When You Are Anticipating A Stressful Event

Welcome everyone.

This is a guided practice that's going to be a bit longer as a way to prepare for stressful events.

When a meeting is coming up that you have a lot of anticipatory anxiety about,

When you're thinking about having a stressful conversation with a loved one or a partner or family member that you're worried may not go well,

When you're going to go into a meeting at work that you have some challenging feelings about or not sure what you're going to do,

Or perhaps you're about to give a presentation to a large group of people and your body's feeling anxious and worried about what's going to happen,

Any of the scenarios of life where we're going to be asked to show up fully and perhaps say things that are difficult or speak from our heart and from our gut in a way that we haven't before,

This practice is a wonderful way to prepare by connecting to ourself.

So often in anticipatory anxiety,

Our heart starts to race,

Our body gets very jittery,

Our blood starts to pump through our body and our mind gets a little scattered and our breathing changes and that's all part of our fight or flight reptilian brain response where we've had a thought that says,

Uh oh,

Something scary is going to happen,

Something dangerous is coming and our body starts to ramp up as if we were going to be able to run from the situation,

Run from the tiger,

But this isn't something you can run from,

This is a situation that you're going to be stepping into and so we want to have you as grounded and self-connected and in your wisdom and clarity as possible and this practice is for that.

So deep gratitude to yourself for really showing up in this moment,

For turning toward yourself instead of any habituated way that you've often dealt with anxiety or anticipation,

Nervousness.

We're going to take some time to really self-connect so that whatever this situation is that's coming,

You're going to walk through it and come out the other side,

Connected to yourself and hopefully far more in line with your wisdom,

Your clarity,

Your strength,

Your knowing,

Your capacity.

So coming into your body,

Coming into your breath,

However you are right now and you're welcome to sit up for this practice or if you're feeling very agitated,

Absolutely you can lie down,

Letting your pelvis connect into the earth,

Your grounding cord dropping like we've practiced before.

Might be helpful to imagine the earth holding your pelvis like if you're sitting on a pyramid of light or you're wearing a hoop skirt made of light and grounded energy that connects around your waist and just very gravitationally holds you and helps your body just release into the grounded connection with the earth,

Finding a spot with your name on it in present time in the core of the earth and connecting there,

Remembering that you are enough,

That you are a child of the divine,

That you have everything you need to walk through this coming time,

That there's always support and holding here underneath you.

And often our body is reacting because of a thought or a multitude of thoughts that we've been thinking that are stressful and our mind loves to show us these kind of scary movies of what it could be like,

What you could say wrong or what they might say or what could happen or a way you could mess up or you're going to be abandoned or made fun of or right?

Our mind does this.

It thinks it's protecting us from all of these what ifs but the reality is it's showing us a bunch of things that aren't true.

There's no way we can know what's going to happen.

And more often than not,

It goes far better than we think,

Or at least it's not going to go the way we think.

And so you don't have to believe the scary movies that your mind is showing you and therefore the ramping up in the agitation that those scary movies in your mind start to create in your body.

The truth is in this moment,

You don't know what's going to happen.

And the truth is that you are enough.

And in this moment,

You are safe and you are okay.

And your power lies and staying connected to yourself.

So we're going to call our energy back from the future.

From any idea of what we think is going to happen and we just come back to the now.

Feeling your grounding cord rooting in the earth,

Feeling the vitality and steadiness of the earth coming up into your body.

And I invite you to put your hands on your body for a few moments,

Perhaps your hand on your heart,

Other hand on your low belly,

So that you can feel yourself.

I'm right here.

I'm here with you right now.

This is the only thing that's happening is I am here with myself.

I'm taking care of myself.

I'm giving myself all the love and strength and awareness that I might need to walk through this day with self connection and power and compassion.

Just feel your body breathing under your hands.

Maybe your heart's beating fast.

Maybe your breath feels a little short.

We're not going to judge that or try to make yourself be peaceful.

We're just going to be lovingly present for whatever's here in your body.

And with each exhale,

Just seeing if you can invite this agitation to drain out your grounding cord,

To let it settle and compost down into the earth.

Often,

The truth is,

It's like we don't want to live into the future that this challenging feeling makes us think is going to happen.

We're scared of what could happen.

And so we get anxious and anticipatory and agitated.

When you are feeling fear or anxiety,

Your body or your mind are sending danger signals out that something ominous is going to happen.

But the reality is that you don't actually know what is going to happen.

You are just having a stressful feeling or an anxious thought,

An uncomfortable moment.

And that's okay.

It's okay to have these.

Your mind thinks it's protecting you by gearing up for what might happen.

But the reality is that in this moment,

Nothing is happening,

Except you are here being present for yourself.

And you don't need to give your energy to a scary future in your mind.

You can stay in your body and your power and in your heart right now.

You are seated,

You are supported right here right now.

So we're not going to follow the scary stories or thoughts that the uncomfortable feeling or the agitation in our body is indicating to us.

And we're just actually going to feel what we feel.

Instead,

You don't need to abandon yourself and jump into the thinking about how you feel.

You can stay with how you are right now.

Breathing,

Being with your experience exactly as it is.

And staying home,

Staying home in yourself.

You are enough.

I'm here with you.

It is in this place of home of interconnection that you will find the most skillful,

Clear,

Wise and powerful version of yourself to walk into whatever comes next.

So I'm going to teach you two practices that are really helpful when you're in this anticipatory state.

The first one is called RAIN.

R-A-I-N.

The R stands for recognize.

The A stands for allow.

The I stands for inquire or investigate.

