The Art Of Mindful Smiling

Hello and welcome,

Dear soul.

Find yourself a spot on your favorite cushion or on a chair or couch,

Maybe even lying down.

Take a moment to settle yourself in and get good and comfortable.

Let's start by taking a few deep conscious breaths to find our center,

Our peace.

Take a deep breath in and hold a moment.

Now on the exhale,

Let out a big satisfied sigh.

Release the garbage energies you picked up during the day.

Breathe in again,

Filling your entire body with good,

Clean energy and hold.

Now release that garbage.

Once again,

Fill up your lungs all the way with a deep breath in and hold.

And then release it all.

You are here now.

I want to share with you a tool you can use to regulate your emotions and actually create emotions intentionally,

Instead of being driven by reactions to your environment.

This tool can also be used to create positive change when you're experiencing anxiety.

Like so many people,

I suffer from chronic anxiety.

In recent years,

I've done a lot of work on myself,

Learning,

Understanding,

Healing,

Accepting,

Releasing.

So I am suffering a lot less.

This has a large part to do with little brain hacks that I've learned to incorporate in my day.

An important one for anxiety and just for the general feeling of well-being is smiling.

Yep,

Just smiling.

But not reactive smiling so much.

It has been conscious or mindful smiling that I've been practicing.

When I'm with people that are part of my tribe,

As in similar mindset and goals,

Etc.

,

I tend to smile a lot.

And this is good smiling,

But it's reactive smiling because I'm responding to my environment.

I'm with people that I like,

So I'm happy and therefore I smile.

As a child and in my early adult life,

My anxiety was huge,

But I always appeared to be the happy person in the group.

This was a form of conscious smiling,

But for the wrong reason.

I plastered a smile across my face,

Trying to be likable and accepted by the group.

This was because my anxiety had me believing I was not enough.

When I am alone and my face is relaxed,

I don't really have a smile on my face.

When we are by ourselves,

Our anxiety tends to get a little bit of the better of us.

I discovered that I have resting sad face.

It is similar to the old resting bitch face,

But instead of having a look of disdain or disgust,

I just look sad.

This is as a result of many decades of sadness that has etched itself into my face.

When I am relaxed,

You can see it in my eyes,

The lines on my face,

The shape of my mouth.

This became painfully apparent to me when I was applying for a new job during the first pandemic lockdown.

I was required to submit a short video of me explaining why I would be a good candidate at this healing center.

A few weeks after submitting the video and not hearing anything,

I decided to watch the video that I had submitted.

I watched myself tell the camera with my resting sad face and my upside down smile as I spoke the words,

I am a happy and energetic person.

Too funny.

No wonder I never got a call.

And I actually am perceived as happy when I am around other people.

Oh well.

My face did not show that as I sat in my basement making the video.

In person it probably would have been much different.

What do we do when we are anxious?

Often we will engage in distractive behavior.

This can look like mindless watching of television,

Scrolling social media,

Visiting websites that do nothing to move us forward in our life in any way,

Or playing digital video games.

These activities become addictive because it distracts us from our troubles.

Anxiety or inner pain is the trigger.

Without thinking,

We are engaging in the activity.

If you were to see yourself while doing these things,

Would you be smiling?

Probably not.

I would be wearing my resting sad face.

I decided that if I am feeling anxious and am compelled to waste time with distractive behavior,

I would start to smile while doing it.

Not a huge silly toothy grin.

Just a happy grin.

Our brains are wired into a biofeedback loop with many systems in our body.

Our brains monitor the environment and it decides if we are happy or not.

If we are happy,

Then we smile.

But the opposite is also true because of the feedback loop.

If we choose to maintain a smile,

Our brain thinks,

Oh,

We are happy.

So it starts sending out the happy hormones.

Dopamine,

Serotonin,

Oxytocin,

And endorphins.

The hormones then affirm the emotional state and we actually begin to feel happy.

So there I am playing solitaire on my computer,

But now choosing to do so with my happy little Mona Lisa grin.

