that's scared?

Can you see that this aspect of yourself that's scared feels disconnected from the truth of what you are?

Can you see that this aspect of yourself believes that you are the character in your dream?

Can we invite that aspect of yourself back into this moment?

Where what you are is not missing anything.

Let us breathe into the reality of this moment.

Let us breathe into the reality of this moment.

Let us breathe into the reality of this moment,

Into the truth of life.

Let our breath guide us back home and breathe in the aliveness of this moment.

Hold space for yourself,

Dear one.

Hold space for yourself in a way that allows your human to have a human experience,

But yet there's a deep and sincere part of what you are that knows everything's okay,

That knows it's all just a dream.

Thank you for meditating with me today.