And Then What – A Meditation On The Now

Dear friends,

I was speaking to someone the other day,

The person seemed uncomfortable and uncertain about what might lie ahead in their life.

This person had studied hard,

Obtained qualifications,

Was a happy parent,

They had a secure home of their own and they had the gift of holding a responsible job.

In the course of the conversation,

It became clear that the person was looking with gratitude at the past,

Enjoying reasonable comfort in the present,

But was concerned at the fact that there was no clear-cut,

All-consuming target ahead.

The conversation reminded me that in my own life and in the lives of many people I know,

We seem to be kept going by the idea that tomorrow will be brighter than today,

Provided a wheel entitled,

If only,

Continues to turn.

But always,

In the back of our minds,

There hovers the troubling question,

And then what?

It's as if we are on a train journey,

Holding our breath in anticipation of the next station ahead and the next station after that,

Watching out for the stops along the way,

But forgetting to enjoy the journey as we travel along.

I have a little stone in my living room,

And the words appearing on the stone are,

Life is a journey,

Not a destination.

I need to keep remembering these words.

These thoughts are the prompt for this meditation entitled,

And then what?

I invite you to sit with me now,

Make sure you're sitting comfortably,

And become aware of the life-giving air as you simply breathe in and out.

Allow your shoulders to drop,

You know how we can go around with our shoulders held tight.

Relax your face and your forehead,

Let your hands relax.

Allow yourself to sink into the chair or onto the cushion on which you are supported.

Welcome to the here and now.

Let's allow ourselves a one minute pause.

Welcome back.

There comes a moment in each of our lives when we are slightly troubled by a question which has been lodging quietly under the surface of our minds.

The question,

And then what?

The question doesn't come to us in a demanding tone.

It doesn't accuse us of wasting our time up to this point,

Even if we have been guilty in that respect.

It simply pops up and appears on the surface of our minds.

Sometimes it slips under the surface again,

But it never really goes away.

The discomfort caused by this question prompts us to look back over the years and recall earlier days and times.

In my own case,

I remember entering into a three-year apprenticeship and living for the day when it would end.

In anticipation,

I ordered,

And I still have,

A marble tile with the end date printed in Roman numerals.

Looking back,

I see that the anticipated end date,

That so occupied my mind for three years,

Is now more than half a century past,

And I question those three years spent looking forward.

Now for your reassurance,

I can tell you that this is not troubling me at all at this stage.

I just had to share this story with you in the context of this reflection.

This daydreaming about the future might be an experience shared by many of us.

You know how it goes.

Life will be so much better when I achieve this.

Life will really begin when I have this project behind me.

I can't wait until I get this bigger house,

Or that better car.

Life will be wonderful when I secure this job,

Find a partner,

When I have a child,

When I get the child through college,

When I retire.

It seems to be the case of tomorrow and tomorrow.

Shakespeare put it this way in his play Macbeth.

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day,

To the last syllable of recorded time.

And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty debt.

Apologies for the morbid last sentence,

But the tomorrow and tomorrow illusion is worth remembering.

Let's have another pause for reflection.

Sixty seconds in which we can give thanks for the fact that we are here.

Here we are,

Alive in this present moment.

Welcome back.

We are reminded of the futility of living in tomorrow land,

In a universe where life comes to us one day at a time.

This is not to suggest that it's wrong to plan and hope for the future.

We have to work today to bring about the future life we desire,

And that work involves necessary planning.

But working and planning are very different from daydreaming.

The danger is that we can fall into that tomorrow trap.

We fail to live to the full right now,

While we await the arrival of other and what we believe will be better circumstances.

And of course at the end of all the target dates,

There is still the troubling question,

And then what?

This brings my mind to a quote from Saint Augustine.

You have made us for yourself,

O Lord,

And our hearts will find no rest until they rest in thee.

Now the much used and abused word God carries images which fail to resonate with some people.

We naturally have difficulty with a term designed to describe something which by its nature has to be outside the possibility of definition.

But call it what you will,

God,

The ultimate,

That which gave rise to our existence and to which we will return in due course.

There seems to be a God-sized hole in our lives which is constantly calling out to be filled,

And we never seem to have the material with which to fill it.

Experience teaches us that it cannot be filled by material things,

Cars,

Houses,

Money,

Status,

Or even by people,

However good and kind and well-meaning.

It seems it cannot be filled by achievements,

Regardless of the effort which we put into achieving.

Like the event horizon around a black hole,

We find the words,

And then what,

Engraved in bright lettering around the hole which appears at the centre of our lives.

Time for another pause for reflection now,

Before we consider and then what.

Welcome back again.

When we approach it mindfully,

We begin to recognise that the hole which we saw as a dark emptiness is in fact something more tangible.

It turns out to be a sea of possibility,

A place where we can sail to places unimagined,

In a good ship which is fuelled by our acts of kindness in the present moment.

Stepping on board this ship,

We see that the living present,

This precious minute,

Is not a stepping stone to somewhere else.

The present moment is a place where the love which we show,

And the concern which we feel,

Brings about an enduring happiness.

Someday is not a date on any calendar.

Someday is an illusion that steals our todays.

So now let's bring ourselves back to this present moment,

And allow ourselves to rest in the here and now.

Let our breathing become a prayer,

Breathing in this moment,

And breathing out our tendency to live outside this moment.

Another one minute pause.

Welcome back again.

We must abandon any idea that our lives are incomplete until everything aligns.

The wonderful fact to notice is that everything has already aligned.

We are here,

Now,

And this is an unimaginable gift,

A miracle.

Today is an unimaginable gift.

So today let's set out on that ocean of longing and possibility,

That ocean that washes in and out in the hearts of all of us.

As we sail along,

Let's check off some of the outstanding items on the to-do list.

The letter of thanks we meant to write.

The overdue apology.

The offer of reconciliation and forgiveness.

All the things that we've classified under the heading,

Someday.

What day is it?

It's always today.

What time is it?

It's always now.

Why have we stored away the fine china,

The special drinking glasses awaiting a celebration grand enough to deserve it?

Our existence here today is reason for celebration enough.

There's no need for us to fear living in the present.

Living in the present doesn't mean that you will become complacent or that you'll stop striving for a better tomorrow for all of us.

Presence doesn't mean complacency.

Presence is the centre out of which our activity and our contribution to the world proceeds.

As we look out on the world from our window of life,

We see so much to be done.

Abundance to be shared.

Equality and the dignity of all to be promoted.

A climate to be preserved.

And a planet that can be turned into a paradise.

The actions required of us are not actions of tomorrow.

They are actions of today.

And they put this question to us.

If not you,

Who?

If not now,

When?

Namaste.

Namaste.