Mental Space-Tonic For Mental Fatigue, Self-Pressure & Stress

Welcome to the Curious Monkey podcast.

I'm your host,

Life coach and yoga instructor,

Veronica Tai.

This is for all who feel a calling in their heart.

We're going to dive into the world of coaching,

Yoga and healing to explore how to awaken to your true nature,

How to show up as the fullest version of yourself and how you can live a life doing what you're meant to.

Get inspired,

Shift your mindset and expand.

Let's do this.

Hello,

Hello,

My friend.

Thank you for joining me for today's daily inspiration.

So regardless of what kind of change you're going through,

Whether you're experiencing a change in your career,

Relationship or some other life situation tends to feel chaotic,

Uncertain and anxiety inducing,

Even if it's good change.

And that's another thing about change.

It can be a great thing or it can be a hard thing.

A great thing being like,

You know,

You get offered a dream job or there's a once in a lifetime opportunity for you to blog about a tropical island and you get to stay there for free,

But you got to pick up and leave in a week or something like that.

And then of course,

We've got the hard things that change brings into our lives sometimes,

Like a change in relationship status that we didn't want or losing a job or having to move because something changed in your life and it's not even your choice whether or not you wanted to move in the first place.

So either way it is whether it's something fantastic that's coming into your life or something that hard that you're going through.

There's still that element of uncertainty,

Kind of like,

Oh my gosh,

What just happened?

Oh,

What do I do now?

How do I move forward?

What does the future look like?

So as uncertain as as chaotic as everything seems,

There is a process to change that no matter what life change is happening,

The process is the same.

And that is where you can find your relief.

That is where you can find your comfort that the process of change begins the same.

Same with the messy middle parts,

And then it ends with inevitable light at the end of the tunnel.

Let's pop into today's daily inspiration.

I usually have so many ideas around what it is that I want to share with you because there's so much that I want to share with you as I continue to do my own self reflection.

And you know,

I love learning,

Listening to podcasts,

All that stuff,

As I continue to strengthen myself as a coach and as a yoga teacher,

There's always something that comes up that I'm like,

Oh my gosh,

I really need to share this with you.

I think it's going to be helpful.

This week,

I really wanted to cover a topic,

A daily inspiration,

Somewhere around change,

Just to stick with the theme of this upcoming workshop.

But listen,

For the second week in a row in the last daily inspiration episode,

I shared a little bit with you,

Like kind of an honest moment of Oh,

Yeah,

My body and my brain is asking me to rest and I'm totally having brain fog for the second week in a row.

It's happening again.

I'm racking my brain for ideas on what it is that I want to share with you around change,

You know,

That I can keep in the parameters of the time that we have during a daily inspiration rather than going off on like this two hour spiel about change.

So I have tons to say with it.

But when I was trying to think of a nugget,

This rarely happens to me,

I drew a blank.

And I sat there trying to force the idea out,

Which of course,

We now know that that never really works,

Or perhaps I'll talk more about that in a future episode,

How forcing and pressuring ourselves don't ever really work.

Not for the long term anyway.

So in the end,

Because I wanted to connect with you this week,

And I really wanted to share something with you on the podcast this week,

I decided to give in,

You know,

Let's use a better word for that.

Surrender and let go.

Yes.

So here,

For today's daily inspiration is the daily inspiration of surrender and letting go.

And you know what,

This does kind of tie to change.

Now that I'm thinking about it,

You know,

That first phase of change,

Which I endearingly call when shit hits the fan,

Which Martha Beck,

My coach and the one who's created this change cycle that I'm talking to you about.

You can find out more actually,

In her book,

Finding your North Star.

She calls it death and rebirth.

So what happens in this first phase of changes,

Some catalytic event happens,

It can happen like bam,

You're,

It just happened.

And now you have to deal with it.

Or it can happen slowly,

More like a transition.

An example of something like bam,

It just happened can be Oh,

Finding the love of your life,

You know,

One moment,

You're you,

Maybe you're looking for love.

The next moment,

Bam,

Your life has changed forever,

Because you found the love of your life.

It can happen slower,

Kind of like my example where working in the wrong job ate up at me long enough until one day I finally had the guts to actually quit.

And then that was the catalytic event that started the change cycle.

Either way,

The change happens,

It really does feel like your life is crumbling,

Because the foundation of what your life has been built on up until now,

Is now being pulled from under you.