At first it feels weird doing this activity with a smile,

But I stick with it.

I try holding an image in my mind that makes me happy.

Like being at a beautiful beach with palm trees and white sand.

Or like hugging that special person that's close to my heart.

And soon the activity of solitaire starts to feel like a waste of time.

Like it's in my face now.

It just doesn't work with a smile.

Cognitively I already knew that it was a waste of time,

But it became quite visceral while smiling and I had to stop it.

I checked in with myself and was feeling way less anxiety.

I had a feeling of mild happiness for no reason other than I consciously chose to feel it.

I began to do this any time I was feeling anxious.

Like rush hour traffic.

Keep the smile on your face with that image of happiness floating in the back of your mind and you will feel calmer in the same traffic.

When that dude cuts in your lane,

Instead of the automatic reaction of,

What the heck,

Why is he doing that to me?

You become less phased by it.

I am trying now to smile whenever I catch myself not smiling.

Will it reverse my resting sad face?

Probably not.

I have too many decades of lines etched into my face.

But I can make a conscious decision to have that Mona Lisa smile as often as I can.

And science backs this up.

A number of studies have been done that monitor a person's emotional state in a variety of situations.

The studies have monitored people in a neutral mood to establish a baseline.

Then they have the subjects merely put a pencil in their mouth held between their teeth.

The corners of their mouths are pulled back like a kind of low-grade smile.

And guess what?

The data showed that the participants' moods had significantly improved.

Mindful Smiling.

Resting on the breath brings us into the present moment.

This is really quite important in helping reduce anxiety.

But when we can take it one step further by adding mindful smiling,

Big changes can occur.

You can do this while meditating as well.

You will be amazed at how good you feel afterwards.

Seriously.

Now,

Facial expressions are not the only thing tied to the brain with this kind of biofeedback loop.

Posture is another big one.

If you stand tall with your head up,

Back straight,

Shoulders back,

You start to feel more confident.

For most of us,

Our adult posture was created in childhood and we never paused to think about it.

For me,

Head down,

Slouched back,

Shoulders forward,

Arms in.

Think about it.

This is moving towards crouching,

Making yourself small,

Hiding from a perceived threat.

People who survived trauma while growing up tend to be hypervigilant in looking for that threat.

This is happening at a subconscious level in an effort to avoid the pain.

All my life I held my head down,

Arms were close to my sides,

My shoulders rolled forward.

Not an image of confidence.

And people reacted to my posture and resting sad face by not really noticing me at all.

And so now I've done some experimenting,

Many times,

By going to the grocery store and I choose to be confident.

I walk in with a straight,

Confident posture,

With shoulders back,

And choose to have a smile on my face.

I make eye contact with people as they pass by.

All of a sudden I am noticed.

People smile back.

Small talk erupts while bagging apples.

The interaction makes me feel good.

After all,

Humans are social creatures.

Just like with only a smile,

The brain releases all the happy hormones and you are actually in a good mood now.

The best part is,

You didn't leave it to your environment to dictate how you feel.

You created this yourself.

This is using the concept of self-fulfilling prophecy to your advantage,

Instead of your detriment.

So dear soul,

I hope you consciously choose to begin with a smile and create your mood.

You are in control if you choose to be.

In closing,

Let's take some deep breaths together.

Take a deep breath in and hold for a moment.

Now exhale and let a big,

Satisfied sigh out.

Release any residual negative energies.

Breathe in again,

Filling your entire body with good,

Clean energy and hold.

Now release.

One more time.

Fill up your lungs all the way with a deep breath in and hold.

And let it all go.

I challenge you now to continue to listen to the sounds here for the next few minutes,

But do it with a gentle Mona Lisa smile on your face.

If you find that you have stopped smiling,

No problem.

Just smile once again.

It will become easier with practice.

If you want to develop this practice even further,

I've created another meditation that is called Mindful Smiling,

The Practice.

It has minimal guidance,

But I have included periodic reminders to help you maintain the smile.

So check that one out too.

I wish you much created joy and happiness,

Dear soul.

Thank you.