This is the meditation for assholes.
Go from Ehola to Aloha meditation.
We're on the H in Aloha,
Which is Ha-a-ha-a.
Ha-ha-ha.
No,
It's really Ha-a-ha-a.
Which is humility.
So humility,
Does that mean being less than and meek and submissive?
While some dictionary definitions do list those as synonyms,
Actually humility is more about being right-sized,
At least for meditation for assholes.
Not being better than or less than,
But being equal.
Being part of a universal energy.
This is a really good meditation after doing the start your day method for meditation for assholes.
You can learn about that on the site or on Facebook.
It's also good for if you're really pissed off or your ego's wounded and you kind of want to tell somebody to screw themselves,
But also there's a part of you that wants to get relief from the feeling that you're carrying right now.
Or to prevent the feelings of the emotional hangover that happen if you do tell somebody to go screw themselves.
So,
Grab a seat.
Take it off a little bit.
Just move your body side to side.
Literally roll your shoulders back and forth.
Breathe in,
Drop your shoulders on the exhale.
Breathe in,
Lift your shoulders on the inhale and drop your shoulders on the exhale.
We'll get Taylor Swiftie and kind of shake it out a little bit before we get into the meditation.
Take another deep breath in,
Holding and exhaling.
You can breathe in the spirit of being right-sized and on the exhale let go of the feeling less than.
Breathe in the spirit of being right-sized and on the exhale let go of the being better than.
Keep breathing,
Inhaling and exhaling.
As we're aware of the situation that caused us to have an ego bruise,
Or an ego inflation,
Allow your inhale to calm that feeling and allow your exhale to let go of the feeling.
Allow your next inhale to quiet the ego a little more.
And the exhale to allow the ego to kind of escape.
Inhaling,
We breathe in humility and on the exhale we let go of any shame that we may be carrying with us.
Keep inhaling,
The humility and exhale is going to let go of being better than.
And with each inhale of the idea of humility,
We notice our body growing calm.
Our thoughts may be growing fewer and farther between,
And we're simply aware.
Aware of any tension that still remains in our body.
Aware of our breath being slightly less labored.
We're aware of the balance of our breath,
Which is simply a balance of inhaling and exhaling.
This is also the same balance of receiving life from plants and giving life to plants.
We're not better at it than they are,
We're not worse at it than they are,
We just are.
So allow the breath now to represent balance,
And the exhale can be letting go of lack of balance.
As thoughts arise of either,
I can't believe I said that,
Or they suck.
Be mindful those are just stories.
Return to your breath,
Inhaling humility,
Exhaling,
Letting go of should-haves.
You can continue to breathe in humility and let go of,
On the exhale,
Anything about them or the situation that made you feel better than or less than.
And for the next moment or two,
Just continue breathing in on that pattern.
We can be mindfully aware now that our bodies are calmer.
Our breath is less labored.
We invited humility in,
And we let go of ego and shame.
We're willing to be right-sized and to let go of being right.
We notice the joy that our body gets from this balance.
When we're ready,
Take a deep inhale once again through the nose,
Holding at the top and on the exhale,
Let go.
Inhaling,
Send the breath to all the parts of your body,
Particularly any that still may hold any tension or tightness,
And on the exhale,
Just kind of move your muscles around in that section of the body.
Inhaling and exhaling once again up through the top part of your body.
You can roll your arms out,
Roll your hands around,
Wiggle your fingers,
Roll your head side to side.
When you're ready,
Gently open your eyes.
Make sure you breathe,
Stay balanced,
And continue to go from Ehola to Aloha.
Mahalo.
