Live Recording: The Happy Inner Child *20/6/2024*

So welcome everyone.

I want to do a meditation about the happy inner child we all have.

But before we get into the guided meditation,

I want to talk a little bit more about the inner child.

So we all have different childs within us,

According to schema therapy by Jeffrey Young.

You don't need to be familiar with schema therapy to do this meditation.

However,

I do recommend to follow my course because this is an extension of that.

You can find the course Breaking Free,

A four-day meditation journey to release all patterns on Insight Timer.

The ultimate goal of schema therapy is to repair and heal our unhelpful patterns of thinking,

Feeling,

And experiencing ways that are connected to our unmet needs from childhood and teenage years.

And a key of schema therapy is to develop a happy inner child.

This is called an inner child mode,

To connect with hobbies and interests.

We want to respond again to our needs not being met.

And our happy child,

She or he or they,

They feel loved,

Connected,

Worthwhile,

Safe,

Understood,

Optimistic,

And spontaneous.

And when we are in our happy child mode,

Our emotional needs are met.

And often people with mental health difficulties did not have a childhood environment that allowed them to be happy and playful.

And a key aspect of schema therapy is to develop our happy inner child mode,

To connect with hobbies and interests.

And you also get to find out,

You also have another mode,

That's the healthy adult.

And they will nurture that happy inner child so that they still can play and have fun.

So through play,

Children can explore their creativity,

Curiosity,

And connection with others.

They can put their ideas into a great play.

And that need doesn't disappear when we grow up.

But the form of the play can mature,

Like I shared in previous sessions.

It's crucial that adults find time for play.

And we sometimes forget,

At least I forget.

And this healthy adult also needs attention.

And that's what you do in schema therapy.

You grow your healthy adult and you grow your happy inner child.

And the thing is,

Sometimes we forgot as children what we liked.

I know a lot of people who can't remember bits from their childhood.

So this might be a difficult exercise,

But you don't have to get it at once.

You may take your time with this one.

And if we are now working on our happy inner child,

It might also raise some emotions like embarrassment.

Like,

I'm not going to do childish stuff.

That might be some rejection or a response.

But I do invite you to work on this.

And you are here for a reason,

Listening.

In my healing journey,

The point where I am now,

I actually don't care anymore if I'm embarrassing.

Because I know how important this work is.

I know how important it is to work on your happy inner child.

For example,

I used to love to dance as a kid.

I would dance in front of the mirror,

Pretend to be Britney Spears with a mic.

And later,

When I was a teenager,

I took dancing lessons.

I did a competition and it took the joy out of it.

It became a very rigid,

Strict routine.

And I had to be the best and it was just ruined by different factors,

Right?

But later,

When I became sober,

I came back to dancing.

I went to,

With a couple of fellows,

I went to Aesthetic Dance.

I don't know if you heard about it,

Aesthetic Dance.

And this is a safe place where you can express your emotions by dance.

And I loved it.

I suddenly felt free.

I was better in regulating my emotions and I just realized how important expression was for me.

So this is an example.

If you just pick something from your childhood which you really loved and you keep working on that,

It will give you joy as the adult you are now.

Besides paying attention to our hobbies and interests we had as a happy child,

What is also important to nurture your happy child is to pay attention to their values.

So what was important to you as a child regarding your values?

What did matter?

A great exercise I recently saw of all places on TikTok.

You had this brief trend where they shared a picture of themselves as an adult with text like hey,

I'm worried about my weight gain and that I should diet more,

That I should have better clothes,

I look ridiculous.

And then you would see themselves as a young child and they were wearing funny glasses and there was a small child wearing funny clothes like a costume.

And the child was like,

What do you mean?

I'm fine.

And I love that trend because it just shows that at that point we just didn't care.

You know,

That child was saying,

I care about self-expression and have fun.

And that can sometimes also be a great reminder.

So do you remember your values?

And now I'm moving into the bit about nostalgia.

There's a lot of research actually about nostalgia,

I was surprised.

Now again,

Not all of us had great childhoods,

But hopefully there were some good parts.

And research has shown that nostalgia can increase positive emotions,

They can evoke these feelings of love and warmth,

And they can counteract negative feelings.

Nostalgia also helps with stress reduction and with providing a sense of continuity and coherence in your life story.