And the N stands for nurture,

Nurturing ourself,

However we feel in this moment.

So the R,

We recognize I'm anxious,

I am nervous,

I'm worried this isn't going to go well.

I have trepidation in my heart,

My body's agitated.

My mind is racing.

You're recognizing that this is how you are right now.

Just notice sensations,

Beliefs,

Whatever's here.

And the A is to allow them to be here.

You don't have to fight this feeling.

You don't have to fight yourself or fight your anxiety or your stress.

You can allow them to be here.

Allow your body to be doing whatever it's doing.

Allow your mind to be doing whatever it's doing.

You don't have to go to war with this experience.

You don't have to go to war with what your brain thinks might happen.

You can't know that anything your brain is showing you is true right now.

We don't know.

But we do know that right now,

You are breathing in your body and you're having these sensations and these feelings and that is reality right now.

And you can allow that to be here.

The I is investigate or inquire.

This can look many different ways.

Some examples might be,

What is it that I'm really feeling right now?

Where is this anxiety in my body?

Maybe you want to put your hands there and breathe into it with some compassion and kindness.

What is it my brain thinks is going to happen?

Why am I believing that?

Is this actually happening right now?

Or is this a future that my mind is running me into?

A really wonderful question is,

What do I need right now?

What would be the kindest thing I could do for myself in this moment?

Or the most supportive thing?

Or the most empowering thing I could do before this call or this talk or this meeting?

What is the most loving thing I could do for myself in this moment?

One thing I can promise you is that the willingness to feel how you feel,

To not run away from yourself,

To not judge how you feel,

Is incredibly empowering and supportive.

You are enough.

You are having a big feeling and that is okay.

And you're doing this radical,

Amazing,

Revolutionary and incredibly helpful thing of being with your feeling right now as it is.

And the N of RAIN,

The N is NURTURE.

What is this scared,

Overwhelmed,

Anxious part need from you?

What would it like to hear?

Perhaps it's I love you,

Or I'm not going to leave you.

Or you can do this.

You are safe.

This person doesn't have any power over you that you're worried about talking to.

You are enough whether or not they agree with you.

Or even if this meeting or this presentation doesn't go the way you want,

I have faith that you're going to connect to your body and your breath and your brilliant mind and you will find your way through.

Or perhaps this part needs to hear and be reminded that you are supported.

There's so much grounded,

Loving presence underneath you.

And there are so many people in your life that love you and see you.

And you're just trying.

You're just trying something new or you're stepping into something that you want.

Or you're going to speak truth.

And that is a beautiful thing.

I love you.

I'm here.

It's okay that you're having this feeling.

It's okay that you're anxious.

It's okay that you don't know what to do.

I'm not going to leave you.

Just keep breathing.

You can practice RAIN anytime.

And it's also a wonderful practice for journaling to go through these questions or these awarenesses one by one while you journal is also really helpful.

The other technique I want to show you today is the 90 second rule.

So this has been proven in neurobiology.

It's also been known for thousands of years in meditation practices that if you are willing to feel something for 90 seconds,

It transmutes the feeling.

It's incredibly powerful.

Often,

As I've said,

When we have a strong feeling,

We think we need to run away from it,

Do something about it,

Push it away,

Fix it.

But you don't.

You actually just get to feel it and breathe into it and allow the chemical cocktail of that emotion,

Release and float through your body and do what it's going to do ripple through.

And then it releases and it purifies and you are much freer on the other side.

So I invite you as you move toward whatever this event is to just continually find 90 seconds at a time to feel however you feel,

To feel your heart beating,

To feel the kind of squeeze of an anxious mind,

To feel the fear that it's not going to go well,

To feel the sadness you feel when you feel all that self-doubt creeping in.

Just give it 90 seconds and don't do anything but feel it.

90 seconds is about 12 breaths and just breathe into that feeling for 12 breaths.

Find it in your body.

Stay with the sensation.

You're not going into the thoughts or the stories about the feeling.

We're breathing right into how it actually feels,

The felt sense of our experience in this moment with kindness.

Make room for this feeling.

Allow it to be as big or powerful as it needs to be.

You can feel anything for 90 seconds and I promise you it won't overwhelm you.

Neurobiology has proven this again and again.

What you're actually doing is a profound revolutionary practice of making room for yourself as you are.

Breathe into the feelings.

Stay in your body.

This is your vehicle of life.

This is what's going to carry you through all the moments that are coming and it's safe to be here in your body.

It's safe to be in this moment.

It's safe to be kind to yourself no matter what's happening.

Wish yourself well.

Extend love and care to yourself.

Send some light to surround whatever is coming,

The meeting,

The conversation,

The person you're going to relate to.

Just send a light around that whole situation and imagine a light around yourself as you go into it,

Knowing that you are enough,

Knowing that you are loved,

That you are supported and we're just here to learn and grow.

Perfection doesn't exist.

Walk into this day feeling your own spine,

Your own root,

Knowing that you're enough,

Living into one moment at a time of this precious life,

Setting your intention for yourself and coming into your center.

Your center can always be found no matter what feeling you're feeling.

And I invite you after this event is over,

Whatever it is that's coming,

I invite you to come back into your body afterward as well and celebrate that you stayed self-connected as much as you did or that you did something different that you've never done before.

And also notice that whatever those scary stories were that your mind had shown you,

They didn't actually happen the way your mind showed you.

They never do.

Not exactly.

It's always different.

So we don't have to believe our mind so much.

You have what you need inside of you.

Blessings on your day.

You've got this.

Be well.