We can get very used to the stressed version of ourselves.
We can get so used to it that that's the only version that we know.
And if we're not that way,
We might feel like we're not ourselves.
For me,
There's a version of myself that emerges when everything,
When all responsibilities are gone.
When all the weight of the day,
Of the week,
Of the world can be put aside.
When all the activations from or within to try to keep me safe are deactivated.
At that time,
A part of me emerges that feels more bouncy,
More joyful,
More engaged.
More enthused.
To me,
That feels more natural.
It feels like a deeper version.
And so to reveal that requires some attention and some meditation.
And these two things are deeply intertwined.
So as we drop into meditation,
Closing our eyes,
Going inside,
It's so important to notice where we are being pressured.
Where our system is reacting.
Where it's defending.
How it's tightening,
Resisting,
Reacting.
So we can feel that.
Notice that in the breath.
As the breath gets tighter and shallower in the chest,
We can feel it in the muscular tension of the neck or the shoulders.
Jaw,
The back.
And at the outset,
Just noticing all of that without needing it to be different.
Without forcing a change.
And then dropping that breath into the belly by releasing the tension there.
Noticing how we hold tension in the belly.
How we're conditioned to have that strong core to protect.
To be able to go out and fight.
In meditation,
We want to give up the fight.
Release all of the defenses.
Break down the walls.
And let that breath come deeply down into the belly.
Moving that belly outward as the breath comes in.
And then just letting go of that breath.
That letting go.
We can begin to absorb layer into layer of our protection system.
Each out breath just releasing,
Giving up.
Surrendering.
When the mind comes in to tell us that there's so much to pay attention to,
We can't just do this right now.
There's too many things to do.
You can just hold that.
Remember that we came here to let go.
We'll get back to that later.
Let the mind just do its thing.
And keep the attention on this process.
Breathing into the belly,
Softening,
And then letting go.
Noticing the tensions,
Breathing into them.
That breath in is an acceptance of possibility,
Of the unknown.
And there's a trust in there,
There's a faith in there that that breath is going to bring that next moment of life,
Vitality to us.
And then we just completely release into the out breath.
With each round of breathing,
We soften a bit more.
As we soften,
We release these layers of tension,
Of protection.
And we allow something to emerge from that pressure cooker.
That part of us that can emerge when we are without any responsibility,
Responsibility,
Without any expectations.
Part of us that just can almost float in this moment.
And as we breathe this way,
We can add in the hold at the end of the in breath.
Just to grab that moment,
Space in between the in breath and the out breath.
To feel and sense the build up and the change,
The shift,
The desire to let go.
And then letting that breath go.
When we're done releasing,
Just completely dropping breath,
We can then pull the belly in to squeeze out more breath.
Which also then kind of builds up this moment,
This pressure,
This desire,
This need really to take that next breath in.
We can allow that to happen.
Feel that relief,
That immense joy of having that next moment.
Doing that a few times,
Breathing in,
Holding,
Letting that build up happen,
And then completely letting it go.
Complete surrender to the moment.
And then pulling in that belly,
Squeezing out the air,
Creating another moment of a little bit of tension,
A build up of desire.
And then taking it in again.
Really tuning into all of these stages of being,
These natural ways of being.
And expand outward into other aspects of how we are in the world,
How we take things in,
How we hold them,
How we release them.
If we're releasing them,
What happens if we don't?
Feeling the sensations,
Feeling the vibrations in the body as we release tension.
Feeling that alive feeling,
That sense of being.
Leaving thought out of it.
Just being with sensation.
And letting go completely.
The hardest thing to do,
Just releasing all control.
Noticing that when we do,
The body's still active.
The mind's still active.
Everything still happens without our control.
Without our direction.
And we can just watch.
Cultivate that observer.
And be witness to all the sensations.
Without engaging in any way.
And then as you're ready,
Slowly coming back.
Opening your eyes.
Keeping that soft focus.
Keeping that softer being less defensive or open.
Allowing you a different experience for the rest of your day.
