Relationship With Debt Series: Legacy Of Inequity

I do not know what it feels like not to be in debt.

I always owe somebody something,

And often it's more than I have available to pay.

I've never seen anyone be free from debt,

No one that I know,

So I don't know what it looks like.

I don't know what it looks like for me.

What I do know is always scraping to make ends meet,

Always hustling,

Get,

And then it's gone.

Soft life,

What is that?

Who has time for that?

Anyone who wants to eat have a roof over their heads and would rather die than disappoint any of their babies by telling them no because you can't afford it,

And I do not like that.

I do not like that feeling of always have to or else,

And I want it to stop today.

So good.

If any of that resonates with you,

Let's nurture this intention together here in this moment,

This intention of being tired of being tired and not liking it to the point where you have this definitive desire for it all to stop right now.

Hello and welcome to this melanated debt series of meditations to help us transform our relationships with what's on the other side of the money exchange because remember,

Our relationship is not with money.

Our relationship is with whatever we get when we spend money.

I am Dr.

Candy Dugas,

Your guide for this meditation around our relationship with debt.

Freedom from debt is what we get when we spend money on our bills,

Well,

Supposedly.

Sometimes we make payment after payment after payment and still do not realize any forward movement,

No progress at all.

Sometimes we take classes,

Seminars,

Workshops,

Read and apply tips,

Tricks,

And hacks found in several books on money management and still do not realize any forward movement,

No progress at all.

We budget,

Save,

And invest and still live paycheck to paycheck or into next year's paychecks with our credit obligations and our loan debts.

With all this effort,

You can feel some type of way about yourself when it's not resulting in the way that you think it ought to,

In the way that you believe you see it happening for other people.

Well,

Sometimes it's not just you.

Sometimes you've inherited more than those luscious lips and nice round hips from that ancestor.

Sometimes you've inherited their debt tangibly and energetically and it's not their fault either.

We,

As African Americans,

As descendants of formerly enslaved people,

Must always remember that unless we have cleared the trauma that our people endured,

We've received it into ourselves by being their descendants and we are living with it along with our own.

Our financial lives are directly impacted by racial inequities in the United States and we must never take on individual responsibility for that which comes from a collective adversarial effort.

Thank you for being here,

For taking the time to care for yourself,

Yes,

Self-care,

Especially for taking the time to be courageous enough to explore or to do so more deeply regarding a part of you that may be triggering.

You know this is triggering when I mention the word money or debt and you experience a visceral reaction when I describe rather helpless situations and you feel it somewhere in your body.

If money and debt cause you to feel something somewhere,

Will you identify it right now?

Will you see where it's showing up in your body?

Was it in your gut,

Your neck,

Shoulders,

Temples,

Behind your eyes,

Between your eyes,

Your lower back,

Did anything tighten or did you feel any spasms?

I invite you not to shoo it away or to deny it or even judge it.

In this moment,

In this safer space,

Just feel it.

Feel into the tension,

The tightening and then breathe through it.

Focus on sending your breath,

Your expansive,

Healing,

Life-giving breath to and through the tension.

Will you breathe with me?

Inhale and exhale with a sigh.

We are entering a process,

An experience that honors ourselves and our ancestors by acknowledging,

Facing and dissolving any difficulties we experience around debt.

Take another deep breath with me and sigh it out.

If you have not already,

Please make sure you are in a quiet and comfortable place where you will not be disturbed for the length of this meditation.

Feel free to be in one of your most favorite postures,

Seated,

Reclining or lying down.

You may be feeling some kind of exhausted too,

So I understand you may need to have the full weight of your body supported.

If you happen to fall asleep because you're lying down,

Well,

That's all right.

Go back again to this meditation for the benefits of it when you are awake.

Now,

With our breathing,

Let's guide our bodies to give into relaxation,

To release our worries,

To relax and expand from that any of the tension,

Tightness or spasms that you may have identified earlier.

There's nothing to hold together here,

Nothing to keep tight,

Nothing to manage,

Nothing to control.

This is a space for unwinding,

Unwrapping yourself and unfolding so that you can feel what you feel.

Let's do five deep breath cycles.

To feel what you feel so that you can get information from it,

Good information,

Full information from it.

When you hold on too tightly and try to manage it too much,

If you get anything at all,

It's not going to be enough to really be helpful for you.

Let's open up and receive.

