Hello my fellow fallible human.
Welcome to the Harmonious Mind,
A space to slow down and gently reset your nervous system.
I'm Tanya McIntyre,
Your mindfulness mentor and founder of Red Roof Recovery and its training division MHFA Mental Health Fitness Alliance.
We're located in the beautiful lakeside town of Goderich,
Ontario,
Canada.
These short reflections are crafted to help you build a kinder relationship with your mind.
Let this reach you the way music does,
Without effort,
Without judgment,
Simply allowing yourself to be here.
Today we'll explore ways to silence your inner critic for better mental health.
One of my favorite Shakespeare quotes states,
All the world is a stage and men and women merely players.
That's how I felt for a long time.
I felt like I was playing a role on the stage of life.
It was a role that was defined by my family,
My culture,
My country,
My school,
My friends,
And for a while my religion.
When I was 11 years old I discovered that a shot of gin or vodka from the liquor cabinet would boost me into another realm of reality for a while to help me escape the dysfunction of my family.
It was a temporary relief from the constant chaos that permeated my environment.
My addictions progressed from booze,
Weed,
And speed through the 80s to coke and pills through the 90s.
I was filling my water bottle with vodka most days,
But I was still posing as a high performance being.
I had a career,
A car,
A house,
And a husband.
It was the ideal scenario to keep me swimming in the river of denial for many,
Many years.
I may not have been destitute,
But I was desperate.
I was dragging myself through life every day.
What helped me spiral downward very quickly was a move to Spain where wine and brandy were cheaper than water.
I was mired in bureaucracy for the first two years and that was a perfect excuse for me to drink myself unconscious every day.
I spent a month in a rehab facility.
I attended 12-step meetings every week and I lapsed almost every year for the next several years.
I was also going to a lot of funerals for my peers who were not returning from their lapses.
I knew it was just a matter of time before I didn't return from one of mine.
It was then that I went in search of a more secular evidence-based program.
I found one called SMART,
Self-Management and Recovery Training,
Which is based on cognitive therapies and founded by doctors.
These evidence-based tools have helped me remain free from addictions since 2018.
I use a variety of tools,
Techniques,
And strategies to help me manage my feelings of anxiety and depression and keep the volume down on my inner critic.
These tools help me better manage the ups and downs of life without the need for drugs.
I practice a few things every day to help me become an expert surfer when riding these waves of life.
I call these three tools my AAA formula for freedom.
Number one,
Awareness.
Once I became aware of the automatic negative thoughts,
The ants,
I was better equipped to catch it,
Check it,
And change it with cognitive tools.
Number two,
Attention.
When I direct my attention to things that are within my control,
I'm better able to drown out the negative narrative with more helpful thoughts that are actually comforting and motivating.
Number three,
Acceptance.
This is something I work on every day.
It actually inspired me to create a tool to help you develop unconditional acceptance for yourself,
For others,
And for life.
It is the hammer in my toolbox.
Here's hoping you can use awareness,
Attention,
And acceptance for better mental health.
Thank you so much for being here with me.
I hope these insights offer you some serenity.
Join me again for future episodes of The Harmonious Mind as we continue to explore practical ways to build better mental health.
Until then,
May your coffee,
Your heart,
And your patience be strong.
My name is Tanya McIntyre,
Your Mindfulness Mentor.
May the force of mindfulness be with you always.
And remember,
You are the force.