And it is in fact crumbling around you.

That can feel unnerving,

Right?

Your sense of normal totally changed.

Oh,

I know this one's been used so much.

But you know,

An example of a catalytic event that just kind of blindsides you is the pandemic,

Which all of us have experienced over the last couple of years.

Do you remember though,

At the very,

Very beginning,

When everything was just happening,

And it felt like it was happening so fast,

And there was that sense of like,

Holding your breath,

People were buying toilet paper.

Yeah,

That sense can be so unnerving,

The anxiety,

The uncertainty.

And while there is actually a bunch of do's and don'ts that can help support you in getting through this phase of change,

Whenever or if you're in it right now,

One of the things that I'm going to extract from the whole list of do's and don'ts is comfort.

That when everything is when your sense of normal is being ripped out from underneath you,

Do what it is that makes you most comfortable.

In other words,

Like I mean,

That's more of an active part,

And surrender and let go and keep practicing surrender and letting go.

Easier said than done.

I know what we're about to go into today for today's daily inspiration really ties to that,

But this is one of the resources that I recommend,

The RAIN meditation for especially when you're going through that kind of big tumultuous time in your life,

Phase one,

Square one of the change cycle.

But this RAIN that we're about to practice is excellent for at any point in life that you're in,

At any point of the change cycle that you're in.

If you're at a point like me,

Where my body and my brain are telling me to slow down and take the foot off the gas pedal,

Because I am pressuring myself at this point in time to create something that is not ready to surface or to create something that's not ready to be kind of brought in as an idea.

So what do I do?

Well,

You know,

First I tried forcing it,

That didn't work.

And that reminded me,

Oh yeah,

Let go and surrender.

So let's do this.

This is the resource,

The RAIN meditation that I have learned from Tara Brach.

Her book,

Radical Compassion is fantastic and where I've learned to really deepen this practice.

We do the RAIN meditation.

And if we take all of the fancy steps and names away,

What this really means is we sit in beingness.

Yeah.

So all of that fixing,

Thinking,

Learning,

Trying that you're doing,

Put that aside for now.

And I'm offering this up to you regardless of what part of the change cycle you're in and regardless of what's going on for you today,

Because I know one thing for sure that being in the state of beingness can only serve no matter where you're at.

So again,

That usual place that we find ourselves in,

In our day to day,

The fixing,

The thinking,

The learning,

The trying,

Oh,

So much trying,

The resisting sometimes.

Put that all aside for now.

You can do this with your eyes closed.

If you do have a moment to actually close your eyes,

Or if you're walking right now,

Driving,

Whatever it is,

Just begin to slow your breath.

You can still pay attention for if you're driving for sure,

Pay attention to what you're doing,

But just begin to slow your breath and recognize what is going on within you.

You might turn that question towards yourself.

What's going on within me right now?

What kinds of emotions or body sensations are coming up for you as you begin to breathe in a little longer and breathe out a little longer?

And whatever it is that's coming up for you right now,

An emotion,

A body sensation,

A thought,

Maybe you're noticing that you are in fact,

Really caught up in the monkey mind and you're just churning with thoughts right now.

Allow it.

You might turn towards yourself and just say yes,

That whatever's coming up,

You say,

Yes.

Tara Brach offers up the phrase,

Let in,

Let be.

There might be a part of you that's totally resisting this being like,

No,

I don't have time for this right now.

I don't want to feel the fear that's coming up.

I don't want to acknowledge the discomfort in my knee or whatever it is.

You can acknowledge that too and allow that too.

Yes.

This resistance.

Yes.

Let in,

Let be.

I'm going to do this with you as we go along.

So that recognize part,

I recognize that there's a part of me that's tired.

So tired of trying,

So tired of being on.

And as I do this with you and I too allow what is coming up to come up,

There's this softening.

Like,

As if I'm noticing for the first time all day,

The amount of pressure that I've put on myself to keep going.

I'm also noticing that there's this softer part within me that's asking for a rest.

I just want to rest.

I just want to be okay.

It leads us to the I,

Which is investigate.

Turn kind,

Curious attention to what's going on within you.

Maybe you can even narrow it down to the emotion or the body sensation that came up the strongest.

What's the worst part of this?

Where does it live in your body?

If this vulnerable,

Softer,

Maybe hurting part of you could communicate,

What would it express?

