That Place Within Loving Self-Compassion

Let's start this talk by this beautiful quote by Pema Chodron.

Compassion,

She says,

Is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded.

It is a relationship between equals.

Only when we know our darkness well,

We can be present with the darkness of others.

Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.

Compassion as an available and powerful quality of the heart has been practiced throughout the centuries by peoples all over the world,

Regardless of their religious or spiritual belief.

Different religions have used compassion to express the empathetic feeling of being moved by the suffering of oneself and the suffering of others,

Whether understanding and recognize the suffering of others in a black and white cognitive way,

Or emotionally resonating with it by the feeling of empathy,

Or feeling motivated to doing something about it.

Compassion is an inherent and universal quality of the heart,

Whether or not it is defined as an emotion we can mindfully identify ourselves with and be aware of,

Or a wish or an act to try to alleviate and minimize the world's suffering.

Compassion is a tool put together and a bit more,

A powerful weapon available to all peoples in the world to save it from its own distress and destruction.

As the Dalai Lama says,

Compassion is a necessity,

Not a luxury.

In a way,

Compassion is an exercise of courage,

An opportunity for us to exercise keeping the doors of our hearts open to observe our demons coming in and going out as they please,

Treat them with honorable respect as our guests,

And let them show us our humanity.

Compassion is a fear killer,

A motivation booster,

And an empathy shot.

While the practice of loving-kindness encourages us to be in touch with our natural ability to offer and expand our loving wishes to the world,

Compassion practice encourages us to be willing to feel the pain and suffering of others by opening our hearts to show that we are there for them.

It's a feeling of togetherness,

A feeling of empathy,

Rather than that distancing and excluding feeling of pity.

As a practice,

It is an opportunity we are taking to strengthen our willingness to open our hearts without judgment,

But with unbiased,

Curious attitudes of an open mind.

Compassion arrives through the empathetic doors of us putting ourselves in someone else's shoes,

To feel what it is like to be starving,

To be homeless,

To be left alone inside the world's predicaments and contempt,

Because of your color complexion,

Your sexual orientation,

Your financial or social status,

Your mental-physical struggles,

Your origin,

Your pain and sorrow.

Compassion arrives to show us our kinship,

Our inclusiveness,

Our togetherness,

And our humanness,

In that we are not special and separate from the world.

Compassion arises to show us that we can only exist together.

Without compassion,

Our business as human beings is doomed to fail.

Without compassion,

Destruction is the winner.

So,

Why aren't we willing to open to compassion?

We all know that we do need a guiding light in order to cross a dark tunnel safely.

We can be present in the life of others' darkness when they find it hard to be present themselves.

We are happy to hold the torch to help and guide others out of their dark path.

We share this torch because,

In one way or another,

We all have been there ourselves.

We know how hard it will be have we not been present when we had to cross the same dark tunnel.

We all have this light inside ourselves,

But sometimes we are so confused or overwhelmed by life difficulties that we find it hard to see this light.

We all need that guiding light when crossing the many dark patches that we will inevitably have to cross throughout our lives.

And we all must have it if we are to appreciate the bright patches at the other end of the tunnel.

Moments of darkness is a place where we all share our common vulnerability.

Vulnerability is part of our makeup as humans.

We are equal in that we share it in the sense of holding a little torch that will guide one out of one's darkness.

We share that beam of light,

Even if it is dim,

Because that same beam of light was there when we most needed it.

We have the experience of feeling not better or worse,

But equal in that same dark place.

We feel the need to share this light as we well recognize the predicament from our own darkness.

The light of this wonderful sharing torch is one of our sublime qualities,

Which the heart of most sentient beings beholds,

Compassion.

It sheds a light on that part of accepting our humanness.

Pema Chodron says that only when we know our darkness well we can be present with the darkness of others.

And this is exactly where we will start our compassion meditation practice,

From that place within compassion for our sharing feelings as humans,

From that place within acceptance of who we are,

From that place within a loving and kind heart that has space for accepting our faults,

Our sorrows,

Our tears,

Our losses,

From that place within humility,

From that place within strength and courage,

From that place within love and kindness and compassion for others and for ourselves,

For this planet and all beings in it.

We will practice to sit in silence and stay right here and now,

Embracing our vulnerability,

Our feelings,

Our emotions as part of being human,

Embracing ourselves as we are,

With the same attention and support we would give to a dear friend in need of a hug or two.

Okay,

Take a moment now to get yourself ready for this meditation,

Making any adjustment you need to get yourself comfortable and relaxed in whichever posture is best for you.

You may sit or lie down,

It's fine if you prefer to keep your eyes half open,

Gently looking downwards without focusing on anything,

Otherwise gently close your eyes as it facilitates inward connection.

Let's begin by taking a few nourishing breaths,

Feeling the air coming in and out.

Be gentle and kind without forcing the breath in any way,

Just observe and feel the movement of the breath in your belly or chest,

Relaxing as they rise and fall.

You can mentally say,

Calm in the mind and body as you breathe in and breathe out,

Calm in the mind,

Calm in the body,

Breathe in,

Calm in the mind,

Breathe out,

Relaxing,

Calm in the body.

Invite your shoulders,

Arms,

Hands to relax from the inside out as you slowly and gently breathe in and breathe out.

You may say,

I feel my shoulders,

I feel my arms,

My hands relaxing.

Invite your chest to relax,

You can move the chest and invite it to relax from back,

Sides and front,

Feeling the gentle movement of the chest and belly relaxing as you mindfully breathe in,

Breathe out.

Move your attention now to the legs,

Invite them to relax from the inside out,

Feeling both legs relaxing as you breathe in and breathe out.

Pay a kind attention now to the feet and toes,

Invite them to relax from the inside out.

You may say,

I feel my feet and toes relaxing as you breathe in and out.

Move to the face now,

Feeling the muscle around the mouth relaxing,

Invite a nice and kind smile while you breathe in and breathe out.

Feel the corners of your eyes smiling and the little muscles around the eye smiling,

Relaxing.

You may say,

I gently and slowly breathe in and out and I feel my whole face now relaxed.

I gently and slowly breathe in and out and I feel my whole body relaxed.

In and out,

The whole body is now relaxed.

May I accept myself as I am.

May I be kind to myself.

May my heart be filled with self-care.

May my heart be filled with self-compassion.

May I accept myself as I am.

May I be kind to myself.

May my heart be filled with self-compassion.

Take this opportunity to allow yourself to open your heart.

Without fear,

You are safe here.

Keep repeating these words.

May I accept myself as I am.

May I be kind to myself.

May I be kind to myself.

May my heart be filled with self-compassion.

May I accept myself as I am.

May I accept myself as I am.

May I be kind to myself.

May my heart be filled with self-compassion.

Now try to use your own words.

Words that are encouraging.

Words that you would say to a dear friend in need.

Words you need to hear right now.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.

Open your heart and keep reciting your own loving kindness.