There's also some identity affirmation,

Like I shared before,

Where we can reflect on our past experiences and reinforce this sense of identity of who we are and self-worth.

But also can heal past wounds.

So nostalgia can help you process and heal past traumas or unresolved issues.

They can enhance therapeutic outcomes,

So it's also beneficial in therapy.

And it helps with gratitude and appreciation.

So it fosters a sense of gratitude of one's own past.

And I've experienced these benefits myself.

I thought that nostalgia can also make you indeed too nostalgic,

As they describe it.

But recently there's this trend,

Right?

The 90s are coming back.

And I was a kid in the 90s.

I am now seeing videos of people who do inner child work.

And I have for example someone shared a video of how they changed their room,

Again with the posters of Britney Spears.

You see these Barbie dolls,

Disney movies from that time.

And she had these fairies that could fly.

And when I saw those fairies,

It brought me back to a great memory I had with playing with my friends.

And I wished for those fairies so bad,

I wanted them.

And suddenly I was back in that memory and it gave me warm feelings,

Instead of only focusing on my bad childhood.

So these are some of the things I will incorporate in our next visualization.

Okay,

Let's slow down for the meditation.

I invite you to sit or lay down.

You can lay down for this one.

And listen to the music while you close your eyes.

And I invite you to take a deep breath in through the nose and release through the mouth with a loud out sigh.

Let's do that one more time.

Deep breath in.

And out.

You can relax completely.

You have permission to relax.

And in your mind's eye,

Picture yourself standing at the entrance of a beautiful forest.

This is a safe place.

You see the trees.

You hear the wind rushing through the trees.

You also hear some birds and you see the sunlight through the trees.

And you are going to walk as the adult that you are now through the forest and feel the earth beneath your feet.

And as you walk,

You know you are going to meet a special part of yourself.

Soon you will be walking through a small clearing.

And in the center of that clearing,

You see a happy radiant child.

You see their back,

But you already notice who it is.

Because that child is you.

They turn around and notice how they look.

What age are they?

And what are they wearing?

And really focus on the expression of their face.

And approach your inner child,

Your happy inner child,

Slowly.

And as you do,

Feel the warmth of their presence.

And when you are ready,

You can sit down near them at their eye level and look them into their eyes.

And introduce yourself.

And say that you need their help.

You can ask them what makes them happy.

Ask them what they do for fun and really listen.

Now imagine engaging in these activities together.

Maybe it's drawing,

Playing an instrument,

Dancing,

Exploring nature,

Or just simply laughing and having fun.

And feel the joy and freedom of these activities.

Now check and tell your inner happy child that you are going to take some of their joy and curiosity back into your adult life.

So together you want to rediscover what brings fun into your life right now.

So you can visualize yourself and your happy inner child standing in a room filled with different objects.

And you know what these objects are.

These are objects of your hobbies and interests.

Perhaps they are art supplies,

Musical instruments,

Books,

Sports.

You know what the room is filled with.

And with your inner child explore this room.

You might want to touch the objects and notice which one spark joy and curiosity within you.

And allow yourself to be drawn to the hobbies that resonate with your current self.

Where do you feel excitement,

Where do you see possibilities?

Now look into this room and is there a toy you see you really liked as a child?

Perhaps it was even a toy your parents didn't give you.

Was there something you craved?

Do you see it right now?

Okay give this to your happy inner child and see how they react.

How do you feel in this moment?

And take a few moments to absorb this experience.

And look at your happy child and ask them,

Is there something else you would like to tell me?

Is there something I really need to know that truly matters to you?

And know that you can return to this place whenever you want to reconnect with your happy inner child.

But it's time to say goodbye.

Thank them for their companionship and their guidance.

You can do this by,

If they want,

Giving them a hug or perhaps they want a high five.

You know best.

And thank yourself for taking time to invest in you.

You can let go and walk back in the forest.

We're leaving the room,

We're back in the forest.

And know that you can carry this sense of joy and happiness with you.

Now I invite you to take a final breath and with the outside release this meditation.

So you breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth.

You can slowly come back.

Open your eyes and move.

And listen.

I want to thank you for nurturing your happy inner child,

Perhaps rediscovering new hobbies.

And may you continue to find fulfillment and happiness,

Especially hobbies of interest.