Hi there,
This is Vanessa Loder,
And today we'll be doing a practice to let go of the past and to help heal and give compassion and love to some of the wounded parts of yourself.
So start by sitting comfortably on the floor in a chair,
Allowing your eyes to gently close.
Begin to tune into the breath,
Noticing the rise and fall of your chest or belly as you inhale and exhale.
Starting to tune into how the body is feeling today,
Noticing any areas of tightness or tension,
Perhaps sending your breath to any areas that feel tight or tense.
And today we'll be spending some time visiting your own inner child,
The little girl or the little boy that you once were,
So that you can comfort them and give them whatever it is that they most want and need.
So to begin this technique,
Start off by thinking of a memory from your childhood,
Something that was perhaps a little difficult.
If you haven't done this type of work with your inner child before,
I suggest you choose a simple memory,
Not the most difficult past experience,
But something that was just slightly difficult,
Perhaps someone teasing you in school or a minor example.
It can feel triggering to some people to do this work in the beginning.
If that's the case,
You can either end the meditation early and come back to it at another time or choose an example that feels less triggering,
Or you can always float above the scene and watch it from above,
Feeling as though you are more of an observer.
So take care of yourself and do whatever works for you today.
And now as you call that situation to mind,
Perhaps you were disappointed by someone or you didn't get the attention or the love or the recognition that you wanted.
As you remember this situation,
I'd like for you to just see if you can notice how old you were.
How old is the part of me that feels hurt right now?
I'd like for you to take a moment and imagine or visualize how old you were and see your childhood home,
Wherever you were living at that age.
Maybe you were three or five or seven years old.
And now imagine that you are that little girl or that little boy and you're in your childhood home and you're really upset.
You're sad or you're angry.
Someone has let you down.
Something hasn't turned out the way you wanted it to.
I'd like for you to let yourself throw a complete tantrum.
See yourself in your childhood home,
Just getting really upset.
Let that little kid throw a tantrum.
So start destroying things in the house.
You can take,
You know,
Vases off the shelf and smash them on the ground.
Take plates and smash them on the ground or slash the pillows on the couches or the beds.
Jump on the beds and rip open the pillows.
Let the feathers fly everywhere.
Maybe take a hammer or a rock to the windows.
Throw a complete,
Totally destructive tantrum and just let yourself do it.
Let yourself be as angry or upset as you want.
See yourself throwing this tantrum,
Ripping things up,
Crashing,
Breaking things on the ground.
Give yourself a little more time to just destroy whatever you want and throw a total tantrum.
Maybe you're a teenager and you want to drive the car straight into the garage with the door closed,
Right into the garage door.
Be as creative as you'd like.
As you're doing this,
You can also be imagining that you're saying something like,
This was not okay.
I'm angry.
I'm upset about this.
You let me down.
I didn't get what I wanted.
I'm mad at you.
This is not okay.
If you'd like more time,
You can pause this recording and continue to throw a tantrum until it feels complete.
When you're done,
You can imagine yourself walking out of that house.
If you want,
You can even light the whole house on fire and walk away.
Walking out of that house,
Down the street,
The driveway or the sidewalk.
Now I'd like for you to visualize or imagine that just down the road,
There's another house,
Another home that's waiting for you.
Inside this home are all of these beings who love you so much.
These could be angels and spirit guides or loved ones who have maybe passed over or transitioned or a mentor of yours.
They're all waiting there to greet you.
This home is a safe,
Loving place.
Every one inside,
All of the beings who are there are waiting to greet you with so much love and warmth and acceptance.
You walk down the path to that door.
Before you can even knock on the door,
The door opens and you're greeted by these beings of love.
This home is filled with beings,
With people who love you so much and who want what's best for you.
It could be a grandparent who always cherished you and who's no longer around.
They greet you at the door and they say,
Welcome home.
Welcome home.
We're so glad you're here.
Thank you for coming.
And they usher you inside and they immediately give you hugs and love and put a warm blanket on your shoulders.
Perhaps if you're feeling cold or upset,
They sit you down by the fire,
Bring you your favorite drink,
Maybe a big steaming mug of hot cocoa,
Putting your feet up.
You're just surrounded by so much love and warmth and acceptance.
And everything in this home is designed for you.
So after you've settled in,
They walk you around for a tour and show you how they've set up all of these rooms with your favorite things.
If you like to paint,
There's a whole room with canvas and all your favorite paints,
All the colors you could imagine.
If you like to play music,
Maybe there's a room with instruments just waiting for you or there's a play room or a dance room.
Let them show you around the house now.
Show you how they've filled it with some of your favorite things.
And you feel so happy,
So loved,
So supported.
And they turn to you and say,
What do you need?
What do you want?
Take a moment to think of what you want.
Tell them and see them giving it to you now.
Perhaps what you want is to feel loved or for someone to give you a hug or to bring you a special toy or a game,
To have your friends over and have a party.
Whatever it is that you want,
You tell them and they give it to you just like that.
You can stay in this home as long as you'd like.
Spend as much time there feeling so loved and supported.
So after the bell rings,
If you want to stay there for a little longer,
Feel free and know that you can come back to this safe space anytime that you want.
Anytime you're upset,
You can throw a tantrum in one house and then leave and go to this place.
Come here where you feel so safe,
So loved,
So seen and recognized and accepted.
Have a wonderful day.
