Hi,
And welcome to this RAIN meditation session.
Today's practice is for dealing with guilt and shame.
As you might know,
RAIN is an acronym for Recognize,
Accept or Acknowledge,
Investigate and Not Identify or Nurture.
If you are not familiar with RAIN and want to know more,
Start by listening to my introduction to RAIN meditation first.
Otherwise,
Please find a comfortable position with your back straight and gently close your eyes or soften your gaze.
The fact that you are here is already a good sign that you are aware of the guilt or shame feelings you want to overcome or deal with.
Let's guide your awareness by locating this feeling in time and space.
Starting with time,
Think of the main event that triggered your guilt or shame to start building up.
Go back to the very beginning of it.
It's important that you identify this,
Because sometimes,
When a strong emotion arises,
We absorb everything around us and might end up misattributing the cause of it to something other than the true trigger.
Focus on the timing.
Very good.
Now,
Think for a moment of the space you were in when you started to feel this guilt or shame.
Let your mind offer you the first answer without overthinking.
Perfect.
Now that you have both time and space,
I want you to be fully aware of the feeling.
Find the main place in your body where that feeling lives.
Is it a tightness in your chest?
A sinking sensation in your stomach?
Your head lowering or your shoulders curling in?
Your throat tightening?
Or perhaps your eyes wanting to look away?
Notice it.
Well done.
Now that you are aware of this feeling,
I would ask you to acknowledge it.
Acknowledging means you know it's there,
Without judging it.
You recognize and accept its presence.
The feeling is there for a reason.
It's your mind and body talking to you in a language you are about to understand.
To do so,
You just need to accept that the message is there first.
Observe it and label it.
Call it by its name.
Notice that now you are the observer and guilt or shame is the observed feeling.
Now that you see the feeling from the outside,
We can start investigating.
There is something really important I want to share with you.
A moment ago,
I asked you to call the feeling by name and you might have chosen guilt or shame.
These are generic names we often give to a variety of feelings and putting them all under the same label is an easy way to describe them to others and ourselves.
But now we will do something very powerful.
We will unpack guilt and shame in all their shades and you will be able to understand exactly which one of them resonates more with how you feel.
This will help you relabel it,
Understand it and put into perspective the feeling as well as your reaction to it.
Let's start our investigation.
I will offer you four forms of guilt and shame,
Each with its name and an example to help you decide which one you recognize yourself with the most.
You can keep in mind the one label that represents your state best and switch it with another one only if it feels more accurate.
This way you will get to the end knowing which one is your new label that will substitute the generic guilt or shame one.
The first one is embarrassment.
This is a mild form of shame or self-consciousness in a social context.
Like when you trip while walking into a room full of people and while it's not a huge deal you still feel a bit self-conscious.
Do you feel embarrassment?
The second one is remorse.
This is a deep regret for a specific action.
Imagine saying something hurtful during an argument and then feeling the weight of regret for your words wishing you could take them back.
Do you feel remorse?
The third one is regret.
This is the deep sadness of inaction for something you didn't do but wish you had.
Like thinking for a while about saying something important to someone and never finding the courage,
Only to realize it's too late.
Do you feel regret?
The fourth one is humiliation.
This is a deeper form of shame,
Often in response to being belittled or degraded by others.
Imagine a colleague mocking you in front of everyone during a meeting making you feel small and exposed.
Do you feel humiliation?
Now that you have investigated your feelings to find the right label you have a much better understanding and context about it,
Don't you?
So what is your new label to substitute the generic guilt or shame one?
This is a very powerful way to get in touch with yourself and if you are still unsure,
You can listen to the list again until you feel satisfied with your understanding.
Maybe you realized that by putting things into perspective the intensity already feels milder than before.
You are doing great.
We have reached the last step of our RAIN journey.
The non-identify or nurture.
This is a key step that,
If done right,
Will give you the relief,
Closure or sense of freedom you are looking for.
Especially if in the investigation step you realized that guilt or shame had mostly to do with your own expectations or the way you thought others perceived you.
To do so,
I want you to go back with your mind to the acceptance phase when you identified the part of your body that was more affected or representative of your feeling.
I would then like you to recall the new label you gave to guilt or shame from the ones we investigated together.
And once you have the word,
You should mentally place it on the part of your body affected by it.
Use your imagination to visualize it now.
Perfect.
Now take a long,
Deep breath through your nose Hold it.
And when you exhale through your mouth,
See the label slowly detaching from your body.
Like the air flowing away from you.
Carrying the heaviness of the feeling it represents.
And as it does,
You feel that area of your body changing.
It feels lighter and better.
Do it again.
Inhale deeply.
Hold it.
And as you exhale,
See the label move even further away from your body part.
Which now feels restored.
One last time.
Inhale deeply.
Hold it.
And now as you exhale slowly,
See the label far away from you.
Mentally repeat,
I am not my feelings.
I am not my feelings.
I am only me.
And that's enough.
Remember this,
As we get closer to the end of this journey.
You can nurture this sense of freedom you have just created.
Be thankful to yourself for having taken the time to heal your mind today.
Rain is a process.
And it might not always be easy or straightforward to complete it in just a few minutes.
The more frequently you practice,
The more you will discover and harness its power.
I trust you're feeling better already.
And I hope to meet you tomorrow to continue your journey into a better you.
Free of the burden of unwanted emotions.
All the best.
Till next time.