Okay now,

We're going to do five deep breath cycles and remember that our exhales are going to be longer than our inhales and we're going to hold at the top and at the bottom of each breath cycle.

All right,

Inhale,

Hold,

Exhale,

Inhale,

Hold,

Exhale.

This time we're going to inhale longer,

Hold longer and exhale longer.

And I'm going to remember to hold at the bottom as well as the top.

All right,

Inhale,

Hold,

Exhale.

Hold,

Inhale,

Exhale.

Hold,

Last one,

Inhale,

Exhale.

God knows.

God knows.

God knows whatever name you use,

Universe,

Creator,

They know.

Be assured that they know.

They know how much it hurts.

They know your pain,

They know your confusion,

They know your exasperation.

They know.

Now imagine a golden yet clear light all around you that also concentrates at the top of your head where your crown energy center is.

Open your crown to allow the light to enter your being.

Join with the light to push your mental energy down through your energy centers,

Through your heart,

Through your gut,

Into your hips,

Legs and feet and into the earth to ground you.

And then beyond the surface of the earth all the way to its core,

Mixing there in the depths of the earth with the earth's energy.

You are part of that energy,

That forceful,

Strong energy that's at the core of the earth.

Now bring all of that energy mixed together back up through the earth,

Through your feet,

Legs,

Hips,

Gut,

Heart and your crown.

You are connected above and below.

And breathe.

And smile,

If you can feel a smile come into your lips,

Go ahead and smile.

And now we invite a spirit guide to join you.

If you're familiar with the concept and working of a spirit guide,

Ask that one or ask to meet a new one.

Or if this is a new concept for you,

A spirit guide can be a known or unknown ancestor to you in this lifetime.

It can be a favorite animal,

An angel.

Allow whatever comes up for you in this moment as a spirit guide.

This is a presence that is confident,

Strong and caring.

Allow the presence to ask to be and walk with you during this meditation.

Ask your spirit guide to cleanse your aura of anything that is not helpful to or for you.

Next,

Ask your spirit guide to protect you with anything that will make you feel safe.

It could be a blanket,

A weighted blanket.

It could be mist,

Smoke or a diamond like structure surrounding you.

Whatever it is,

Your spirit guide has it easily within reach.

And with this protection,

You know without a doubt that nothing and no one can harm you.

Be protected now.

So now that you're grounded,

Cleansed and protected,

Ask your spirit guide to accompany you,

To accompany us.

We're going to take the solitary weight off the debt.

What I mean by solitary is that it totally belongs to you or you're the one that's completely responsible for it.

We're going to take the solitary weight off of the debt.

And shift your focus in the context that frames your debt.

If tension arises in the places that you identified earlier or new ones may pop up,

Send your breath to those places just like we did before.

You may even want to touch those places with your fingertips and massage them.

Do so with an intentionality of sending your expansive,

Life-giving,

Healing breath to that spot on your body,

To that place on your body.

If tension turns to anxiety that is beyond your ability to calm with your breath,

Immediately stop this meditation,

Consult your mental health supports,

And then return when you're calm.

So if you're continuing now as you breathe,

Possibly continuing to softly touch and massage and caringly,

Passionately give yourself touch and massage,

Do so with the assurance that you're safe and that you have more than the capacity to become more aware of how debt may be debilitating in your life.

And on all the places on the spectrum therein,

Acknowledge your revelations and then transform them.

You have the capacity to do all of that.

I'd like for you now to imagine that you are in a kind of art gallery.

But this art gallery also looks and feels like a cozy,

Safe childhood space.

If you can imagine one that you experienced with your relatives,

Like Big Mama's or Auntie's house.

Maybe it's in the backyard with your uncles or cousins grilling up some barbecue.

Wherever it is,

There are pictures on the wall or otherwise displayed somewhere,

Framed pictures of your ancestors as far back as you know.

Who is it that you see?

I'll give you a few moments to see their faces,

Recall their names and remember any stories that you know about them.

Do you know how any of them received money?

Did any of them struggle with money?

Who was it that lived in debt?

And who lived debt free?

What do you know about their financial situations,

How they managed it all,

Their status,

Their financial status?

With your guide next to you,

Ask any of your ancestors questions for which you do not have or that you need answers for to help you in this time of your life as you seek to be free from debt.

I'll give you a bit more time here to ask those questions and receive the answers.