How does this part want you to be with it?

Can you sense what it needs the most?

Again,

As I'm doing this with you,

That kind of softer part within me,

That's just crying for rest.

Just not rest,

Like laying down,

But I'm so tired.

I don't want to try anymore.

Can I just be okay?

Can all of this just be enough?

This softer part,

I sense it as a younger part of myself.

I used to push myself to study a lot.

I was a kid,

Maybe eight,

And I stayed up until midnight or 1 a.

M.

Sometimes just trying to cram my brain with studies because academia was so important.

It's that same sensation right now as I'm doing this with you of like,

Oh my gosh,

I'm so tired.

I just want to go outside and play.

Well,

I totally missed the boat on that because it's nighttime,

So I just want to sleep.

Can I just sleep?

Can I be okay as is?

Can I not get 100%?

Which I never did anyway,

But can I just not get 100% and be okay with that on the test tomorrow?

This part of me needs me to let it know that it's okay.

It's okay.

You don't have to be on all the time.

You don't always have to bring your A game.

It needs that permission.

Needs that space.

How does that vulnerable part within you,

Maybe that hurting part within you,

Want to express to you?

How does it want you to be with it?

What does it need the most?

As you sense what's needed by this softer,

Gentle place within you,

Call in your kindest,

Most compassionate self.

And from this kind,

Compassionate self,

Maybe offer up a gentle message or an inward embrace.

This part that's been calling out to you.

If right now,

Whatever you're going through,

It's just hard to call on a kind and compassionate version of yourself,

You can imagine another figure as well.

Someone that you trust that represents comfort,

Maybe a parent,

A pet,

A wise teacher,

Maybe a spiritual teacher.

Sometimes I like to imagine Tara Brock herself in all of her compassion and kindness that she has for everyone.

Sometimes I like to imagine the universe,

The all loving universe and the energy that that would feel like to be in the embrace of all loving universe.

Maybe you imagine that this figure,

This comforting,

Trustful figure showers you in healing white light,

Or maybe there are words or touch or images or some other energy that is shared with you.

Whatever it is that allows that softer,

Gentler,

Vulnerable part of you to feel safe,

Acknowledged and love.

And then sit in the beingness,

Noticing what,

If anything has shifted and continuing to leave the fixing,

Thinking,

Learning,

Trying all aside for now.

Just be here.

Just be here.

Even if you're currently out for a walk or you're driving.

And you can pay attention to what you're doing.

In fact,

I strongly recommend it if you're driving,

You can still be here.

Three more breaths in this space where for now,

In each breath,

All is well.

Everything is okay.

Everything more that you need to try to be or try to do than what you're already doing.

That's the practice of RAIN.

That it is intended to be a meditation.

Yes,

But I think more important than finding the right time and space and the quietness and all that to actually do the RAIN meditation is to just do it wherever you are.

And the beauty of this practice is that you can do it for as long or as little as you'd like it to.

And what it really does is that it helps you bring yourself back into the moment.

Again,

In our day to day,

We're so into the fixing the thinking,

The learning,

The trying,

So much so that do you ever feel sometimes like your brain is just fried?

Like that monkey mind is a two year old who hasn't had a nap in two days.

It's really having a time right now.

Yeah.

The mental space that RAIN lends up is the mental space sometimes,

The rest that we've been craving all along,

The rest that we've been trying to attain through all of these external things like bubble baths or glasses of wine or vacations even sometimes,

Right?

As great as all of those things really are,

The whole idea of them isn't to prescribe,

Take a bubble bath and you will be rested.

No,

It take a bubble bath because sometimes if it's in the right place,

If it's for the right person,

It brings you to this space.

That RAIN brings you to mental spaciousness,

A sense of wellbeing,

A sense of okayness.

Even if just for this moment,

Everything in this moment is okay.

Yeah.

So that's what I wanted to lend up to you today.

I hope that it has served you.

If you have a friend,

A loved one,

A coworker who would really benefit from today's practice,

Please by all means share this out with them.

And if you haven't subscribed for the curious monkey podcast yet,

Please do so so that you don't miss them at an episode.

Alrighty,

Let's call that good.

Thank you so much for tuning in with me today.

I appreciate and I'm so grateful for the time that we get to spend together until we meet again on the next episode,

Continue exploring and feeding your soul with whoever and what ever sparks you.