Now,

Imagine you can sense or see how you are connected to the ancestors whose situations somehow resemble yours.

The details may not be exactly the same or even similar,

But it resonates.

There's just something about their stories that feel like yours,

That you're drawn to,

Etc.

Imagine this connection presents like a cord.

Can you see how this cord is linked to where you felt pain or discomfort in your body when when I said the words money or debt or described any of those rather helpless situations that you could have been in?

Let's breathe here.

Now,

If and only if you are ready,

Even if you're scared,

But you're ready.

There's a pair of scissors just over there that you haven't seen before.

Look over there and grab them,

Get them.

And if the cord that connects you to that ancestor is a cord of connection that is not helpful for you in your financial situation.

Cut the cord.

And now say the following out loud with me.

I release.

I release this cord.

I cut this cord between me and my ancestors legacy of debt that comes from inherited and persistent racial inequity.

This cord that I cut does not serve me or my highest good,

And only that which serves my highest good has a place in my life.

I am surrounded in love and light.

I am ready to flourish.

In all the ways that I can flourish.

This is my birthright.

This cord that I cut does not serve me or my highest good,

And only that which serves my highest good has a place in my life.

I am surrounded in love and light.

I am ready to be everything I am created to be.

I am ready to live into my rightful inheritance,

My full birthright.

This cord that I cut does not serve me or my highest good,

And only that which serves my highest good has a place in my life.

I am surrounded in love and light,

I am ready to,

And you fill in the blank for what you're ready for for your right now and your future.

I am ready to.

And this is my birthright.

My rightful inheritance.

Now breathe and look around inside of your meditative state.

What's,

What's up with this cord that you cut.

What does it look like now.

Some of you may feel like you want to pull it out of the place you saw it connected to.

You've cut it now you want to pull it away.

Imagine some kind of disposal or transmutation of it.

Whichever however makes sense for you.

What else do you notice.

Do you feel lighter.

Was,

Was there more than one cord.

Do you feel brighter.

You feel empowered do you feel like you're getting more information.

If there was more than one cord repeat for as many cords as are ready to go,

And that you are ready to let go of.

I'll give you some time here to take in all of this.

Reflect if you wish,

Which you may want to write or draw or otherwise document in your journal.

And again if you need more time,

You can always pause the meditation.

Now,

Look over in this other space that you haven't paid much attention to before,

And you will see a big beautiful tree just over there.

Go and sit under it.

Your spirit guide sits with you and opens a basket of your favorite healthy treats and beverages.

Resting here under the tree adorned with your confidence and accomplishment.

You bask in all of this energy absorbing all of it.

It is you.

Energy is you and you are this energy empowered and glowing and beautiful and bright and forward moving and very very hopeful,

Filled with hope.

Picture this energy in however it comes to you.

Let it heal the places where the cord was connected and seal it.

You may feel quite pleasant sensations on your body like warmth,

Softness,

Soft breezes,

Even a coolness,

Refreshing sensations.

As you are in this space.

Know that you may still need to work through the physical circumstances of your situations.

But now you are working through them following a very impactful transformational experience.

Your situations may have layers and branches or winding routes that will take some time to unravel unwind and clear.

So,

Feel free to return to a space like this one to commune with God universe ancestors angels guardians and guides for insight,

Wisdom and specific direction as you continue to heal grow stronger,

Wiser,

And become fully debt free forever.

Let's breathe and rejoice smile and feel energetic and capable.

You got this.

We got this.

The whole collective.

All right now,

It's time to return to consciousness,

The full presence.

There's no rush,

Though.

It's time to thank your spirit guide and return fully to your body.

And then continue by wiggling your toes and your fingers.

Feel the physical presence of your limbs,

Your legs your arms.

Slowly roll your shoulders.

Softly let your head drop and roll from one side to the other.

Slowly open your eyes.

Notice the objects around you.

Let's take a deep breath.

Go on now.

Go forward.

Knowing that you have the power within you to transform any situation that is uncomfortable,

Painful,

Even debilitating that is now serving you as you live into your purpose.

This power.

You can be in space with debt money and be completely relaxed and ready to engage.

You are designing and then driving your energetic exchanges.

You are desired.

You are important.

You are loved.

You,

Black person.

You matter.

You are needed.

You are so worthy.

Thank you for taking time for yourself and sharing this time with me today.

May it be so.